FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| LaCasta |
Author has written 31 stories for Smallville. Since the real bio would be pretty boring, here's another.
LaCasta was born on a plane just as it was crossing the International Date Line, so she's never quite sure what day her birthday is. This confusion is typical of her life. At the age of five, her parents discovered that she was a child prodigy, though admittedly in the entirely useless field of designing highly aerodynamic feather dusters. At age seven, she acquired Most Favored Nation status though a bureaucratic snafu that was subsequently covered up by a special commission of wiener dog breeders. At twenty, she finally admitted that gravity is more or less a constant and that water in its liquid state is uniformly wet. She was arrested the next day for impersonating herself and forging her signature, though the case was thrown out of court. At thirty, she learned that bagels are not, in fact, sentient. This has caused her to look at life in a new and different way. Upon reaching the age of forty, she gave up lampshades as nightware and reverted to the use of alchemical texts as dessert trays, despite much concern from the local pharmacy sign repair firm. Her fiftieth birthday was somewhat marred by an out of body experience that resulted in several unexpected trips to Hungary in order to retrieve the magical amulet which her Uncle Prototype had carelessly left in a seedy pet shop in Amsterdam. When she was sixty, she finally reduced her attempts to play with the Hoover Dam to the minimum required by law. When her diary asked her what had happened, she answered "No comment," but tickled the CD-ROM meaningfully. Seventy brought about many changes in her life, since her habit of showing tulip bulbs to absolute strangers brought about a significant change in the price of twine, thus compromising her reputation as a firm advocate of asparagus rights. Nonetheless, she achieved stardom in the difficult field of toothpick guidance counseling. During her eightieth decade, she put an end to youthful nonsense on the part of the neighbors through pragmatic readings of the more unusual translations of 12th century French drinking songs. | |||||||
1. The JLA and the Siblings » reviewsUPDATED: Lionel gives Clark a choice. Usual disclaimer. AU: Clark and Lex raised as brothers, both now members of the JLA.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 30,278 - Reviews: 90 - Updated: 10-16-06 - Published: 10-15-022. The Smallville Cabinet » reviewsUPDATED: The head of DHHS watched the two animals cautiously. “Why are there a rat and a cat chasing one another down the hall?” House, the President's Epidemiology Advisor, attempted to look rueful. “Well, I tried to teach them volleyball, but they justSmallville - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 10,098 - Reviews: 103 - Updated: 2-18-06 - Published: 11-16-033. Reversals » reviewsUPDATED: Lionel is lost in memory while KalEl's mentor is displeased with events. AU. Greedy and unscrupulous!Kents, benevolent!Luthors, KalEl now rules the planet. Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,545 - Reviews: 46 - Updated: 1-30-06 - Published: 7-4-03 - Clark K. & Lionel L.4. First encounters » reviewsUPDATED: Chapter 19. Crossover. Prechip, preBuffy Spike thinks that he's going to have a very easy meal when he stops at a certain Kansas farmhouse. More early adventures of Toddler!Clark. Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 12,085 - Reviews: 123 - Updated: 11-27-05 - Published: 7-27-025. Jeeves comes through again » reviewsFINISHED. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Super Bertie Wooster! Returning to Smallville after rescuing Lex, Bertie and Jeeves end up entangled in events. Again. Very very AU for Exile. Crossover with Wodehouse. Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,521 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 8-20-05 - Published: 12-25-036. Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days » reviewsChapter 6: Martha Kent and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Take-off on the children's book. Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,164 - Reviews: 39 - Updated: 11-2-04 - Published: 1-15-047. The other fifty percent reviewsAU. Lionel and the Kents have to cope with Lex's severe brain damage. Spoilers for Asylum.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1-18-048. Oh to be in Kansas now that spring is here reviewsEmma is in the shower and Steed is bowled over. Crossover with The Avengers. Usual disclaimer. Unusual disclaimer: The diehard should stop gloating.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 298 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-10-049. Each man kills the thing he loves » reviewsClark wonders if now there's nothing to lose by telling Lana. Usual disclaimer. Title and chapter titles from The Ballad of Reading Goal (Wilde)Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,004 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 7-30-03 - Published: 6-8-0310. The Very Secret Diaries of Smallville » reviewsUPDATED: The Very Secret Diary of Dr. Helen Bryce. Concept based on Cassandra Claire's version for Lord of the Rings. Rated for multiple entendres. Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,543 - Reviews: 48 - Updated: 7-8-03 - Published: 11-3-0211. The Legend of the Fox's Paw reviewsFuturefic, mildly AU. Clark and Lex's friendship traces the path of a Japanese legend. Usual disclaimer. 