Husband. Father of two daughters (ages 8 and 6).

Gamester. Go-player. Algorist.

Credo:

I write.
I do not write things that make me sad.
No. I am sad, and from that sadness, I write. I write to cope, and I write to hope.

Neither of which I do very well at all.

Yes. I have no reason to be sad, and no excuses, either. But I am. This is how I am. This is what I am. This is what I write.
I am an unreasonable man, and the world ... well, the world doesn't like unreasonable men, and it doesn't change just because a wish is begging it to.

So I write.

Readership stats

On ffn.net/geophf as of November 30, 2009, 10 am EDT:

Country views readers ratio Δ
1.USA 2.44K 786 3.1 v
2.Australia 513 125 4.2 -
3.UK 222 131 1.7
4.Canada 154 77 2.0
5.Ireland 77 19 4.1
6.Germany 75 45 1.7
7.South Korea 60 6 10.0 v
8.Brazil 54 18 3.0 -
9.Singapore 39 38 1.0 -
10.Italy 36 33 1.1 -

Country Trophies:

Holy Crow: South Korea (double digit ratio)
Improved: UK, Ireland, Germany (improved ratio)

Germany rallied at the end of the month to edge South Korea out of the 6th place position

Reversi: Canada (reversed a downward ratio trend to an upward one)
Kicking butt: South Korea, Australia, Ireland (4.0 or more ratio)
Player: USA, Australia, UK, Canada, Ireland, South Korea, Germany, Brazil, Singapore, Sweden, Poland, Italy (shows up on the top 10)
Top 10er (Nov 2009) USA, Australia, UK, Canada, Ireland, Germany, South Korea, Brazil, Singapore, Italy (on the top 10 at the end of the month)
Comeback Kid: Italy (Got knocked off the list, but then returned)

Latest Musings:

2009-11-24: Suicide is painless? No.

2009-11-22: Vegan vamps? How nice! ... in theory.

2009-11-19: WWED?: "What Would Edward Do?" Huh! I'm actually more and more glad I'm not Edward.

2009-11-17: Dream a dream, perhaps. But please, please, please don't tell it from multiple POVs!

2009-11-13: Friday the thirteenth, so I've got murder on my mind... What are you looking at? Didn't you know Edward was Mac the Knife, the murderer of murderers? Well, then, there you go.

2009-11-11: So, justice or mercy? You've got this guy who's pure evil: Royce. What're you gonna do with him? Eye for eye was an advance, 4000 years ago.

2009-11-04: No I don't hate Edward; No, I'm not fixated; Yes, Rosalie said that; now take the beam out of your own G-D eye, eh?

2009-11-01: For entries for your musing pleasures: story stats on international readership, "Oh, bite me, Edward!" in conventions. Rob't always answers: "Really?" Correctly; MSR obviously has a happily ever after. All stories these days do, right? (Well, except "In my Beginning was my End" by siDEADde); And then there's my entry ... finally ... on her: ... Bella.

Recent Musings:

2009-10-29: Rosalie, again. 'Nuff said.

2009-10-23: Hoo, boy! What a stink! "The new Volturi fight scene is not canonical!" scream 22 million twifans. Is its canonicity its problem?

2009-10-22: "Get a life; it's just fan-fiction" ... so you can objectify people, but that's okay, because "it's just fan-fiction"? So was Mein Kampf.

2009-10-22: "Summry sux; story defiantly better inside; rly; plz read n review" written by a post-grad student in JOURNALISM?! Schools these days. And, sweetheart, it's "definitely," not "defiantly."

2009-09-29: Edward loves Bella, obviously. Who could think otherwise! Hm...

2009-09-19: You reviews. So important. Please keep'm coming.

2009-08-31: Writing, writing, writing. Writing sure is hard work, isn't it? Just ask a writer.

2009-08-02: Ever wonder about Caius? No? Ever wonder why nobody ever wonders about Caius? No? That's just fine with Caius, by the way.

2009-07-19: MSR didn't make the cut for an indie award. Thanks to those who voted.

