Introduction About Myself:

I would say I have a variety of stories I love to write, and I have many childhood movies that will never die. I enjoy Jurassic Park since I was younger in the days where I said dad,and mama as my first words. There was something in me that just wanted to create a whole new concept of Jurassic Park, and hell yeah I did. It's popular in the Jurassic Park sections, and it receives good feedback from most. I love it, and its my personal life long movie series of all time.

I'm also an AVP fan which is odd considering I love dinosaurs, which goes from the past to the future on Earth. I find that peculiar as most don't have that sort of range, and can write decent stories to begin with. Maybe it was the section I read first that got me into it a few years back. Quite amazing how time can fly when you start at the tendering age of 14 in writing. Over the years I look back, and my time to finish these are soon. It's just based on life I guess, or I'm somewhat lazy to think thoroughly. Who knows eh?

I also like anime, though I am not a fanatic unlike some people in this site who believe this should be incorporated in reality. Anime is fiction, and just a series of cartoons but some have a realistic background, and can be pretty convincing. I like Naruto but do not take it seriously, as I have that with Claymore. In my mind I like these two animes together as a similar time-frame of swords, elemental energy, supernatural junk, and so forth. There's just something that gets motivated to have a shinobi kill the hell out of a demon, and yet be mysterious all the while. I like Character depth, and build ups as the small quick Gun Ho thing doesn't suite me. I'll read it but not be motivated to right something like that I suppose.

About me In General:

Tall roughly 6'0 now.

Caucasian

Fit for most men my age because of my stint in the US Armed Forced tended to that.

Hazel eyes that are on the greener side nowadays.

Young: I'm 19 and counting to the Big Two One.

Personality: Well I'm one of those people who practically get along with everyone. I rarely hold grudges since personally its kind of against my personality. I'm a nice person to chat with. I take advice to heart and when it includes my writing I focus on the advice to improve it in any way possible. If you want a name your not getting it.

Other Gaming Accounts: This is primarily if anyone wishes to contact me, or perhaps just face me in other games. I have some other games i play routinely to get me loose. So if any have a few of these games perhaps you'll face me down the barrel of a sniper, or maybe dueling magic with. I don't know anything about anyone but I do know i maybe have fought some of you out there without realizing it. So if your bored, or want to chill out I'm on these often Online, and battling for what not I don't know either. Pretty much anything with "Maru..." is basically me.

Combat Arms : Maruson310

Battle of the Immortals: MaruKingz

Borderlands: MaruKingz

Alliance of Valiant Arms(AVA): Maruson310

Xbox Live Gamertag: Marutectz711

List of Challenges or Idea's for other Authors to attempt if they have trouble in starting out with basic skeleton format story.

The Malice of the World

A little challenge for an author who is not really lacking imagination but merely drive for a plot to work up on. Something rather simple as you read but when you decide to envelop yourself in this, the world will not be a black and white for the Narutoverse. Personally what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger in my opinion. In essence this will be the story were deception, greed, honor, duty and cruelty become what a Shinobi is. The one of the shadows, to obey and just to obey the order given from the leader. What I'm doing is making the Militaristic

Society of the Hidden Village come to the light of this site, let yourself be submerged in the shoes of the Protagonist.

So here's the skeleton of the plot:

(1.) Naruto has become more subdued from the village more than ever, times are changing as he looks at the villagers seeing them scurry with their normal lives always knowing that demons beneath those 'kind' faces are but naught to rise against him. So he's very paranoid.

(2.) The young Jinchuuriki is very interested in the arts of Genjutsu but has the ideal desire to master a blend of elements because he saw some Jounin(Grey character) practice at a training ground outside the village. Due to the encounter Naruto wants to see if he can literally combine Water and whatever element he has, so he has a drive to become a dual ninjutsu specialist. Note the water element was an example so it has to be on the major five plus his own when he discovers it down the line. How you do it, well asking an elder Ninja for some advice could prove rewarding good or a ticket for the Hokage.

(3.) Naruto is not some ultimate god like thing, if you wish to make him on (estimation)paper strong like when he graduates the Academy he's Chunin strength then that is the ideal goal for it, so when he reaches another promotion of a year or two down the line he'll likely be Jounin or maybe Kage if you make it realistic in that sense. So remember his drive is what makes him stronger. Let it be paranoia of the village wanting to get him or wanting to get stronger to defend himself. Whatever it does to it.