1/1 (I think).Smallville - Rated: T - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-26-0312. Alien » reviewsAU. President Luthor and Vice-President Ross find a long-lost and traumatized Clark. CONCLUDED. Slash eventually (hey, last chapter counts!). Usual disclaimer applies.Smallville - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 18,348 - Reviews: 61 - Updated: 5-18-03 - Published: 3-29-0313. A whole wide world reviewsMind-picture ficlet AU of the scene where Clark put the disk in the cave wall. Usual disclaimer. Darkish but not graphic.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-21-0314. Full disclosure reviewsOne of Lex Luthor's presidential campaign advisors is traumatized by certain documents archiving certain events. Usual disclaimer applies.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 412 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-2-03 - Complete15. Truth, Justice, and the American Way » reviewsAU. Suppose that the Kents had put Clark in gov't hands? Usual disclaimer. Lana/Lex. CONCLUSION and final note.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 24 - Words: 21,839 - Reviews: 55 - Updated: 3-28-03 - Published: 9-7-0216. The heat is on, Jeeves » reviewsBertie Wooster returns to Smallville, just in time for the events of Heat. Bertie is kissed and sets out to do Desiree's bidding. COMPLETED. Usual disclaimer, and spoilers (of a kind) for Heat.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,034 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 3-2-03 - Published: 1-5-03 - Complete17. Ransom » reviewsClark disappeared three years ago. An embittered Lex gets a strange phone call. Futurefic. Usual disclaimer. COMPLETED.Smallville - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 30 - Words: 26,430 - Reviews: 85 - Updated: 1-20-03 - Published: 7-17-02 - Complete18. Lineage » reviewsAU. A child from the doomed planet Earth is sent to another world in hopes that he will survive. Usual disclaimer applies. CONTINUED. Jor-El and Lara's son Lir-El is told about his origins.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,598 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 11-3-02 - Published: 8-18-0219. Smallville Limericks reviewsWhat can I say? Nocturne (and an email conversation with joedan/Kathryn, during which I realized that Nietzsche and peachy rhyme) just brought out my inner tormented poet. Who in turn torments rhymes. Vicious cycle.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10-27-0220. A mother's guidance reviewsWhat if Lillian were the real source of Lex's darkness, modeling him on Napoleon? Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 883 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-16-02 - Complete21. Kid brother » reviewsWhat if somebody else had found Clark? Usual disclaimer applies. Clark and Lex settle into the JLA, but something really makes Clark blush. (Either epilogue or prologue, who knows?)Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 35 - Words: 31,184 - Reviews: 100 - Updated: 10-13-02 - Published: 3-1-0222. Challenges reviewsDarkish futurefic. Slash. Usual disclaimer. "Lex likes to challenge people." Superman accepts.Smallville - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 921 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9-26-0223. Passed Notes reviewsA series of passed notes. Chlark.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 512 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 8-17-0224. Regained » reviewsFuturefic. What happens when Lex traps Superman and decides to try recruiting him. Usual disclaimer. FINISHED. I thinkSmallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 13,269 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 8-3-02 - Published: 5-1-02 - Complete25. The Importance of Being in Smallville » reviewsAn Oscar Wilde crossover. Clark finds himself in a precarious romantic situation and asks his witticism-spouting friend Lord Lex for help. Usual disclaimer. UPDATED: Complete.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,225 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 7-14-02 - Published: 6-3-02 - Complete26. Bertie Wooster Returns to Smallville reviewsBertie, a leather jacket, and Nicodemus all meet. Usual disclaimer. CONCLUDED.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 822 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-29-0227. Him. » reviewsSo, is there another reason that Pete's suddenly vehement about hating Lex? Hmmm. Plex. (Male/male, folks). UPDATED. Chapter 2. Usual disclaimer. Still tame--plot, not steamy yet.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,466 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 6-8-0228. The Wooster Abroad in Smallville » reviewsCrossover with P.G. Wodehouse. Bertie Wooster visits Smallville. Just for fun. Usual disclaimer applies. Trust me, won't make sense unless you're familiar with the Wodehouse. (Might not anyway.) FINISHED. Spoiler for Hug.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,437 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 5-26-02 - Published: 5-25-0229. Happy holidays (yeah, right) reviewsThree disutopian and snarky possible scenarios as Clark/Lana, Clark/Lex, Clark/Chloe face Christmas together. (No idea why my brain popped up this one.) Usual disclaimer.Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 5-19-0230. Many ways to make Clark Kent blush--a WB ballad reviewsApologies to Paul Simon (though if I were repentant I wouldn't post). His song isn't mine either, so double disclaimer duty.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 245 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4-7-0231. Well, why not? reviewsA series of interviews on why Lex Luthor turned evil. Usual disclaimer applies. This really is a stand-alone, no followups!Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 373 - Reviews: 27 - Published: 3-30-02
