Author has written 5 stories for Twilight.
I am quite possibly the kluziest person in the Milky Way,right up there with Bella...
Obsessions:Reading, writing, lime green,black,fanfiction, IM,and MONKEYS!!
I am random.My friends say I am exactly like Bella. My enemies say I am exactly like Bella, only fatter.
Name: For me to know and you to wonder.
Age: Guess ,bet you dont get it right!
Hair color: You name it its been it. Naturally brown though.
Eye color: Chocolate brown.
Favorite song: Every time I'm asked it changes. PM me and I'll tell you the song of the moment.
Favorie TV show: Probably NCIS.
Favorite movie: Italian Job!!
Favorite Cullen boy:Emmett. I mean who doesn't love a big teddy bear that will kick someones ass for you?
Things I learned from Twilight!
1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and saefest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Grand Theft Auto is bad...unless its a porche
31. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.
I laughed so hard at this.
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation.)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.What's the other use?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Bella's favorite jeans in Shopping in Doom's Shadow(Not yet posted.)http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER3C3Efolder_id=2534374302028394&PRODUCT3C3Eprd_id=845524442182672&bmUID=1223604431345
Bella's shirt in Shopping in Dooms Shadow http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=101&subCategoryId=113&productId=10485
Bella's Yellow Slingbacks in Shopping in Dooms Shadow http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=109&subCategoryId=205&productId=13773
Bella's skirt only shorter in Shopping in Dooms Shadow http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=102&subCategoryId=117&productId=13740
Bella's New Shirt in Shopping in Dooms Shadow http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=101&subCategoryId=113&productId=14338
The Boots in Shopping in Dooms Shadow http://www.rackroomshoes.com/product/Maripe/1400.125037.html