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Sir Starlll
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email: Email
since: 09-12-08, id: 1691378, Profile Updated: 11-23-09
country: United States
Author has written 4 stories for Legend of Zelda, Super Smash Brothers, and Mario.

Hey guys. Thanks for coming to my profile.

Name: Sir Starlll

Age: Ummm 13? I think...

Things I like: Randomness, humor of almost any form, Video games, Truth or Dare Fan Fics, etc.

Things I hate: People watching video game endings on You tube, People who use game shark, Game Shark, Action replays, Hackers, Game Shark, HACKERS! ACTION REPLAYS, GAAAMMEE SSSSHHHAAAARRRRKKK!!

Favorite songs: Holiday (Greenday), Wheel of Fortune (Pirates of the Carribian), and Wisemen (James Blunt).

Favorite books: Redwall, Artimis Fowl, The Thief Lord, Pendragon, My Side of The Mountain, and The Ranger's Apprentice (Although in books 5 and 6, he's not an apprentice).

Favorite games: Legend of Zelda (all except for Majora's Mask), Sonic the Hedgehog, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, Paper Mario (The original), and Super Smash Bros. (All three).

For those of you who are wondering, why my avatar is of NiGHTS, there is a simple answer for that. (Walks away.)

Note: The following contains a lot of O.C.'s, and you do not need to read them all.


Name: Fisticuffs

Age: He is immortal.

Personality: He has four faces, therefore four personalities.

Other: ??

Appears in: ??


Name: Starlll

Age:23

Personality: Always looking for excitement.

Appearance: Wears a mask that changes weekly, and dark Jedi robes, with a blue (sometimes red) lightsaber.

Other: He used to be Darth Sideus's Apprentice, but then saw the destruction of the Dark side a joined the rebels, making his best friend/ ally, Pompai.

Appears in: No stories at all.


Name: Silicon

Age: 8 years old.

Personality: Hyper.

Appearance: Messy red hair, jedi wannabe robes, and a handmade paper bag mask of a dragon.

Other: He's my apprentice. What is he trying to learn, you ask? Well, I have no idea whatsoever.

Appears in: No stories at all.


Name: Pearson

Age: Same as me.

Personality: Always calm. He could be in the middle of a hurricane and have no emotion.

Appearance: Green. Lots and lots of green.

Other:He's my conscience/ alter ego.

Appears in: No fan fictions aside from the Author's notes.


Name: Mudd (Ocarina of Time)

Age: 392 (Don't ask)

Personality: Calm and often annoyed, though he can be a joker.

Appearance: Messy black hair, mud brown eyes, Grey-Black tunic, two knives on his belt, one dagger/very short sword, and one throwing knife, Black Tarantula tattoos on his wrists, and a massive longbow slung over his shoulder.

Other: His two tattoos are actually cursed marks from Nayru, Fayore, and Din, and they occasionally burn like molten iron. He has two brothers born at the same time as him named Solo (oldest) and Skinner (born in the middle).

Appears in: One story, Legend of Zelda


Name: Mudd (Twilight Princess)

Age: 18

Personality: Carefree, stubborn.

Appearance: Same as his father (Above).

Other: He's in a war against the Gorons. A very bloody war that ruins Hyrule. Oh, yeah, and he has a crush on Midna.

Appears in: One story, Legend of Zelda.


Name: Mudd (Wind Waker)

Age: 15

Personality: Serious, though his friend Hero's (who belongs to my friend) Joking personality is starting to rub off on him.

Appearance: Same as his father/ Grandfather, except he has slight red eyes like his mother.

Other: His parents died when he was seven, so he lived like a street rat, stealing on various islands to survive.

Appears in: One story (although he cohosts in Jane O' Callahan's friendly Truth or Dares), both in Legend of Zelda.


Name: Skinner

Age: 318

Personality: Dark and shady.

Appearance: He usually wears a dark brown cloak that lets him blend into the shadows at will.

Other: He's Mudd's twin brother. He was sent to jail because of theft, but then sent to slavery.

Appears in: Two fan fictions.


Name: Solo.

Age: 318

Personality: Always looking for excitement.

Appearance: Does it matter?

