Sooo let me tell you about me :3

You can call me Paxy I am -- years old. I would like to give credit to XxDarkSarcasm1010xX for figuring out what Paxy was short for! Good job! Paxy is short for Paxton! But don't call me Paxton >:( call me Paxy or Paxy~chan! Or Shadow, Cat, or ShadowCat! I will not lie, I am a huge pervert! Sheesh just look at my favs! Most are rated M or T!
I'm a perv and I'm DAMN PROUD OF IT!

I have a DeviantArt account: http://paxipeanut.deviantart.com//

And here is my OC for Naruto that I actually created a BACK STORY for! (Yeah, I know, I have no life): http://paxipeanut.deviantart.com/art/MeiMei-Redone-140310933

My story updates:

A Whole New Point Of View Updated on 11/06/09 -- Chapter count: 5 -- Newest Chapter Name: Rhyming Games and Chuunin Exams -- ETA for Next Update: No more than a month (hopefully).

Petals, Puppets and Bombs Updated on 10/13/09 -- Chapter count: 1 Newest Chapter Name: Feelings -- ETA for Next Update: Soon, my pups. Soon.

I suggest these stories;

One's a Hidan story, I loved it. It made me cry! :3 She who wrote this is a very talented writer.

My Rosary and Me by HellFire Kitten

This one's a DeidaraXSakura lemon and it was HOT! And very creative! Once you read the third chapter you'll know what I'm talkin' 'bout ;3

Evanescent Perfection by J-Pop Princess

Suggested author(s):

sharingank has over 100 stories (Note: not all are from Naruto though -_-')

NARUTO COPY AND PASTE-IT'S:

╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝

if you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real or you were one of them copy this to your pro.

You Know your obsessed with Naruto when you...

-Dye your hair pink (or blonde) and try to walk up a tree.
-Live by a strict diet of only ramen.
-Call your semester examine a chuunin exam.
-Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.
-Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "byakugan".
-Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.
-Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.
-Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.
-Paste a piece of paper that says "come come paradise" on the front of adult books.
-Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.
-Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.
-Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou.
-Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out.
-Join a website and use the name Ino as your s/n.
-Start to call your teachers Sennin.
-Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.
-Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.
-When someone ask you who your dream boy is and you say Naruto.
-Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central.
-Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.
-Refuse a date because your saving yourself for Neji.
-Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.
-Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.
-Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke.
-Put a picture of Sasuke in your wallet and tell your friends it's your boyfriend.
-List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.
-Can spout out a random character quote on command.
-Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a hole in a wall with it.
-Sneak around and try to beat your grandfather.
-Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".
-Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.
-Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.
-Read manga 24 hrs non stop just so u can read more.
-Decide that if u can't hit a tree 1500 times then. You'll jump rope 1500 times.
-Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".
-Cry when you figure out that Itachi is really good.
-Proclaim Itachi your love for life.

LMAO! XD ~Paxy

Number your 12 fave Naruto characters (In no order) and answer the questions!!

1 Deidara
2 Ino
3 Hinata
4 Sasori
5 Pein
6 Gaara
7 Sakura
8 Zetsu
9 Sai
10 Kakuzu
11 Itachi
12 Tobi/Madara

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Gaara and Itachi?! Could it get any more crack-filled than that? And no, I have not read any.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

OMG, YES!

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

I do not think that is physically possible O.O

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Yesh :)

My fav:

Human Behavior 101 by mingzhu

It's a lemon... and a hot one at that XD

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Yeah

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Pein and Sai or Pein and Kakuzu... hmmm... Maybe Pein and Kakuzu?

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Sakura would get a nosebleed watching Tobi and Hidan X3

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.

Hinata was a reject, disowned by her father, and runs away from her village. She stumbles upon the Akatsuki and asks to join. Surprisingly she slowly and surly falls in love with the Money-loving Kakuzu. What will happen and how will other react? Read to find out :3

Thats all I have! ... pretty crappy huh '

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

Zetsu and Deidara? In a fluff?! Maybe...

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Sakura/Tobi Hurt/Comfort fic?

Perfect Genjutsu :3

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

(drools)

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Maybe?

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

I don't know.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?

Sasori/Ino/Pein? (nosebleed) If so then SHOW ME! (drools)

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Kakuzu: MONEY!!