2009-07-13: My story, "My Sister Rosalie, Book I: Captor" is nominated in the category of "Best Non ExB story line, WIP." Please go to theindietwificawards site to vote for it.

2009-07-08: The latest character study: Jasper. You know, that slacker dude that kind of strikes a pose in fan-fiction because there's nothing for him to do, because he's kind of, you know, just there, right? Well, actually ...

2009-06-10: I have changed the rating and the title of MSR to "My Sister Rosalie, Book I, Captor" (T). Book I does not have any explicit (or, in fact, any real) description of sexual relations, and therefore the material, albeit mature, may be suitable for my teen readers. Same thing for "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" (13ways): I will avoid explicit sexual matters and instead use innuendo. How can I possibly do that for a coven of succubi? Hm. It may be dicey, but I think what is important to our Denali coven is not the sex, but their family. They have been doing this for centuries, so they don't need to get into any particularly prurient details. After all, a vampire doesn't need to talk about how it sucks blood in detail, right?

2009-06-05: Everybody thinks that Rosalie wins the award for … well, I'm a word-mincer, but Rosalie doesn't get much love on this umbrella site. And she's not asking for it, thank you very much. (Or, is she? Hm. Don't read RLT if that's all you wish to think about her.) Yeah, that Rosalie, she's a real Ice Queen, isn't she. Waitaminit! That post is about Irina! Wow, yeah! Didn't she turn in the Cullens to the Volturi? That's really mean, isn't it! Why would she do a thing like that?

2009-05-31: Gee! I wonder what it's like to be a vampire. I sure wish I could be one. It must be really neat to have all those superpowers, right? Um, yeah. Right.

2009-04-28: Waitaminit! You're a guy, geophf? And you're reading Twilight? GUYS DON'T READ TWILIGHT! Oops! Caught me!

2009-04-26: It's a bit premature, but here I send Bella Cullen my fondest wishes on her 19th birthday. Yes, you read that right. Bella is 19, no matter how much she argues that point. Facts are facts. It's a good thing that Edward prefers older BRUNETTE womAn. This so invites the "How to tick off Bella" list: 1. Tanya-Tanya-Tanya. 2. see 1.

2009-04-17: Röslein, röslein, röslein rot. Latest blog entry is a wee bit about Rosalie and her cruelty to her maid and why. In case you were wondering when you read RLT "Her Name: Mother". Read the chapter first, hey? before you read the blog entry and form your own opinion. Did we agree?

2009-04-01: Esmé, the 'mommy' vampire. It surely seems easy for her to dole out the love, doesn't it? But is she getting enough love? How about your mother? Is she getting enough love from you?

2009-03-22: What do infantile spasms (IS) and Twilight have in common? Well, a stretch, but my god-daughter Marissa has IS, and I write Twilight fan-fiction. So, this site was linked in by Marissa's Day from his blog.

2009-03-10: While you're (still) waiting for your Twilight movie DVD preorder to come through, go get and watch the movie called Låt den rätte komma in. Because why? Because I said so! Really, watch it ... right now: you'll thank me for my exhortation.

2009-03-08: Extra, Extra! Read all about it! Twilight is despoiling our college-age youth! Sigh! why is it that just because something is big, even if it is innocuous — or ... dare I say it? even good! — that it must be shot down because it's obvious the cause of all our troubles? Look! Twilight is popular! That must be why the economy is so bad and our youth is slothful, ... even though they aren't!

2009-03-08: The "fan fiction story that everyone must read"? "One Dozen Roses", obviously. Well, that's just according to me, but my cara spoza likes getting roses, too ...

2009-03-03: Have a need to go shopping? Go ask Alice. But maybe there's something more to the short pixie-like vampire than she lets on?

Happy St. Valentine's Day, martyr for the Faith. What better day than to have a post about our Rose! And are roses red? I think not!

Strongest twilight character? Do you take ties? If yes, then Bella and Emmett share first place. "Emmett?" you exclaim, "Sure he's physically strong, but there's not much to the big, dumb ox, really. Why pick him?" Um, might I offer a counter-argument? That is, besides the shouted-in-a-blazing-saddles-tone: wroooong! If you don't allow ties, then I choose Janus. You know, Janus the two-headed God: Bella-and-Emmett.