Other: He's Mudd's other twin brother. As the oldest of the three, he took full blame when they could not pay for a bet. No one knows what happened to him after that.

Appears in: Two stories.


Name: Will Evergreen

Age: 16

Personality: Carefree, nice.

Appearance: Brown hair, with blue eyes. He also has a silver necklace with a black string.

Other: Will's father is a millionaire, who is so horrible that he often forgets that he even has a son. More importantly, he was bit by a werewolf at the age of 12, but his silver necklace is, as some of you know, wolf's bane, so Will keeps his mind and some of his other human traits, such as standing on two legs.

Appears in: No stories... yet. He will appear in the Sonic the Hedgehog section.


Name: Luke Walker.

Age: 17

Personality: Smart. Very smart.

Appearance: Died green hair, a green shirt with hazel eyes.

Other: He's Will's best friend, and is also known as "The Seeker".

Appears in: No stories... yet. He will appear in the Sonic the Hedgehog section.


Name: Sillow

Age: He was created at the same time as the world so...

Personality: Laid back.

Appearance: Shiny black with gold bracelets that show he has a master.

Other: Sillow is a Genie with more power than anything in the upper world, and most of the underworld. He gave the Devil 40 wishes, and now only 5 remain.

Appears in: I probably won't get around to adding him in a fan fiction, so anyone who asks can use him.


Name: Akumid (Ak-U-mid)

Species: Druid

Personality: Loud, Always bouncing off the walls.

Other: He woke up one day in the Lost Woods, and the Devil saved him from a band of skull kids. Akumid has no memory of his Past, and so he named himself
after ancient fairy language for the word "Saved" But he changed his name to Akumid when he found that Heylooklisten didn't sound very fitting for a slave
in the underworld. He has a black beard that goes down to his feet (he occasionally trips over it)and bright red skin. He'll bravely fight a bear, but turns to mush at the feet of a Skull kid. His master likes to use him for thief missions and is very good friends with Sillow.

Favorite song: He often half-sings half-hums "Amazing" by Aerosmith.
Appears in: I probably won't get around to adding him in a fan fiction, so anyone who asks can use him.


Name: Wes

Age: 18- 21

Personality: Carefree.

Appearance: blond air, with blue eyes. He has a jacket (Pilot's jacket) That has about a billion (12,957,857,109, to be exact) different shades of green that brakes up the user's shape.

Other: He stole a ship from his own planet, and travels from planet to planet, finding others who don't think they belong in their own world. The group is called the Supernovas.

Appears in: Two stories in the Sonic the hedgehog section.


(The Letters, my little minions who do all the chores and such)

A: Optimistic

B: Temptress

C: Lazy

D: Likes food

E: Smart
F: E's brother (lost a leg in “The Accident”)
G: C's Brother (Lazy)
H: Into sports
I: quiet
J: (I's brother) on crutches
K: Superior
L: (I's other brother) Loud
M: Idiot

N: (M's younger brother) Idiot

O: Fast

P: Top-heavy
Q: Really stuck-up/ smart
R: (P's brother) One of the few completely mobile letters
S: Snake-like
T: Q's friend (I's third brother)
U: Plays video games
V: (U's sister) Likes plastic surgery (B's friend)
W: (U and V's mom) the village elder
X: lonely
Y: The youngest
Z: pessimistic
:-) : the leader

Note: There are many, many, more O.C.'s stored up in my mind, I just don't feel like posting them.

(+'.'+) (- '.' -) Help Plusle and Minun take over fanfcition! Copy and paste this on your profile and don't forget to add your name to there army list! Their Army: ROSELIACOOL, KengoGirl, KeytoDestiny, Mightyena26, Starlight Nightmare, AssassinPrincess, and Starlll.

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ

(Passing requires 4 correct answers

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below.


ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zeland

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

What do you mean, you failed? Me, too (And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile!

What happened to pikmin? It was a hit for at least two years and then no one ever picked it up again! I still play it, but I have never met anyone (Besides my friend Nintendo64) who still plays it! Well, at least they are making a new one for the Wii, hopefully that'll pick Pikmin back up! (No pun intended) (Okay, maybe pun intended.)


I am not completely sure that all of the folowing facts are true. I found them on the internet.