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

A song for Zetsu? Maneater by Hall and Oats

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Deidara/Gaara/Tobi. WARNING: Rated M because I damn well feel like it. Also, extreme yoai!! And you will most likely get a nosebleed >:)

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Kakuzu to Hinata? Oh, dear lord... "How much?" is all I can think of OMG im horrible X3

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

Itachi commenting on a relationship between Ino and Zetsu? "Well... she does love flowers, and plants..."

20) How emo is Seven?

Sakura? Emo?! But she has pink hair! She cant be emo!! (panics)

THE NARUTO SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!

1) Who is your favorite character(s)? Deidara, Zetsu, Sasori, Gaara, Itachi and Pein :3

2) Who is your favorite pairing(s)? ZetsuXHinata, DeidaraXSakura, PeinXSakura, GaaraXHinata, GaaraXSakura :3

3) Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? I'm female, I have to like yaoi. It's in my genes. :)

4) Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? (cries) No!

5) List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise. I have headbands and gloves and I want posters. AND I have the manga! And a Pein plushi! drools

6) Have you ever felt you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? OMG Gaara Because he needs some love :)

7) NaruHina or KibaHina? KibaHina. Naruto is too blind to realize Hinata likes him, therefor, does not deserve her.

8) SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SasuNaru. Because I love yaoi!

9) Which team is your favorite? ... Does the Akatsuki count? God, I'm so hopeless...

10) Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) No. Tobi can't be Obito. Because, in Naruto volume 43 Tobi tells Sasuke he's Madara. Though, I wish he was Obito is so hot!

11) Do you support the 'Yodaime is Naruto's father theory? Yes!

12) Your favorite Akatsuki member? Deidara Damn you Sause-gay for killing my fav Akatsuki member >:(

13) Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Anti-Sasuke, dammit!

14) Have you seen all of the Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? HELL YEAH! (drools)

15) Have you read all the chapters so far? Nope... (cries)

16) Do you believe Naruto has ADD? Yeah :3 I have ADD and magic markers! Oh the thrills I will have >:)

17) Sub or dub? Dub.

18) Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Sakura is so annoying in Naruto, but in Naruto Shippuden she's way better.

19) Tobi= Annoying or funny? Tobi is totaly EPIC. And funny as hell ;3

20) Do you even know who Tobi is? HELLZ YEAH!!

21) Gai= Sexy beast or ugly nerd? Sexy beast X3 lmao!

22) Which character would be the best cross dresser? Would anyone kill me if I say Deidara? Yes, someone will kill me?! Um...! NO ONE! (cowers)

23) Rock Lee= Weird or awesome? Lee is AWESOME!

24) Which character would be the best OOC? Who and how? Naruto. He wouldn't be so stoopid. Wow, I am in love with the show Naruto, but I hate the main character 8 That's sad '

25) Do you like Naruto fan fictions? YES~!

26) Do you write Naruto fan fictions? YES!

27) Do you like lemons? Look at my favorites (perverted grin) I mostly have rated M and T >:3

28) Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? No (cries)

30) Have you seen the Naruto Ultimate fan flashes? Huh? MORE NARUTO STUFF?! WHERE WHERE WHERE??#/1#@?!@?!@!!@?@?2/1?@!?

31) Have you ever got someone else hooked on Naruto? Yeah :3

32) Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and someone recognized it? LMAO yes the person in the seat next to me called me a dork when she realized I was drawing the Naruto logo X3

33) Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and your teacher came up to you and say 'WTF is this? Yes, today at school I was drawing Hinata and my teachers all like "WTF is this?" and I'm all like "yo it be Hinata biznitch!" lmao not really :P Well... he did catch me drawing Hinata but thats not how the convo went O.O

34) Has Naruto affected your life and grades? Life:YES Grades: lmao yes :3

35) Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Damn skippy I am! And damn proud of it!

36) Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? Yes, please!

37) Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? HELL NO! I AM THE AKATSUKI LEADER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

38) Do you draw Naruto fan art? Yes :)

39) Is Sasuke still sexy in the second stage of the curse seal? I hate Sasuke, but I will not lie. He is very sexy.

