FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| sodapoplover101 |
Author has written 2 stories for Final Fantasy XI, and Outsiders. HI people of this wonderful world that sux a lot. Anyway I may put things on here more than once, simply because i am to lazy to look at all of my stuff.!! name: icecream.sodapop(duh!) age:old enogh to have a 12 year old brother, a 10 year old brother and, and two 7 year old(brother and sister) personality: weird, hyper, crazy, phyco, unpopular, totally in love with fictional males(oopsies!) discrption: blond hair, blue eyes, writes a lot, trips waaay too much, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh? Hobbies: writing, daydreaming, (getting in trouble), reading ,yelling, fighting, messing around on the computer fav movies:twilight!! InuYasha Fav Anime (not in any order): InuYasha, Zombie, Blood, Fruits Basket, Bleach If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile 92 percent of the teenaged population would be dead if Abercrombie and Filch or Polo said it was uncool to breathe. Post this on your profile if your one of the 8 percent laughing your ass off. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "to" and "too". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, Icedragon012990, Night's Fang, OhBrother, Under The Blackened Sky, Kasmik AliSaunden,icecream.sodapop You know when you live in 2008 when... 1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have weird friends put this on your profile. If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal, put this on your profile! If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, put this on your profile. 98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, put this on your profile. If your obsessed with fanfiction, copy this on your profile. If your profile is way too long, copy this and make it longer. If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a converstation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile. If you hate those obnoxious preppy people as much as i do, PLEASE put this on your profile! If every time you here a High School Musical 1 and/or 2, Hannah Montana, or any other Disney channel song you want to bleed from the ears, put this on your profile. Highlight the ones you are, just like i highlited the ones i am! I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I have new friends this year that are white so I MUST Be an oreo(black on the outside, white on the inside. I know. where do kids come up with this stuff) I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender. ((Kaname)) 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?((black!)) 3. Your first initial?((V)) 4. Your month of birth?((Jul)) 5. Which color do you like more, black or white?((black)) 6. Name of a person of the same gender as yours.((Yuuki)) 7. Your favorite number?((13)) 8. Do you like California or Florida more?((California)) 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?((ocean but I love them both)) 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). ((To get a whatever I want.)) Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. (WHAT?? Ew.) 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate. (Fabulous.) 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. (Yup.) 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. (Hm, have I really had that many? I guess I can’t count.) 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! (Yay! So that means that my teacher will quit!!) Life is Precious Before your eyes first saw the world, I set their special hue. Before you heard your mother’s voice, I sang My song in you. Before your mom first felt you move, your heart began to beat. But best of all was when I formed your priceless, precious feet. Protect and love those feet I’ve made and every other part. And mom, please give your child a chance, a strong and loving start. For life’s not ours to give or take, but only to defend. So show the love your mother did, and be joyful in the end. ~Richard Frostman Got these from someone's profile: Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole! Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not If two wrongs don't make a right, try three! 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God! Silent is golden but duck tape is silver You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that! How to torture Edward Cullen: Picture yourself naked. When life gives me lemons, I trip over them. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. TGWF: Thank God We're Female I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. –Edgar Allan Poe Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be altered every six months- Oscar Wilde Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on. “And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it?” – Eddie Izzard, Dressed to Kill Really Dumb Store labels: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Wow, really? I wouldn’t’ve guessed!!) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious. . .) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". Here's a joke... there are 3 men who need to get across a lake... the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across... he gets big muscles and swims across... but almost dies 5 times... the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across... he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across... but he almost dies 3 times... the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains... he turns into a woman... walks 4 yards... and crosses the bridge If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, copy and paste this into your profile Twilight: Because a small part inside of us broke when we realized our boyfriends weren't mythical monsters If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile. (my dad even likes it!) If you freak out durring a thunderstorm because you truly think that vampires are out there playing baseball, copy and paste this on your profile -those come from ama-chan13’s profile When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can. - i'm not lying...i'm writing fiction with my mouth - homer simpson -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory When there's a will, I want to be in it. -Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. -The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. -I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. - When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. - I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work: 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You zone out even with other people. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. You're profile is REALLY long. Your computer runs out of memory. You can't stop writing! And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. I guess I'm an author. . . ONE FOR THE GIRLS! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train! If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence. If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (... so THAT's why I'm crazy.. ohhh) Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them. If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out. Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door Questions I'm sure you've never asked + things to ponder: Can you mindwipe a vampire?? Can a vampire go into a coma? What happens if a werewolf is bitten by a vampire?? Is there such a thing as a vampire dog? Or any other animal, for that matter? If Percy (PJO) is Poseidon's kid, can he go on roller coasters? What came first: the chicken or the egg? (drop it. Just drop it.) If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (hmm, I wonder. . . ) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? If you believe in God, copy this into your profile. If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile. If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. (As of Aug 14, 08: 336) If you have done so much stupid stuff that you just go by Bella, or you're just a plain clutz, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (Chocolate? WHO SAID CHOCOLATE?!). If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you are willing to rebel against the flamers and anyone who is bad in the world and harms any animal or plant of any sort (except a few selected) copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Shorty and KG Inc., BookWormBandGeek, Holly Marie Fowl, icecream.sodapop This is about abortion...I HATE abortion! Say that's okay, and you're saying it's okay to murder people! (Small people, but still people.) Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!! You know you live in 2008 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job... 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skipdown the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've never even heard of those shows, copy this in to your profile. Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF! I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button The road to success is always under construction Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its shoes on. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. The Catholic Church is still very angry about "The Da Vinci Code” - they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. Failing to plan is planning to fail. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. God made earth; he rested. God made man; he rested. Then god made women, since then, neither God nor Man have rested. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Sipping Vodka A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God... FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" FRIENDS: When you get thrown in jail will come bail you out BESTFRIENDS: will be in there with you going "Damn, we fucked up." FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this shit 1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. 2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public. 3.Do not answer fictional characters in public. 4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public 5. Do not go out in public. 6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4. 7.Note expressions. 8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9.Floor is slippery when wet. 10.Lake is slippery when dry. 11.Only talk to strangers you know. 12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all. 13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note. 14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15.Kill them for security purposes. 16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible. 18.The men in white coats are not your friends. 19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects. 20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning. 22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. 25.Train army of flying monkeys. 26.Goldfish don't like milk. 27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist". 29.People are staring at you. 30.So act insane. 31.People are weird, but not as weird as me. 32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. 33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible. 35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding. 36.Never pet a burning dog. 37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka. 38.Naked men dig parkas. 39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40.You know what would look good on you? 41.Immolated cockroaches. 42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43.The size of Danny DeVito. 44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. O~O 45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. 47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!" 48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world. 49.That way is rum. 50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t. 52.You cannot kill the snow. 53.The snow can kill you. 54.Grass can also kill you. 55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms... 56.Catch and castrate leprechaun. 57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say. 58.Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs. 62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon. 63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork. 65.Remember to kill HIM... 66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67.Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice. 70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions. 71.Eat the evidence. 72.But not if it's broken glass. 73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run. 74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids. 75.Disregard last note. 76.Note reactions. 77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year. 78.Stock up on ball point pens. 79.Learn to fly. Tell no one. 80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81.Do not stick fingers into blender. 82.Blender... Bad... Ouch. 83.Blood loss is bad. 84.Find way to re-attach fingers. 85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86.Answer every question with a question. 87.Ask people what gender they are. 88.Note reactions. 89.Refer to people as "mortal". 90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me. 91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92.Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93.Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94.Kill them. 95.Brutally. 96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97.Dunk head in boiling water. 98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7. 99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling! 100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down... According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here? If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over. Whatever you are, be a good one. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. We are the people our parents warned us about. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Belief gets in the way of learning. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Cynics are made, not born. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. It is not the number of moments we live that count, but the moments that take our breath away. On a Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos! On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swanson frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: On Nytol Sleep Aid: On most brands of Christmas lights: On a Japanese food processor: On Sunsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a child's superman costume: On a Swedish chainsaw: On T-Rat (Military food): In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make it into television shows Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a cute guy for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... I handed in a last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87. I can resist everything except temptation. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. To the world you might be one person…but to one person, you might just be the world!! In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back! Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ~ht4eva R.I.P.- Albus Dumbledore , Sirius Black, Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, Dobby, Colin Creevey, Cedric Diggory, Julius Root, Zoë Nightshade, Bianca di Angelo, Castor (son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedalus, Lee Fletcher, and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood. They will never be forgotten. am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Holly Marie Fowl, icecream.sodapop, 4 OUT OF 5 DOCTORS AGREE THAT I'M INSANE Does Evil Exist? The University professor challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!" "God created everything?" The professor asked. "Yes sir", the student replied. The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil." The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth. Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?" "Of course", replied the professor. The student stood up and asked, "Professor does cold exist?" "What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question. The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat." The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?" The professor responded, "Of course it does." The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton 's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of Darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present." Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?" Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil. To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light." The professor sat down totally deflated. The young man's name -- Albert Einstein Busy yelling at the waitress who offered me the children’s menu. I predict I will be back. Trust me, I haven’t been wrong yet. Trying to prove that my bugs don’t have bugs. Trapped in the Operation Booth. SOMEONE GET ME OUT! Away making a sandwhich. It’s more difficult than it looks. understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole! Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not If two wrongs don't make a right, try three! 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God! Silent is golden but duck tape is silver You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that! How to torture Edward Cullen: Picture yourself naked. When life gives me lemons, I trip over them. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. TGWF: Thank God We're Female I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. –Edgar Allan Poe Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be altered every six months- Oscar Wilde Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on. “And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it?” – Eddie Izzard, Dressed to Kill Really Dumb Store labels: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Wow, really? I wouldn’t’ve guessed!!) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious. . .) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". -When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can. - i'm not lying...i'm writing fiction with my mouth - homer simpson -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory When there's a will, I want to be in it. -Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. -The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. -I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. - When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. - I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work: 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You zone out even with other people. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. You're profile is REALLY long. Your computer runs out of memory. You can't stop writing! And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. I guess I'm an author. . . ONE FOR THE GIRLS! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. ~edwardsgirl3 There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train! If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence. If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (... so THAT's why I'm crazy.. ohhh) Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them. If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out. Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door Questions I'm sure you've never asked + things to ponder: Can you mindwipe a vampire?? Can a vampire go into a coma? What happens if a werewolf is bitten by a vampire?? Is there such a thing as a vampire dog? Or any other animal, for that matter? If Percy (PJO) is Poseidon's kid, can he go on roller coasters? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (hmm, I wonder. . . ) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button The road to success is always under construction Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its shoes on. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. The Catholic Church is still very angry about "The Da Vinci Code” - they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. Failing to plan is planning to fail. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. God made earth; he rested. God made man; he rested. Then god made women, since then, neither God nor Man have rested. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Sipping Vodka A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. If you've ever shouted your favorite Artemis Fowl ship at the top of your lungs in the middle of a really busy place, copy this into your profile. (COINSHIPPING 4EVA!!) Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God... FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" FRIENDS: When you get thrown in jail will come bail you out BESTFRIENDS: will be in there with you going "Damn, we fucked up." FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this shit 1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. 2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public. 3.Do not answer fictional characters in public. 4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public 5. Do not go out in public. 6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4. 7.Note expressions. 8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9.Floor is slippery when wet. 10.Lake is slippery when dry. 11.Only talk to strangers you know. 12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all. 13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note. 14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15.Kill them for security purposes. 16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible. 18.The men in white coats are not your friends. 19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects. 20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning. 22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. 25.Train army of flying monkeys. 26.Goldfish don't like milk. 27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist". 29.People are staring at you. 30.So act insane. 31.People are weird, but not as weird as me. 32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. 33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible. 35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding. 36.Never pet a burning dog. 37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka. 38.Naked men dig parkas. 