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ..even your heart!

Only 7 of the population are lefties.

40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

The average housefly lives for one month.

400,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

Eating breakfast cereals like "Fruity Pebbles" and "Cap'n Crunch Berries" will cause your stools to come out green.

Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

Among the music catalogues that Michael Jackson owns the rights to is the South Carolina State anthem.

In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins.

If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

~Author Unknown~

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for

Blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half

more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait..

Donkeys kill more people annually

Than plane crashes or shark attacks.

You burn more calories sleeping

Then watching TV

Oak trees do not produce acorns

Until they are

fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code

was Wrigley's gum.

The King of Hearts is the only king

WITHOUT A MUSTACHE

American Airlines saved 40,000 in 1987

by eliminating one (1) olive

from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

(Since Venus is normally associated with women,what does this tell

you!)

Apples, not caffeine,

are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from

DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

So did the first ' Marlboro Man. '

Walt Disney was afraid

OF MICE!

PEARLS MELT

IN VINEGAR!

The three most valuable brand names on earth:

Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...

but, not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo...

and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush

be kept at least six (6) feet away from

a toilet to avoid airborne particles

resulting from the flush.

Richard Millhouse Nixon

was the first U.S. president whose name contains all

the letters from the word 'criminal.'

(who thinks up this stuff??)

The second?

William Jefferson Clinton

And the best for last...

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

Always keep smiling. Makes 'em wonder what you've been up to!

Ways to creep out your roommate:

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon...''

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''

Copy and paste if you just want to copy and paste something.


The Ultimate Game: Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (Gamecube)

It just never gets old! The first appearance of Shadow the Hedgehog (No relation to Sonic- so don't ask!) and Rouge the Bat. It's fast-paced plot keeps changeing, so you never get bored, the Chao world never ends, and Tails voice isn't a girl's! The boss battles are challenging yet fun, and Eggman finally does have the master plan (Cue the song 'E.G.G.M.A.N.)! Shadow/Sonic's levels are face paced and full of discoveries and rings, Knuckles/Rouge's levels are basically a treasure hunt full of clues and Master Emerald shards (My least favorite), and Tails/Eggman's levels are full of shooting and mazes, that are so detailed that it's almost impossible to describe accurately. I must have beaten it 20 times by now, and I am still finding new things! The controls aren't as annoyingly sensitive as Sonic Unleashed, so you don't break into a full run after every little movement.A new spin on the 3-D Sonic games and it truly is a one of a kind. (Cue the song 'One Of a Kind)

Plot line: Eggman (or Robotnik) Breaks into a Government testing lab and discovers the 'Ultimate Life Form': Shadow the Hedgehog. (For some strange reason, people think he looks like Sonic, but I don't know why.) Shadow breaks into a presidential bank, and steals a chaos Emerald (Red, I think). The police think that it was Sonic, and arrest him. The Hero's story mode (makes more sense if you just play it) starts with Sonic inside a helicopter, breaking out and running away to find out what happened. He fights a giant robot, blah, blah, blah. Then the scene changes to Knuckles on Angel island. He's arguing with an annoying Bat about the Master Emerald (M.E.). Eggman enters the scene and tries to steal it- but Knuckles breaks it, claiming he can fix it if he gets all of the shards back together. Breaking the M.E. then fixing it is really turning into a strategy, isn't it? Treasure hunt level, then Tails comes along, Flying in some cool-looking plane.

Later, as the plot develops more:

For the Enemies' side: The Bat from earlier (Rouge) teams up with Shadow and Eggman. The three have found a machine that can destroy the entire planet, if it is powered by all seven chaos emeralds (C.E.)- which is why Shadow stole a C.E. in the beginning. They test it out on the moon, destroying half of it. If three C.E.'s could take out half the moon...

For Sonic and the gang: Tails, Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, and, according to rumors, Big the Cat who is following them (because you can see him in the background at times), are going through the same old song and dance, trying to stop Eggman- but this time, they blast off to outer space.

As said before, the Plot keeps changing, so that makes it hard to keep track of. If the Wiiveiwer was reviewing this, he would say it is a definite buy. Yoooouuuu must play iiiiiittttt...