(4.) This is back to his darker childhoods, there has to be an event where something happened to him where he's developed PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: look it up) that his personality is really quieter from his canon self, if you wish for him to do pranks make it a darker aim in what he does. Honestly if you have a prominent scar on his face, it'll be very simple for him to remember this. (I'm a fan of scars on his face, I found it simpler for authors to get it done but the scenes in what they make it happen are extraordinary)

(5.) Another potential bonus, have Naruto be adopted or better yet sheltered by a clan you don't normally see in the anime/manga often. A clan where you can explain in-depth lives of, I'm recommending the Abruame Clan or maybe even the Nara because you hardly see them. Use Logic, Political Moves, foreshadowing into this if you want it to happen. I beg of anyone go in depth with details, don't be worried if it seems strange because the lack of information on these clans is alright.

Use Common sense, get some help from really imaginative authors who have great thoughts. Don't be shy about it, there's only two outcomes: They say No or Say Yes.

(6.) Are you willingly to make the Third Hokage and Danzo neutral characters in terms of using the Jinchuuriki to improve the village through their ideals. Intelligence and potential in the greatest game of human chess! Doing deeper into the core of the dark-side of Shinobi, Danzo the Ne(Root) Vigilante protecting the village as it's hidden Blade, the Shadow Ops where rules hold no bound? Or will Sarutobi the Third Hokage, Leader of the Official side where threats are signed to be dealt with under his permission?

Leaders of views on opposite sides with one goal: Keep Konoha the strongest of the world.

If you want some examples of these characters(Look) Weight of the World by Puffdadder The Sensei by HollowRedBlood Scorpion's Disciple by nobody102 Patriot's Dawn/Hurricane Suite by The Pro Naruto the Specialist by Vaanarash The Nidaime's Heir by adrien Skywalker

(7.) Will you make Naruto the Leader of the Leaves, where destiny and fate slowly bring him down the path of leadership? Will he be the Villian of becoming a Missing Nin to escape the spiders web or will he become the Vigilante with the Roots of the Great Tree, becoming an heir of shadows? Akatsuki looming, will he start anew and create a village of his own to power his ambition to become a world where all Jinchuuriki will stand against the threat of humanity itself?

Many possibilities in one is who bring the Next Coming of the World, a child of destiny making the world into something anew.

(8.) Go indepth when you start Naruto's ninja carreer, it's just like the Military in whatever country today. There is no simple Assault support, defense or even mopping the floors. There are many things in this society you can create, logistics, Administration, Diplomacy, Engineering, Ninjutsu Dualist, Genjutsu Supporter, Taijutsu Instructors, Hunter Squadrons-Platoons to Divisions, DO NOT make all ranks the same generically, everyone is specialized to a degree in a subject.

Get into the Medical Fields because Medic Nin are so underrated, Naruto could show an interest perhaps: maybe Kabuto as an interesting teacher could make his views onto his 'student'

(9.) Speculation, Political Gains and the endless web of half truths are the true evil of the council, the Civilian Side is merely puppet heads of the Clan Heads which include the reason why the Third couldn't disband them after the Kyuubi attack but he's somewhat approving of thinking that 'average civilians' have the guise of power over there own people.

Think in today's terms when the President Appoints a cabinet or even figure heads are put in place.

(10.) Pairings: Why would any clan Heirless want with the orphan, why are all the clan heirs in the same class and what is the truth of the Namikaze? I do not mind pairings but if you want to do something like Hinata, please don't even try it. I get tired of that pairing so much I feel like punching the person who even considered putting these two together, I just really can't see it ever happening.

Do something rather intriguing as well: Could a Foreign Shinobi capture the heart of our Protagonist, foreign relations in the long run or maybe something more? (Oto: Tayuya, Kumo, Iwa, Kiri and or even something else?)

(11.) Personality of the Shinobi: think of Professional Soldiers today, formal towards civilians and to each other are very stern with rules. Saluting or even giving light respectful bows to people of higher rank, none of this simple bull where they act like hoodlums, you DONT see Soldiers in public view in full Uniforms acting like goofballs often.

(12.) Always have a bigger foreshadowing behind Naruto or anyone's path, everything has a reason for happening and for Naruto to grow something will happen because of pressure. Loom of wars, potential political decisions and even more so the fate of a country against the world again.

