Author has written 33 stories for Black Cat, Danny Phantom, Pokémon, Rocket Power, iCarly, Parasyte/寄生獣, Misc. Movies, Ned's Declassified SSG, Full House, Wizards of Waverly Place, Death Note, Despicable Me, Animal Crossing, Franklin, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Fullmetal Alchemist, My Little Pony, Kid Icarus, Hotel Transylvania, Persona Series, Hunger Games, Megamind, and Spyro the Dragon.
Yo, I'm a manga reading, game playing, anime loving sexy single from PA . . . well I used to be. I'm still a gamer from the good ol' state of Pennsylvania, but I'm not really into anime and manga so much anymore. 'Twas more of a high school thing. I got a youtube, too, but unless you're into Pokemon battle videos (and not particularly skilled ones, either,) there's no reason to visit it. I put way more effort into my content here than on youtube.
Anyways, I have started writing fanfics, and they're all AWESOME =P Check 'em out if you're interested. By the way, some people inevitably say that I need help, or I'm sick. To them I say my fanfictions are the prime example of why you ought not to read too much into other people's writing. I'm not expressing myself here. These are mere jokes. I may find humor in odd places, but I don't put my true feelings into any of these. No one looks at my doodles as attempts at great art, so why would they look at my fanfictions as my attempts at great literature? Because, that's what my fanfictions are: written doodles. Not expression; not anything of the sort. I have never put a single one of my true emotions on the page, and I'd honestly be disgusted if most, if not any of my plots happened in real life. Ah well, sorry for the little rant.
So, what's my style, you ask? Well, what I most like to do is to take kid friendly TV, books, etc., and turn the adult themes up to eleven. Be it dark and bloody, or otherwise, I find great joy in creating stories that shatter the innocence and purity of the original source material. It's not that I limit myself to child friendly sources, but that's what I enjoy writing about the most. Now, will I ever write something serious? Well, never say "never," but it's not something I'm interested in doing right now.
So,that having been said, let's move on to my current stories. Usually I already give my opinion of what I wrote in an author's note at the end of all my stories, but in this section I plan to give my genuine opinions, but with the benefit of hindsight. I tend to update this after a few days or weeks of writing something. I see my flaws a bit more clearly, and I feel I can give a more accurate summary of quality. If you're interested, read on ahead. If not, there's nothing more to my profile besides that, so just skip onward to my stories.
- Black Cat: Enchanting his Eye. Please don't take this seriously. Just decided to make a joke for fun =P It's not even a well written joke. EDIT: I made a chapter 2. Go me? Meh, I still didn't put any effort into it, but it's better than chapter 1 . . . in the same way that getting third degree burns on your right arm is better than having said arm cut off. They both suck, but at least with the first you still keep your arm.
- Danny Phantom: Spectral Enchantment. Same deal as Enchanting his Eye. I wrote it as a joke, but the thing is, I was in high school when I wrote this (as well as Enchanting his Eye,) so my level of humor was something like " "LOL, gay jokes are the height of comedy. Guy-guy romance is so comedy gold, aint it?" Embarrassingly immature to me now, but I don't delete my stuff.
- Pokemon: The Greatest Pokemon Fanfic of All Time. I'm gonna come clean on this one. This isn't entirely my work. I co-wrote this with a friend of mine back in high school. The storyline was mine, and we both worked on the writing in some capacity, but much more of his stuff made it in, than mine. Now, he gave me full permission to put it up, I assure you of that, and he actually didn't want any credit, but I've always found it jarring how clearly different in style this is to everything else I have up here. Still, it's a masterpiece, and it'd be a crime to take it down.
- Rocket Power: Riding the Waves. I consider this my favorite erotic fanfic, actually. Obviously, not because it's so hot, but more because I find it so funny. To this day, even long after I've gotten past the "gay = funny" phase, this was just expertly done. A true masterpiece. Sure there are some mechanical mistakes, but I can't really think of a part that fell flat for me.
- iCarly: iKilled Freddy. My first of many iCarly fanfics. It was originally going to be serious, but it became a touch of a joke. Well . . . make that a complete joke. And actually, take out the "originally meant to be serious" part =P Seriously, I planned on the alien invasion and chainsaw bit from the beginning =P It's meh. Maybe takes a while to get going, and a lot of sentences were awkwardly written, but at the same time, with some of my other sentences, I was as on point as I've ever been. It's a mix of really good and really bad parts that ultimately makes a meh story.
