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Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Parodies and Spoofs. I was previously known as beckyluvsonetreehill08 Started watching Naruto, its pretty cool :D My name is Becky I am obsessed with all things weird i believe that all the mysterious creatures are real and i love vampires!! they DO exist!!:Di'll prove it some day!! I'm 16 and I'm a total tv addict I live in... WAIT!! why do you wanna know stalker lol my hero is Michael Collins, he is the greatest man who ever lived :D I LOVE Veronica Mars, One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Charmed, Buffy The Vampire Slayer and anything else with vampires, oh and moonlight and Bones!!and skins, Roswell, Dollhouse, Chuck.Death Note and Bleach, Vampire Knight, Code Geass!! :D Lovely Complex, Itazura na Kiss, Special A!Bokura Ga Ita! Naruto :D My favourite book is Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte and i also love Pursuasion and anything else from Jane Austen BOOKS I LOVE ARE: Twilight,The Wardstone Chronicles, Harry Potter and CITY OF BONES, CITY OF ASHES, CITY OF GLASS and BLEACH, Death Note and Fruits Basket,Vampire Knight, House of Night series and many more Favourite bands and music: Snow Patrol, The Killers, MGMT, Panic at the Disco, Scouting for Girls, The Ting Tings, Muse, The Kooks, The Kings of Leon, The Script, Lady Gaga, Queen and Oasis.Cobra Starship, Travis, Jimmy Eat World, The Get Up Kids, The Fray. TV/Anime SHIPS I LOVE: Chuck/Blair Lucas/Peyton (they are EPIC! True Love Always) Veronica/Logan (it was all in that last look) Brennan/Booth (its Going to happen any day now) Buffy/Angel (to hell with Cordelia and spike) Leo/Piper Cole/Phoebe Max/Tess (i know she killed alex but it was an accident) Chris kellar/peyton( this is a new one fanfic has introduced me too but pris are sooo cute lol) Chuck/sarah(season 2 finale was, so cute, damn orion for interupting their dance, kristen kreuk and that other actor better not mess them up!) Ichiruki C.C a.k.a C2/Lelouch (wow these two where epic, i thought they were gonna kiss in the ep24 of r2 but then stupid karen shot through the wall ) Yahiro/Megumi(aww so kawai!) Kei/Hikari (love them!) Sakura/Jun(jun is so cute with her, when he's not being annoying and running away lol) Tadashi/Akira (awwwww they were just awwww) Take/Nana (only cause it'd make him happy she doesn't deserve him) Yano/Nana(they have their moments but i prefer Take to Yano) Yano/nana-san (dead one, they seemed cute :D) BOOK SHIPS I LOVE: Edward/Bella Harry/Ginny Hermione/Ron Tom/Alice (I read the spooks sacrifice and all i can say is, TAKE THAT Gregory!! now you CAN'T separate them!!" Clary/Jace (YAY!! dreams do come true "sob") Ichiruki (ichigo x rukia) to hell with orhime Misa x Light :D Zoey/Stark (he's so cool just like Jace lol) Take/Nana and many many more... TV SHIPS I HATE: Nate/Blair (die Nate die die die i HATE him Chuck and Blair forever!! die Nate! hes such a moany ass) Chuck/jill/anyone else except sarah) Sarah/Bryce/cole/anyone other than chuck lol(i despise Bryce though, so happy he's dead) Chuck/Vanessa Brooke/Lucas( DON'T even SAY it!) Veronica/Duncan (he's a robot) Veronica/Piz (like seriously wtf) Brennan/anyone other than Booth Booth/anyone other than Brennan Ichigo/orhime "shiver" BOOK SHIPS I HATE: Bella/Jacob (I HATE him so MUCH) Harry/Hermione (it was NEVER gonna happen!) Weasley/Weasley (not molly/arthur obvously but the rest, i came across a ron/ginny one beore and almost puked and it was just from reading the reviewy thingy) Clary/Simon Zoey/Erik (overpossessive freak) Yano/Yamamoto (WTF IS WITH THAT!) 96 percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile. If you're a die-hard IchiRuki lover for life copy and paste this into your profile- Ichiruki lovers unite!! ~JOIN THE ICHIRUKI PARADE~ SPREAD LOVE THE ICHIRUKI WAY. If you believe that Ichigo and Rukia are meant for each other, paste this in your profile. If you believe that Black Sun is meant for White Moon, paste this in your profile. If you believe that Rukia belongs to Ichigo and Ichigo belongs to Rukia, paste this in your profile. If you believe that they are perfect for each other, paste this in your profile. If you believe that they love each other, paste this is your profile. If you do not believe in IchiHime, paste this in your profile. If you hate IchiHime, paste this in your profile. If you believe that IchiRuki shall prevail, paste this in your profile. IF YOU LOVE ICHIRUKI, PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE! ~ICHIRUKI IS LOVE. BITTER OR SWEET, IT SCREAMS: LOVE!~ If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile. If you watch Code Geass almost religiously, paste this to your profile. If you think that C.C. and Lelouch should just admit that they love each other, paste this to your profile. If you think that C.C. should admit that Kallen was right about her loving Lelouch, paste this to your profile. If you think that Kallen should burn further for interrupting Lelouch and C.C.'s possibly tender moment in CG R2 episode 24, paste this to your profile. (personally i think kallen is a cool character but god that was the worst timing ever!!) If you do not fear death, but rather what comes after, paste this to your profile. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that put it in your profile If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123, snow in my coco, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver, Dark Jasmine, Beckyluvsonetreehill08 If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride),TwilightNatalia(I had a crush on Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist for like 3 days then I got over it, if that counts), vampirechick123 (Edwrad cullen...even though he is real) snow in my coco (Edward cullen. Sexier than you! and all mine...I wish. I refuse to believe he isn't real.), Pepa333(Draco Malfoy, Edward Cullen, Damon Salvatore), SlytherinLuver(Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Tom Riddle, Edward Cullen) Dark Jasmine (Draco Malfoy: evil and sexy & Edward Cullen: Sexy),Beckyluvsonetreehill08(Edward!!and Ron and Fred and Jasper) If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Mysterious Miracle, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, Alicegirl, Zandylion, Nightmare and Dream, vampirechick123, snow in my coco, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver, Dark Jamine, Beckyluvsonetreehill08 If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...) Darkecogir (I done it a couple a times)Tora-kun126(sideways, backwards, forwards, up, down, over, and underneath. I've done it all) DiRtY BuBbLe (more than I fall down them, and, also, I cannot figure out how to walk in a straight line ...any ideas?) HollyluvsArty, Super Reader (unfortunatly yes. All the time.)scarily obsessed(i burst a blood vessel in my ankle!owww!),TwilightNatalia(I've fallen up them, down them, around them...you name the direction and I'm sure I've managed it at least once!) vampirechick321, snow in my coco ( falling up is worse than falling down =( TRY IT!!), Pepa333 (I'd rather not talk about it...),SlytherinLuver(it waz very painful but not az bad az falling down stairs) Dark Jamine (I don't even know how it's possible. It defys gravity,Beckyluvsonetreehill08(happens every time i go upstairs!!) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you baka (chinese for idiot)! Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. This poem is just heartbreaking If you're against abortion, re-post this Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!. Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF! You know you live in 2008 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. If you have ever tried to go into the backyard and ran into the glass door that you didn't see, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you get really good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Reader128, Lady Prince, LilyScorpius, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver,Beckyluvsonetreehill08 If you or your best friend is completely insane, copy and paste this onto your profile. A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!! more heartbreaking poems coming up i'm afraid :( Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Remeber I DID NOT write this, it is from someone else, but please, pick the right choice My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help Sickens me top the soul, And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE Please pass it on. True Poem Bout Actual Child Abuse Her dad waz a drunk Her mom waz an addict Her parents kept her locked in an attic Her only friend waz a little toy bear It waz old and worn out And had patches of hair She alwayz talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endore A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be in such a terrible place? But she grabs her bear And she softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "God, why? Why iz my life always sinking?" Such a bad life For a sad little girl She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child waz hit and slapped As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It waz sharp and pointy One that she made She thrust the blade Right in her chest "You deserve to die you worthless pest!" The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed for her bear And started crying Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything waz az quiet az a mouse One officer slowly Opened the door To find the sad little girl Lying dead on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms If you disapprove of child abuse, put this on your profile I'm smiling. That alone should scare you." "I have the kind of friends that if my house waz burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen." Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts 145. It is not necessary to yell “BURN” every time Snape takes a point from Gryffindor. 119. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean. 93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”. 93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”. 75. I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.” 64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times. 58. I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting. 50. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me. 48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?” 14. I will not tell Draco and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight. "I will not make any jokes about LUPIN and 'his time of the month'." So You Want to Be a Death Eater..Your guide to everything evil!This list may contain spoilers! Greetings, new follower: If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them. Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorise and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing). The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly. Yours in infamy, Lord Voldemort Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating. World peace To conquer the world This statement is a lie. List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters: (Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.) Long Black Robes (Casual) Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch). Coffin Recommended Reading: Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk. Death Eater Rules: No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore. Frequently Asked Questions: What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me? As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include: Being slowly eaten by a manticore. What should I do if I decide to leave the organization? Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible. (See above) What is the salary like? You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed. Does the Dark Mark hurt? Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp? Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment? No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question. But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.) Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters? You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem. Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort? Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior. What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy? This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it. The Death Eater Anthem (to be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly. Who lurk beneath the undergrowth? Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us. However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord: Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice. Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them. If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.) Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once). Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private. If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke. Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be. Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously. Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater. Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof. Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway. Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming. Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors). Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc. Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.) I needed a condom because i smoke crack(goes with the following..don't ask, its not true for the record:)) 1(Jan) - I shot Pick the day (number) you were born on... 01 - a rock star Pick the color of shirt you are wearing... White - because im sexy like that YOU ONLY HAVE 3 MINUTES AND 69 SECONDS TO REPOST THIS AS WHATEVER YOUR RESULTS WERE OR YOU WILL HAVE BAD RELATIONS OR NO RELATIONS AND THAT WOULDN'T MAKE LIFE VERY FUN! SO GO Smile... People will think you're up to something. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. I'm not weird, I'm gifted. All I want in life is peace, love, happiness, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head! I dream of world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned. Is it wrong that we give guys codenames so that they don't know we are talking about them? I have to watch what I say around my friends, or else it may be turned into something perverted. Friends stab you in the back, Boyfriends stab you in the heart, but Best friends don't carry knives. If Edward is an angel, and angels were created by God, does that make Carlisle God? I smiled because I have no idea what's going on! Paste these to your profile!! Tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN Pulled the door when it says push Ever walked into a wall b4 And/or Fell off a chair backwards If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you've ever pulled on a door that said push or vice versa, copy and paste this into you profile. These poems all make me want to cry, especially when i think about how there are children out there in this position, the above poems make me sad too :( My name is Chris. I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't do a wrong I can't speak at all Or else I'm locked up All day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe i'll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He's already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is Chris I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me. If you think child abuse is wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever started laughing at something that is remotely funny and can't stop copy and paste this in your profile If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you are against Animal Abuse add your name to the list and add it to your profile or site. RogueWarrior869,BlackWolfHowling, Bubble Blower, roughdiamond5, Green.Winged.Mistress, Bellaness, -Aikio-Hatate-,crimson angel3579, Stargazer-Look4Me,Beckyluvsonetreehill08 If the Jonas Brothers said breathing wasn't cool 95 of girls would be dead. If you would be part of the 5 who'd laugh their ass off at them, copy this into your profile. If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro! If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. Girls are like If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, Kyo Rox My Sox, Kyki the Late Night Writer, Princess-Goth, KittyKLL, Musiclover101twilight411, Stargazer-Look4Me,Beckyluvsonetreehill08, If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! Come to the Dark side we have cookies! Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, cursed, or both. It's funny until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious! Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. All the good ones are either gay, married, taken, or fictional characters in books or movies. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?" A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES ONLY TALK TO ME!! Admitting you're weird means you're normal. Saying that you're normal is odd. I admit i'm weird! A girl asked a guy if she was pretty; he said no. She asked him if he wanted her; he said no. She asked him if she left would he cry; he said no. She turned to leave. He grabbed her arm and said, 'You're not pretty, you're beautiful. And I don't want you, I need you. And I wouldn't cry if you left; I would die'. The statistics on insanity are that 1 out of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. You cry I cry,You laugh I laugh,You jump off a cliff I laugh harder" My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Sticks and stones are hard on bones, aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything, but it's silence that breaks hearts. Why is it when we're talking to God, we're praying, but whenever God talks to us, we're crazy? They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. At first I wondered why God made you, the I realized even God makes mistakes. A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days". A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!" A good friend picks you up when you fall. A best friend picks you up and then trips you again. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friendhas never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, and were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE 2. My mother taught me RELIGION 3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL 4. My mother taught me LOGIC 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT 7. My mother taught me IRONY 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA 11. My mother taught me WEATHER 12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY 13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION 15. My mother taught me: ENVY 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION 17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING 18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE 19. My mother taught me: ESP 20. My mother taught me: HUMOR 21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT 22.My Mother taught me: Genetics 23. My Mother taught me about my Roots 24. My Mother taught me Wisdom 25. My mother taught me about Justice 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. If you don't have a boyfriend, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. I agree when people say girls rule now and 4ever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile. If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his friends, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER! WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE: A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl:Slow down, I'm scared! Guy:No, this is fun. Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy:Then tell me you love me. Girl:I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love. He gave her 12 roses, 11 real, and 1 fake, and said "I will love you until the last rose dies. Love is like a cookie. Take the cookie out of the oven too soon, and youre screwed. Eat the cookie too soon, and you burn your self. If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile. If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. If you have a scary crush on a book character, T.V character or game character copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes copy and paste this into your profile. (yeah i once walked half way home before i realised it and had no memory of the journey!) If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the hell of it copy and paste this into your profile.Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer: "Where to begin?" If you have ever said something and then two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this into your profile. If miss out random words accidently in sentences, copy paste this into profile. If you're against animal cruelty copy and paste this into your profile. If you're against real fur on clothing copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever looked all over the house for something that was in your hand the whole time copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe in magic, copy and paste this into your profile. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy" Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright. As often as possible, skip rather than walk Specify that your drive-through order is "to go" Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!" Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. Copy and Paste: Did you know... kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted. Something everyone should remember: Emmett is the strongest. Edward is the fastest.But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous. I keep trying to kidnap Jasper but every time I try Alice is at his window with a bat waiting for me. How does she kn- oh...right Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too Never drink water-if it can rust iron, just imagine what it can do to your stomach I don’t mind if you sleep in class, but please do not snore, you are disrupting those who are sleeping if nobody’s perfect I must be nobody Remember there is no I in team, but there is an M and an E I don't talk on the phone because I hear voices on the other end... One day, I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks. "If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people" To put it nicely, I hope you choke I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn I'm not insensitive, I just don't care "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target." I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away. I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it. When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked, or homeless? In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain. You said you couldn't stand to see my heart break . . . so when you broke it, did you close your eyes and fall? Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Perfect men are only fictional. (Sigh, Fang, Edward) Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. Boys are like slinkys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it? When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back. You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did. Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying "You will die in seven days!" Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought A smile is the shortest distance between two people. Tell the truth and run. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that! It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind, but not my brain I need that. "I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." I’m a palm reader: Gasp! You'll die, but don't worry. You'll live through it. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. I worry about you some days. Hug trees. They have less issues than people.' 'You wanna know what you get, in our experience, when you tell the world the truth? A straight jacket. Or a punch in the face. Sometimes both.' 