(13.) If you want even more of a challenge: Konoha is at War with either Kumo or Iwa and a brush fire war has started up when an incident by the aggressor (Iwa) was deined when their Shinboi literally destroyed an Outpost on the border without orders but the Kage of that Nation will not do any harsh reparations against his soldiers. For example handing them over to Konoha who become enraged enough to invoke this Declaration of War making the world watch in shock to see them furious, Iwa Against Konoha in another Grudge Match of the Century.

Maybe Naruto could be used here literally in all the things above, The Malice of the World becomes Real.

(14.) ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS/HELP IF YOU WISH TO DO THIS, I WILL NOT TURN ANYONE AWAY FROM THIS.

Summary: They say whatever turns about to be, always once had a choice. Well things can have a choice for a price, an eye for an eye or better yet one life for thousands? Many have found that to be so, to make a great change a life must be altered so great to withstand the change of time. Fate decrees this but what will One boy have a say against fate, everything and stand up against the one thing that the world demands of him: Malice.

Ok that's that, Now if some are wondering in why I can't right this, I have too many stories to write, and keep up with, maybe if all my stories were completed I would try this, though I want someone to have the guts or the balls to do a realistic Naruto, its doesn't have to be a masterpiece I WILL ALLOW MULTIPLE authors to write this under different titles, just basic guidelines.

This is a challenge to any author who can't come up with ideas or wants a challenge.

Prequel to Proeliator of Rutilus Diluculo Challenge

This is a story that I'm truly not very comfortable with in letting a person do this, personally I think it's too early to really come up with something of this caliber. All in all this is just one challenge that I highly recommend you think to yourself very seriously. Due to not one, not two but three PM's requesting me to develop a prequel since the author's in question politely, curiously, and had interesting justification to create this. Personally again I think it's too early but this is something I'm telling to an author who wants to create an epic novel here, this is no fucking bullshit or beginning author's challenge now. I'm letting all people who read this not take this lightly, I value experience, imagination, and telling of the story to be in a character's shoes at this point. To begin I'm listing off the skeleton here to follow, this is not something I'm going to take lightly on, you better be ready to write at your fullest with a your "thinking cap" or mental power or that piece of fucking organ of a brain you have. I'm not offending anyone here but I'm fucking serious on this matter now...

(1.) This story will NOT begin with the basic cheesy "Kyuubi attacks Konoha with the Yondamie on Gamabunta's back" if you even tempt that opening I'm shooting you down. Don't even pull the random fucking "Mob" thing please, too many of that happening. If you want an example of a good opening read the prolog's the following stories here for some creative inspiration, literally. "Houses of the Holy", or "Nine Tail Serpent", or if your ademant on the Kyuubi Minato opening, "God of Illusion, Birth of the Devil's Arm." If you want use the manga's revelation of the sealing, and birth of Naruto with Madara attacking go on ahead make it good. This is not a walk in the park here my friends, these trio are just some of the best I have in my favorites, look in them before attempting this now.

(2.) Naruto will be slightly AU, he's just a year older here now. Why? With that one year the rookie nine are not aware of the fact of the Kyuubi attack on their age group, this allows more room for something to occur now. With the fact that Sasuke is a year younger since I stated in my "Proeliator" that the blond was the elder of the two, Itachi elder to them as it went on. This creates a lot of time to develop a bond here between Itachi, and Naruto though it won't be borderline insanity here. Take your time, let the chapters be months instead of a time skip again look to those stories up top for some guidiance here. If not check others that are that are great. Everything is bumped one by one year, and one alone. A LOT of things can happen in that lone year...

(3.) Now when the scene for Itachi comes, it won't be saved from the Mob, or not even the lone Clan Member going insane with hatred, oh no no. I want you to make this out of the box here yet making it more entirely not unreasonable now. Naruto meet's Itachi out in the forest where he trains or you can make it accidental that the young container see's the Uchiha prodigy doing his ANBU or Jounin (if I remember what his rank was at age 7?) Simply put make Naruto just awed at the elder preteen's skills of a shinobi. Please make it well descriptive in how you would see it first hand, and I ain't talking about "All there was a brief wind, and the sound of kunai's clashing together." Please make it as if it was in real life, I implore you now on that matter.

(4.) Just to be Clear Naruto will have a fascination with Genjutsu due to Itachi who is well gifted at creating them, and we all now at some point the man unlocked the Mangekyo Sharingan with Tsukyomi. Again if you want a lesson schooled from a ninja read "Houses of the Holy". The chapter were Pein, and Naruto in that story have that first lesson. I hold a lot of respect for that story, and still hope to whatever thing out there for it to be updated again. If that doesn't help, "God of Illusion, Birth of the Devil's Arm" on getting information on genjutsu here or create you own. I hold tremendous respect for these two author's without a doubt on the matter, when it comes to bringing the complexity of ninjutsu arts to reality here.

