Hello, my name is BittersweetSummer.

Here is a list of my fanfiction recommendations that can be found OUTSIDE of this site.

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I would like to take a moment to recognize some pretty awesome people. If you guys never read this, it's okay. If you do read it, then you're awesome. (But you knew that already, right?)

First up is UndeniablyMe, who's so awesome and nicer to me than I deserve. Seriously, you rock, UM.

Also, to Ophelia Skinner, thanks for the PMs and rants; it makes the world a lot more bearable.

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50 Things About ME:

Note: This is totally ripped-off from nikkiRA's livejournal entry, here. Except it's less interesting. And nikkiRA, if you're reading this and utterly hate me for being a copycat, you can yell at me all that you like and I'll take it off. (On a side note, everyone go and read her kick-ass Blackwater stories!)

1) I have brown hair and brown eyes. Sometimes I wish I were more colorful.

2) I am a very private person. And extremely paranoid.

3) Orange Tic-Tacs are my vice.

4) I listen to any kind of music, with the exception of hard rap. Unless it's catchy.

5) I hate Stephenie Meyer. And Twilight. And Bella. And her perfect, happy, beautiful world.

6) I used to LIVE-BREATHE-THINK Twilight. I was stupid back then.

7) I don't HATEHATEHATE Twilight fans. We all have a guilty pleasure.

8) The Legend of Zelda should be the eighth Wonder of the World.

9) I love Disney. Miley Cyrus is probably the only exception.

10) My sense of fashion stinks.

11) Books are the only thing that can cheer me up when I'm sad.

12) Spell-check saved my life.

13) I hate bugs.

14) I love sarcasm.

15) I phail at being sarcastic, though.

16) I don't like to curse.

17) But I do anyway.

18) I feel horrible whenever I do.

19) Eighteen is my favorite number. Funny that I'm putting this in the number nineteen spot.

20) I am a proud citizen of California. Just wish it would snow.

21) I watch Titanic and the Notebook. And I cry every time.

22) As you can see, I'm a sucker for love.

23) But still haven't found it yet.

24) I love to write.

25) Even though I'm not that good.

26) I enjoy fangirlish squealing.

27) I don't like people. There are exceptions, though.

28) I'm not good with children.

29) But I want to have a kid someday.

30) I hate celebrities that don't have any discernible talent at all besides knowing how to breathe.

31) I love making fun of said celebrities.

32) Without internet, I'd have no life whatsoever. Oh wait...

33) When I read, and have to stop, it always has to be at the end of the chapter. Except in Harry Potter, because those are mile-long.

34) I watch CSI:NY because it's cooler than the others.

35) House, M.D. = awesome. That is all i need to say on the matter.

36) My procrastination skills are terrific.

37) Joel McHale is my hero.

38) Not really.

39) But I still think he's awesome.

40) I Wikipedia everything.

41) I make a lot of typos.

42) I love root beer and candy corn. Not together, though.

43) I fangirl obsessively over Scorpius/Rose. If you didn't notice.

44) I fangirl over Draco/Astoria too.

45) If you do not know who Astoria Greengrass is, I pity you. Might I recommend Google?

46) I hate it when Draco is paired with other people.

47) Because whenever he's with Ginny/Hermione, I see Harry/Ron's dejected-looking faces in my mind.

48) I try to act cool.

49) But I failed.

50) Truthfully, I'm not all that interesting...

...But to those who think I am, PM me. We can become FF buddies. :)

NOT-SO-RANDOM-RANTING:

--My ALL TIME favorite books are Harry Potter. No question.

--And I find it hard to imagine that Twilight is being compared to Harry Potter. I'm sorry any Twilight fans, but Harry OWNS. I'm not really a fan of Stephenie Meyer because now that I look at it, Bella is a really whiny person that isn't really that special, and I find it hard that Mike and Tyler and even Edward fall for her. And on every page, I read about Edward's "amazing golden eyes" or his "wind-blown, tousled bronze hair"

IMPORTANT NOTICE. DO NOT READ IF YOU LIKE TWILIGHT (NOT THAT YOU'D BE HERE IF YOU DID):

I read Breaking Dawn.

