Hi There, you have found my little corner on the enormous site of ff.net! Congratulations! :D

Now, first off I write my fics for fun but sometimes, I get out of inspiration when I get lazy so I won;t be updating as much. Reading, however, is my favourite. So Far I have posted one incomplete story and I am still writing. I will start to write a second one soon, so stay tune for that! Right now, I am obsessed with Harry.Draco because its...hot. No other explanation. Also, my newfound love Ichigo.Hitsugaya!Yay! Now, more perosnal stuff is that I am male, still in high school and I love potatoes. And no I was not kidding about the last part. And though I know this may be obvious a bit later, I am gay. I am also a fanboy! Muhahahahaha! Unfortunately, I am also boyfriendless...sob

For my fic preferences, I usually love reading good vampire fics and lots of fluff but doesnt have to be together. A little angst will do me no harm, but it does get me depressed so I prefer humour more! Erm, what else? Oh yeah, I love /slash/, too. Hmm bondage is cool too but to a certain extent. lol.

Now about my stories:

Inverse Matrix is a rare Beat/Neku pairing and it involves them both becoming a reaper! Somewhat AU and mostly OOC, we'll see them terrorizing players for fun. I hope you like it since it won't have anything too angsty or sad in here. Chapter 1 is now up!

I am discontinuing EOW. Most of the characters will be re-introduced in my other Harry fic. I apologize to everyone who read it. But no one really read it, so...there's nothing to apologize for.

Barging In is apparently having late posts! Sorry about that!

Mata Ne,

Shunsuke-sensei

Elements of Wizardry

DISCONTINUED!!

'New Story I'm planning on' has been removed! Ask for the summaries for them by PM'ing me. Here are the titles and category though.

Junjou Romantica: As Time Goes By!

Harry Potter: Join the Dark, Destroy the Evil!

Bleach: Dark Snow

Original Story. Will be on FictionPress.com: Daddy Assassin

Fave Pairings:

Inheritance Cycle: (MurtaghxEragon)

Digimon: (YamatoxTaichi) (TakeruxDaisuke) (KoushiroxTaichi) (DaisukexTaichi) (TakeruxYamato)

Naruto: (SasukexNaruto) (NarutoxKiba)

Pokemon: (AshxBrock) (AshxGary)

Twilight: (EdwardxJacob)

Ben 10: (KevinxBen)

Ranma: (RanmaxRyouga)

Harry Potter: (Harryx Draco) (NevillexBlaise) (BlaisexSeamus) (HarryxDracoxBlaise) (SiriusxRemusxHarry)

Bleach: (IchigoxHitsugaya), (IchigoxGrimmjow)

Ouran High School Host Club: (KaoruxHikaru), (KyouyaxTamaki), (MitsukunixTakashi)

For my story recommendations, just look at my favourites! I would reccomend all of those to you, since I loved them as well.

(Y)
(o.o)
o(")(")o

Copy the bunny to your presentation to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side. (We have Cookies/Ramen/Manga/Slash.

You are a Clueless Uke!
Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that can be a good thing. You're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who might take advantage of you, but you probably won't even notice, or really care, as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Most compatible with: Opportunist Seme, Romantic Seme
Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme

-from SemeUke.com!

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

!!Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!!

Copied from BakaNekoSan. :)

Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriages Are Wrong

(A Little Humor)

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, menopausal women, women who have a medical condition which makes it harmful to be pregnant, women who have had a tubal ligation, men who have had a vasectomy, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

As far as I know, this was supposed to be funny, so haha...hm.

You know you’re a SasuNaru fan when:

You think about SasuNaru 24/7;
You dream about SasuNaru all the time;
You try to throw stuff at Sakura, when she try’s to ask Sasuke out;
You squeal whenever you watch episode 202 and see that the number one favorite fight was between ur two favorite bishounen;
You almost fainted when Sasuke leaned over Naruto after the Valley of End…uh ended;
You go aww whenever Sasuke and Naruto have another one of their lover’s quarrels;
You hate having to wait for the fillers to be over; (where the hell is the timeskip!)
You pray with a little hope that Masashi Kishimoto would add some more SasuNaru hints in the timeskip;
Everyday u sit at the computer hoping that an idea for an great SasuNaru story would hit u soon;
You think that people that like couples such as SasuSaku and some others that are not SasuNaru XP should all go to the most horrible place in the world, hell for example;
You know that one day SasuNaru would rule the world!;
You love reading this reader’s profile (lol..);
You pray that somehow and someway Sakura would die somewhere along the timeskip;
You get mad every time Hinata trys to make a move on Naruto (yet u think its cute cuz Sasuke get jealous); (Shannaro!)
You wait for SasuxNaruislove to post new doujinshi’s;
You search deviantart more for SasuNaru then any other thing;
You decide that typing this up would help people understand why you love SasuNaru so much;
Your favorite colors are blue and orange (they are complimentary);
You feel like you wanna punch Sakura for even thinking about the word Sasuke;
You just wanna go and hug the little adorable Naru-chan and tell him he and Sasuke are so kawaii together;
SasuNaru is your Anti-drug;
You talk about it all the time and ur friends have no idea what SasuNaru is; (phew!)
You once tried to start a club at school; (and it didn't work out..)
Whenever you hear the word “sauce” you add a “sue nah roo” to the end and then shout "SASUNARU!" XDDDD;
You almost break ur computer after watching the episode where Sakura “touches” Sasuke to calm him down after using the Sharingan with the cursed mark;
You were just about to explode when Sasuke left Naruto alone at the Valley of End (did you cheat on him bastard! XD);
You cried at the flashbacks they played while at the Valley of End (grabs a tissue);
You like reading this long list and find it mildly amusing;
You have written 5 or more stories about them (guilty as charged);
You ignore other pairings and focus more on the “obsession”;
You put 20 or more pictures on ur ipod for later purposes :yaoi fan giggle:;
You try to convince some of ur close friends to like it; (sighs)
You wonder what ur mom and dad would say if they found out what “it” was;
You sigh as this list ends XD

I found the thing below on leyu02o.O wait leviathan02 too's profile:

If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you. (Underlined is ME!)