(5.) As to how Naruto lose's his eyes, its going to be during the Uchiha Massacre. You can have Itachi act strange around his brief "student" when the Mangekyo incident comes around with Shinji or whoever the friend of Itachi was. It has to be along the lines of where Naruto is near the Massacre as it is. You can have that clince thing where he goes to it untimely but go out of the box with it, making him studying chakra signatures, genjutsu or chakra control I don't know something like that. One Uchiha or some random civilian Uchiha ninja, or MP can slice his eyes out due to the fact he was there. You have to make it like your going to be like, Oh my god that he gets there at the wrong time, wrong place, and the wrong person with the mentality of blaming something so irrational half dead or not. It can be a random civilian or ninja as a collateral during that night...

(6.) Now when his eyes are out, Itachi can come in along seeing this happen. Make him go Ape shit as he views Naruto as both the heir to Kushina, and Minato. I know for a fucking fact that Itachi has met Kushina, you all know that's possible along with the Fourth Hokage Minato himself. I know that the former container was friends with the matriarch of the clan Mikoto I think her names was. So add that in to the factor before the poor fucker who cut the eyes is dead. For the eyes it is one of the best friend who Madara allows his pupil to keep, and his lover as a reminder of his mortality or something along those lines. Justify, and make it well thought out now, please I beg you on that...

(7.) The Kyuubi's powers here that I didn't mention with the fascination with Genjutsu here is that of Kitsune. I want to make the Fox have the powers of the mind, cause if the formation of a "Jyuubi" here is right the nine tails has the eye component to make the create even cast the damn eternal night illusion on the moon. The whole concept of creating earthquakes or Tsunami's it can be due to the fact of the large tails or the demonic energy on Nature. That is grey territory, what I mean by grey is that there is little info to really grasp that. It's pretty mind racking, it can cause headaches which I can vouch for, a lot...

(8.) Ok now for Danzou, and Sarutobi these two people are not defined as "good" and "evil ". Both of these men I consider to be the grayest of characters since they work in parallel for the story but with different methods here. I know for a fact that Danzou with his "Ne" Faction of ANBU are not after Naruto's life here. It's utter Bull shit in some stories others just have some point to extend the plot. These men have factors not just the whole, "Minato I failed your promise" or "I want the perfect living weapon" ideas. Think of modern politics of what the gains of having a rich, successful, political family, and a soldier or warrior on your side to run things. Naruto is the heir to the "Namikaze" and "Uzumaki" clans here. A big One Two punch of sealing, and powerhouses here. Both men want Naruto in Konoha for a basic idea, "Keep the village strong" methods are a mute point, it's the mark that counts. Think of politics and some of the utter shit both Democrats and Republicans spew in congress. Alliances will be made to get Naruto under their thumb, you can he's the knight in chess so to speak.

(9.) Now for the future during till he meets Emiko. Naruto's level of strength I will ask to be Chunnin to Middle Chunnin due to him rigorously searching for ways to improve his combat. I recommend you come up with a chapter of two getting him into the new life of his since the entire village will blame him for the Massacre since he was found near the body(s) pending your decision again. This is where the whole time frame till he meets Emiko, which can around age 10. All the rookie nine are age 9 so you have about three years or so for them to graduate. Age is 12 now, but Naruto is a prodigy he'll have to be a Genin, solo with teams of Chunin or other existing OC teams for missions. Again think Political moves on this matter, keep him under surveillance. The ANBU trailing him are professional, and completely can neutralize Naruto without too much effort in a team. These are the "Elite" and the Black Ops now, don't make them fucking die instantly, there's a reason why there around.

(10.) For Emiko make a very through back story here, I did mention her parents were non Konoha natives, and the village did not openly accept her as an orphan. She has friends, and how they live their lives is up to you, I'm being serious for the matter. Don't blow this off else why would there be a reason why Naruto think of himself before his eyes were cut out, she's basically a reincarnation of him. Hell you can make them distant relatives for stunning revelation, or make her from Kumo to essentially blow my mind while keeping it within reason. "The Raikage" Use that story for an author who is probably the most diverse creator of OC characters ever. Simply wow, oh wow.

(11.) Just to be clear, ANBU are not push overs ever. You can have Yuugao be one of the routinely members to track him, I think it'll be interesting with Kakashi to see how his sensei's son is becoming. More drama or horror of the character.

