"Your mother sold you for a Reese's."

Watashi wa Kitsuke desu!!

Welcome to meh profile!

Most of the following stuff is from other people's accounts, so I don't claim any of it!:

Quotes from 'Thief!' Most recent quotes at top:

“Just wait until I tell Al how you’re leaving us with a child molester!” “I’m not interested in your little brother! I don’t do optimism!”-- Ed and Envy

“You might want to get to class, or I’ll be forced to write you up.” “Can you really do that?” “No. But the power makes me feel good.”-- Ed and Russel

“Mister Envy is a pirate?!” “I didn’t say that, Al! I said ‘Envy is a thieving jackass that wants your booty’. Wait…never mind.”-- Ed and Al

“Shut up, creep. So, why is he the one to be my ‘babysitter’? I think he wants to touch me inappropriately!” “No I don’t…at least not in public.” “See?!”-- Ed and Envy

“I think you might want to get that…” “It’s not my door though—“ “You better play pretend and open it.” “What if it’s a killer?” “Then give them a dollar.” “Or a rapist?” “Give them two dollars.” “What about a Jehovah’s Witness?” “Well, then calmly take whatever pamphlet they give you, act like you’ll go to their church, and then throw the shit in the trash once they go away.” --Ed and Roy

“But I might’ve gotten an email from a friend at school!” “You have friends?” "He’s a Nazi.” “You have friends?” --Ed and Roy

“Just for that, you’re spending half an hour in a jail cell. Right now.” “With a man?” “No, a woman.” “Oh. Well, what so bad about that?” “She’s on her cycle,” “Oh. Oh Shit.” --Ed, Roy and Riza

“…But, my sexy senses are tingling, and time is ticking. I’ve got a watch to… accidentally find on the ground.” “—and the dog bit my leg!" “Did you scream?” “Like a girl.” Ed, Envy and Alfonse

“Do you want to use the blue shit or the purple shit?” “Why don’t we use both? It could be blurple shit. And we might get a bigger bang.” “That just might work. Okay, I’ll work on the blurple shit, and you can prepare the DVD.” --Ed and Alfonse

“Children! It’s education time! Today we will be BLOWING MORE SHIT UP.” --Kimblee

“What do you mean, attempting to hide? You wouldn’t be able to see this with X-ray glasses!” “Actually, I can see it really easily. You’re wearing that gay skintight shirt again.” “This shirt isn’t gay…” “It really is. So, what’re you trying to hide? A really realistic water gun?” “Actually… It’s a real gun. For my first period class.” “Dear God, it’s so shiny…Hey, isn’t this godfather’s?” “He told me to use it.” “No way! Only irresponsible adults would give a minor a gun!” “Then I guess what is Roy?” “…Can I touch the shiny metal again?” --Ed and Al

“I just had to say it. But, anyway, if you join this guy’s cause I’ll kick you out my house immediately.” “Thanks for the care.” “You’re welcome. Now clean up my table, mini-nazi.” --Ed and Roy

“And did you see the look on Kimblee’s face when our rat exploded?” “It looked like he was going to orgasm on the floor! I think we just got ourselves a double A plus.” “Yeah…Edward…may I ask a favor of you?” “Sure. What is it?” “May I…touch…your hair?” --Ed and Alfonse

“Lessee… Dorochet! Do you have an extra knife?” “Naw man, I’s only got my super-shankin’ knife, and I love it like a brother.” “Admirable! Okay then, Barry! I know you have another knife on you!” “But… I love my knives…It must be something really important for me to…relinquish one.” “Bitch needs it.” “Oh, well, that’s okay then. I like Bitch.” --Bald, Dorochet, and Barry

“He seemed pretty nice to me.” “Al, everyone seems pretty nice to you.” “I just like to be optimistic, it makes me feel better.” “And I like to be real, it keeps me from getting raped.” --Ed and Al

“Are you ready Al?!” “Yes brother!” “Do you want to kick some ass, Al?!” “Yes brother!” “Can you see yourself as this school’s bitch, Al?!” “Yes brother!” --Ed and Al

“Jesus, we’re fifteen minutes late already! Al, get to your class, be safe, and if anyone pulls out a knife, start crying.” “Why should I cry?” “They stab complete pussies less. I saw it in a gangster movie.” “You watch gangster movies?” --Ed and Al

“Thought so. Scared yet?” “If I say ‘yes’, will I die?” “I ain’t thinking about it, but some others might.” “Then no, I’m not scared shitless.” “Good choice, man. Good choice.” --Ed and Dorochet

“It’s time for class! As the board says, this class is Shanking 101.” “Shanking…101? But my schedule says ‘Social Studies’…” --Ed and Bald

“How do you not know what a shank is?” “I’m from Colorado?” --Ed and Bald

“So, I never got your name.” “I never wanted to give it to you, but since you’re so interested, it’s Edward Elric.” “I’m Envy H.” “Great. Can I finish eating now?” “How about you let me show you around the school?” “Stop trying to get into my pants, jerk.” “Damn it.” --Ed and Envy

OTHER QUOTES:

"So, the radio waves come out from that thing, and into someone else's thing and you can talk to them?" But what about the voice I heard earlier?" "Envy, you didn't hear voices. That was someone on the other end." "But ... I didn't open it. I didn't even touch it." "Prove it."
pries open phone and on the circuit board is a tiny man
"See! I'm not crazy, Ed!" --Ed and Envy, (Drain Bamage)

"Hey, Edo-kun?" "What now?" "I think I just killed the little man." "Little ... Man?" "Yeah, the one from the cell phone." "Er, how'd you ...?" "He was suntanning in the toaster." "I don't suppose this would be a good time to bring up the fact that we also need to replace the toaster." --Ed and Envy, (Drain Bamage)

my favorite quote is MEOW!