- Parasyte: With your hand? Well, well, I never once expected to write this. I never thought I'd even touch this universe. It's a fanfic about Parasyte, which happens to be one of my favorite mangas, and one of the only two I own in entirety. Honestly, about a week after reading the series for the second or third time, I took a shower, which is actually how a good chunk of my inspiration starts =P In that shower I thought of this, had a good chuckle, and wrote it in little more than an hour. I don't hold this in high esteem. Maybe at the level of Spectral Enchantment, but it's at least the first thing I wrote in quite some time. It kind of marks my return in that sense =P
- iCarly: iLove My Brother? Basically another iCarly oneshot. I've written my share of Yaoi, so why not incest =P Meh. I have written fanfics I like better than this, but this is still passable. It's better than my earliest works, anyway that's for sure. Oddly, when I was writing it, I thought it needed to be shortened a tad, but looking back now, I should have beefed it up a bit. It lacked substance, and any downright funny lines. A shame, because I'd been planning on writing it for months, and I wouldn't want to do a sequel (and my epilogue killed all hope of that anyway =P) EDIT: I did do a sequel =P You can now disregard that "epilogue killed all hope of a sequel" bit =P
- iCarly: iDare You. hmm. I still prefer Riding the Waves to this one since it's just so hilarious, but this one is still among my favorite work. It's not constant humor like Riding the waves, but I threw some great lines in there that never cease to entertain me. So, it's one of my favorites =P But, in my eyes, I still have yet to surpass that Rocket Power fic =P I mean, I know my writing is better than it was at the time, but I just can't match that level of humor. EDIT: Chapter 2 was released, but it's ehh. I mean, reading it again, I think that chapter has the most on point jokes in the entire story, but it's also the longest chapter, and a lot of it's boring, and the entire beginning third is completely useless. It could have been cut entirely, and the chapter would be better for it. EDIT #2: I put out chapter 3, and I have really mixed feelings about it. I mean the beginning is way to slow, and unfunny, but when you break past that, the rest of it is just brilliant. This is the first time I ever considered editing and re-releasing a chapter just so I could remove that slow beginning. But, hey, I did put a couple jokes in there. Maybe I'm just being hard on myself? EDIT #4: Chapter 4 is out. I really like a lot of my jokes in this one. The beginning of the grocery store scene is just pure win in my mind. Let's see what y'all think.
- Milo and Otis: The Death of a Friendship. So I wrote a misc. fanfiction with no lemon . . . I can expect like 2 views a month. Ah, well, I'm glad I finished this one, but I'm pretty blah on it. It was way worse than it should have been. Beginning is awkwardly written, and it's never as silly as it wants to be.
- Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide: Massacre at James K. Polk. So, for some reason, this is my personal favorite work. Certainly not my best, but my favorite. No real humorous attempts here, just darkness. Still, I can't altogether call it serious either considering how over the top I went. Well, I say that, but the first bit of this fanfic isn't exactly overkill. I'm kind of just summing up "this person dies, then this person" etc. No really strong mental images or particularly gruesome kills. It feels like I'm going as quick as possible. Disappointing. I think it picks up at the end, though. But there is one line that I can't believe I didn't catch. Seriously, it made me lose all confidence in my intellectual ability. Moze finds heavy machinery in a janitor's closet. I kid you not, I wrote that. What was I thinking? Ugh.
- Full House: The Night Before. Well, there we have it. A murder fic about everyone's least favorite 80s sitcom, Full House. You know, I didn't intend from the beginning for this to be a murder fic. It just took on a life of its own, and I ran with it. Personally, I like this one a lot. 'Course, the one part that bothers me is the beginning. Not spoiling anything, but alcohol induced memory loss was originally an intended plot point. Mid story, I decided I really didn't want to have my character all that drunk, so I changed it to a more psychological memory repression. The problem is, I did a bad job of editing what was already written, and the original intent shines through, and makes a lot more sense than what I actually went with to boot. It's not a too too major plot point, but it is a glaring flaw with the opening half.
- iCarly: iHave a Girlfriend. Nothing more than a quick low effort iCarly Yuri . . . with one of my signature twists. I've given it a few days to let my opinion form, and honestly, there still isn't a lot I can say about this one. It's unremarkable. If I ranked each sentence on a scale of 1-10, it's unlikely I would ever go below 4 or above 6. I don't hate it, but I certainly don't hold it on a very high pedestal either. If you're desperate to read a new yuri, and don't mind the rules of anatomy being played with a bit . . .
- Wizards of Waverly Place: One Spell Too Far. You know, I wish I had held off writing this until I was inspired. I had no more than one sentence written for months, and finally just decided to put it out there so I didn't have to think about it anymore. The result is mostly dull and awkwardly written. I especially regret it, because if I had known this would get as many hits as it did, I'd have been sure to put more effort in to it. I guess this should be a lesson to me to not write something just to put it out there.
