NOTICE: I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month in November (www.nanowrimo.org), so I will be entirely UNAVAILABLE during that period. I may be able to tear myself away from my novel long enough to post a few things, but I will not be able to respond to reviews until December. I apologize for the delay, but I appreciate every review!!

If you want to look me up on nanowrimo.org, search "Anne Lessing" in author search. I love writing buddies!!

"Writing is easy. All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead." - Gene Fowler

My fictionpress account is located at http://www.fictionpress.com/~notwithoutmustard

I am a Sith Lord who has a passion for writing. I love taking characters and making them into believable human beings, love the rush of creating great prose, love the thrill of shocking my readers with a sharp twist in plot. I write for upwards of two hours a day every day, and can't go anywhere without my notebooks and iPod--were it not for the lovely melodies of Fall Out Boy and The Vitamin String Quartet, I wouldn’t be able to do squat.

I don’t have a preference for what I write, other than fiction over nonfiction. I just got off a kick of writing nothing but one-shots and drabbles; production on them has slowed but far from stopped. Currently, I’m focusing on my multi-chapter, A Crisis of Faith.

Some of my pet peeves are religion, hot weather, social gatherings, advertisements before movies, Mary-Sues, and young adult literature.

Some of my favorite things are the colors black, red, and dark purple, biting cold, Batman, Shakespeare, lists, the crack of thunder, the deathly solitude of a winter night, Darth Maul, and paleontology.

And, of course, fanfiction.

MY STORIES

Finished Projects:

(Yes--ordered alphabetically by fandom, then chronologically, from earliest to latest. Knew you were wondering.)

An Issue Resolved (LittleBIGPlanet)--One-shot, one of the first LBP fics on the site, and my first real attempt at comedy, in which Sackgirl encounters a seemingly insurmountable obstacle. Inspired by a true story, and may be joined by a companion.

Rip it Out (POTC)--My very first one-shot. Describes the events that took place surrounding Davy Jones’ fateful decision. Needs serious reworking, but I just don’t have the time right now. I keep it up for old time’s sake.

All’s Fair (POTC)--A drabble from Calypso’s point of view justifying her actions towards Jones. Mainly an exercise in Dalypso, but I still rather like it.

Slave to the Song (POTC)--A one-shot exploring Jones and Calypso’s relationship and Jones’ attachment to his music. Another remnant of my Dalypso phase--nothing particulary new and novel here.

Terminal Peace (POTC)--A one-shot, you-based, describing Davy Jones’ death. Still powerful, even though it’s getting on in age. May or may not be joined by a companion piece, and may also be revised a tad.

Forbidden Fruit (POTC)--A weird slash ficlet between Beckett and Jones. I was in an "I want to shock people" mood, but this turned out to be one of my favorite pieces ever. Needs and will receive expansion, possibly into a multi-chapter.

Fame Versus Infamy (POTC)--A drabble in which Jack Sparrow reflects on fame. Inspired by the title itself, which is also the name of a Fall Out Boy song.

Stages and Players (POTC)--I was reading Twelfth Night, came across Jacques’ "All the world’s a stage" quote, and immediately thought of Beckett and this drabble. I’m still quite proud of it.

Poetry (POTC)--A small collection of doggerel spawned in a fit of inspiration. Will likely never be updated.

I, Grievous (Star Wars)--A character study of Grievous, and my very first drabble. It came to me in a flash as I watched SW III. At the time, I didn’t even know what a drabble was--but one of my favorites.

Birth of the Hunter (Star Wars)--A one-shot detailing the crash of Grievous’ ship and a conversation with Tyranus before his surgery. He’s my second-favorite Star Wars character, so this fic was quite interesting to write. That’s what I hate about the prequels--bad acting, best villains!

Makes a Man Think (Star Wars)--A script-format one-shot, on which Darth Maul’s body is found at the bottom of the core generator by two rather dimwitted maintenance workers. One of my favorite pieces ever.

Man Overboard (Treasure Island)--One-shot, an expansion of the event in the book in which Mr. Arrow disappears overboard, presumably from being drunk. Treasure Island is one of my favorite books, which is what prompted this piece. I don't know if I'll ever go back to that fandom...if so, it'll be far in the future.

A Paradox (V for Vendetta)--A one-shot giving words to the (wordless) scene in the graphic novel where V is shot by Mr. Finch. It hit me as I was reading one night, and I still like it.

Current Projects:

The Journal of Davy Jones (POTC)--Just what the title says. Production has stalled at just two drabbles, but (Arnold Schwarzenegger accent) I'll be back!

Captain's Quarters on the Lunatic Troubadour (POTC)--Drabbles written for the Broken Compass drabble challenge. I haven't updated for a while, but the fic is far from dead--I'll be back! Never get tired of that.

Family Ties (POTC)--I'm done with this. I just want to burn the monster (and its insidious Mary-Sue by the name of Evelyn Jones) and move on! I worked on it for a while, decided I didn't like it, deleted it, began publishing it again...ugh. It's dead.

A Crisis of Faith (Star Wars)--An AU fic in which Maul fails in his first mission and is captured by a conflicted Jedi. The first three chapters need serious reworking, but chapter 4-onward is great. Easily the most introspective thing I've ever written, and it's really helping my expand and refine my talents. This I plan to finish by the end of December '09. Will very likely not extend beyond 20 chapters, but two sequels are being planned. I'm in the process of acquiring a betareader for it.

Future Projects:

I see a lot of POTC, Star Wars, and Batman in my future. I want to write a multi-chapter chronicling Harley's "romance" with Heath Ledger's Joker, and there are the sequels to ACOF. I'll also write a romance-fluff LBP multi-chapter (UPDATE: I've begun it already!), and perhaps some Sweeney Todd and Harry Potter one-shots. I've been wanting to do Shakespeare for a while now, but my muse has been mute; I'm hoping I'll have more luck with Mythology. Other planned fandoms are Dracula, Bible, The Office, Lego Star Wars, the Abarat series, Coraline, Edward Scissorhands, and the Bartimaeus Trilogy.

I, Anne Lessing, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read,

regardless of the number of reviews,

its age, or anything else.

I have joined the review revolution.

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile

~HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG~

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever seen a movie SO many times that you can quote it word for word, and you have at random moments, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you see The Joker everywhere and hear his laugh during the day put this in your profile.

If you think Heath Ledger made The Joker too HOT for words put this in your profile.

If you try to act/dress like The Joker because he is so awesome, put this in your profile.

If you now say "I want my phone call", "Why so serious?", and "You wanna know how I got these scars?" at random points in the day, put this in your profile.

If you are now afraid that you will die by getting a pencil shoved through your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters of your fanfictions in your head, copy and paste this on your profile.

If, for some odd reason, you noticed that it was a miracle that something from the ship didn’t conk Lord Beckett in the noggin when he was about to die, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've noticed that every person Elizabeth Swann kisses is killed, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are WRITING A BOOK YOU INTEND TO PUBLISH, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are completely obsessed with and/or have a major crush on Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, Hector Barbossa, Lord Cutler Beckett, or James Norrington--and are proud of it!--copy and paste this into your profile and put the ones you like in Italics.

If you hate Twilight so much it has ruined the romance genre for you, copy and paste!

If you believe Twilight is the bane of our society, C&P.

If you are weirdly attracted to Darth Maul...guess what you should do with this.

FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. Because who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.