FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Ivory Tower |
Author has written 40 stories for Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and X-overs. Ivory Tower is 26, loves horror movies (B-rated included), and has been writing since age 14. I would tell you my favorite Harry Potter character, but after reading a few of my stories you will be able to figure that out on your own. Ivory Tower is quite fond of parodies and humor, and has little patience for those who are easily offended and hop on their little pedestals to whine about the unfairness of the world. Ivory Tower has had more than her share of bad luck, health, living circumstances, etc., and is even able to mock her own ill fortune and issues in her stories. Ivory Tower would like to thank those who appreciate warped humor and disturbing concepts. For a good laugh, Ivory Tower recommends the following movies: "Plan 9 From Outer Space"; "Flesh Gordon"; "The Evil Dead" trilogy; "Time Bandits"; "Fear and Loathing In Los Vegas"; any movie with Kathy Ireland. | |||||
1. The Mad and Zany Misadventures of Lucius and Snape » reviewsOn their own these two are evil and menacing, but when they get together they encounter the oddest situations. Chapter 6: Explore the realm of utter grooviness that is Lucius Malfoy's garden. Yes! The one place where he and Snape find true happiness!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,247 - Reviews: 81 - Updated: 8-10-04 - Published: 1-3-032. Candy Induced Chaos reviewsWhat horrors arise in the great hall as a result of too much candy and other substances? Who'd have thought Lupin could shed his modesty? Who'd have thought Snape could be so carefree? Hogwarts will never be the same after today.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,060 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 6-13-043. The Carnie Elves Incident reviewsWhat will the rest of the fellowship do when Legolas is kidnapped by the vengeful King of the Carnie Elves? Features frozen yogurt, many fried foods and a lovable pair of Siamese dwarves. Fun for the whole family! Or not.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,126 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-13-044. Parody Paradise » reviewsWarped Draco angst, dirty boutiques, and bizarre perversion! Chapter 24 up: Ginny is really an elven princess! This means the nonsense cannot be measured by any scale known to mankind! Jolly good fun here, kiddies!Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 25 - Words: 36,800 - Reviews: 184 - Updated: 5-31-04 - Published: 12-12-025. Drunken Debauchery Down in the Dungeon reviewsThe incident was crazy enough with Snape and Lucius forcing the class to do unwholesome things. Then Sirius walked in and things got completely out of hand!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,646 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 3-28-046. A Day With the Marauders and Company! reviewsJoin James and the gang for a fun-filled day at Hogwarts! Insults! Makeovers! It's all here, kiddies, and Peter gets the boot (big surprise, eh?)Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 3-22-047. Pancakes and Tequila Don't Mix » reviewsJoin Frodo, the Metatron, and the Sheriff as Frodo sets out to establish the best brothel in Middle Earth! Chapt 2. Snape arrives to teach Frodo the finer art of writing tasteless tales. The Sheriff and the Metatron continue to bicker.X-overs - Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,661 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 3-20-04 - Published: 1-6-038. The Day the Incredible Happened reviewsGinny thinks back on the day she witnessed something very unusual: the day she saw Snape laugh. Kinda leaves ya with a warm feeling.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 962 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 3-14-049. Up All Night reviewsLegolas and Aragorn role play as the others try to sleep. The others don't quite get it, except for poor Frodo.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 838 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 3-8-0410. Wedding Nausea reviewsIt's Lily's wedding day and everyone has something to gripe about. A harsh jab at all those wedding fics that make you want to gag.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,891 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 3-7-0411. None of This Should Be Happening! reviewsWhen a perverted item is stolen from Dumbledore's office, he enlists the aide of Hermione and Snape to find it-after he forces them to marry, of course.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 2-29-0412. Vanity to the Extreme reviewsIt is a well accepted fact that Draco is vain, but this is just plain odd! Tis unhealthy to pay so much attention to certain areas of one's body!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,106 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 2-16-0413. Why Snape Isn't A Physician reviewsIt's a very good thing that Snape decided to teach. I pity all Gryffindors everywhere.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 694 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 2-15-0414. Scroogy Snape reviewsAnd now a parody of all those annoying Snapish Christmas fics. Smut and sarcasm galore, kiddies!Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,568 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 12-16-0315. A Disfunctional Family Christmas » reviewsHere's a little Christmas play starring Snape, Harry, Hermione, Draco and Ron as a "normal, loving" family. Chapter 3 is up! Be fearful and rejoiceHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,597 - Reviews: 38 - Updated: 12-14-03 - Published: 12-9-0316. The Shower Incident reviewsNAKED SNAPE! Now that I have your attention, read all about Snape's strange experience in the shower.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 911 - Reviews: 43 - Published: 11-11-0317. What Lies Beneath reviewsHarry gets the strangest urge to look under...oooh, naughty places! Ron and Hermione get in on the fun! Oh, the secrets they find!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,708 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 10-19-0318. How It Really Happened reviewsThe story of Harry's parents, the Marauders, and Snape. This is how it really happened folks.