- Death Note: She Found Out. So, this one's kind of interesting in that it's the first fanfic I wrote that's a comedy not just because I thought it was funny in my strange little way, but because it was actually a calculated parody. It's a parody of all those fanfics where the author thinks they know Japanese. Of course, if you asked them to actually write an entire story in Japanese, chances are they couldn't do it, but they like to show off their (limited) Japanese vocabulary, and make note of the fact that they know how an honorific works. I make no effort to hide the fact that I hate it when I see even a trace of Japanese in an English fanfic. I think using Japanese is nothing but a barrier to my enjoyment of your writing and, needless to say, it adds nothing of value either. So, since it's a pet peeve of mine, I decided to parody the style. I'm mostly happy with the result, but it's clumsily written even considering what I'm parodying. Most side jokes fall flat, and it starts slow, too.
- Despicable Me/Megamind Crossover: The Villain's Code. I was gonna call this one Despicable MEgamind, and in fact, I originally uploaded it under that title. It was kind of my placeholder, but I had a strange attraction to it. Still, I changed it so it sounded at least a little professional . . . as professional as a fanfiction wrote over the course of a day, numbering under 2000 words can be anyway =P Sadly, this fanfic holds the dishonor of being my personal least favorite work. Nothing redeems it whatsoever. I beg you, don't use this as a scale to judge the rest of my work by.
- Animal Crossing: Crossing the Line. I don't know why, but I love this baby. It's not very "me" tough. I have an almost trademark way of describing my kills in these fanfics, but this one's entirely different. The story is more told as a panicked inner monologue rather than by a disconnected narrator. I think the style really works, though, and there's even a couple jokes in there that oughta make any Animal Crossing player chuckle. So, yep, after a string of underwhelming work, this finally arrives: a fanfic I feel proud of. About time.
- iCarly: iWill Always Love You. So, this story is an extended version of the epilogue to "iLove My Brother?". It starts out a little slow and boring, but it gets pretty funny in the second half, if I do say so myself =P It's kind of average quality for me. Certainly not one of my few exceptionally good stories like Riding the Waves, Crossing the Line, or the first chapter of iDare You, but it's still better than a good chunk of the stuff I put out.
- iCarly: iTurn Eighteen. You can just tell from the title that this'll be mindless smut =P I dunno, this story is just boring. How's the dialogue? Boring. How's the lemon? Boring. How're the jokes? It's all boring. I kinda like the line at the end, though. That almost makes up for it, but chances are I'd have lost you long ago, anyway. Honestly, this is a prime example of a story that was put out there way too soon. That ending joke was actually the first thing I thought of for this story, but instead of saving it until I got more inspiration, or using it in another fanfic, I just decided "hey, that idea made me chuckle a bit. Better hurry and use an entire story to build up to it." Not smart, self. Remember to only write when I'm really really inspired.
- Franklin: Bear's Bad Day. Can you believe I wrote the first Franklin fanfic on the whole site? Well, actually I didn't. When I first uploaded this, it didn't show any other Franklin stories so I thought I was first, but I guess the site was just glitchy, 'cause there's one from '09 that came before mine. Honestly, though, I hate Franklin. My little sister always wanted to watch it when we were kids even though I wanted to watch better shows =P We'd always fight over Franklin, and over time, I grew to hate it. Strange how I actually decided to write about it years later =P
- Series of Unfortunate Events: Back With the Count. I, uh . . . actually don't remember this one much. I mean, I remember the basic plot, if you could even call any of my story lines that, but I don't remember any details, honestly. I'd go back and read it, but every time I think to do that, I shrug and kinda go "I don't really want to read that one again." What that should tell me is that this story is unremarkable in every way, but I know that can't be the case because everything I write is pure quality =P
- iCarly: iSuck. It's a quick little joke that hopefully comes right out of left field for you. It's not exactly in my usual style, but not everything I write has to be =P I think it's alright though, when you aren't expecting it at least.
- iCarly: iHave the Power. I always shout this title aloud like I'm He-Man when I read it =P This story has no plot. Just sexy, sexy mind controlled rape. Well, that's what I'm going for, anyway. Just sit back and indulge yourself =P Hopefully I manage to add some humor =P Truthfully, I consider this almost the counterpoint to iDare yYou. While, at least for the current chapters, iDare You is a comedy first and a porn second, this story is the opposite. While there are some nice jokes, it's mostly a mind control fantasy, and uses that element to its fullest. Being honest, I think chapter 2 is the story's high point, and since then it's steadily going downhill.
