My name is Karen and I just really like writing! I hope you guys liked my stories if you haven't read any of them then please do! ;)

Isn't having a smoking section in a resturant like having a peeing section in the pool?

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

IF YOU THINK THAT WB CHANGING THE HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOODED PRINCE RELEASE DATE TO JULY IS A BUNCH OF BULL THEN COPY THIS INTO YOU PROFILE!

I, as a reader find it increasingly infuriating that stories can get thousands of hits yet only a few reviews. What could take you five or ten minutes to read could have taken someone several hours to write and a lot of planning. Reviews encourage people and make them feel good about the writing. Copy and paste this if you agree.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a door (or lampost) copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, Moonlight Music Mistress,ChristinaAngel,cocogirl198, RavenclawDuchess, AnimalAddictions, Naflower05, twilight_fanpire_me

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Please, I'm so addicted to fanfiction I stay up until like 6:30am reading random crap.)

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. (R.I.P Uncle Bill)

If you kiss your beloved animals on their noses, faces, or lips or kiss them in general, then, of course, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a nick name for your cat/dog, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

92 percent of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. (I do that all the time)

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frickin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Sometimes, it's not an accident...)

If you are wierd and like it,copy this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight series will rule the universe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe your own Edward Cullen is out there somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love reading/writing Twilight fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile

If you completely got over your Harry Potter obsession when you read Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Twilight is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread Twilight over four times...copy and paste this into your profile.

When ever you see an apple you think of twilight copy and paste this into you profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that all other vampire stories are 'fakes' after you've read Twilight Copy and paste this into your profile

If you think the Cullen's should have their own theme music Copy this to your profile

If you spit every time you hear the vile Mike Newton's name, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love everything except for Jacob Black about the Twilight series copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are Obsessed/Addicted to the Twilight series copy and paste this to your profile.

If your in love with a fictional character copy and paste this into your profile

If people mistake you for a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile.

If AACIBD means Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder and your the definition then copy and paste this into your profile

If AV is Addicted to Vampires and your the definition then copy and paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary If you have done just that, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile

When life gives you lemons there are multiple things you can do. Here are just a few:

When life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

When life gives you lemons, sell them on ebay.

When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat them.

When life gives you lemons, stand around and see if there's more.

and finally,

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in peoples eyes.

When you can do all that with lemons, why would you make lemonade?

Good Friend vs. Real, True Friend

A good friend will comfort you if a guy breaks your heart. But a real, true friend, will go up to him and say "It's because your gay, isn't it?"

A good friend won't eat anything except what is offered to them at your house. But a real, true friend will add to the grocery list what they ate already.

A good friend is afraid to bring up politics with your parents for fear of offending them. But a real, true friend already knows all their good arguments.

A friend will bail you out of jail. But a real, true friend will be in your cell saying, "Damn, that was fun! Let's do it again!..."

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. But a real, true friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. But a real, true continues walking while saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

A good friend will let you tell them about your really bad day over the phone. But a real, true friend will be over in ten minutes with a chick flick and a gallon of ice cream.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. But a real, true friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.H.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.H.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Deepness On Twilight

I’ve developed a weird habit of biting people.

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but Alice is always at his window with a bat. How does she kn…ohhh, right!

All I want is a gorgeous, immortal, cold, silver Volvo owner that sparkles in the sunlight and bites me…is that too much to ask for?

Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers brunettes! Ha! Go brunettes!

Changed my name to Bella, moved to Forks, acted like a danger magnet…So where’s my Edward?

Twilight Warning: This book may severe daydreaming, insanely high expectations for boyfriends, overactive imagination, drooling, and the belief that Edward Cullen is NOT fictional.

I have been diagnosed with OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.

Before Bella Swan moved here, we all thought he was gay.

You haven’t read Twilight? Go shoot yourself in the foot!

I poured glitter on my boyfriend so that he’d be just like Edward.

Like you don’t gasp every time you see a silver Volvo.

Screw being a princess, I want to be a vampire!

Every time a guy ignores me, I know it’s just because he’s a vampire in love with me, and he is too polite to drink my blood.

I jumped in front of a moving van to see if Edward would save me. And it hurt...

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for anothers.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you act completely, well, crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being (every cell in your body) to Twilight and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours straight WHILE riding rollercoasters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your friends, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when for some strange reason your wardrobe scares you so you have to army roll to your bed from your door. Crazy is hopping to class, and when asked why, you blame it on the bunnies. Even if there were no bunnies. Crazy is when you get into the wrong car when being picked up after school. Crazy is when every time your throat hurts, you hope you somehow turned into a vampire without knowing it. Crazy is when your friend goes up to a blonde, pale doctor, tells him she knows his secret, and you let yourself get dragged out by security with her, and are still her friend. Crazy is when you like to read stories that make your cry. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese,Vampire Scooby, alannaswarrior, random.clumsy.vampire., chrissyissy

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, alannaswarrior, random.clumsy.vampire, chrissyissy

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, alannaswarrior, random.clumsy.vampire., chrissyisssy

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, Yahoo!, and the internet, copy this to your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. When I laugh, I sound like my gay uncle. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile (and add something random)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREE-HUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love 'Rent' so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven

I'm a CANADIAN, so I MUST live in an igloo

I'm a MENTALLY CHALLENGED, so I MUST be a retard

Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

Random Stuff For Laughs

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

EMO=Extravagantly Made Oragami

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator.

Boys are like slinkeys; useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys attack.

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with...

Don't worry. When you have kids of your own, you forgive your parents.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Suicide is Man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me, I quit."

A day without sunshine is like, night.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.

Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that, my children, is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Darn, there goes my Christmas plans!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Charlie Anyboy - The Blenders

Saturday morning's paper before me
All is laid out in black and white
One little story lost on the last page
Told of a Charlie Anyboy

Charlie was only nine in the story
Lived in suburban Anywhere
Parents ignored him, oh but adored him
So read the life of Anyboy

Late winter morning, outside they're playing
Break from the daily write 'n read
Charlie was off from the others with Billy
Friends since the start of second grade

Billy showed Charlie a toy that was heavy
One he hoped daddy would not see
Neither had seen one quite of this caliber
Only in cop shows on TV

What a frozen day for the boys to play
Such a stillness in the air
And the sun didn't shine on that kid, barely nine
Was he chosen?
It's not fair

Twelve o'clock sound rang out in the playground
Telling the kids to run inside
Everyone scattered, which way didn't matter
As Charlie stumbled and fell behind

Charlie lay silent, peace was beside him
Children looked on in disbelief
They hadn't seen such a sight of this caliber
Only in cop shows on TV

What a frozen day for the boys to play
Such a stillness in the air
And the sun didn't shine on that kid, barely nine
Was he chosen?
It's not fair

How my heart is filled with a permanent chill
As I think of Charlie lying there
Someone's son, barely nine
How it could have been mine
I'm so tired of the same cold stories

I don't think Mother Nature intended
For Charlie to leave the world today
I don't think Mother Nature intended
For Charlie to leave the world this way

This is such a sad song but it's true!

I thought the Twilight movie was soooooooooooooooo amazing!! I LOVED it!! Not even kidding! It's now my favorite movie EVER!

This is such a good song!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a_Y1wAJ2MU&feature=PlayList&p=677EB7D63B9AE99F&index=0

(For the above link you copy and paste it into your web browser)