This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murdered girl chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.


http://www.aeropause.com/wordpress/archives/images/2009/03/hehasfallen3-580x435.jpg

This has happened to me on OoT so many times.


Video games are my new religion, and whoever did this is my GOD!!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6493722340610946105


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92jpPCzgI_s

1) In the beginning, the Clone says 'Bridge Shift', not what you think.

2) Notice the rebel popping up everywhere in the first half. In the next half, notice what color lightsaber he has.

3) C3PO says 'Snowcone? Hahaha' at the end.

4) Get ready for the daily experiences of the average Death Star Day!


http://tipofthesword.comicgenesis.com/d/20060315.html

Wait a minute! That happened to me!

The guy with a green hat (Auker) was one of my O.C.'s, and the shy guy was me!


Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMG" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the voice of God.


Deep Thoughts

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a
hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old

burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a
pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but
decided to go home instead.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I
bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it
shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo,
flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a
beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful
painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did.

"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other.I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with
some good ideas.If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons
(maybe by shoving them down his throat).Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call
them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what,
can't we all be brothers?Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out
that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because
I was thinking about doing that anyway.I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver.
And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real
quick and hand it to him.Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and
"ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind.If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've
wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I
went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in
my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but
it's just eggs hatching.Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like
a regular window.During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not
putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like
I am now.When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and
whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger
toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had
bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled
off the paint.Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know
anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any
extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and
take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy
garbage guy.Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,
even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're
talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet
it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading
a magazine.If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think
it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to
teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting
the vulture.Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while
you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on
a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run
with a wooden stake.If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think
a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me,
it's not.Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a
dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look
out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over
here, looking through your stuff.For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add
a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?



Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. (Had to learn that one the hard way)

At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me. (The mindful people, however...)

It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it? (Wait, I'm not supposed to do that?)

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun. (I agree with that one.)

If at first you don't succeed then sky diving isn't for you. (Had to learn that one the hard way)

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the heck you did. (I added extra apple juice.)

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with. (But I ordered a cheeseburger!)

This world is full of crazy people.THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!! (Huzzah!)

WARNING:Do NOT follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff. (and wells... and volcanoes...)

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me,and hell was afraid I'd take over. (But still, I already rule the crazies, so it's just a matter of time.)

I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me? (Had to learn that one the hard way.)

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? (Yeah, and Girls are equal to guys right? So what's up with 'ladies first'?)

Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. (I can relate to that...)

Who was the first person to look a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? (My Great-great-great-grandpappy)

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"? (Moses. Who else?)


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism


And yes, I did add 'Sir' to the beginning of my name.

You know, have you ever been so bored, that you just can't find anything to do?

That's happening to me right now.

Don't have much to say.

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1. His Name is Mudd 2 » reviews
War finally broke out between the Goron and Zora. As the war rages on, Mudd the second stars in his own adventure, while Hero the bumbling werewolf, the other lead, experiences the advantages of war- and just who is Uiod? You wanted a sequel, you got it.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 35,358 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 11-12-09 - Published: 11-26-08
2. Underground Luigi Fanclub With Starlll and Josh » reviews
Luigi deserves some spotlight! So, me and my friend decided to give it to him! Read this collection of one-shots written by the two funniest guys on F.F.! And just who is Jason? Hey, don't read something else! Get back here! I mean it!
Mario - Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,633 - Reviews: 51 - Updated: 11-5-09 - Published: 8-31-09 - Luigi
3. Sci Phy » reviews
Despite the title, it's not a Sci-fi fic. I'm bad at summaries, so bear with me. SSB is a virtual reality game,full of hackers and moderators. Join Phy- the mod-wannabe on his quest that will make you laugh, cry, and be sick- in a good way. READ ME! NOW!
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 29,917 - Reviews: 80 - Updated: 10-11-09 - Published: 1-12-09
4. His Name is Mudd » reviews
What if Link got attacked on the road? Then after hunting the attacker, they were forced to be allies? Who would think that someone named Mudd would have such a story. Some MalonxOC Final Chapter UP! Chapter 13 is gone. Ask to see it.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,756 - Reviews: 57 - Updated: 1-22-09 - Published: 9-30-08 - Complete
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