Yeah, I don't cave easily.

For those of you who think Bella is a weak character, I would refer you to my latest thesis, but I can't, as it is an incomplete work. I'm only on page twenty of that dissertation and have not yet published it. So I'll just have to repeat the: wroooong! and hope you catch a few cluons.

Counter-arguments for the strongest Twilight character being Rosalie and Leah gratefully accepted. And those you who wish to back Esme or Sue Clearwater, I have only this to say: you cannot go wrong when you stand up for Mom!

Olds:

I am in awe of you, dear writers. The fanfiction lovingly crafted by your skillful and assured hands is top-notch.

I love the histories, even if they occur post-BD: Edward's in Green, Red, and Gold, Alice's and Jasper's in Mandi1's "You Kept Me Waiting", Carlisle's encounter with Edward in This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am Well-Pleased (do yourself a favor: just go to the Medicine Wheel site), Rosalie's Revenge as a Cicatrix (finally, the honest and terrifying consequences of immortality), and a little bit of the Forks High School boys and their highjinx in Facing the Music.

Intermezzo: I have a question. Why do authors of such wonderful stories disappear and take their works with them? Mandi1 disappeared for a while, taking "You've Kept Me Waiting" and now is republishing that work, and now Segolily's gone with "Green, Red, and Gold," a wonderful, wonderful story that deserves to be read, but now it's gone. Why do people light a lamp and hide it under a vessel like that?

Character studies are also a few of my favorite things to read: Perceptions about Sarah and Demetri, Hopeless Case and The Waiting Game about our good Chief Swan, and From Where I'm Standing about many characters, but I highly recommend chapter 12 about Lauren. Yes, Lauren. And, as you seen from my reading and writing preferences, I've fallen, hard, for Rosalie: Of Vanity and Envy captures the pre-vampire Rosalie perfectly.

I have a guilty fondness for the Quileutes, thanks to the wonderful fanfiction about them: Leah's When Your Broken and then with Jasper in Cowboys and Indians, Jacob's Chasing You, Sam and Emily's Beauty, the Beast, and Quil and Claire's Dear Diary (then, juxtaposed, by the same author, no less with Broken)

I have a severe weakness for fluff-fics, particularly the ones that refuse to relegate the characters to their stereotypes, particularly the ones that do not shy away from meeting serious issues head on when they do bubble up from the funny moments. Many fluff-fic moments occur, not so surprisingly, in the gym, given Bella's difficulty with coordination, but the Cullen and Hale children must play a subtle hand here, often with amusing results, as we see from The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Edward in PE.

I'm hesitant about AU, but there are some that I love: Too Late by jayeliwood, Of Curses and Cures by SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, (just barely AU) One Dozen Roses by Angel Ren (which gets the "geophf's most reread" award), and, darkly, The Past Comes Back to Bite You, which appears unfortunately stalled for the moment.

I love Esme. I'm glad I do, because Esme gives out the love, unconditionally, but it seems she gets hardly any back. She's just this taken for granted ... mommy vampire. So, I'm glad that the story Snapshots is there for her, because our Esme needs a little love, and this story gives her more than just a little.

My current projects were focussed around the Denali family. I've been inspired by runaway xo's Lilly and Lucas (introduced in her story Alaska), and so, with her permission, am including Lilly in a set of stories (Chautauqua) relayed by Kate, who's characterization I draw strongly (and with permission) from Eowyn77's Fair Game. I am also writing about Lilly and Lucas going to Denali Borough Tri-region school, because the set pieces are perfect: a 13-year-old boy snatched from the streets finds himself in a foreign land, going to school for the first time in his life. His girlfriend is a bit of a brain, has a bit of a temper, and, oh, she's a vampire. These stories are episodic, and will be coming out, when the come out. The issue with their release is that I seem to jump around a bit in the narrative, and have begun writing these stories from the middle out.

