Okay, dear god, I just looked at what was here before and was shocked.

Nobody's bio should be over 6 thousand words... NOBODY!! EVEN ME!!

So I'm resolving to make my bio shorter, better and all around the equal of Bio 2.0

Starting with Info About Me:

Eyes: are Green, all the time, not that weird color shifty crap everone else brags about thank you... (though I know several people who'll tell you my eyes look black when I speak of murdering that stupid sparkly vampire bitch...)

Hair color: is as formless as the seasons. It was long and blonde and I looked like Soubi from Loveless but now it's short and black and I look more like Seimei... shudder Seimei is NOT fun...

Gender: Male. I'm a MAN! A MANLY MAN!! No... I lie, I'm a girly, girly seme man... I get so happy when people call me sir at work... I do... it's so sad... Most of the time it's "excuse me miss..." and I'm just like "WHY?! T-T!!" screaming to the heavens... Right.

Current occupation: Part-Time shoes salesman and full-time writer whilst preparing for college entrance exams in the spring... Go me!

Favorite Characters: Oh god... so many... Shikamaru from Naruto was my shrine object at one time and now, currently, Kazuki Jyuumonnji from Eyeshield 21 is, But I might say Allan from DGrayMan is sneaking up on him... (DGM abridged FUCKING ROX!!) Others such as Yumichika from Bleach, Renji from the same thing, and various other usually ignored characters are my favorites. I tend to gravitated towards outcasts... >.> I'm not even going to continue because, as I stated above, I want my bio to be new and improved! And shorter...

Hobbies: Reading, writing, baking, attempting to juggle and failing, generally preparing for a future career in the circus (no, seriously, I want to be in the circus! I've been practicing my knifework and acrobatics! And flaming arrow tricks!) badly playing instruments including but not limited to the trumpet, the piano, the guitar, the bass and the accordion, Also, practicing playing teh clarinet, which I do NOT do badly at. In fact, I freaking rock, I can play the Harry Potter theme even!! Also, driving by myself, eating various Italian foods, reading manga/watching anime as much as possible, and coming up with completely random pairings (such as KiraXKisuke, from Bleach... which, sad enough, is one of my OTPs...)

Speaking of, My OTPs and OT3s:

Bleach: KiraXKisuke, KisukeXRyuuken, RenjiXHanatarou, RenjiXAizen (only non or dubcon.), RenjiXAkon, IshidaXKeigo, IchigoXYumichikaXIkkaku (I know, wtf, right?), ChadXIshidaXIchigo (Hearts!), BenihimeXZangetsu, RangikuXNanao, TatsukiXKeigoXChizuru, RyuukenXIchigo, LisaXAnyone (seriously! She is the most awesome blatantly bisexual person ever! She seems like the type to say 'hey being bi is just increasing your chances of getting laid by 50 percent.' or something!) Grantzcest (zomg! Syzael!!), SyzaelXAizen, SyzaelXNnoitra, GrimmjowXAizen, KanameXJustice (cackles), ect. I'm sure there are others but I really don't feel like listing 'em.

Naruto: IzumoXKotetsu (shut up, I know it's canon!!), NejiXKiba, SasukeXOrochimaru (no, seriously, somebody needs to tell me where I can find a rim!fic with these two, I mean good godfuck, Orochimaru's tongue is like 6 feet long and 3 inches in diameter! I can't be the only person who's thought that!!), KimimaroXAnyone (I think he didn't get the spotlight he deserved for the character he could have been, what with dying in three episodes or so...), KakashiXYamato, SaiXShikamaru, ShikamaruXGaara (I have a thing for these two in AU fic for some reason...), platonic!ShizuneXGaara, GenmaXNeji, NejiXGenmaXRaido, GenmaXRaido (I likle the fics where Rai is hopelessly straight and only using Gen as experimentation, I'm twisted that way I guess...), KakashiXDrunk!Iruka (no other time.), and I just realized how picky I am for Naruto pairs...

Prince of Tennis: Sad enough, I don't know all that code crap, it confused the fuck outta me. I know Royal Pair, Golden Pair, and Genius Pair, but that's the extent. Those are also three of my OTPS, lol... the others are InuiXKaido, InuiXFuji, YuutaXTezuka, AtobeXTezuka, TezukaXFuji, and I'm sure there's more but I already feel like an idiot for not knowing how all that crap works. There needs to be a list or something...

