January 20, 2012: If you're here looking for LB, it's gone. Before you ask, I'll answer any possible questions. Go here -- http://joantheflask.blogspot.com/2012/01/bitch-be-crazy.html

May 5, 2011: I'm sorry, guys. I'm putting my fan fic writing on hold for a little while until real life slows down. I'm still around and yapping on Twitter but unfortunately, AS is on hiatus. Jasper would be so upset with my mentality.

I'm a thirtysomething mom of two who came to the party a little late. I'm a fan of the Harry Potter books. I saw all the movies. I watched Goblet of Fire a half dozen times. Never thought much about the actor who played Cedric Diggory. I mean, like I said, I'm in my thirties. I shouldn't find a Harry Potter character attractive. Right?

Then last year EW ran a horrible cover story on the making of Twilight (Rob looked atrocious and in pain on the cover) and it piqued my interest because I'd always been a fan of vampire stories. I mentioned the book to my sister, who decided to buy it and read it during her vacation the following week. I figured I'd borrow it from her at some point if she thought it was good. Ah, so naive. Less than a week later, my sister calls me from an airport in Mexico. She is frantically searching through airport bookstores for New Moon. I laugh because she has clearly been consuming too much tequila. Again, naive. She tells me she's dropping the book off at my house as soon as she gets back as long as I promise to start it right away. I have a book club selection I'm reading but I promise I will. A week later I have read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse back to back. I finish Eclipse the week after Breaking Dawn is released. I can't imagine what fans had to endure by having to wait a year in between installments. I couldn't wait a day in between the books.

I didn't hate BD as much as other fans did but I was left feeling a little empty. I learned then that Stephenie Meyer was the ultimate cockblock. I couldn't get my mind off of her "fade to black" honeymoon sequences. So, I started to Google. Certainly, there must be more people like me who wanted more, right? I found the Lexicon and played around there for a bit before getting directed over to FFn.

So it was August 2008 when I discovered fan fiction. When I learned what a lemon was. When I learned that I loved DTE. When I stopped reading my book club selections. (Really? You want me to read Revolutionary Road instead of The Dominant? Ah, no.) When I started wondering what Rob Pattinson thought about Demi and Ashton's age differences. To paraphrase Britney, I'm not a girl, not yet a cougar.

So, you can find me attached to my iPhone waiting for some of the terribly talented writers out here to update and provide me with my daily dose of fluff and smut.

Banners:

Good Vibrations by ms. ambrosia

The Baker's Magic Buns by ms. ambrosia

Planes, Trains and Automobiles by TallulahBelle

America's Sweethearts by Tkegl

Baker's Buns Blog Recs:

The Fictionators, Altered Lions and Sacrificial Lambs, The Perv Pack Smut Shack

Planes, Trains and Automobiles Blog Recs:

My Precious Fandom

Awards and Nominations

Baker's Magic Buns:

The Giggle-Snort Awards - Nominated for Funniest O/S, The Eddies & Bellies - Nominated for Best short fiction, The Sparkle Awards - Nominated for Best O/S

The Boy in Blue:

The Twinklings Walk of Fame - Nominated for One Night Stand Award

America's Sweethearts:

The Glosp Awards - Nominated for Fic that Makes you Need a Stiff Drink

Twitter - because all the cool kids are doing it

SORRY - I'M NOT AUTHORIZING ANY TRANSLATIONS OF MY STORIES AT THIS TIME. THANK YOU. :)