40) Do you have a Naruto OC? Yes, MeiMei Kurono. I even have a story for her! A Whole New Point Of View :)

41) Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? I would be surprised if it didn't!

Found this at Alisria's profile.

COPY AND PASTE-IT'S:

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree and
the boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
that are on the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteres

be in the rghit pclaes. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

I actually cried :'(

Have you ever:
1. x Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. x Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. x Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. x Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. x Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blond when you're not/or had people tell you that your blond highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. x Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. x Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. x Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. x Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. x Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. x Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. x Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. x Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. x Have had the juice from a grape squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it (=
18. x Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. x Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name that's never good
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. x Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on (I didn't forget it was there I did that on purpose :22. x Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. x Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. x Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it Or someone else's
26. x It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. x Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. x Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour
31. x After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. x Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. x Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. x Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. x Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. x Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. x Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. x Walked into a pole
40. x Wore two different earrings or shoes on accident
41. x Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. x Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. x Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. x Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what it was that you were going to do
46. x Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it on accident when your drink was right next to it
47. x Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. x Poked yourself in the eye
49. x Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. x Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. x Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. x Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. x Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was
55. x Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. x Looked into an overhead purposefully while it was on
57. x Got up early and got ready for school/work, then realized that you didn't have school/work that day
58. x Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. x Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny
61. x Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner then had someone make fun of you for it
63. x Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. x Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. x Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. x Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. x Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. x Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. x Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. x Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. x Have sat on a bench with wet paint on it. (Damn paint got stuck to my ass! )
74. x Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. x Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. x Have purposely licked playground sand
77. x Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. x Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. x Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. x Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. x Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about .
85. x Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. x Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird.
88. x When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. x Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. x Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it
91. x As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. x Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. x Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. x Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. x Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. x When you saw a beware of dog sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. x When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling
99. x Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class (LMAO!!)
100. x Have popped a balloon in your mouth

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at aplayground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR - was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do was
GROW UP?

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (Do you see any cuts?!)
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I must be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. (I KNOW, right?!)
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. (Seriously, just because they love who THEY want to love doesn't mean you should shun them for it...)
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (Look above.)
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. (I don't give a shit about your beliefs! I have my own and you have yours and I respect that.)
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. (Hell, I'm poor myself!)
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. (Seriously...)
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. (twitches) "DO I LOOK CRAZY?!" I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST belong in the kitchen. (Hell, I'm rarely in the kitchen! lmao Normally I'm at the computer...)
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. (I'm too young to drink anyways!)
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo. (No comment.)
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (Who said I even have a boyfriend to nag?)
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. (Pretty much)
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. (Nope, I'm just unique JACKASS)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. (Same as the other one...)
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (lmao!)
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (Seriously WTF is up with that?!)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO. (Actually, it's more like I'm asexual.)
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so IMUST like llamas.
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. (Jeeze I would hope I'm a virgin! I can't even get drunk yet so I don't remember it! lmao... well, I'm a great influence aren't I?)
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. (I am violent though...)
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy. (Wait... what does gamer mean again? Like... video games? Sheeze no wonder my grades suck -_-')
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (ZOMFG I LOVE KEWL-AID!)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (No comment)
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (No comment)
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (Personally, I have no problems with 'em!)
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (Yeah, WTF IS UP WITH THAT TOO?!)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. (Meh.)
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. (umm Most popular people DO at my school.)
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (Pfft...)
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST not fit in with everyone. (Wait, that doesn't make sense...)
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (I mean, It's very little artistic talent but still...)
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (I'm a-social not anti-social.)
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (I AM CRAZY LMAOLOLROTFLOMG!!)
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. (I do tell people off and I'm proud of it.)
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. (NOT MY FAULT DAMNIT! I SHOWER EVERY GOD-DAMNED MORNING and yet I STILL smell like a pig-pen!)
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. (I'm defensive by nature!)
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. (LMAO!)
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. (Comics are da SH1T lmao!)
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. (Anime is AW3S0M3!)
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (LMAO!)
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. (Pretty much O.O)
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (Last person to make that mistake ended up in the school clinic with a bloody nose and a black eye.)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (LMAO!)
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep (WTF?! Sheep?)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (MWAHAHAHAHA!)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! (WTF?!)
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. (O.O)
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. (You kiddin me? Yaoi is HAWT X3 yo!)
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. (I do not hug trees! Things will stick to me, like sap or ants and.. ow. Ants...)
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. (Actually, she's quite the opposite. Wait a second... didn't I just use that line?)
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex. (EWWW!)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins (O.O)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (Pfft cartoons rule!)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (I'm not a loner because I read! I was a loner WAY before I got addicted to reading!)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology so I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (MWAHAHA XD I will bomb you! GASP! LIKE DEIDARA! God, maybe I am a Narutard O.O)
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. (Seriously, to a guy, watching girlXgirl is apparently "hot" so why can't it be the other way around?)
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED (I am NOT a box so I am NOT to be labeled!)
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast (I curse worse than a trucker )
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish (No comment)
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. (I don't know why I just... have to do it or it bugs me...)
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. (ME NOT BE STOOPID! lmao...)
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. (Nope, I'm asexual. Which means I don't like guys OR girls.)
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. (I only cry easily because... well that's for me to know and for you to... yeah.)
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist (I am NOt a perfectionist! Woops made a mistake OMIGOD I AM GONNA DIE I HAVE TO FIX IT! lmao...)
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. (Meh. No comment.)