39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40.You know what would look good on you? 41.Immolated cockroaches. 42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43.The size of Danny DeVito. 44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. O~O 45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. 47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!" 48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world. 49.That way is rum. 50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t. 52.You cannot kill the snow. 53.The snow can kill you. 54.Grass can also kill you. 55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms... 56.Catch and castrate leprechaun. 57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say. 58.Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs. 62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon. 63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork. 65.Remember to kill HIM... 66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67.Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice. 70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions. 71.Eat the evidence. 72.But not if it's broken glass. 73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run. 74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids. 75.Disregard last note. 76.Note reactions. 77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year. 78.Stock up on ball point pens. 79.Learn to fly. Tell no one. 80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81.Do not stick fingers into blender. 82.Blender... Bad... Ouch. 83.Blood loss is bad. 84.Find way to re-attach fingers. 85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86.Answer every question with a question. 87.Ask people what gender they are. 88.Note reactions. 89.Refer to people as "mortal". 90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me. 91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92.Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93.Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94.Kill them. 95.Brutally. 96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97.Dunk head in boiling water. 98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7. 99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling! 100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down... According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here? If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over. Whatever you are, be a good one. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. We are the people our parents warned us about. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Belief gets in the way of learning. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Cynics are made, not born. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. (I agree whole heartedly) It is not the number of moments we live that count, but the moments that take our breath away. On a bag of Fritos! On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swanson frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: On Nytol Sleep Aid: On most brands of Christmas lights: On a Japanese food processor: On Sunsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a child's superman costume: On a Swedish chainsaw: On T-Rat (Military food): In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make it into television shows Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a cute guy for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... I handed in a last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87. I can resist everything except temptation. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. To the world you might be one person…but to one person, you might just be the world!! In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back! Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Got these from someone's profile: Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole! Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not If two wrongs don't make a right, try three! 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God! Silent is golden but duck tape is silver You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that! How to torture Edward Cullen: Picture yourself naked. When life gives me lemons, I trip over them. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. TGWF: Thank God We're Female I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. –Edgar Allan Poe Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be altered every six months- Oscar Wilde Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on. “And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it?” – Eddie Izzard, Dressed to Kill Really Dumb Store labels: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Wow, really? I wouldn’t’ve guessed!!) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious. . .) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". Here's a joke... there are 3 men who need to get across a lake... the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across... he gets big muscles and swims across... but almost dies 5 times... the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across... he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across... but he almost dies 3 times... the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains... he turns into a woman... walks 4 yards... and crosses the bridge -When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can. - i'm not lying...i'm writing fiction with my mouth - homer simpson -BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom. If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. - What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? - "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? - A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory When there's a will, I want to be in it. -Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. -The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. -I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. - When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. - I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. - Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work: 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You zone out even with other people. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. You're profile is REALLY long. Your computer runs out of memory. You can't stop writing! And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. I guess I'm an author. . . ONE FOR THE GIRLS! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. ~edwardsgirl3 There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train! If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk! A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence. If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (... so THAT's why I'm crazy.. ohhh) Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them. If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out. Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door Questions I'm sure you've never asked + things to ponder: Can you mindwipe a vampire?? Can a vampire go into a coma? What happens if a werewolf is bitten by a vampire?? Is there such a thing as a vampire dog? Or any other animal, for that matter? If Percy (PJO) is Poseidon's kid, can he go on roller coasters? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (hmm, I wonder. . . ) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Copy and pastes: If you believe in God, copy this into your profile. If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile. If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile. If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. If you have done so much stupid stuff that you just go by Bella, or you're just a plain clutz, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (Chocolate? WHO SAID CHOCOLATE?!). If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you are willing to rebel against the flamers and anyone who is bad in the world and harms any animal or plant of any sort (except a few selected) copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Shorty and KG Inc., BookWormBandGeek, Holly Marie Fowl, icecream.sodapop If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!! To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skipdown the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've never even heard of those shows, copy this in to your profile. Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF! I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button The road to success is always under construction Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its shoes on. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. The Catholic Church is still very angry about "The Da Vinci Code” - they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. Failing to plan is planning to fail. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. God made earth; he rested. God made man; he rested. Then god made women, since then, neither God nor Man have rested. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Sipping Vodka A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God... FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" FRIENDS: When you get thrown in jail will come bail you out BESTFRIENDS: will be in there with you going "Damn, we fucked up." FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this shit 1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. 2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public. 3.Do not answer fictional characters in public. 4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public 5. Do not go out in public. 6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4. 7.Note expressions. 8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9.Floor is slippery when wet. 10.Lake is slippery when dry. 11.Only talk to strangers you know. 12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all. 13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note. 14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15.Kill them for security purposes. 16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible. 18.The men in white coats are not your friends. 19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects. 20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning. 22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. 25.Train army of flying monkeys. 26.Goldfish don't like milk. 27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist". 29.People are staring at you. 30.So act insane. 31.People are weird, but not as weird as me. 32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. 33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible. 35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding. 36.Never pet a burning dog. 37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka. 38.Naked men dig parkas. 39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40.You know what would look good on you? 41.Immolated cockroaches. 42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43.The size of Danny DeVito. 44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. O~O 45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. 47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!" 48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world. 49.That way is rum. 50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t. 52.You cannot kill the snow. 53.The snow can kill you. 54.Grass can also kill you. 55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms... 56.Catch and castrate leprechaun. 57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say. 58.Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs. 62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon. 63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork. 65.Remember to kill HIM... 66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67.Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice. 70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions. 71.Eat the evidence. 72.But not if it's broken glass. 73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run. 74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids. 75.Disregard last note. 76.Note reactions. 77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year. 78.Stock up on ball point pens. 79.Learn to fly. Tell no one. 80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81.Do not stick fingers into blender. 82.Blender... Bad... Ouch. 83.Blood loss is bad. 84.Find way to re-attach fingers. 85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86.Answer every question with a question. 87.Ask people what gender they are. 88.Note reactions. 89.Refer to people as "mortal". 90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me. 91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92.Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93.Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94.Kill them. 95.Brutally. 96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97.Dunk head in boiling water. 98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7. 99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling! 100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down... According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate. Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here? If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over. Whatever you are, be a good one. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. We are the people our parents warned us about. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Belief gets in the way of learning. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Cynics are made, not born. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. (I agree whole heartedly) It is not the number of moments we live that count, but the moments that take our breath away. On a bag of Fritos! On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swanson frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: On Nytol Sleep Aid: On most brands of Christmas lights: On a Japanese food processor: On Sunsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a child's superman costume: On a Swedish chainsaw: On T-Rat (Military food): In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make it into television shows Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a cute guy for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... I handed in a last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87. I can resist everything except temptation. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. To the world you might be one person…but to one person, you might just be the world!! In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back! Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf. If you've ever lost anyone you love, or if you just think cancer sucks, copy this into your profile and email/PM me. If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile If you love someone put their name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be broken but a circle goes on forever DON'T WISH UPON, A STAR REACH FOR ONE. Candles are romantic, but lightbulbs don't burn your house down! Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button The road to success is always under construction Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its shoes on. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. The Catholic Church is still very angry about "The Da Vinci Code” - they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. Failing to plan is planning to fail. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. God made earth; he rested. God made man; he rested. Then god made women, since then, neither God nor Man have rested. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." Yesterday, I decided to kill the most beautiful person in the world... then I realized it would be suicide. I told your boyfriend he was gay, and he hit me with his purse. As I was sitting there, wondering why frisbees get bigger as they get closer... it hit me. Guys are like slinkys: useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs. When life gives you lemons, stuff your bra. A simple man eats with a simple spoon, someone took my simple spoon so I simply cannot eat. We are the type of friends who get hit by parked cars. I am the type of girl who bursts out in laughter because of something that happened yesterday. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying, "wasn't that fun?" Someday my prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I thought you were my knight in shining armor, but you turned out to be a loser in tinfoil. (or in foaly's case, a tinfoil hat :D) Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure... I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Holly Marie Fowl, ht4eva, Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered it. No one was there. Join the dark side; we have cookies. Fun things to do when bored: Run to an empty register at WalMart and yell into the microphone, "Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, will you please stop snogging in the tupperware aisle! When life hands you lemons... ask for a refund. Bad pickup line #138: So... you're a girl huh? Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that, my children, is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most countries. ~Willie Wonka Questions that haunt me #841: Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Artemis Fowl away messages (from AFF site): BRB. There’s a shimmering spot in the air behind my right shoulder. Uh oh... I do not have the time for these foolish “chats.” I have fairy gold to steal. At the risk of sounding clichéd, BRB. I’m away. Leave me alone before Butler makes you. Busy yelling at the waitress who offered me the children’s menu. Away trying to capture the yet again escaped Opal Koboi. I predict I will be back. Trust me, I haven’t been wrong yet. Trying to prove that my bugs don’t have bugs. Trapped in the Operation Booth. SOMEONE GET ME OUT! Away making a sandwhich. It’s more difficult than it looks. ~Artemis Fowl On Strike because nobody appreciates my extremely unique and helpful inventions. I’m not here right now, but as Holly says, “I knew he’d be back. I knew it.” “They accused me of murdering Julius. How can I stay? Don’t worry, old friend. I won’t be far away.” “Busy. Currently kidnapping an elf.” “Do not disturb. We have a serious situation above ground. First, I would like you all to stop all your yapping so I can hear myself think!” “BRB. Off to grab some caviar you can’t believe the stuff they feed us in Bartleby’s.” I’m away, but be warned, Foaly sees all. CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR. Everybody has a wild side; me and my friends just decide to show it in public. A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again. You cry; I cry. You laugh; I laugh. You jump off a cliff; I laugh even harder. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile. If you have every copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? It’s not until you're broken that you know what you're made of. if people shake their heads when they talk to you copy and paste this is your profile If you run into inanimite objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile If you have multiple voices in your head put this in your profile If you think people should be nicer and care for emos, so they can get their lives back on track put this in your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you've ever shouted "AT LAST! MY ARM IS COMPLETE AGAIN!" in a public place (like math class) while holding a pencil up to the light and imagining how shiny it would be if it were actually a razor, copy and paste this into your profile. ou could own a library with every book you have ever wanted to read and or liked/loved copy and past this on to your profile and add yourname to the list Italiangurlinmessedupworld, the epitome of randomness, Holly Marie Fowl,Stefanlover12, h/t4eva, icecream.sodapop, For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. (And LOSE!) If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.0 If you believe that the reason the girls always kiss the guys first is that the guys are too scared that they'll be slapped, punched, hit, kicked or mindwiped, then please copy this into your profile. If you have ever tried to walk through a wall, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever accidentally walked into a wall, copy and paste this into your profile. If for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile. If you've ever misspelled your own name, paste this on your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you have ever been flamed, copy this into your profile. meanies! If you're weird and you're proud of it post this into your profile!! If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer "Be nice to people. They outnumber you 5.5 billion (that number is bigger now, and it's steadily growing) to one." Anonymous "Sympathy sees and says 'I'm sorry', compassion feels, and whispers 'I'll help.'" Anonymous. "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller "I have been given so much. I have no time to ponder what has been denied." Helen Keller "Pride gets no pleasure in having something, only having more of it than the next man." C.S. Lewis "If I have made an appointment with you, I owe you punctuality; I have no right to throw away your time, if I do my own." Richard Cecil. "The role of a writer is to say what we are unable to say." Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Archer of Freedom, Savvyjewel , Stefanlover12, h/t4eva If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever tried to go up a down escalator, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever thrown a banana at somebody, copy and paste this into your profile! Rock, Paper, Scissors "I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shoot, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you." If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you freak out durring a thunderstorm because you truly think that vampires are out there playing baseball, copy and paste this on your profile YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You zone out even with other people. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. You're profile is REALLY long. Your computer runs out of memory. You can't stop writing! And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. I guess I'm an author. . . Questions I'm sure you've never asked + things to ponder: Can you mindwipe a vampire?? Can a vampire go into a coma? What happens if a werewolf is bitten by a vampire?? If a vampire gets shot, does the bullet reflect off of him/her? Is there such a thing as a vampire dog? Or any other animal, for that matter? What came first: the chicken or the egg? (drop it. Just drop it.) If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste; paste this in your profile If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile! If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! If you have ever started painting your nails and painted one hand, but then got distracted and never went back and finished the other one, put this is your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer 92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, bubbleyum, Sakura90873, tomboy14, the Reading Maid, Kiya-san, Cha-chan-hyper, ht4eva, icecream.sodapop, If you love someone more than they know, put this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile If you love cheese, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE NOW! If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're so obsessed with Artemis Fowl that it's not even FUNNY anymore, copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS: 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. 15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy. Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Arktos, Mei Fire, Happy-Hippy, MavisClone101, PerfectionIsInTheEyes, LLAMAS WILL RULE THE WORLD,GuardianOfTime808, XOLEP'sFirstOX, ht4eva, icecream.sodapop, 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile If you've ever introduced yourself as a character from your favorite book by mistake, copy this into your profile. If you suspect that you're slightly insane, (and you don't CARE!) copy this into you profile. If you've done something spontaneous and and REALLY embarrassing in the last five hours, copy this into your profile. If you've ever spelled your own name wrong, copy this into your profile. If you've ever chased someone with a pen trying to stab them, copy this into your profile. (You don't want to know.) If you've ever hated a boy for MAKING you have a crush on them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get easily obsessed copy this to your profile If you can't read the word,djytshkyrshfusd, copy this to your profile If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile. If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile. If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. (Screaming does count.) If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile. If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson/Opal Koboi, copy this into your profile. If you think that the news is depressing, copy this into your profile. If you noticed that in horror movies, it always happens when they're home alone during a thunderstorm at night, copy this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. All my friends are insane. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes. A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. A friend will bail you outta jail, a best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying either, "We really screwed up," or "That was fun!" You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder... If two wrongs don't make a right, try three 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God! My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground. Silence is golden but duck tape is silver You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing. When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that! Don’t analyze my beliefs, and I won’t pick out the flaws in yours I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. I'm not closed-minded; you’re just WRONG! Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be altered every six months- Oscar Wilde Truth is beautiful without doubt, but then so are lies . Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on. “And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it?” I am not weird, I’m gifted. Our thoughts and our imaginations are the only real limits to our How Not To Have To Dry The Dishes. ~Shel Silverstien If you have to dry the dishes, such an AWFUL BORING chore, If you have to dry the dishes 'stead of going to the store, If you have to dry the dishes and you DROP ONE ON THE FLOOR, Maybe they won't let you dry the dishes anymore! Fanciest Dive. ~Shel Silverstien. The fanciest dive that ever was dove Was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove. She bounced on the board and flew into the air With a twist of her head and a twirl of her hair. She did thirty-four jackknives, and backflipped and spun, Quadruple gainered, and reached for the sun, And then somersaulted nine times and a quarter- And looked down and saw that the pool had no water. Prayer Of The Selfish Child. ~Shel Silverstein. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my toys to break, So none of the other kids can use 'em... Amen. The Union For Children's Rights. ~Shel Silverstein Strike! Strike! For children's rights Longer weekends Shorter school hours Higher allowances Less baths and showers No brussel sprouts More root beer And seventeen summer vacations a year! If you're ready to strike, line up right here! Batty ~Shel Silverstein The baby bat Screamed out in fright, Turn on the dark, I'm afraid of the light! Arrows. ~Shel...well you know the rest. I shot an arrow toward the sky, It hit a white cloud floating by. The cloud fell dying to the shore, I don't shoot arrows anymore. Really Dumb Store labels. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Wow, really, I wouldn’t’ve guessed!!) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (What's the other use?) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Such a surprise.) On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever run into a mirror, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! Her name was Auroura Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school I'm skinny, so I MUST be Anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I CUT MYSELF, so I MUST be retarded. I do SELF HARM, so I MUST be suicidal. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terriost. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a jerk. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.(Irish and PROUD!!) I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convienance store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I must be ugly...or crazy. I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I'm BLACK so I must love fried chicken and kool-aid. (I'm a vegetarian!!) I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in a BAND/Marching Band/Colorguard, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so i MUST think I'm black. I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I love SHOPPING, so i MUST be rich. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I'm an OG so I must be mexican. I'm fat so I MUST have a problem with self control I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve. I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd I am BIRACIAL(mixed) so I MUST have smart days AND dumb days I love ANIMALS so I MUST become the CRAZY OLD CAT LADY I'm a GIRL, so I MUST talk only about guys, clothes, and other girls. I'm an ARTIST/MUSICIAN, so I MUST spend my weekends getting high. I'm WHITE, so I MUST be racist against black people. I LIKE TO READ, so I MUST be a dork/nerd/geek. I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think you're all going to Hell. I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST be homophobic. I'm FROM THE SOUTH, so I MUST have a country accent/listen to country music. I'm FROM THE SOUTH, so I MUST be racist. I CALL OTHER GIRLS PRETTY, so I MUST be lesbo. I WEAR PANTS THAT DON'T FALL DOWN, so I MUST be gay. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST hate GLBT, Mexicans, and people who get abortions. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST be an illegal immigrant. I'm HISPANIC/LATINO(A), so I MUST be from Mexico. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I've decided to REMAIN ABSTINANT, so I MUST be GLBT. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I AM NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I''m NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST work in a casino. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I have GERMAN HERITAGE, so I MUST be a Nazi I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude. I act HAPPY so I MUST have a prefect life and not know real pain. I DON'T DATE, so I MUST be GLBT. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake ~STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTYPES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND BOLD THE ONES YOU ARE! R.I.P.- Albus Dumbledore , Sirius Black, Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, Dobby, Colin Creevey, Cedric Diggory, Julius Root, Zoë Nightshade, Bianca di Angelo, Castor (son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedalus, Lee Fletcher, and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood. They will never be forgotten. ()() Copy the bunny to your presentation to help him achieve world domination, and come join the dark side. (We have cookies.) SUPPORT THE BUNNY!! And you get MILK MINT MELTAWAYS!! (The best chocolate in creation!!) And the bunny shall inherit the earth!! DAH DAH, DAH DAH, DAH DAH, DAH DAH DAH! WE ARE THE PRIESTS OF THE TEMPLES OF SYRINX! Etc... Rush 2112 ROX UR SOX!! flirting tips.: cuddling movies loving each other laying below the stars Now make a wish about something you would like to happen Stop!! Stop!! Stop!! Stop!! “Time heals all wounds, but always leaves a scar.” - Me, Gosangoku (if anyone else said this before me, I dunno 'cause I just made it up one time. -shrugs-) “It is only the end when everything is okay. If everything isn’t okay; it is not the end.” – Unknown “I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die.” – Isaac Asimov “Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.” – Tyron Edwards (Neji much?) “Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.” – Thomas Dewar “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” – Ursula Le Guin “People who break the rules are scum, but people who abandon their friends are worse than scum.” – Hatake Kakashi “I’m gonna live forever, or die trying!” – Joseph Heller (Catch 22) “I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. So I must be perfect!” – Anonymous “A conclusion is simply the place you got tired of thinking.” – Anonymous “Dying isn’t hard. It is remaining alive that is.” – Kenshin Himura (Rurouni Kenshin) “Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.” – Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp; Pirates of the Carribean) “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill “Are you on our side and want to be different or are you on their side and want to throw a football at my head?” – Gerard Way “There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that… But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.” – Gerard Way “Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.” – Unknown “Tears are words the heart can't express.” – Unknown “If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about.” – Gerard Way “When we first started out I had a really big issue and a lot of my loved ones had a really big issue with the fact that I was totally in pain up there and there was a time when I tried to hurt myself off stage, but I got over that. Like, you should never want to hurt yourself. You should love yourself. Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person and I think that that is going to be a lot of what the next record is about, not to plug it or anything. Like, it's going to talk about dying and coming back to become what you totally want to become. We are all becoming what we want to become.” – Gerard Way “So many people treat you like you’re a kid so you might as well act like one and throw your television out of the hotel window.” – Gerard Way “A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced.” – Hatake Kakashi “What I’m saying is, in the end, everyone is alone, right?” – TenTen “There’s no meaning to a flower unless it blooms.” – Yamanaka Ino Naruto: I get it! I get it! “Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” – Orison S. Marden “It’s a man’s obligation to stick his boneration in a women’s separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.” – Eric Cartman “You so much as touch kitty’s ass and I’ll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.” – Eric Cartman Cartman: You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina? “I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I’d be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!” – Eric Cartman “I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.” – Kyle Broflovski “You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place.” – Stan Marsh “Stan, don’t you know the first law of physics? Anything that’s fun costs at least eight dollars.” – Eric Cartman Kyle: The fat bitch won't let us. Cartman: Mooom! Kitty’s being a dildo! “No. That’s wrong, Cartman. But don’t worry—there are no stupid answers, just stupid people.” – Mr Garrison “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde “Be nice to people on your way up, because you’ll meet them on your way down.” – Jimmy Durante “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” – Jimi Hendrix “Wit is educated insolence.” – Aristotle “Everyday I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben “Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.” – T. S. Elliot “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” – Mark Twain “The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” – Tom Clancy “Half this game is ninety percent mental.” – Yogi Berra “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Mark Twain “Love is friendship set on fire.” – Jeremy Taylor “Woman was God’s second mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche “Homophobia is gay.” - Frank Iero "If I sit like normal people, my reasoning ability will drop by ninety percent." - Lawliet (Death Note) | |||||||||
1. The Secret Life of Steve and Ponyboy » reviewsok. this is a slash story.i don't think i will make this explicit.Outsiders - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,174 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 8-7-09 - Published: 5-22-09 - Steve R. & Ponyboy C.2. Never Let Go » reviewsThe beginning of this story is boring but chapter 3 up is better please please read my story?Final Fantasy XI - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,494 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 11-29-08
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