- Fullmetal Alchemist: The Alternative. A story I wrote very quickly, but I still think is one of my funnier ones. Came up with this baby while watching the anime for the first time, and every single episode, I found myself thinking how silly it'd be if our main character acted this way. You see, in the real series the brotherly bond between our two main characters is stronger than anything. In this world, our primary main character is chomping at the bit to get rid of his bro in the most painful way possible. Really, there's now way to do it justice other than to read it, so go do that. It's not a long read =P
- iCarly: iLose a Friend. What to say about this one. I just wrote this story quick and decided to just write whatever came into my head. As you can see, I curse like a sailor, because about the only standout thing about this story is how often I curse in it =P This is one of those "written in under an hour" stories, so it's not very long or well written, but . . . uh . . . but . . . nothing. It just aint that good =P
- My Little Pony: Her Mistake. Yikes! I didn't expect to get a reaction like that out of this. So, I wrote this tiny little trollfic in less than an hour, and it's not even a thousand words. From previous experience, stories like that get maybe 1 or 2 reviews, but this one got triple that in just a few hours, and I gotta say, some bronies have hairpin sensitivity. Not sayin' all, but the fact that this fandom reacted so much worse to a simple trollfic than any other universe is perhaps a little telling. EDIT: I wasn't giving My Little Pony fans enough credit at all. For as bad as the backlash was, it was quick, and most people came to an understanding after we talked about it. A certain other group out there took a joke way worse than these guys, and I have to apologize to the bronies. You're still freakin' annoying sometimes, but you're not as bad as I thought. So, then, back to the discussion, what are my personal thoughts on this one? I think for what it is, it's kinda funny, but I'm also disappointed by how much more it could have been. My last big torture/death fic was Bear's Bad Day, and that was almost half a year ago. This could have been prime time to write a new one, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
- Kid Icarus: Pit's Reward. I dunno about this one. What can I say? It's maybe a little bland, but I think it has some charm, and I certainly laughed while writing it. I think the best thing about this story is how it's actually in character, at least somewhat. It's at least more in character than my iCarly fanfics, where its been so long since I watched the show that I scarcely remember what the characters were even supposed to be. Anyway, this story's kinda silly, and I like the twist at the end, but aside from that, there isn't a lot memorable about it.
- iCarly: iHave a Child. I forgot I wrote this. Seriously, it's that forgettable. You see, I wrote a good deal of very short very stupid stories like this in a notebook, but (thankfully) never bothered to put most of them in the computer. Maybe some day you'll see the rest, though. Forgettable as they are, I still really enjoy how intentionally bad these plots are, and they're always worth a quick laugh.
- Hotel Transylvania: A Midnight Request. Man, I still remember the night I saw this movie, I stayed up 'til like 4 AM with the writing itch. My opinion looking back is meh. Though a few of my segments were pretty well done, I can think of a good number of lines that were just amateur. This is one of those stories that could really benefit from a good editing job, but too late now. Too bad I'm in the habit of posting things hot off the presses if you will.
- The Hunger Games: These Games are Hungry. So, you know how in the "iHave a Child" summary, I mention how I wrote a series of objectively terrible stories, and then never put them up? Well, I put them up. This story, to me, is really silly, but objectively it sucks big time. That is, of course, what I was going for, but unless you like trollish stories, I find it hard to recommend. I do, particularly enjoy the blatant sexism, and the fact that, as someone who never read the book(s?) or watched the film, I couldn't even hope to get the characters right.
- Persona 3: A New Persona. This is probably the best "intentionally bad" thing I ever wrote. The jokes work, the unprofessionalism is so apparent, and it's perfectly cliche'd. Plus, it doesn't have to rely on the "My Immortal" style to do it, if you know what I mean. The one unfortunate thing about it is how the second chapter ends, but I go into that in the story anyway. For as technically awful as this is, I still like this one.
To date, I have one deleted work. An iCarly fanfic entitled iNeed You Now. What it was was pretty run of the mill for me. I spend the beginning establishing it as a cutesy little romance, but suddenly one of the characters snaps, and beats the other to near death. Just a silly betrayal of expectations that I felt was mostly harmless . . . oh how wrong I was. The backlash was insane. You see, I enticed people in by marketing it as a Seddie story, but Seddie shippers were none to pleased. To digress for just a sec', my opinions on that romance are that it's horsecrap. Overrated and overdone, and I don't know what iCarly fans see in it, but what do I know? I haven't watched the show in years. But, anyway, I enticed people in saying it was Seddie fluff, but it blindsides you with an unexpected and, in this case, dark turn. That's something I really enjoy doing and have been doing for some time, my strongest examples being Bear's Bad Day, Pit's Reward and iSuck, but I suppose I'm just notoriously bad at knowing when I'm about to strike a nerve, because Seddie fans flew into an uproar. Many claimed they were offended, as if me not respecting their romance of choice was akin to me insulting them personally. Some threatened to have me reported even though I followed all the sites rules. Others were just pissed off, and decided to just hurl insults my way. Now, I was ok to deal with all that. After all, I've left plenty of negative reviews of my own, and I'm not gonna dish it out if I can't take it, but eventually, the reviews section just turned to plain ol' trolling, and I decided by that point it was easier to just delete the story entirely. It goes against my everything in me, but I was just sick of the BS, and sick of my inbox getting cluttered. You can still find the story out there on an alt account, but it's not here any more.
Unsafe External Link