If Hannah Montana was about to jump off a 60 story building 80 of the teen population would be screaming 'don't do it'!
If your one of the 20 that would be there screaming "JUMP BITCH JUMP" Copy & Paste this to your profile

Death of an Innocent

I went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom...
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,
you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

(I actually did cry on the lower one)

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, ZeratheNightDancer, Acegik13, Ryuu-Chiyo, Akemi-Chiyo, Archangel's Requiem,Guyanies-Hinndi-Chick1993, CherryWolf-chan, Reads-way-2-much, I-LOVE-MY-REVIEWERS, Heaven Hell Angel, o0ShadowCat0o

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

f you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar-high, copy onto profile, sharpie counts too!

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you love Horror movies, paste this in your profile.

If you like Evanescence, paste this in your profile.

If you love the color Silver, paste this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, Bloodied Sand,KeraQ, Sabaku no Annie, Jasmin Kaiba, insanechick13, Heavan Hell Angel, o0ShadowCat0o,

Drugs are bad news. Copy this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. (I LOVE TELITUBBIES XD!!)

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your signature

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here. (shifty eyes)

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you think that those Godforsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever busted a move or burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are like me and totally support homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. They are people just like you and me, so don't hate them just because their sexuality is different.

98 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch, or Hollister said it was uncool to breathe. If you are a part of the 2 percent that would be laughing their asses off at them, put this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

FAKE VS. REAL (All you guys are real and I love you so much; thank you for showing me that friendship is anything but conditional XOXO) (And my old elementary "buddies" can rot in the bloodiest bowels of hell for all i give)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (TOTALLY HAD THE HAPPEN BEFORE!)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. (Awwww!)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. (Nice!)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” (lol)

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kicks everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?

Isn't it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

IT'S SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING!

Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING!

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!

BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MULTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!

IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE, IT'S ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING.

If you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same.

F RI EN DS

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions (LOL!!)

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away (Damn straight!)

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Freind: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they’re after me in the first place (Nice! I did that once...)

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro! (Damn penicil...)

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

This is a story about a little girl that was abused.

If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is Sarah I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!",

I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Wow, that's just terrible. Who would do that to a kid? - Paxy aka o0ShadowCat0o