Seriously. I’m not joking. Look at this face. Do you see this face? Does this look like a happy face?

Everything was FAKE!! Okay, so maybe I exaggerate. A bit. There were trees. It’s just that they were all labeled Made in China

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!!

You're jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

You know you went too far when you did yoga when it's not the next day but the day after that one that it hurts to laugh.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I am worse than evil... I am the author!!

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then procede to tell you exactly why it isn't.

How Troublesome...

Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.

No! You don't get it! You think you get it, which is different than actually getting it, get it?

There are 3 kinds of people: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.

People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.

My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

When life gives you lemons, think of another 'when life gives you lemons...' quote.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

"Be UniQue- BECAUSE THE LAST TIME SOMEONE DECIDED EVERYONE SHOULD BE THE SAME, 11 MILLION PEOPLE DIED!!"

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. (my friends are fine)

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe that half of what you say/write/think doesn’t come out right and is complete stupidity copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you are crazed and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate it when people label you, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’ve ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever sat one the computer for at least ten hours just reading fan-fictions, paste this into your profile

-If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am afraid of Gai and Lee

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. -many many many many many times for me

If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile - i also wondered why the hell someone decided to DRINK it afterwards... i mean wtf?

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How to do Naruto!

Eat ramen for breakfast,lunch,and dinner

Stick your hand in a electric box and scream chidori as you pass out

Roll your eyes behind your head and scream Byakugan

Dye your head blond,black, or pink and try ti run up a tree.

Trade in your hat for a forhead protector

Claim your gonna kill ur best friend 2 get a better Sharigan

Copy everything a person does and claim its ur bloodline

Graduate highshool and proclaim ur self as Anbu

List Anbu as current occupation on a job application

spout out a random character quote on command

Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way"

When you run, you run with your arms behind you

Try to walk on top of a hot spring

When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage

Write your name in blood on a big scroll

Take a leave of absence for 2½ years and when you come back pretend you're cooler and smarter

You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand.

You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain.

You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.

You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.

You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline.

You always wear green, skintight clothes.

When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu.

You dye your hair white and spy on girls.

You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage

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I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love

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I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.

"If it's small, I run over it. If it's big, I ram it 'till it's small, or outta my way."
"SHISHI-WAKA-FUCKIN'-MARU-CHAN! HAPPY NOW?"
"You see, the problem here is, you're speaking in Math, and I'm listening in Stupid."
"I have a tendency to not finish what I've st"
"Things seem to be so much more fun when you have someone else to enjoy them with. Like going to the movies, or playing a game. Or yaoi."
"Insanity is just a word for "eccentric genius."
"All the special effects in the world can't turn a bad plot into a good movie."
"Otaku rule because our lives are portable, and we know how to be subtly unsubtle."
"Whoo! I don't have any homework to feel guilty about not doing tonight!"
"When in doubt, be vague."
"The day we finally find a way to save our earth, will probably be the day we blow it up."
"I speak fluently in sarcasm."
"I am the thing that nightmares have nightmares about..."
"I'm not supposed to make sense! That would defeat the purpose of confusing people!"
"If I don't know the answer, the question's probably not important anyway. ... ...GUN!"
"It doesn't matter how varied high school courses are, because in the end, they all turn into math class."
"Woah... Black is Back, and I'm wearing Neon..."
"... Am I pathetic or what? I just LOST against myself in checkers."
"-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" (choke)(hack)(dies)(revives)(dies again)(revives again)
"When in doubt.. PUSH RANDOM BUTTONS!"
"When your convincing has the same effects as reverse-psychology, you know it's time to shut up."
"Fuck credentials, I'm just plain egotistical. ... Pride must have done this... Where'd he go.. I must BEAT him... With a stick."
"It's my style not to have a style."
"Fate doesn't exist. We're all just pawns in someone else's fanfiction!"
"Is this movie decaf?"
"You can usually tell if you're a sinner based on whether or not you think of "Holy fuck" as an oxymoron."
"I finally have time to do whatever I want, so I'm finding it most satisfying to waste it."
"Oh My GOD!" - said God.
"Hey look, it's Butterfree the butterfly Pokemon! Wait... What the hell is a butterfly?"
Irony: Falling down the stairs due to distraction by the "watch you step" sign.
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!"
"Fighting is Mind over Matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter."
"An Interruption! It must die..."
"Want some coffee with your sugar?"
"See that empty hall out there, yeah, that's the hall of people who care."
"Don't steal, the government doesn't like competition."
"Holy crap I'm quoted in your fanfic profile! Woo... The quotes make me seem violent... BONUS!"
"There are 3 kinds of people in this world, those who can do math, and those who can't do math."
"There's shit everywhere, you can't get away from it, there's shit everywhere."
"This kid's gotta lot of hate... I like him!"
"Barry took my meeeeat... DAMN HIM."

"If you can read this, then you are not blind."
"If you can hear this... Then there's something wrong with you."

Kids look at algebra and think, "Why put letters into Math?"
Adults look at internet lingo and think, "Why put numbers into English?"

Kit gets a can of soda.
Meilin mock-smacks her in the side as she's walking out. "Where's my soda?!" (half joking)
"Here's a cup." (leaves cup of old soda on table) Meilin faintly hears a dryish "Die. Slowly" from Kit's room.

"How many Homunculus does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"Who cares, it only takes one to screw Ed!"

My dad once told me that all the modern Japanese music I listen to now originated in Led Zepplin and the Beatles and other golden oldies. I told him, "The roots are good and all, but it's the flower that counts."