Oh my.

I think that Stephenie Meyer just dug her own grave.

HAHAHA!! I KNEW it!! Stephenie Meyer, bow down to the awesomeness of Harry Potter!! Harry, I know that you know that you're awesomer than Edward Cullen (Harry's just too modest to admit it) but this finally proves it! Congratulations, Meyer!

It was a good 700-page laugh. Seriously, I started laughing spontaneously in the middle of reading. My parents looked at me strangely, but no worries. They already think I'm crazy.

Tut-tut Meyer, I seriously wonder how you got onto the bestseller's list.

Okay, spoilers coming (although you probably heard already):

Bella Swan, our tragic, Beautiful Swan of a hero gets the "perfect" wedding with her vampire hubby Edward Cullen (with a few werewolf fights thrown in as casualties.)

He whisks her off to their private island (snort) and they have wild animal sex and he bruises her and breaks the headboard, and our Beautiful Swan has no worries, who cares if he might have accidentally killed her? She's just in it for the wild-animal sex.

And then she finds out that she is (-gasp-) pregnant! They head back to their stupid little town and don't even question how it's possible for a hundred-year old man to impregnate a shallow, whiny girl. (Promoting pedophilia, perhaps...?)

Then it switches to Mr. Jacob Black Big-Bad-Wolf's POV, and he describes Bella and how wonderful she is and how she's so beautiful and everything, and angst-ing liking there's no tomorrow. In the background, the werewolf pack is vomiting. (I wouldn't blame them. It's pathetic)

He goes to Bella's house in a rage, and sees her pregnant and unable to function properly due to the giant vampire baby in her uterus (I enjoyed her suffering,) while the I'm-so-hot blond vampy-chick Rosalie is protecting her because she wants the demon spawn for herself. Bella doesn't really notice (or care.)

Then Edward talks to Jacob asking him to have SEX with Bella if she decides to have an abortionso that she could have a normal-un-demon-spawned-child. Seriously, Edward, you're asking the rival to have sex with your woman so that she could get pregnant with another man's child?

(hands Stephenie Meyer a brochure for the nearest mental institution)

Bella has the baby, and it's really disturbing. Edward performs a C-section on her (with his TEETH, nevertheless) while she's vomiting fountains of blood and her eye vessels popping, and the baby BREAKS HER SPINE. All the while Jacob is pumping her heart, (making sloshy sounds!) but quits after a while and ditches his "one true love".

Isn't it BEAUTIFUL!?

The demon-baby with a funky name pops out and Edward turns Bella into a vampy (her life's ambition) Jacob, (who I remind you, was mooning over our main character just moments before) imprints with her BABY, for goodness sakes, and he lives happily ever after, protecting the no-good spawn.

Bella is back, as a beautifuller-swan/vampire, and is magically perfect in every way, and wants to see the demon baby for herself again. Here Stephenie Meyer goes into a horrid description of the baby's awesomeness with her "auburn curls, brown-chestnut-colored eyes, and cutesy face."

Then there's this big hype where they're all stressing about a battle, and I'm like "FINALLY, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE! AWESOME! (PLEASE BE BELLA)!"

There's no fight.

Stephenie Meyer can write a gruesome birthing scene, but can't write a battle? C'mon. (See guys, this is why JK Rowling is a better writer. Death makes the reading experience so much more real, in my opinion. I BAWLED when I read the part about the Battle of Hogwarts.)

Anyways, they all live happily ever after with their demon-spawn, and Bella gets her happy ending, full of cliched words like "forever" and "perfect" and all of that junk. Seriously, the last chapter is named "Happily-Every-After" or something like that.

Oh, I feel so mean. But typing out the hideousness-that-is-Breaking-Dawn is oddly relaxing.

Good Luck Meyer.

(high-fives Harry)

FIN.