Quotes I've used:
"My Mommy says I'm special, but who's Ed?"
"Oh, good morning! I see the assassins failed..."
"People don't understand my sarcasm because I'm way too good at it."
"And reality continues to ruin my life."
"Simon says, SHUT THE FUCK UP."
"My names not Elmo but you can tickle me anyways." O.O
"I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse." -_-'
"I like poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick."
"The voices in my head think you have some serious problems."
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."
"I was going to take over the world,but I got distracted by something sparkly!"
"Don't knock on Deaths door... ring the doorbell and run!"
"Jesus loves you, but I still think your an asshole."
"The shit you hear about me might be true... but then again it might be as fake as the bitch who told you."
"Whoever said anything was possible, obviously never tried slamming a revolving door."
"Don't hit kids! Seriously, they have guns now."
"Momma said they was magic shoes!"
"Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?"
"I'm not a bitch. I just don't like you."
"Break my heart, I'll break your face."
"What happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?"
"Screw hugs. I'm going to tackle you when I see you."
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over."
"What's this thing you call normal? Is it contagious?! OMG!! Don't touch me, I might catch your normal!"
"Oh I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?"
"I'm multi-talented. I can talk, and piss you off at the same time!"
"When you feel that nobody loves you, that no one cares for you. That everyone ignores you. You should really ask yourself, 'Am I too sexy?'"
"Good friends don't let you do stupid things... alone."
"Shhh, girl. Shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller & talk with your hips."
"Oh, no baby. I'm far from normal."
"Don't annoy the crazy person."
"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."
"Behind every great man... is a woman rolling her eyes."
"You never really learn to swear, until you learn to drive."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"Let's play Truth or Dare. Or maybe just Dare, because nobody knows how to tell the truth anymore."
"Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock."
"I'd tell you to go to Hell, but I work their and I don't want to see your ugly face every day."
"Let me write that down in my 'Things I Don't Give a Shit About' notebook."
"It's funny how a person can feel so lonely in the middle of a crowd."
"My friends are the kind that when the house is on fire, they make S'mores and hit on the firemen."
"It's funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything's different."
"Oh please, I don't turn heads. I fucking break necks."
"I'm so cool, ice-cubes are jealous."
"I'm busy. Your ugly. Have a nice day!"
"It's a beautiful day! Now watch some asshole fuck it up."
"Friends ask why your crying. But best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the mother fucker who made you cry."
"Do it today! It might be illegal tomorrow!"
"I might be stupid but your ugly, and I can learn."
"Today, I will be happier than a bird with a french fry."
"Fuck you very much."
"When life gives you lemons, squeeze it in someones eyes and hall ass!"
"I'm not mean, your just a sissy!"
"Legally, it's questionable. Morally, it's disgusting. Personally, I like it.
"Oh please, if I'm a bitch, your a bitch. Your moms a bitch for having a bitch, your dads a bitch for fucking a bitch. So who's the bitch now BITCH?!"
"I'd so bang you."
"So, I'm a little crazy. That's how I roll."
"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass."
"I'm so cool I trip up the stairs."
"I have more fictional boyfriends then you. Beat that, bitch!"
"Yes, I am insane. But, every now and then, I have these horrible periods of boredom where I have to act normal, like you."
"I have ADD and magic markers. Oh, the thrills I will have."
"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!"
"If it weren't for Physics and Law Enforcement I'd be unstoppable."
"Girls like me don't come around very often. You'll either grow to hate me, or learn to love me. But either way your wasting your time, because you can't beat me, and
you sure as hell can't join me."
"You want to talk shit about me? That's fine. You want to think shit about me? That's fine. You want to start shit about me? That's fine. You want to hate me? That's fine.
Starting to get the picture? I don't care."
"Me, a bitch? Yeah, slightly. I just don't know how to say Fuck You politely.
"Your IQ is as high as a speed bump."
"I'm cute? No shit."
"If drama was vodka, I'd be wasted."
"I'm so fucking happy I could shit rainbows."
"The Police never think it's as funny as I do."
"If your looking for perfection, go buy yourself a Barbie Doll."
"I didn't slap you! I simply high-fived your face."
"Son of a batch of cookies!"
"Video games ruined my life! Good thing I have two extra lives..."
"I swear to drunk I am not God!"
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
"I suffer from CRS. (Can't Remember Shit)"
"When I said 'I'd hit that.' I meant with my car."
"Men are like parking spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped."
"Life's a bitch, because if it was a slut, It'd be easy."
"Never take life seriously. No one comes out alive anyways."
"I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous."
"Fake is the latest trend! I see your in style already."
"Being a bitch is part of my charm."
"I'm more confused than a 15 year old boy waking up on his grandparents lawn naked!"
"I don't have ADD! I just like the pills."
"Uh-huh... Now tell me which brick you want me to hit you with."
"Girl's with butts like mine, don't talk to boys with faces like yours."
"I'm so hot, I make fire stop, drop and roll."
"Make yourself useful and get nakkid!"
"The whole world is going to Hell, and I'm driving the bus."