Hey im Emma and im in LOVE with Twilight as you can tell from the name lol. If u have any story suggestions please email me. i wana wright one's that you want to read so feel fee to tell me to edit certain parts lol.

Im 15 and was born on the 1st of February 1994.

I have 1 little sister and im still trying to convince her to read Twilight!! but shes so damn stubborn!

i live on a little island outsde of auckland city called Waiheke Island. great place in summer. i catch the boat to go to school in town cause i hate the one over here.

Waiheke is in New Zealand in case you don't know lol. not many people do so don't feel bad.

I'm 5th form/10th grade/Year 11

My sister is called Hannah and 1 of my good friends is called Bella (how ironic lol) and my 4 best friends are Suzan, Jade and Maddelynne (who lives in Canada) and Samantha!

Love you all and God Bless you xoxo

(yep i'm a Catholic)

What I suffer from: (various medical injuries that I have sustaned.)

OOCD (Overly Obsessive Cullen Disorder)

OED (Obsessive Edward Disorder)

OOBAHD (Overly Obsessie About Alice's Hair Disorder)

AU - Alternative Universe
AH - All Human
OC - Original Character
OOC - Out of Character
IC - In Character
WIP - While in progress
Lemon - Graphic sex scene
Lime - Intense fluff (but not a sex scene)
Fluff - A sweet moment shared between characters (like a kiss)

I always wondered what OOC meant! :)

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

if Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 of Americans and Canadians that is yelling "JUMP BITCH!" copy and paste this in to your profile (screw that! I would push her!)lol i am an evil person!

If the Jonas Brothers were standing at the edge of a 6 story bulding about 98 of amaerican girls would have a nervous breakdown. if you part of the 2 percent how would scream "JUMP IDIOTS JUMP!!" then copy and past this into you profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! ALL THE TIME!! I'M CRAZY! I really hear voices in my head. Mostly something someone said earlier that day.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you. Yea!

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. Yup. I love insanity.

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Willy Wonka~ Darn! And you looked really tasty too!

I don't obsess! I think intensely. VERY intensly no never mind i do obsess!!

All the good ones are either gay, taken or a fictional characters in books or movies. Yes. Edward, my one true love, is both fictional and taken. Maybe if I got rid of Bella...:)

"The dinosaurs’ extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." On top of mount smokey, all bloody and dead lay a purple dinosaur with a bullet through his head!

We're the kind of girls that laugh at jokes three times. Once when it's told, once when it's explained, and once when we finally get it. . .five minutes later Ya thats us!

this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. haha i actually did this!

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.

79 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
38. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
39. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
40. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
41.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
42. Shave.
43. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
44. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
45. One word: Flatulence!
46. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
47. Do Tai Chi exercises.
48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
49. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
50. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
51. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
52. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
53. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
54. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
55. Leave a box between the doors.
56. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
57. Start a sing-along.
58. Play the harmonica.
59. Lean against the button panel.
60. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
61. Bring a chair along.
62. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
63. Blow spit bubbles.
64. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
65. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
66. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
67. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
68. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
69. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
70. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
71. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
72. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
73. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe.
74. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
75. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
76. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, darn it!"
77. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
78. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
79. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

Friend v/s Best friends

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public. BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too. cough Ashley and Sydney cough.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say " HONEY I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

You know you live in 2007 (2008) when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Funny isn't it!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.H.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADHD but sydney does)

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a Bitch well a Bitch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!

Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong,

and Being Ourselves.

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise

And ran to save the two dead boys.

And if you don't believe it's true,

Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Elmo knows where you live! hahahahah BIG inside joke

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

'I need tampons!'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yoursef at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- if you don't ask no one can say no

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

- If trying fails cover up all evidence that you tried.

Top 76 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator They may be numbered wrong this was originally 75 but i copied and pasted and took the time to number. (I know i have two but this one is different that the other one and personally i like the other one.)

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura.

17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

29. Hold an auction.

30. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

31. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

32. Throw a rave.

33. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

34. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

35. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

36. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

37. Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

38. Have a heated debate with yourself.

39. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

40. Drum on every available surface.

41. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

42. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

43. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

44. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

45. Propose to the other passengers.

46. Challenge people to duels.

47. Sell girl scout cookies.

48. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

49. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

50. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

51. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

52. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

53. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

54. Shout "Food fight!"

55. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

56. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

57. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

58. Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

59. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

60. Make sushi.

61. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

62. Shave.

63. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

64. moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

65. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

66. Practice your kung fu.

67. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

68. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

69. Fly a model airplane.

70. Do yoga.

71. Play the accordion

72. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

73. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

74. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

75. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

76. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. then eat it.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" (this one is my fav me and my little sis used to do this its really fun y'all should try it.)