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 10-15-0319. Oddities reviewsLupin's gone batty, Snape's tied up, there's an angry mob after Draco-what's going on? Brief appearences by the Metatron and the Sheriff.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,055 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 4-20-0320. The Unmentionable Curse reviewsThe new DADA professor teaches the children a very naughty curse! Most inappropriate, indeed! Rated R for language!Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,278 - Reviews: 38 - Published: 3-23-0321. And the Fan Girls Wept reviewsSnape and Legolas have multitudes of fans and Lucius feels left out! Can Snape save the day? Those with a warped sense of humor are welcome!Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 2-20-0322. The Horror That Is Ron's MindOr Is It? reviewsAll Ron wanted was some recognition. Instead, he got this...Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 857 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 2-7-0323. Have You Seen My? reviewsDraco has lost an integral part of his, ahem, manhood. Yes, kiddies, it's what you're thinking! Oh, wherever could it be?Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 41 - Published: 2-5-0324. The Spanky Dance reviewsThis dance is forbidden throughout all of Middle Earth! Find out what makes it so! There's a reason this dance was banned. Leave it to a hobbit to buck the system!!!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 940 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 1-28-0325. The Fellowship's Screwed Up Stay reviewsOn their way to France(yes, you read that correctly)the fellowship stay in a suite. Drinking and decadence follow! Never again will they partake of room service or the yellow pages!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 12-30-0226. Ice Cream and Alcohol reviewsWhat lengths will Lucius go to for a simple ice cream cone? Poor Snape, he was only stocking up on potion supplies, and now this!Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,352 - Reviews: 35 - Published: 12-26-0227. It Started Out Innocently Enough reviewsEver wondered what Snape and Lucius were doing during the Quidditch scene in the movie? The shockning truth is revealed with all the twisted details! Lucius is a sadomasachistic freak! Snape tries to ignore him. You'll never look at the Quidditch scenHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 484 - Reviews: 33 - Published: 12-19-0228. The Mad Tea Party reviewsAn insanely polite little story. Join Harry, Ron, Hermione, Malfoy, McGonagall and Snape for the oddest cup of tea you'll ever read about! Jolly good stuff! PG-13 for drug references.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 48 - Published: 12-18-0229. Some Things Are Better Off Left Alone reviewsSnape's in the hospital and the students are determined to find out what's ailing the evil Potions Professor. The only thing worse than this is when they decide to try and cheer him up. Oh dear...Snape is not pleased. Not at all.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,064 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 12-13-0230. Professor Snape's Twelve Days of Christmas reviewsYou know you want to read about the interesting and horrid gifts the grumpy Potions Master gives to his most annoying studen/fan! Do you agree that Snape would retaliate with these abominable treasures? Take a peek and see!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 486 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 12-12-0231. The Madness of Muggle Movies reviewsJourney with Harry, Ron, and Hermione as they brave the hilarious setbacks of movie making for their latest school project! Oh the humanity!Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,611 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 12-10-0232. Snape and Certain Sandwiches Don't Mix reviewsDare you witness the horrors that befall Snape as he prowls the corridors and eats his beloved sandwich? This is very strange, so be warned.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 12-9-0233. Whole Lotta Trouble reviewsOh the mishaps poor Ginny suffers while trying to get Harry to notice her. What creepy, crawley things Snape keeps in his dungeon... A story for anyone who had a good intention that failed miserablyHarry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,266 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 8-13-0234. Drivin' Around In My Automobile » reviewsDumbledore makes Driver's Ed. a requirement for everyone at Hogwarts. The question is who are the worse drivers: the students or the teachers? Chapter 2 is up: Snape is officially a driving instructer. Oh the horrific madness!Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,092 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 8-5-02 - Published: 4-23-0235. Original" Format for a Marauders Fic reviewsA silly jab of fun at all those Marauders fics circulating about.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 755 - Reviews: 31 - Published: 7-29-0236. Ain't No Cure For the Summertime Blues » reviewsSnape's usual holiday of solitude is disrupted by his new newlwed neighbors Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, and Black just can't resist pushing Snape's buttons! ALL GLICHES ARE FIXED!!! Chapter 3: Snape and the garden gnomes feud.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,994 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 7-28-02 - Published: 4-12-0237. Hot Fun in the Summertime or By The Pool reviewsWhat a lovely day for a swim at a local pool...wait a tick-why is that lifeguard decked out in black robes and why is he glaring at you?Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,388 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 6-27-0238. Rootbeer Halloween Party reviewsThe Hogwart's faculty get drunk off of spiked rootbeer and terrorize everyone, including each other! Read and review!!!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,105 - Reviews: 34 - Published: 4-10-0239. Mind Controlling Conspiracy reviewsPoor Ron, he's having a bad day and now this... For those who have an off-center sense of humor. It's hilarious! Read and Review!Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 623 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 3-8-02
