Hi, I'm WarriorMaiden,

I'm in England, and I get picky about grammar and how to spell colour, so expect me to be English, it isn't going to change, not even when I'm writing American stories, the character's are just going to learn English and speak it for the duration of my stories. I'm a student, who hated english lessons, so I'm on Fanfiction, aren't I wierd? I listen to older music, eg Beatles, Mozart, etc., I don't watch TV, and I go to my Mum for fashion advice, so don't expect my stories to describe cloths in anymore detail than Twilight's Bella would understand (Note: I don't always listen to my mum, so don't worry). I can't think of anything else to tell you about me; wow, I'm a boring person. Oh yeah; I talk too much.

Imaginary prize for the people who can figure out what links the titles of my stories. (Not including Elysabeth Skywalker)

I wish I owned Star Wars and/or Twilight, but I don't. I can collect as much as I like and write as many fan fictions as I like and I still won't. This disclaimer is going here so it needn't go into every story.

Love Letters- Writer's block.

Elysabeth Skywalker- This is a collaboration with RhiannonAmidala (it's actually her story, I'm just helping to rewrite it(Curse of the PC)) We're making a shared account so you can find it at www.fanfiction.net/~ElysabethSkywalker, The updates are likely to be quite slow, but I really like this story, so they will keep coming.

Do I lie?-New story, this one's flowing more easily, so it'll probably get updated more frequently than Love Letters. However, my wonderful Beta, isn't doing much betaing, if you want me to update, go badger her, Jingles4thestorm.(sorry to go naming names, but it IS getting a little bit annoying now Jingles)

I don't usually like these things, but this one was just so funny;

-On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
-On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
-On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
-On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
-On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Too late! You lose!)
-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
-On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
-On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
-On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(One would hope.)
-On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
-On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now I'm a curious.)
-On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Someone got paid big bucks to write that one.)
-On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(Oh, go ahead. Ruin the American dream.)
-On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
-On a Korean Kitchen knife- "Do not put in children"
(Must have gotten lost in the translation...)

Go check out the Howling wolf awards, http://thehowlingwolfawards.webs.com/

And go enter stories, not necessarily mine, though I would be flattered.