Hello and welcome to my profile. It is both bland and unassuming. And in the grand scheme of things, that's a good thing.

A little about myself. I am an aspiring writer and fiction fan. So when I found fan fiction .net a couple weeks ago (as of typing this) naturally the cogs in my head started turning and a slow, creepy little smile spread across my face. This is an excellent site to get into practice writing stuff that I don't need to worry about.

I am a 6'5", 310ibs man. 20 years old. Older sibling to three, with one older sister. But I don't think any of that is interesting, so enough with my bio lets move on to my works.

"What is a Sarendune?" A Sarendune is a character. Nothing more, nothing less. He from a fantasy world that one day you might visit. Or he might exist only in my mind forever. He is not the protagonist, he is not the antagonist. He is not an external reflection of myself, he is not a writer. Sarendune is my most favored character however that I have ever made. He is critical and he is cold. He is forgiving and he is warm. An impossible paradox that closely resembles the complexity of people who live in Reality.

He is also an emperor and a wizard, but honestly what the hell does that matter?

I plan on using this screen as a way to give extended author commentary on my work(s) which there is as of writing this, one chapter.

Growing Apart. (Formerly Grow Apart, or Grow Together. Nothing Stays the S)

Chapter 1 commentary.

This chapter was pretty fun to write, it allowed me to really delve into the lives of a the Azumanga Daioh characters and change and twist their dreams and personalities with the warping effect of time. I think I'm going to keep that as a general theme. I think it's a great theme, because after all, who here can honestly say that the first half decade after high school doesn't change the hell out of people?

One minor gripe I have with my own story is that it doesn't feel very original. I think in the next few chapters I'm going to need to pull some tricks out of my hat to make my story more memorable. Or if all else fails, make it so damned long that after the fourth day of reading it the reader forgets that my story is relatively new. When quality isn't enough, just use quantity and style.

Another problem that I have is that while I enjoy this sort of story myself, I think it's a bit odd to write a fiction about a comedy and turn it into a drama/tragedy/romance/angst story. In this way I think no matter what I do everything will be slightly out of character. I'll try to combat this by trying to keep all characters acting as close to how they did in high school as possible; with exceptions for their own personal changes (such as Sakaki becoming more outgoing and Kagura no longer being super athletic.) And yes, I will go into a chapter I have already written to change dialogue and thinking patterns if needed to accomplish this. I will give a heads up when I do this, as I understand that something like that could be confusing. But until the tab says "complete", this is a work in progress.

As for the plot, at first I was going to say this was my major complaint with this story. But the more I thought about it, and I re-watched some of the episodes of the anime I'm basing my story off of, the more I decided that I am probably taking it the correct way. The anime was about a group of friends and their adventures in the exciting world of everyday life. And fans loved that. They weren't ninjas or robot pilots, they weren't moon princesses or alien martial artists with glow-y hair. They most certainly aren't mutant pirates or ancient pharaohs or monster pit fighters.

They were just high school students.

And now they are just people. Like you or me. Sure, some of them are still pretty strange, Chiyo is still a rich genius, and I doubt that anyone is quite like Osaka. But generally they are like normal people. Living normal lives.

But we care about them. We don't want to see them miserable. We don't want to see them split apart. We don't want to see them in the way I have portrayed most of them in my first chapter. This sets the stage. Where the story goes from here might be obvious to my fellow writers, but I think I'll have enough twists to keep them interested.

I will say this. I will not consider this story complete until a "happy" ending can be found for each and every single person. It may not be realistic, but that is what we want. That is what I want. That is what I will write. It is the reason why I put down drama instead of tragedy. I think it's important to have a "real" ending for everyone. I was greatly disappointed with the anime for stopping before we knew how Nyamo's man hunting went, we didn't know what happened with Kaori really except that Kimura is still creepy. We don't really know much of the girls' plans after high school except they went to an amusement park. The last episode was devoted nearly entirely to Yomi getting into the college she wanted.

My goal is, when this story ends, you will feel that it is complete. And will be left with a good feeling.

Chapter 2 commentary.

Well, it's up and, as of writing this, doing pretty well I think. This chapter was pretty fun, it allowed me to really entertain some relationships and build some foundations. It's hard to think of a story that allready has over 6k words as still in the very beginnings but my stories tend to be pretty lengthy.

I'm enjoying Yomi's personality a lot in this. Although, my happiness for how Yomi is turning out is only offset by my disatisfaction with Kagura's. But she's had a lot of crap happen to her so I'm willing to forgive her for now. Maybe someday she'll be a little bit more lively.

Speaking of lively, I've gotten some feedback concerning Chihiro. Being my only dead character (SO FAR?!) I was expecting this and more but let me make a stance perfectly clear.

I only kill characters when I truely believe that they contribute more to the story dead, than alive.

Alive she would be perfect for Kaorin. Alive she would be pretty much happy herself, with someone romantically not missing any of her old friends as she was still with her best friend, and unless I wanted to drop her out of college as well (and with Tomo and Kagura allready doing that, it would seem a little repetitive.) she would probably have a carreer she enjoyed.

