Bonjour. Je m'appelle Simone. I just learned how to say that via a French speaking friend, so I am saying it at every possible moment. I am a short female with brown hair and eyes that change color. Odd-I know. One day they will be green/brown, the next brown/gold, and the next black/brown. My favorite color is green because I was born on Saint Patrick's Day (March 17), and I am a complete and total grammar Nazi. I am a very cynical atheist, and I tend to become sarcastic when faced with someone who annoys me...which is quite often.

Making a good "that's what she said" joke makes my day, and I am a closet perv. Sexual jokes are the ONLY jokes that are funny. Except for Potter Puppet Pals. Because those are freaking hilarious.

I am a member of what I call the Review Brigade. I review every chapter of every story I read, whether I enjoy the story or not. I try to give constructive criticism, but I am sorry if I come across as harsh. I would appreciate it if others did the same for me when I start writing multi-chapter stories.

I have no patience for bad Fanfiction. If anywhere in a story it mentions "I will only update once I get X number of reviews" or "ok so plz will you review bc im like a 13 yr old and its my first fic so b nice!" I consider it bad Fanfiction. If anywhere in a summary does it say "plz read i suck at summaries!" I will most definitely not read said story. Use of the phrases "me and ," "you did good," or "where you at?" automatically cause a story to be considered bad Fanfiction. I will lose all respect I ever had for the author as well. I have wasted too much time reading horrid stories with overused plots to have any patience for them any more. And honestly, if an author cannot take the five seconds it takes to spell check a story, I will not waste the five minutes it takes to read the story.

On the other hand, if anyone has any stories or authors they would like to recommend, I will gladly read their stories. However, if a bad story is recommended to me I will not listen to any future recommendations from this author.

If you are ever feel like talking, or if you are just bored, feel free to PM or email me to chat.

You stay classy, fanfiction.

And thanks for stopping by.

But mostly stay classy.

Sarquan (Simone)

AIM: chocolatethief17

Email: icesk8r94@hotmail.com (hush I haven't changed it since the 6th grade)

P.S. GARGANTUAN "thank you" to Rosette-Cullen who put up a link to my story on her profile. She is an extremely talented author who has a bunch of very detailed, very well written stories. Check her out and send her lots of love!

Also a huge shout out to SuffocatingUnderWordsOfSorrow for creating a character named Simone based off of me in her wonderful story "Foreign Exchange Hottie." Thanks for the laughs, darling!

On Friday, May 8th, 2009, Daddy's Little Cannibal (Stephanie) was in a drunk driving accident. She was my favorite author with a fantastic sense of humor and twisted plots that never ended the way the reader expected. She will be sincerely missed. Rest in peace, Stephanie, we are all thinking about you.