hiya welcome! er...what to say...i am in my teens...live in Scotland...have 2 dogs and 2 little brothers 1 big brother and am constantly called crazy by other crazy people...that's about it...

my pet hates of fanfics

-bella/jacob fics: it isn't meant to be! get over it already!

-most non canon fics in general although there are the odd ones out

-droning on for the sake of making the chapter longer

-stopping in the middle of fics; finish what you started!

-when sentences don't make sense

my fav things about fanfics

- canon couples

- time travel fics

-spy fics

-when fics capture and keep your attention

-cliffhangers; people moan about these but it makes the fic THAT bit more exciting

-good grammar and spelling

- funny fics

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a constant enemy, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile

I am not gay. But I believe that everyone has a soul mate, so why should it matter if they are the same gender?

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

yu know you are obsessed with twilight when...

You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.

You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.

You've read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse at least 5 times each!

You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.

You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, and/or Eclipse.

When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.

Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.

You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.

You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.

You have nothing to do, so you go to www.stepheniemeyer.com and read everything on the site twice. And then go to the Lexicon and do the same thing.

You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.

When your best friend's mom drives fast and you scream, "OMG! You drive fast! You're a vampire and you didn't TELL me?"

You drink red drinks and yell, "Whoo! I'm a vampire! But I'm a vegetarian one, because I don't kill people! Only red berries!"

You buy your friend her own copy of Eclipse so that she doesn't have to steal yours for any amount of time.

You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.

You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.

You see a shadow, think it's Edward, and start talking to it.

You compare every guy you meet to Edward and are honestly disapointed when they never measure up. (pffttt ya.)

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever fell UP the stairs, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show or read a book) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. (THE LION KING IS SUPREME!)

IF YOU THINK THIS POEM IS SAD, RE-POST IT TO HELP SPREAD AWARENESS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE:

My name is Sarah,
And I am but three.
My eyes are swollen,
And I cannot see.
I must be stupid.
I must be bad.
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better.
I wish I weren't ugly.
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong,
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.
When I awake, I'm all alone.
The house is dark.
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car!
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse,
My name he calls.
I press myself
Against the hard wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes.
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping.
He shouts ugly words.
He says it's my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more.
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl.
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!" I scream,
But it's now much too late-
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
Oh please, God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And he heads for the door
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah,
And I am but three.
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

FOR THE GIRLZ

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Girl: Sorry, there are no services today.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Girl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Random Facts

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

(hands up who actually tried this!)

Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or

it will digest itself. (YUCK!)

The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War 2 killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

(Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!!

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: 6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents! a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

some people are getting a bit confused about my story 20 years later in Canada. it is written as if breaking dawn never existed but Bella was changed as planned. the Cullens now live in Canada. hope that clears most of the confusion!

i have made a website because it wouldn't let me paste pictures here is the link. it has pictures of the girls out fits! pleeeease check it out,

www.weatherwitch.synthatsite.com

My friend/cousin 'it's my guilty pleasure' is awesome! go check her out!...if you read more graphic stuff that is...:D