Alive Kaori would be pretty happy as well. Again, I can't have all my characters not end up with something they enjoyed doing, being an astronomer just fits with her. It was one of the few defining points from the anime, she liked stars. She wanted Sakaki to join her. She passed up opportunities to go to a private beach line property with her crush to go to camp. It makes sense that she becomes what she enjoyed so much.

So we have two characters who would probably be happy together that I would then need to break apart.

Why? Because if she is happy there is no conflict. If there is no conflict there is no need for a change. If there is no desire to see a change happen to a character then there is no reason to write about it. If there is no need to write about it I wouldn't. If I didn't write about Kaorin then she does not exist as a character. I rather have them be dead then not existing. (and yes, Nyamo, Yukari, and Chiyo will have some time later on.)

I had a few ideas but in the end I wrote "too bad she was dead now." Halfway as a joke tomyself but it fit so well with the chapter that I ran with it. And I'm very glad I did.

I think Chihiro adds a lot to the story this way, it completely redefines one of my characters, partially another, and will effect the entire group. It, in my opinion, adds dramatic tension while conversing about romantic relationships with Kaorin. So I think it fills my criteria of adding to the story better than if she was just another lost friend.

Moving on to my personal review of the chapter, I think it was nothing special. Really, it wasn't. It served its purpose of moving the plot forward but didn't really add any tension or romance or excitement. We have a mysterious phone call to Ayumu that in reality could be anyone from a parent to a wrong number but we know as writers that nothing is typed without a purpose. We know that someone important called. We even have a good idea who did it but you're going to have to wait a week or more before I reveal it.

We also have Sakaki and Kagura realizing that Tomo might be in need of help now that Yomi is out of the picture.

Other than that, the chapter wasn't all that much of a masterpiece. Good writing maybe, stylized and polished better than the last, not a bad chapter but nothing spectacular. We can do better than that now can't we?

Chapter 3 commentary.

Ah Chapter 3. Not much I'd like to comment on this one. Other than the pains of reducing the size of it from 8k down to 4.5k words. I wouldn't have minded the size but it felt like rambling after awhile and I wanted to get more plot-points per minute read.

It has been brought to my attention from an anonymous message that my story is too downbeat, and hard to enjoy. This of course made me smile. Too downbeat? HAH! There are over fifty things I could have done but decided not to. I had thought about killing Chiyo Chan, blinding Yomi, paralyzing Sakaki, and I could go on forever but decided that it would be too much of a "downer." We seek to recreate life through fiction not create fiction through absurdity.

I thought this chapter seemed pretty good though. I particularly enjoyed the Kagura/Tomo scene. I thought it was rather poetic. Not that tooting ones own horn is a good habit, I can't stress how much I LOVED how I am re-uniting all of the group. It makes me almost believe it could actually happen. Suspension of disbelief was a phrase I grew up on. My father used to comment about it in regards to movies. We all knew that what happened on the silver screen couldn't happen in real life, but that didn't stop us from cheering on the hero, hating the villain, and gasping in excitement at all the "close" calls (even though we all knew perfectly well that the character was perfectly safe, and knew doubly well that the actor was in no danger what-so-ever.)

A few things I didn't like though was Osaka's part. Too much history maybe? Seemed superfluous. And in agreement with Berlioz II, I might need to edit/clean up the Yomi/Kaori scene. I'm moving on and going to let fan feedback determine that though. I had to edit it about 2.5 times before publishing it, for some reason it was difficult to write. But I might have a few ideas on how to fix it if it is broken. And if it aint broke I aint gonna fix it.

Moving on, we are introducing a new segment to my chapters to further increase words-per-chapter! I won't stop till I hit 100k words per! Anyhow!

Here's my idea. Character. Letters. I'll allow characters to send me their thoughts on the story! It is inspired off of a fiction I read that I can't remember a single thing about except that he did that at the end, forcing Kaori and Chihiro to make him a penguin suit. Now, I figure I'd treat them as actors as well so I can get their viewpoints on screen-time and whatnot. But also treat them like actors, acting as themselves in a rhetorical alternate dimension where their lives are kinda sucking. It'll be fun!

Chapter 4.

This one is a pain. The title, Cruelty, is going to be the theme. It or Chapter five will signify the end of ACT I. I might do the time warp again and jump a few weeks ahead and to the left, or a step to the right and go a few months for the beginning of ACT II. All of which I could change my mind on at any given time so meh!

As this chapter is going to be important either way, It may take longer before I feel comfortable publishing it. And I warn you, some of you are going to hate me for it. But I have weighed my options, and while I'm sure saying things like "it's the BEST option!" Seems adolescent, it is a good option for my story from my perspective. Since my perspective involves a keyboard and a saved file, my perspective is often the one that will determine what gets typed, saved and published.

I just wish I could tell you all what happens now. Really what I'm doing is kinda cruel, even while trying to give warning. Now anything could happen, I have set precedence for everything. If it is bad it could happen.