Saiyuki: Omg... I worship the HakkaiXSanzo pair and both GojyoXKougaiji and KenrenXHakuryu are epic win. I like Konzen written in any situation if he's written well and I'm a general slut when it comes to GokuXKou fic... Oh, and I'm a OT4er, you know who for...

La Corda d'Oro: KanazawaXKazuki (I'm still so lonesome!!), and more recently YunokiXRyotaro... yeeeeah... I have to post that already... Also, why are all my other La Corda fics in the Oddly Paired comm but my KanazawaXYunoki one? Is KanaXYunoki secretly a popular pair?!

Rave Master: I heart the SeigXShuda and SeigXMusica pairs. I've also got a thing for ElieXHaruXMusica fics... As long as Elie isn't written like an idiot... or a slut. Elie is awesome...

Ouran High School Host Club: HA! This might take a bit... KyouyaXKasanoda, KasanodaXMori, NekozawaXTamaki, TamakiXMori, KyouyaXMori, HaniXHikaru, RankaXTwins, RankaXKyouya, KaoruXKyouya, TamakiXTwins, TamakiXHaniXMori, HaruhiXZuka Club, RengeXNekozawa, KyouyaXNekozawa, TwinsXNekozawa (due to a certain fic by a certain someone. Acerbus, you know who you are, lol.), NekozawaXClthulu (Meh heh heh...), MoriXNekozawa, KasanodaXNekozawa, ect, ect... this would go on longer if I got into obscure side characters but I'm not...

Gundam 00: I'm a TieriaXLyle shipper. I also like AlleluijahXLockon and am a massive LyleXTieriaXLockon obsessee...

Eyeshield 21: HirumaXJyuumonji. Seriously, does nobody else see this but me?? RuiXHiruma, AgonXSena, UnsuiXSenaXAgon, ToganouXKuroki, KurokiXSena, RuiXAgon, JyuumonjiXAgon, and have you noticed that I haven't put AgonXHiruma yet? That is WAY too much evil for one relationship... I'm pretty sure their coupling would tear a hole in space-time.

Negima!: AsakuraXSayo, AkoXEva, AsunaXSetsuna, AyakaXZazie, and AlberioXTakahata. Cause even in a harem series, I can make yaoi. Fk yes...

Xaiolin Showdown: ZOMG! RaiXJack! No, seriously!! You have to admit, Rai is so damn GAY! And oddly hot! And I love how adorably dumb Evil Genius Jack Spicer is... sigh I miss that show... Oh, and I like ChaseXOMCs, they are fun.

Kingdom Hearts: (you had to be expecting it... I mean, I'm a nerd, obviously I've played it.) ZexionXDemyx, LeonXCloud, LeonXRiku, DemyxXRiku, DemyxXAxel, AkuXRoku!!, DemyxXSaix, LuxordXXemnas, and of course, ZexionXLuxord. No, really.

And of course I have others but I'm getting long-winded again...

Vices: I smoke, on occasion, usually as a nerve response to driving. I like driving, but it still freaks me out to be in a metal thing that could quickly become a flaming metal thing... Damn you Driver's Ed horror videos... I also drink, which is technically illegal but hey, I'm, a writer, it's expected that I do illegal things, Plus, I'm not an alcoholic or anything... If anything I'm a wino... If I got my own place where nobody would buy me cooking wine I'd die... no, seriously, I'd starve to death because I am so used to cooking gourmet... Even my Ramen is freaking awesome...

Religion: I belong to no single religion! Erm... actually, now that I think about it, if I count up all the people I know who are like "you're a god! A God!" maybe I'm my OWN religion? NAH! But then again... -worry, worry- What if I am and I don't know it?! Is there a World Church of Infernum??

Okay, I had other things I wanted to list but I forgot them so I'm just moving on...

Current Projects!:

Call to Kinship: I um... I guess ya'll have read it and um, know I'm not putting up another update till January. I'm also guessing that the lack of reviews is becase you are very angry at me for stopping and think I need to be punished.

I'm sorry...