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser

I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

If you know someone that should be run over by a bus put this in your profile.

If you think that you are awesome, put this in your profile.

If you have called any of your friends insane, put this in your profile.

If you have called any of your friends insane more than once, put this in your profile.
If you are on the computer for over 20 hours a week, put this in your profile.
If you fear the men in white, put this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your asses off.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you laughed at any part of a movie that was not funny, then copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A- Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, SilverMoonArcher, forbiddesnkitsunegoddess13, anime-lover-8907, disturbed.l!ght

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher,forbiddenkitsunegoddess13, disturbed.l!ght are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile

If you are not one of those people who thinks having over 1 thousand friends on myspace is a contest copy this to your profile

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

.If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your pro.

If you or your driver have ever locked their keys inside the car copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading any kind of Yaoi, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

~~~~~~~~~~~~20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point your Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip! Rather Than Walk.

10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not "In The Mood."

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Whenever someone you don't particularly like, or even if you do, touches you, recoil and look at them disgustedly while screeching at the top of your lungs: "It Burns us! It Burns us!"

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

50 ways to amuse yourself on the phone with the Pizza Shop

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like... ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now?"
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

Paste this on your profile if you would ever do any of these things

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort: Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again

Started by Amanda Lack (stars_planets_clocks), and added to by countless others

OH NOES I UNDERLINED ALL MY FAVORITES! ...What?

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

36. Tell him you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'

52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.

106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.

107. ..at Christmas.

108. Make him dance in the rain with you.

109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.

110. "Accidentally" schedule him a haircut.

111. ..even though he's bald.

112. Be offended by everything he says.

113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

114. Invite him to go streaking.

115. Kill Harry.

116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

117. ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.

118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.

119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!"

121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.

122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.

And Itzika’s addition... 124. Read this list to him out loud. Make sure to do all the voices, motions, and sound effects and to laugh at appropriate intervals

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you; then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness - so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaima

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Fashion is a type of ugliness so intolerable, that we have to change it every 6 months.

Madness is like gravity... all it takes is a little... push.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

Sarcasm is one service I offer. Compassion costs extra.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings to poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Question: If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.

Why be difficult, when with just a littlebit of effort, you can be impossible.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather... not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

I am not a humanitarian. I'm a hell-raiser.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

They keep saying the right person will come along, but I think mine got hit by a truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.

Order is for the stupid; true geniuses live in chaos.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force!

Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run away! He really hates that!

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Confucius says: "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot!"

Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to go for the one I've never tried before.

Be kind to your offspring. They get to choose your nursing home.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comfortable.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Always remember - you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never visit a doctor who can't keep their office plants alive.

The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

I don't get even, I get odder.

Last night I played a blank tape full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If you can't baffle them with brilliance, befuddle them with bullshit.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and jump off it.

To some, death may be a blessing, to others, a vice. Me? I think death is a necessity.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a crib house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

"There are two infinites; the universe and human stupidity - and I'm not so sure of the former." -Albert Einstein

"It is better to reign in hell then serve in heaven." -John Milton

"Art is a bang, un!" -Deidara

"I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick." -Sticker

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver." -Shirt

"You shouldn't let you mind wonder. It's much too small to be out on its own." -Shirt

"If there is life on other planets, they must be using Earth as their insane asylum." -Unknown

"Oh my God, Dad, my friends are coming over, you're not allowed to speak to them.' ” -Neil Gaiman

“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.” -Unknown

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players (i.e. everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker, in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.” -Neil Gaiman

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." - Elayne Boosler

I took these quotes from Arashiyouko who apparently took these from many different profiles.

Even my issues have issues

WARNING talking to me may offend you

Remember Kids it’s “down the road” not “across the street.” Make it count

No trespassing; violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again

The next one of you fuckers that calls me innocent is going to get my “innocent” foot shoved up their ass

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter

Quoth the raven nevermore, motherfucker!

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced naked in the pouring rain

I shall rip out your heart and suck out your soul

If you don’t like me, FUCK YOU!

Take me now and fuck me later

The bass, the rock, the mike, the treble, I like my coffee black just like my metal

I’m going to amplify the rage

If I’m naughty will you spank me?

When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat you damn lemons

When life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt

When God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD

Sex is not the answer! Sex is the question, yes is the answer.

It’s ok to be ugly, but you’re pushing it

Yes I am, no you can’t watch

I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not

I play with fire and yet I don’t get burned, but this does not make me impervious to pain. I feel, I have a soul, but people don’t seem to care.

Fire consumes me and swallows me whole in every sense. It’s my shield, my protection from harm and helps me help others.

I'm going to make you my Wee-yotch!

Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking. If you lie, may you lie together. If you cheat, may you cheat the Devil. If you steal, may you steal each other’s hearts. And if you drink, may we all drink to your happiness.

Lookit! More random quotes~! This is from a story called 'freedom' by X5-549. It's a Harry Potter Story. Thank you author who bothered to put this at the bottom~!