I write that my current projects were focussed on the Denali coven, because now "My Sister Rosalie" (MSR) has entirely consumed me, along with its companion piece, "Rose by a Lemon Tree" (RLT). And to think, I began writing this story as an offshoot of a Lilly origin story ... The places rabbit trails will take you if you follow them!

Now it is time for me to thank you, my dear readers. Today, January 14th, 2009, this site has passed 1000 hits (and Jan 29th sees 2000 hits). With over ten reviews (now thirty) for my serial "My sister Rosalie" (MSR). Thank you, readers, for your interest, and thank you, reviewers, for your thoughts that are complimentary, critical and constructive.

Awards: (to you, that is, not to me. My reward is to serve the greater good. And stuff)

Actually, I feel a bit like a vampire now: I getting my (storytelling) vitality from your reviews. I never expected that. I expected to write my stories for me to read, so I am surprised that you find something in them as well. In gratitude, I recognize my more than several anonymous readers. Thank you! And I herein below recognize my reviewers with virtual trophies. These trophies will be updated with each new review I receive (that I check on, I don't check fanfic notifications every 3 minutes, you know! I've got stories to write and stuff! Well, actually, ... I do check every three minutes. Is that sad? Like I said: reviews ARE-TO authors AS blood IS-TO vampires; a bit of abductive analogical reasoning for ya!)

"Most"s trophies:

Most recent review: Massrié, Tue 12/01/09 3:05 AM, MSR, ch 52 ("A Hair")

Most reviews: EclipsedbyJacob, total: 49
Most first reviews: Spirit Of The Pheonix, total: 24
Most words in a review: Roonie, 517 words, MSR, ch. 20
Most words in a reply to a review response: Roonie, 1122 words, RLT, ch. 6
Most reviews for "My Sister Rosalie" (MSR): twilighter4ever-ec4e, total: 39
Most reviews for "Rose by a Lemon Tree" (RLT): EclipsedbyJacob total: 18
Most reviews for "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" (13Ways) - tie: EclipsedbyJacob and Spirit Of The Pheonix at 7 reviews each

β ("beta") trophies:

tersaseda 3 trophies, Typo found, MSR, ch 10, ch 11 (x2)
edward-bella-harry-ginny -ebhg 1 trophy for sp of "envelope" throughout Bella's One Fear
Justine Lark 2 trophies for correcting canonical errors in my "Does Edward Love Bella" diatribe on my blog (it was a wrecked plasma TV, not piano, and "Riley" not "Reilly")

First review trophies:

Massrié 4 trophies for first review, MSR, chs 52, 49, 40, 35
Avarenda 3 trophies for first review of MSR, chs 51-50, 44
twilighter4ever-ec4e 3 trophies for first review MSR, ch 48, 33, 32
Spirit Of The Pheonix 24 trophies for first review 13Ways, chapters 7-2, RLT chapters 18-14, 12, 11, 7, 5 and MSR, chapters 47-45, 43, 38-36, 34, 31-28
EclipsedbyJacob 1 trophy for first review 13ways, ch 1
dearalice 3 trophies for first review MSR, ch 42, 41, 39
Master of the Boot 6 trophies for first review MSR, chs 15, 14, 3, 2, and RLT ch 13, and 13ways, ch 4
Roonie 5 trophies for first review of MSR chapter 27, 24 and RLT chapters 6, 4, 3, 2, 1
tersaseda 2 trophies for first review of MSR chapters 26, 11
life takes time for Bella's One Fear
Blood Red Diamond 8 trophies for first reviews of MSR chapters 25, 20, 19, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4
inuyouko 4 trophies for first reviews of MSR chapters 18, 17, 13, 12
ljv 1 trophy for first review of MSR chapter 10
Marie-Eliza 2 trophies for first reviews of MSR chapters 9, 1
princesscupcake 1 trophy for first review of MSR chapter 21
katlynessa 2 trophies for first review of MSR chapter 23, 22

The following chapters of MSR have yet to be reviewed: N/A.
The following chapter of RLT has yet to be reviewed: N/A
The following chapter of 13Ways has yet to be reviewed: N/A