P is for Psycho (by Puddle of Mudd): P in my Alphabet fics, it's a HirakoXHiyori Bleach fic, and it's written in a notebook I've been madly trying to find... Grr... Also, holy christ on a motorbike! A het pair! Not the first but most certainly the most canon. CURRENTLY SKIPPED BECAUSE I LOST IT!! OH NOES!!

Quotes with Kanazawa and Kazuki: in teh works, I'll have it done soon, basically it's another in my series of fics having to do with KanaKazu in drabble form! This time involving quotes from my fvorite books/movies/abridged series/comics/ect...

R is for Rent (From the Rent: Motion Picture Soundtrack): Once again I'm pumping yet more KeigoXIshida fic onto the internet... Also, blackouts because you didn't pay the powerbill. Nostalgia!!

S is for Shake It: Another Negima fic, this tme SayoXKura pairing with lots of cuteness and such... I actually like it oodles.

T is for Teenagers: T in my alphabet eries, it's a Kanazawa-centric fic and dear god, it's utterly crack. Based on the song by My Chemical Romance, if anyone's heard it. Ha, no, any fan of Naruto's heard it on YouTube to Kakashi's horrified facial expressions... Lol

Missing Conceptions: A serious follow up on the ShokoXKahoko pairing from Coming to a Conclusion, requested by Jero .Lionheart. (You better enjoy this... it cut into my NaNo time...)

Playlist Playah: A drabble collection based loosely on songs I might or might not have been listening to at the time, for La Corda. Chapter 1: Fall for You; KazukiXLen pairing, erm, if you can call what I wrote a pairing...

Don't Fear the Reaper: Honestly, I have no clue where this fic came from, It's a Torchwood/Sandman crossover about how each of the Endless touched Jack's life. Or lackthereof. Yeah, really, I don't get it either.

Of Domination: A completely massive BDSM based fic I'm writing... BACKWARDS! It's Eyeshield 21 fandom with an OMC and all kinds of good stuff. Soon, it twill be here soon... Also, seriously, there is more smut in this fic than any I've written since I wrote that obscenely large Godchild fic... which is currently in isolation on my other computer, apologies...

And I only now realized how much freaking La Corda fic I'm writing... Dear god, it's not even MY fandom, it's Acerbus'...

Things I'm Considering Making Into Projects: I have been deliberating and arguing with myself over whether or not to continue Western from my Genres of Kanazawa and Kazuki fic, I mean It'd be interesting to see where it'd go and I have some ideas for it but I don't really see anyone on here interested in a 'feature' length type story for them yet. If you want it say Aye and I'll work on it and oh dear god! I just got the mental image of Yunoki as a Native Anmerican! The face paint!! Acerbus this is YOUR fault!

Love Slaves:

Acerbus_Equinomin56

Dracoqueen22

AsunaFox

RazzDazz (admit it, you know you are... also there is a shoe named after you or eh, vice versa...)

OnexLostxSoul

Demeter Requiem

and others I don't feel like remembering right now.

And now... Quotes!: Hmn... I'm feeling lazy, I'll put it in later, but because anyone who's seem Pink Flamingos will laugh...

Hold that Goddamn Chicken there!! Heh, Lolz.

No! Do you know how horrible it is for a book to be trapped in a hot car?! It's worse than a child of small dog! Air! They need AIR!!-- Acerbus during one of our conversations... Yeah, bibliophilia at it's worst.

Awwz, you're such an ugly little puppy!

Infernum! That puppy is not ugly! You're gonna give her a complex, stop it!

Nope, look at her, she's hideous! I guess we have to keep her, nobody in their right mind would want a puppy as absolutely ugly as this one!

... Leave the puppy alone. And call her cute damn you!

You're such a good ugly pup!!

AUGH!!-- Me and my mother, I decided to call one of our new puppies ugly because it's A.) fun, B.) true, she's got these weird alien eyebrow things and c.) because it irritated my mother to no end.

Haha, yeah and she said to-- OW YOU LITTLE FUCKER! THAT'S THE THANKS I GET?!

Wait, what?

No! Not that, my fucking puppy bit my nipple! And I was rubbing her back too! You pretty little shit!

-puppy whines in the background-

Um, did I miss something?

I call her ugly all the time so when I call her pretty she thinks it's bad.

... You're a twisted asshole sometimes Infernum... -- me and Mortanym, same puppy too... But yeah, I gave her a complex. Mom hates it cause she'll be like "oh, who's a pretty girl?" and she'll hide her head under her paws and look ashamed of herself. Mehhehhe I'm evil.