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day when you get your own house i'm going to come in and jump on the furniture, leave the fridge open, and mess with the thermostat!"

this is the sweetest edward and bella paragraph ever read the whole thing really it amazing -

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?
Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?
Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?
Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?
Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Now isn’t that the cutest thing you've ever read! So like Bella and Edward

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the hell am I?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
I

f you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world!

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away (if well aimed).
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist. :P )
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile. (I MEAN COME ON!! I'M A V-A-M-P-I-R-E, THEREFORE HUMAN IDENTIFICATION IF POINTLESS!!)
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on to your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.
If you can connect anything to Twilight, copy and paste this on to your profile.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
By An Unknown Author

Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' (cough-nomadic-vampires-cough)
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents, if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts after using this product.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Being mature is overrated.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!
One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you
"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" (Me: Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!)
If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your best friend's pencils suck, copy and paste this into your profile.
People who say "nothing's impossible" have never tried slamming a revolving door.
If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune...
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa, paste this onto your profile.
If your friends are surprised that you haven't given them A.D.H.D., Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. (Then I fell down the rest of the stairs, that were luckly covered with carpet, and let me tell you: IT FLIPPIN' HURT! I THOUGHT I'D BROKEN SOMETHING.)
If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.
If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.
93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
Anyone giving away a knight in shining armor? Mine turned out to be a loser in tin foil.
Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843
Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901
Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916
Edward Cullen: Sexier, hotter and spicier Than You since 1901
Victoria Cullen: Awesomer, Specialer, and Flat Out Better Than You since 1900
I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you".
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
If you slap anyone who tells you that Edward Cullen is not real, copy and paste this into your profile
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever heard of National Talk like a Pirate Day copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (SUGAR!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.(Every second of every day... And yes, I'm looking at you Ashley.)
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (Still looking at you Ashley.)
If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile. (Yes I'm still looking at you Ashley, but this time you are joined by my greatest enemy named Jacob Black.)
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile,

Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen

A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!”
Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now.”

Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.”
Edward Cullen would say: “The Lion fell in Love with the Lamb”

Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!”
Edward Cullen would say: “Your hair looks like a haystack but I like it.”

A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you.
Edward Cullen would sing you a song he wrote for you while playing the piano.

If you die, a normal guy would find another.
If you die, Edward would kill himself cause life without you isn’t worth living.

As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!”
As you leave the house Edward Cullen would say: “Come back to me, love.”

As you come back to the house, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice.
As you come back to the house, Edward Cullen would be welcoming you by playing the piano with a song just for you.

A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast.
Edward Cullen would make you breakfast everyday.

While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the hot waitress.
Edward Cullen wouldn’t even notice the waitress was a female.

A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio.
Edward Cullen, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and the other attached to yours.

While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.”
While far apart in different places, Edward Cullen would say: “It’s like you’ve taken half myself with you”

A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares.
Edward Cullen would sing until your nightmares went away.
“Do you want me to sing to you? I’ll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.”

A normal guy does it with everyone.
Edward Cullen only does it with one.

A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates.
Edward Cullen buys you a car. (THE BEST PART! HAHA!) -NOT. I'D RATHER HAVE EDWARD THAN A CAR. HAA!!-

A normal guy would constantly kiss you on the lips.
Edward Cullen would rotate between your neck, cheek, collar-bone, and lastly-his favorite- your lips. (hee-hee)

Spread the Stupidity

Copy and paste all of this into your profile :D :D :D :D :D :D

Favorite Food- Sushi

Favorite Color- Green

Favorite Cartoon- Avatar The Last Airbender

Favorite Book- Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Favorite Book Series- Harry Potter

Favorite Movie- Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

Favorite Anime/Manga- Ouran High School Host Club

Favorite Animal(s)- Ferrets, Cats, Wolves, and Snakes

Favorite Actor(s)- Alan Rickman, Jason Issacs, and Tom Felton

Favorite Actress(s)- Evanna Lynch and Helena Bonham Carter

Favorite Male Harry Potter Characters- Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, and Draco Malfoy (same as the actors)

Favorite Female Harry Potter Characters- Luna Lovegood and Bellatrix Lestrange (same as the actresses)

Favorite Anime Movie(s)- Ponyo(coming to theaters soon), Howl's Moving Castle, and Spirited Away

Oh, and I'm also a huge fan of Peter Pan, but that's besides the point.

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae.

.We now have the technology to copy human skin cells to test on for all cosmetics and beauty supplies. If you are against any type of animal testing, post this on your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be doing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm MEXICAN so I MUST belong in a gang.

And Now i must leave you all

xoxo

love you all!!