The icon -points at profile picture- is not mine. I'd give credit and ask permission, but I can't remember where I got it from. If you own it and want me to not use it or give credit, please PM me so I can do so.

Name- Lucifer's Lament (I'm not saying my real name. I refused to be called a tree)

Age- Not legal

Location- I'm in Wonderland as of...now

Quirks -Is being pansexual a quirk?

-I like to be different in a stranger way than unique people because all those starving little Africans Tim Minchin did a tribute to need our support. I'm different like that

- My awsome hat can and will take over the world

-I'm myself and I won't pretend to be something I'm not

-Archery rules. So does Relic, which is what I have named my bow.

-I laugh at the flames I read, the idea of God and people who curse me to hell. Because my school features the reincarnation of the devil himself. Which, for the record, is not me. And our deputy principal may or may not talk to his stapler.

-I hate hospitals with all the passion of a thousand suns. I spend far too much of my time in hospitals.

- Novelist Pup and indigo Potions are my favorite writers on here in that order.

Personality- Sort of bipolar?

If people get your gender confused, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile

"Would you let me?"

"...like hell, brat"

"Into paedophilia now? I'm disgusted,"

"I have nothing to say to that" - A questionable conversation between a couple in my group. Seriously, these people make me look normal and I wear a top hat with a purple sash,roses and an ace of spades on it, pants with giant buttons sewn on and a ankle length black coat. As opposed to my school uniform.

"I’ll jump, I swear I will."

"No you won’t"

"Why wouldn’t I?"

"You love me better than pain. I’m sexier."

"Stupid ass"

"Machoist" -Well, we had nothing better to do. Other than screwing with people's minds.

"Would you die for someone you love?"

"I don't love. Still mad, remember?"- Sad but true. I'm pretty passive about things like crushes and love. Frankly, my relationships ended in me almost losing my best friend -our friendship is seriously strained now- and being used by my other best friend -who I still want to knee in the balls. And basically all my crushes ended in would-be tears if I was willing to actually cry. Needless to say, I gave up on the whole concept of 'love'. I figure theres to many painful feelings and too much tension

How many teacher's did we retire in year seven again?

We stopped counting after the fourth teacher in first term.

Good times, eh? -This is sadly true, the top class gave one teacher several nervous breakdowns, at one point even making a substitute run from the classroom, bawling. I only know this because I was the one who she ran into and therefore had to console her. She thanked me for being such an, I quote 'understanding and polite boy' I resisted informing her I was, in fact, female and late for detention. And -now in year ten- the top class still wrestle in chalk pentagrams during math. Nobody's really sure who's meant to be teaching them during that period.

Lucifer, put the sword away and get on with your work. I never thought I'd have to say that. -one of the awsome (read: sadistic) teachers in my school. I continued to poke my friend with the sword anyway.

When you walk into class and people start asking how your boyfriend/girlfriend is, implying heavily that you screwed at school, you have 4 (in my opinion) options

1) Smile sweetly and reply, 'wouldn't you like to know'

2) Throw something -preferably large and/or pointy at the one you hate most

3) Grin at them, tip your awsome, awsome hat at your teacher and walk out humming a classical tune. Maybe even singing 'Bad Girlfriend'. Proceed to wonder around, scaring year sevens and terrorising classes by appearing in windows so that students see you and dissapearing before you are caught.

4) All of the above (if possible)

Needless to say, I took three and hummed 'Bad Girlfriend'

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Pimp slap a police officer

2. Update a story more than once in a month

3.

... Okay, I’ve got nothing else to add to that list.

When life gives you lemons, sic death on him and then sit back, smile and watch the show

QUOTES THAT AREN'T MINE

"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking."

God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day.

"Retreating? Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!"

I am a hostage to my own humanity -Relient K 'Be My Escape' it's been implied that I'm holding my humanity hostage so I find this relevent for some unclear reason. Cheerio~!

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Out of a mixture of boredom and plain curiousity as to who will take me up on this offer, I'm willing to do oneshots for people who request them as long as I know the Anime/Book/movie it's about. Or I'll refer to one of my anime-junkie bitches (read: friends) and see what I can do about writing it up.

ANIME/MANGA

Death Note (WOO! MATT!)

D. Gray-Man

Naruto

Bleach

Trinity Blood (Tres is kick ass and, yes, I'm guilty of drooling over Petros muscles too XP)

Anima

Dogs

Inuyasha

Hellsing

Amatsuki (okay, seriously? Bonten is HOT. Two years my senior at the very least but still hot)

Pandora Hearts (WOOT! Break is awsome!)

Shugo Chara

DNAngel (Okay, I didn't actually read this one but I have a friend who rants about it so I can write it with her help)

BOOKS and MOVIES

If I haven't read it, I'll get hold of the book and write your story, it'll just take longer. Same with movies. I admit I love books but it's not an addiction, I can quit any time I want. Sorta. Maybe. Not really.

Oh and about Twilight. No. I will absolutely NOT write anything about Twilight. I'm sorry but I have a personal vendetta against sparkly vampires in abusive relationships with Mary-sue girls any normal girl can replace themselves with. And despite popluar belief, there is nothing at all romantic about your blood draining from your body unless you're machoistic. Trust me, it hurts and somehow, I doubt having it sucked out feels nice either. Anyway, I don't support necrophillia or bestality.