Ironically that pup is sitting in my lap licking my thumb as I type now...

Don't worry, the rape will only hurt a little bit!-- From D.Gray.Man Abridged, Episode 2...

Yeah, no, I haven't even read the manga and I watching abridged series... I'm considering a KondaXAllen because of this stupid thing...

Wait, D.Gray.Man? When did you read that?

I didn't.

So... why are you watching the abridged series?

Cause it's awesome!

Oh yeah, I see how it is! When it comes to me wanting to watch new episodes of Bleach you're all like "Oh no hon, I've already read the manga can you wait til latter?" and you blow it off but when it comes to an abridged series you're all fucking over it!!

... Do you think Bleach the abridged series is good?

I hate you. -- Me and my sister talking about my abridger obsession. MasakoX, you are my pimpbitch. GanXingba frisking rocks too, watch his Avatar abridgement, it's fucking hilarious. I wish all abridging was this funny... sigh...

Oh no! He's approaching the captain from behind!

-snort- Wait,What?! Seriously?! -runs to the next room- Oh, it's just Code Geass...

What the hell did you think it was?

Porn. I'm a guy, what did you think I thought it was?

... Porn?

Exactly. And as a yaoi writer I thought what exactly?

Oh my god!! Lelouche you fucking pervo!

Hehe, you see why I don't watch this show really?

-- Me and my sister, again... if anyone remembers the original quote, this is actually after Adult Swim reaired this and the same thing happened again... Ye, I never learn...

Okay, what is the deal with baby angels? Do they vomit lightning or something?

(sarcastically) Yes Acerbus, Baby angels vomit lighting. They also shit rainbows.

SILENCE.

HOLY SHIT!

-both laugh-

-- Me and Acerbus one night after we had been talking about popesex or something... Anyway, Acerbus said "dear god, just saying that killed at least fifty baby angels". Oh no, wait, it was this:

So do angels have dicks or what?

Nope, they don't have dicks, they have to impregnate each other using humans.

Then how do they get humans pregnant?

They use the Shining Dildo. It's the only Didlo blessed by god.

Dear god, you just killed at least fifty baby angels with that...

-- Sometimes I wonder how we come up with this shit.

Things that Anime has taught me:

1.) Hot Models only go for the meglomaniacal serial killers.

2.) Cherry Blossoms always mean something gut wrenching is about to occur, shojo sparkle vomit or horrible murder, either way...

3.) Everything is good until about episode 70.

4.) There is always a yaoi pairing. Always.

5.) Animals, are never normal animals...

6.) Sports seem so much better with ridiculously good looking bishounen.

7.) If you say "wtf is that thing?!" when a new character is introduced, more than likely, it's going to be annoying as hell and never, EVER die.

8.) It's okay to revive characters as long as they're wearing different Wigs. (CLAMP...)

9.) If the main character dies, it only makes the character who's been beside them the whole time, secretly the main character himself, that much more focused. Moral: If you get distracted, Kill your best friend.

10.) More often that not, if the ultimate bad guy killed your family, your best friend's family, and that guy from Kazikstan's family, the other guy you wouldn't expect is totally going to kill him and completely deprive you of your revenge. (Gundam 00! Fuck you!)

11.) Wooden swords make kickass accesories.

12.) If you can heal the sick, feed the poor, and walk on water, you're not Jesus, you're a ninja.

13.) Notebooks are the source of all evil in the known universe.

14.) When eating large ammounts of food that could potentially choke you, never chew, simply scarf it down as quickly as possible...

15.) There is nothing that a Power Rangers refference can't fix!

16.) When running for your life, talk, scream, and do any other distracting thing you want, you'll never trip.

17.) Remember that guy that tried to kil you but said that he was doing it for himself and not the evil organization out to get you? He's going to end up your friend, no matter how much you hate him.

18.) If you get in trouble with your grandparents, 'I was attacked by a demon' is a totally valid excuse.

19.) Skintight fishnet shirts and tight biker shorts in the middle of winter? Why the fuck not?

20.) Nothing, and I mean nothing, is EVER free. But a lot of people trade in eyes aparently.

And yes, that is my own list damn it, everyone else has them so I made my own!