Reviewer trophy: AngelssToday, Avarenda, ayachan1412, BigDaddyBall, Blackcatwitchgirl, Blood Red Diamond, carolinacrc, Chalger, city bookworm, dearalice, DropBears, dumisalive92, EclipsedbyJacob, edward-bella-harry-ginny -ebhg, hotlyinfatuated, I Have Cullenism, inuyouko, irunwithvampires3, Justine Lark, life takes time, ljv, Lola, Marie-Eliza, Massrié, Master of the Boot, nobing, OstentatiousQuerida, persephonesfolly, princesscupcake, PurpleSilver, Rise-N Seraphim, Roonie, Safaia Bara, Shideh, Sigma1, sk4rd, Spirit Of The Pheonix, tersaseda, twilighter4ever-ec4e

... and the Royal Flushes (that is: the reviewers who have left reviews for every chapter of multichapter stories):

My Sister Rosalie: n/a (this one is up for grabs, people; who will be the first?)
Rose by a Lemon Tree: EclipsedbyJacob
Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird: EclipsedbyJacob and Spirit Of The Pheonix

Specialty trophies:

Runner (3 or more reviews in a row): Avarenda (5), EclipsedbyJacob (22), hotlyinfatuated (3), Master of the Boot (41), Spirit Of The Pheonix (5), twilighter4ever-ec4e (23)

Sandman (stops a runner): Avarenda (stopped EclipsedbyJacob at 3 reviews then at 8 reviews, then stopping twilighter4ever-ec4e at 6 reviews, and then stopped hotlyinfatuated at 3 reviews), EclipsedbyJacob (stopped Avarenda at 3 reviews then at 5 reviews), hEAvEN's REjects (stopped EclipsedbyJacob at 22 reviews), I Have Cullenism (stopped twilighter4ever-ec4e at 8 reviews and then at 23 reviews), Justine Lark (stopped twilighter4ever-ec4e at 4 reviews on RLT), Massrié (stopped Spirit Of The Pheonix at 3 reviews), sk4rd (stopped Master of the Boot at 41 reviews), Spirit Of The Pheonix (stopped EclipsedbyJacob at 8 reviews and then at 3 reviews).

Referrer (refers another reader who leaves a review): sk4rd (referred DropBears), Lion in the Land (referred Master of the Boot), Justine Lark (referred edward-bella-harry-ginny -ebhg)

Twisted Arm (actually reads my stories from somebody's recommendation, dual of Referrer trophy): DropBears, Master of the Boot, edward-bella-harry-ginny -ebhg

Uplifter (gives geophf an attaboy when he's crying in his hefe weizen): sk4rd, Spirit Of The Pheonix, Lion in the Land

Good Sport (takes my tirade on the chin, but judo's it aside and still keeps reading, commenting and reviewing): Massrié, Master of the Boot, EclipsedbyJacob

Muse (inspires me to publish something somewhere): Avarenda (2), EclipsedbyJacob (3), Eowyn77, Justine Lark, Lion in the Land, Massrié, Master of the Boot (3), Roonie (2), Spirit Of The Pheonix (3), twilighter4ever-ec4e

Code V (5 or more reviews total) (hey, this is a new one, and retroactive, if your name is missing, please let me know!): Avarenda (15), Blood Red Diamond, dearalice (5), EclipsedbyJacob (49), inuyouko, Massrié (14), Master of the Boot (44), princesscupcake, Rise-N Seraphim (18), Roonie, Spirit Of The Pheonix (42), twilighter4ever-ec4e (43)

"geophf review" trophy (must continue the review on a PM as the review exceeded the character count): Spirit Of The Pheonix (7), Rise-N Seraphim

"I win" (disproves geophf's position): Lion in the Land (3), Massrié

canon (cites canon appropriately): Lion in the Land, Massrié

If you wish to see your name in (geophf's) lights, submit a review. If you don't and wish to review or if you wish to see your name removed from my site, PM me: I'll replace your fanfic name with 'anonymous'.

Again, thank you readers and reviewers; you are life-blood for my stories!