'If there's a fifty/fifty chance that something will go wrong, nine times out of ten it will.' 'I reject your reality and substitute my own.' 'Don't think there are no crocodiles just because the water is calm.' 'Curiosity killed the mutant bird kid.' ( i don't get this one but it was kinda funny so whatever, is it maximum ride?) 'Cuz I'm so tired of actin tough and I'm gonna do what I please.' Don't frown, even when your sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile. "I can promise you two things. One, I will always look this good and two, I'll never give up on you." When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. If God intended for man to smoke, He would have set him on fire. Education is important; school however, is another matter. If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? No ones perfect… well there was this one Guy but we killed him If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it. If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT EDWARD CULLEN Common sense is the most uncommon thing in the world. Fear is a good thing; it means you're paying attention. Blind terror can easily pass as courage in a fight. Never look back, never regret, never remember the people you've met, never begin and never end, never say never when it comes to a friend. There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it... A critic is a legless man who teaches running Stress: A condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'? My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage. If I won't be myself, who will? I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. A Gryffindor will jump off a cliff. I do think rock paper scissors solves everything. "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together. If you don't want to hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon. If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth. Two wrongs don't make a right, but one right and one left make a light. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something Join the Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them Don’t mess with me I've got a stick NO TRESPASSING Violators will be shot; Survivors will be shot again I thought I was stupid, before I met you Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust? Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later. Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' They are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons! When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say. When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us! You're intoxicated by my very presence I ran with scissors and lived! When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. -Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." When there's a will, I want to be in it. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! I don't obsess! I think intensely. It's funny until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious! Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia. I intend to live forever. So far, so good...(I thought I was dead) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.' A day without sunshine is...night. When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire. Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. I have the cape I make the whoosh noises. When i walk past an automatic door and it opens for me, i worry that if i dont go through it, i might hurt its feelings Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. How do you feel now? If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. there are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't. "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton Ever stop to think and forget to start again? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?? Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom? Can mute people burp? What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? You know you live in 2008 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or account on FF.Net. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.” -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On a fireplace lighter. "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." (but not normal mice)-- On a box of rat poison. "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally’s commercial that described how their burgers were fresh. "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.Murphy's laws: I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Girl: What's wrong? Boy: I like her so much... Girl: Talk to her! Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me. Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing. Boy: I just want her to know how I feel. Girl: Then tell her. Boy: She won't like me... Girl: How do you know that? Boy: I can just tell. Girl: Well just tell her. Boy: What should I say? Girl: Tell her how much you like her! Boy: I tell her that daily. Girl: What do you mean? Boy: I'm always with her. I love her. Girl: I know how you fee l. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me... Boy: Wait. Who do you like? Girl: Oh some boy. Boy: Oh... she won't like me either. Girl: She does. Boy: How do you know..? Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you? Boy: You. Girl: You're wrong, I love you. Boy: I love you too. Girl: So are you going to talk to her? Boy: I just did. I'm a strong girl; i keep my problems behind me even with tears streaming down my face i still manage to say "i'm fine" It's hard to watch people change right in front of you. But the worst part is remembering who they used to be... In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down. Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you, & to make you into the person you were meant to be. Sometimes you just have to jump off the bridge and hope you learn how to fly on the way down. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Help I've fallen and i can’t...hey nice carpet! Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. The spontaneous rally will began at 1:45 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life! Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality. Lifes Tough, get a helmet The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers? Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you. I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking? How come you never see the news story Psychic Wins Lottery? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s HILARIOUS! Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobia - Fear of long words. I got a lot of ideas. The problem is that most of them suck. Last night, as I lay in bed pondering the stars. I thought to myself, Where the heck did the ceiling go? Don’t worry, they can’t hit us from this fa... -last words of a Civil war general ERROR: Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried nailing Jello to a tree According to a recent survey, 3/4 of people makes up 75 of the population. If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. We're not lost. We're locationally challenged. If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? It takes 47 muscles to frown and 13 to smile, but it takes 0 to sit there with a dumb look on your face. The inventor of Crest Toothpaste passed away. Four out of five dentists went to his funeral. Anyone who uses the phrase easy as taking candy from a baby has never tried taking candy from a baby. You live and learn. At any rate, you live. I gave up junk food. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life. Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better. There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? It matters not whether you win or lose- what matters is whether I win or lose. I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Employee of the Month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you- but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. I had my car towed. There was nothing wrong with it- it was just cheaper than gas. Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid. If you have any problem with this profile, write it on the back of a 20 bill and send it to me. It’s great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who’s bald. I’m not a geek – I’m a level 12 paladin! You can buy a gun at Wal-Mart, but your 4th of July sparklers have to be smuggled through the state line. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. If victory is too high to climb, take the elevator. I'm not paranoid...WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Evening news is where they begin with Good Evening and then proceed to tell you why it isn't I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later sometimes when im alone in a room I like to say, “I know you’re listening” because if im wrong then no one heard but if im right then I just freaked the heck out of some secret organization YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?') When you talk to yourself often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone’s liver?') After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And Finally, the one way to tell if your a good writer: You failed English 101! (copy that into you're profile (and highlight the ones you fit) if you fit one or more of the descriptions) Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work: 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm AGNOSTIC so I MUST think everyone else believes in the wrong thing I'm American so i MUST be obese, loudmouthed and arrogant. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your head repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. ~98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. ~Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! ~Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile. ~If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile ~If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl,purplenekomata,gorgoeus'moth, LithiumRukia, Vbaby22,cHiiBiiRuKiia, DanceOfTheWhiteMoon, Beckyluvsonetreehill08 ~...:Are you an Ichigo Fangirl:... ~ "FUUDDGGEEE!!" ...I like apples. If you like being random copy and paste this in your profile. ~ If you have/had a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character, then copy and post this into your profile. ~ If you sometimes look at a ad/pamphlet/brochure/etc, point and go, "Aha! A grammar mistake!" copy and paste this in your profile. ~ If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this to your profile and add your name: I-P-O, Kilala26, Konnichiwa Minna, Kin756894, Alice001, ChibiKitty14, cHiiBiiRuKiia, DanceOfTheWhiteMoon, Beckyluvsonetreehill08 ~If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile If you've ever had a conversation with someone else in your head, then suddenly started talking to them out loud, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should spontaneously combust, burn to death in a fire, be fed to hungry lions, or die any other form of painful death, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile. You have said something you were thinking out loud without knowing, copy this into your profile. If you love your LAPTOP, copy this and post it on your profile. If you've just realized that copying and posting things on your profile is completely pointless, yet you do it anyways, then copy this and post it on your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile. If you're a chocoholic, you know what to do. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet (or dead silent) room, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever fallen off your chair, put this in your profile. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the FUCK is my ceiling?!( one of my mates told me that one lol) The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body. Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong. Life is an onslought of difficult problems, and the ones who find the correct answers get to survive. (findor on bleach) Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile. If you love someone more than they know, put this in your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile. If you have ever slapped someone, copy this into your profile. Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply, just being one. We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever cursed loudly and then realized that a teacher was standing nearby, copy this into your profile. if hannah montana was about to jump of a cliff 90 percent of people would scream, put this on your profile if you would be that 10 percent that would say "jump" If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. Copy and paste this to your profile if you want Edward to bust your headboard,bite your pillows,and bruise your body i want the kinda guy. . . Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable To the world you might be one person…but to one person, you might just be the world!! Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday A Real Boyfriend When she stares at your mouth Kiss her When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you Grab her and dont let go When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet Ask her whats wrong When she ignores you Give her your attention When she pulls away Pull her back When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared Protect her When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn't answer for a long time reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up When she says that she likes you SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND! When she grabs at your hands Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes dont look away until she does When she says it's over she still wants you to be hers When she reposts this bulletin she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go - When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you - Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her - Treat her like she's all that matters to you. - Stay up all night with her when she's sick. - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid. - Give her the world. - Let her wear your clothes. - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her. - Let her know she's important. - Kiss her in the pouring rain. If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you. Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend." Girls post as: "A Real Boyfriend At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came If you love your dad, post this on your profile. (Whether you're reading this or not, dad, I love you.) Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God... PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLING STORY ITS TERRIFYING AND I ONLY POSTED IT CAUSE I'M PARANOID! DON'T READ PAST IT PLEASE! there were 3girls They were looking through peoples The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Repost or you are going to die. Creepy, huh? READ ON FROM HERE I'M PRAYING YOU SKIPPED IT! If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. Homophobia is wrong. C+P if you agree. If you’re against child abuse (in any form) copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you're not stupid enough to believe music causes suicide, copy and paste. If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have your own personal bubble space, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile. There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile If you believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. if you've ever been forced to sing a song you hated, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs and drink alcohol. Put this in your profile if you like bagels. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you think H2O Just Add Water is so Mary Sue that it should be illegal, please copy and paste this to your profile. If you have seen five minutes of H2O, and wanted to blow (what's left of) your brains out, add your name to the list. the good dr. ArianaRae, ProudlyIrish If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile. If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile. If you hate people who are only famous for their looks, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name. the good dr. ArianaRae.Beckyluvsonetreehill08 If you cried on your 11th birthday because you didn't get your Hogwarts letter, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Harry/Hermione is one of the worst ships on the planet, copy and paste this into your profile. Harmony can kiss my ass. If you think Hermione/Snape shippers are just plain disturbed, copy and paste this into your profile. If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account. If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, The Choco-Holic, Jade Snape-Holloway, psychotic me, LLAMAS WILL RULE THE WORLD, PrettyFanGirl, Cannotstopwriting, jasmineflower27, ArianaRae,beckyluvsonetreehill08, If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this,then add your name and how long it took you to read the book, (Cannotstopwriting - 1 day),(jasmineflower27 - 3 days),(ArianaRae - 2 days)(beckyluvsonetreehill08 - 1 day!) If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile. If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile. If you cried when Dobby died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), copy and paste this into your profile. If you want J.K.R. to make a series about the Marauders, copy this into your profile. If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile. If you spend a lot of time wishing Hogwarts existed, copy and paste this into your account. If you would like to take a mace to the Jonas Brothers' untalented and ugly heads, copy and paste ths into your profile. 95 of people would be crying if the Jonas brothers were about to jump off a 15 story high building. Copy and paste this into your profile if you would be one of the 5 grabbing popcorn and soda and yelling "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" () () Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies.) 1. FIRST NAME: Becky 2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope my siblings chose my name, thank god i hate the name my mam wanted but its ok for a middle name :) 3. SIBLING NAMES: I have 4 you guess one's a guy lol 4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Friday for absolutly no reason except i felt sad 5. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDS? they're ok 6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? chicken or porkchops 7. KIDS? what about them? :S i'm 15!! 8. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? no i'm a loser 9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? nope 10. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? hmm you tell me 11. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? nope! i'm queen of the huge tonsils and they had to be removed 12. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? after i finish school i'm going away and doing this and sky diving 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey Cheerios 14. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU REMOVE THEM? why would i?! 15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? yep! 16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Strawberry, yum 17. SHOE SIZE? 7 yeah i'm big foot 18. RED OR PINK? red 19. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? my appearance i'm fat and ugly 20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friend Jack 21. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO PUT THIS IN THERE PROFILE? don't mind but i'd like to read their answers it'd be funny 22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? blue and i'm wearing coloured socks 23. LAST THING YOU ATE? Two pieces of Toblerone 24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Father Ted is on Tv, the one with bishop and and the rabbits :D 25. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Green 26. FAVORITE SMELL? Old books and autumn afternoons 27. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my sister Carol 28. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?They are misunderstood 29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? no'one did 30. FAVORITE DRINK? DIET COKE!! 31. FAVORITE SPORT? ehh the only one i like is Badminton 32. EYE COLOR? Brown 33. HAT SIZE? same as my head 34. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? nope glasses 35. FAVORITE FOOD? ice cream 36. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? both 37. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE? The Proposal (it was class) 38. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? my jeans 39. SUMMER OR WINTER? winter 40. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs 41. FAVORITE DESSERT?ice cream Never hire a colorblind electrician. If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it. A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug. I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib. Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it. After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done. At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill. The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future. Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo Live dangerous…Run with scissors. I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. Smile... it confuses people. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! "Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown." -Bill Cosby There's a ME in AWESOME, but there's also a WE. I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers. Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. "I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!" -Dory from Finding Nemo I can resist anything but temptation. The best place to hide is in plain sight. Guys aren't worth your tears. "Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong... but you know what I mean." -Paul, She's the Man Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun. Music is my boyfriend. Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill too many people. "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers." ~ Mean Girls (Coach Carr) "A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."~Thomas Mann Well, sweet Tidy Bowl Jesus skipping on the blue toilet water, we wouldn't want it to get fucking weird, would we? Holy shit, it's a cat! Zoey: You know, i'm beginning to think that somewhere inside you there's a nice Aphrodite hiding" Aphrodite: Well, don't get all warm and tingly. As soon as i find her,I'm going to drown her in the bathtub." I'm not lying i'm writing fiction with my mouth - The Simpsons Goals in Life: Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more. "As your girlfriend, you've just pissed me off. As your High Priestess, you've just insulted me. And as someone with a working brain, you've made me wonder if you've lost every bit of your sense." - Zoey Redbird 'Because you are the superhero fledgling. I’m just your more attractive sidekick. Oh, and the herd of nerd are your dorky minions.'" - Aphrodite, untamed "You're as slow as a fat kid on crutches" - Aphrodite Aphrodite: so how did Neferet's ritual go Zoey: Fabulous, she set up a protective curtain around the school. No'one gets in or out without her knowing it. Couldn't be better. That is, unless your us. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. Agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. (Me: Yep. Veeery intensely.) Procrastinators of America unite!... Tomorrow. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters. (Me: -sigh- I know, right?) If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. AV is Addicted to Vampires. ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder. My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go. Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity? Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set. The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Tell the truth and run. Don’t follow me, I’m lost too. This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob. Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored. Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff. I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do, kill me? I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter. When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate. It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER. Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them. Set sail in a general that-way direction. I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later. Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face? All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Music is love in search of word. Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”? Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”? Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it? The sun has set, the moon has risen, today’s the day we get out of prison!! If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Don’t mess with me. I’ve got a stick. He said I love you, I sneezed and said sorry I’m allergic to bullshit. I’ll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet. You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us! Life was so simple when boys had cooties. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends I’m so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. "You say one painting is worth a thousand words, I say one word is worth a thousand paintings." - Unknown Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real. I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not. What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy. If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because ‘They’ve seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.’ These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo. A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. Unfortunately, you can’t die of a broken heart. Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over. He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron. If you know me, chances are you hate me. I’m the kind of person your parents warned you about. Why are some girls so naive? He didn’t unbutton your shirt to see a better view of your heart. When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you. Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will hurt my inner child. Don’t judge a book by its cover or a person by their scars. It’s not until you’re broken that you know what you’re made of. Tired of living and scared of dying. (thats me alright ) It requires MORE courage to suffer than to die. You said that you would die for me, you must live for me too. To die is nothing but a long goodbye. This isn’t just goodbye, this is I just can’t stand you. I hear your silence loud and clear. The past is only the future with the lights on. Shut up, voices, or I’ll poke you with a fork. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail. Never moon a werewolf. Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life. It's not trash. It's a home for a hamster. When I'm feeling blue I start breathing again. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to use the internet, he won't bug you for weeks. One good turn gets most of the covers. He who thinks by the inch and talks by the mile deserves to be kicked by the foot. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbour’s newspaper, that's the time to do it. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. If you lend someone 20 and never see him again; it was probably worth it. If you haven't much education you must use your brain. Never mess up an apology with an excuse. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either! Wisdom comes from good judgment and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick. I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia. Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths. Yeah, I'm a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet. Cute but psycho- things even out. I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache. I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms. I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. No, I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then. I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me. Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one. Why do people always say life is short? Life is the longest damn thing you can do. Love your enemies. It pisses them off. Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that. Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice? Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried. Shit happens. But mostly to me, so dont worry. Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept! Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide. I was uncool before uncool was cool. Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority- sarcasm: my anti-drug. Caution: I tend to make wierd faces. I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it. I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone. Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. If superman is bulletproof, why does he duck when you throw the gun at him? Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it. Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth. Don't call me emo, or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain. And then I'll die and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT. Do people even know what 'pro-biotic' and 'omega 3 fatty acids' are? Beacuse the yogurt may taste good, but it sounds pretty gross to me. It's not just your family. It's the whole idea of... you know. They're always telling you what to do and what not to do, and it's not conductive to a creative atmosphere! Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? All right, all right. If you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing is right... and that's what deathbeds are for. Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it. I was born intelligent. Education ruined me. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are these "others" here for? Money isn't everything- there's Mastercard and Visa too. Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Success is a relative term. It attracts all the relatives. There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning. 'Hard work never killed anybody.' But why take the risk? God made relatives. Thank god we can choose our friends. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know... so why learn in the first place? Reality has no background music... so I make my own (doo do do do do doo) Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet. Life is a test- I didn't take very good notes. I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said 'Of course not', so I told her I didn't do my homework. No, I am not wierd... just plotting. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you. I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours. If drama was vodka, my whole school would be wasted... except for me, of course. I intend to live forever... so far so good. I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep. Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again. Embrace the inner rebel- don't sit up straight. Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you. Textually active. Life is like a box of chocolates- it never lasts. The way your mind works gives a whole new meaning to the word complex... and not in a good way. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth while Be insane... because well-behaved girls never make history. You Know You're a Book Addict If... You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book. Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up What's your personality like? obsessive Who do you have a crush on? not telling lol What was the last thing you thought? can't say cause its the answer to the above question :) Say George Bush. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? asshole Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it? my glasses What are you writing RIGHT NOW? this Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 18 and find line nine. What is it? "there was probably some kind of rational explanation for" What are your thoughts on writing? fun :D Favorite colors: Green, Orange, Yellow and Black Think of any Chuck Norris joke, what is it? dunno If you could be king of the world for 30 seconds what would you do? buy all the books and tv shows/boxsets in the world Are you a vegitarian or a meat eater? meat eater Without looking, guess what time it is: 02:30 Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 02:17 This or That? New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse or Twilight? Midnight Sun or the movie? Who do you want Bella to be with most? Edward or Jacob? Who do you like more? Bella or Jacob? Bella or Alice? Alice or Edward? Alice Alice or Jacob? Rosalie or Alice? Jasper or Alice? Jasper or Edward? Carlisle or Esme? Esme Emmett or Jasper? Emmett or Jacob? Bella or Rosalie? Rosalie Esme or Charlie? Charlie or Carlisle? Charlie or Billy? Jacob or Sam? Sam or Quil? Quil or Embry? Quil Who is the better villian: James or Victoria? Victoria Vampires or werewolves? (for another iPod shuffle thing) 1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle. 1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say? 2.How would you describe yourself? 3.What do you like in a girl/guy? 4.How do you feel today? 5.What is your life's purpose? Because of You - Kelly Clarkson (maybe i'll find my soulmate!) 6.What is your motto? 7.What do your friends think of you? 8.What do you think of your parents? 9.What do you think about very often? 10.What is 2 + 2? 11.What do you think of your best friend? 12.What do you think of the person you like? 13.What is your life story? 14.What do you want to be when you grow up? 15.What do you think of when you see the person you like? 16.What will you dance to at your wedding? 17.What will they play at your funeral? 18.What is your hobby/interest? 19.What is your biggest fear? 20.What is your biggest secret? 21.What do you think of your friends? Welcome To Paradise - Green Day ( they're cool lol) Sipping Vodka A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. The Stupid Test! (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than you are not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun! (x)Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. () Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. (x) You have run into a glass/screen door. (x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. total=4~ () You have run into a tree. () It IS possible to lick your elbow. (x) You just tried to lick your elbow. () You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm. () You just tried to sing them. (i already knew yay!) (x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. () You have choked on your own spit. () You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it. (x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice (x) You just looked at it. (x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it. (What? I don't get that Q...) (x) People have called you slow.(just joking though lol ~total so far= 10~ () You have accidentally caught something on fire () You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek. () You have caught yourself drooling. (x) You’ve fallen asleep in class () If someone says “fart” you laugh. () You just laughed. ~total so far= 11~ (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking (x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about () People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you (x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”. (x) You use your fingers to do simple math. ~total so far= 15~ () You have eaten a bug. () You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it (x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc. ~total so far= 17~ (x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. (x) You break a lot of things. () Your friends know not to use big words around you () You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused () You have fallen out of your chair before (x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling ~Total all together= 20~ (NOOOOOOO) WHY BOYS SHOULDN'T CHEAT Jack was the most popular guy in school. Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Ashley approached the movies that night Ashley had peeked through Courtney's messing The next day at school Ashley wasn't A note that read: My dearest Jack, I Always with you, Ashley Please foward this or Ashley will That scared the hell outa me sorry for putting it up but i wouldn't have been able to sleep :) 12 Ways To Keep A Normal Level of Insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sun glasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates General Ways to Annoy People Ways To Annnoy Your Roommate Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park Ways To Annoy People On The Subway How To Annoy People On An Airplane This has got to be one of the most clever DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you step to the ledge of all the light you have left, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you step upon, or you will learn how to fly." "You know you need a boyfriend when cartoon characters look amazingly hot." "Save the Earth! It's the only place with chocolate!" "To fly without wings is to fall without fear." "So what if I don't look like a model. I still look awesome!" "The pen is mightier than the sword." If you fight with your computer put this in your profile. If you are a Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks shipper and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. Copy and paste this into your profile if when you were young... There were only 150 Pokemon. Digimon was popular. Yu-Gi-Oh! actually had Yugi in it. You didn’t get weird looks when you went Trick-or-Treating. Nobody cared what you looked like. Hamtaro ROCKED. Catching a pigeon was cool. Pirates before Pirates of the Carribean. Nobody knew how to spell 'Volcano'. Pinky and the brain were cartoon characters, not body parts. Saying 'moron' was a swear word. Fire was considered dangerous. The only thing you had to worry about were cooties. Cursive writing was just a bunch of swirly lines. Multiplication was scary. Dora the Explorer and that goddamned monkey who follows her EVERYWHERE didn't exist. The first Harry Potter was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Post this on your profile if you ever woke up your mother or father at three in the morning to kill a spider in your room. If you have ever tried to laugh evilly like Light Yagami, copy and paste this to your profile! Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (Or geek.) If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. (my family are worried lol) If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. (god i cryed for Buffy, Code Geass, Death note, many more ) Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy | |||||||
1. The Only Slytherin Weasley » reviewsEveryone thought she was just another Weasley but none of them had any idea of what was in store for them from her very first moment in Hogwarts. This is an evil Ginny fanfic and a sort of what if... story so please read and review its my first fanficHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,270 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 10-10-09 - Published: 4-10-09 - Ginny W.2. Barney Attacks People Dressed as CookiesThis is one crazy story involving Barney, people dressed as cookies and much more insane stuff. It will include my own characters but occasionly feature characters from anything under the moon, looking for a laugh, look no further :DParodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Published: 9-12-09
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