(12.) Now when ever you have Naruto's daughter Emiko killed, this is something I bet not a soul can realize. The most dangerous of political game, the murder, and it's a the unknown third part. Yes A third party of extremists be it Civilian or Shinobi Council to see their greatest soldier, pawn political ally, or savior be potentially swayed away to go back to the home country of the adopted child, or ward. The ramifications of this third part please be in detail, and to pay one of their one be it "Ne" or "ANBU" or "Jounin" to kill the daughter of Naruto Namikaze. They think it will eliminate the possibility of him leaving the village of course Danzou and Sarutobi try to do damage control. Basically when Naruto see's it...He goes fucking omega Ape Shit on that building burning it to the ground, and oh please make it story turning moments of such.

(13.) As for when he joins Akatsuki I'll be expecting well thought out characters, plans, and potential for Madara when he hears about all of this. Although before Naruto officially comes out of hiding from the shadows Madara and Itachi will train him on subjects of their profession. Sealing, illusions, and their views on humankind. I have counties frequently mentioned in my Proeliator story, and I implore you do them in a series of fours years when Naruto hits the age of 17, and 18 to have the Biju collected in that span. For him to survive the sealing of the Kitsune, and how he gets these mysterious gifts you and I will be speaking about it. I will have versions made out when you wish to send yours in to me.

(14.) The ending of the story will be this, a spoiler for my story right now. The biju come together, the Raikage comes around you know that drill disrupts it. A black hole sucks Naruto into it while saving Madara from being killed off, I implore you make it in first person view on his final moments before "dying" make it graphic, and painful on the matter for him. After this do a short epilogue of him arriving in the forest tired, exhausted mentally to fight bandits. Give it a few hours before he sleeps, and moves to see that there is a village from where he is, then end it. Simple as that...

This is something I'm letting my leniency of my consciousness in letting someone do this, this is something you need to make a blend of reality, and impossibility. This is for author's who are great, and want to have that spark to start a whole new concept of Naruto or whatever story genre. To have others follow in their writing paragraphs for years or months in truth. It's that surge where an novelist creator knows he's ready to face that challenge of leaving behind a legacy, a legacy of words.

Contact me, if you wish to start the first chapter and I will be expecting a rough draft to inspect first off before my answer on starting the journey of it...

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _"
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

(respect this passage above, born in 1993 and loved all the years till 2004)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen

Claymore X Naruto: Naruto has arrived to the verse of Claymore, alone he has little idea how he had entered such a land. Prepare for a Naruto who is silent, deadly, and powerful. Full of intellect he will pited against forces that he has little idea to expect. An interesting idea that I was given by a friend of mine from school to write out, and he enjoys Claymore, and with Naruto Crossovers he kind of bet me to do it, and well here I am. This is a Naruto who will be extremely OOC due to being Trained partly by (My favorite character) Itachi Uchiha, so yeah enjoy that one.

Naruto's Known Weapons:Kunai, Shruiken

Naruto In Cloak With Hair down : Naruto

Poll Results for Proeliator of Rutilus Diluculo Akatsuki Members:

(Chapter 14: The Road to Strugeburg has been Posted!)

(1.) Riful

(2.) Galatea

(3.) Alica and Beth

(4.) Priscilla

(5.) Isley

(6.) Rubel

(7.) Clarice and Miata

(8.) Raki

(9.) The Assassin

Explanations: NEED TO READ

The Characters are here in order so I'll start off with this group I'm dubbing the "Expectant."

Riful: This is one character that I knew instantly would be in there. What's not to like about her here? The insanity of a child while having the cunning mindset to torture people just to awaken to combat the Northern Abyssal One. Also keep in mind that I find it interesting she'll be making the stature of Lucelia and Rafeal to awake and add that with Naruto's near sub zero tolerance to innocents being killed in this land. So yeah, I'll find a way in hell to get her on board with the shinobi.

Galatea: Another choice that I was certain she was in for but it was a double plus situation. Miria knows the third ranked warrior well enough for them to admit a few things here or there. So to me this is critical for Miria to stick around when they search for the Rouge God Eye, also did I mention she'll be honing in on the chakra produced from the blond?

I said in an earlier she couldn't sense Naruto's chakra because there was so much Yoki energy that a human source was covered by the multiple layers of it around in the area. I think this will be a great fit for Naruto and the Akatsuki to benefit from, and her story will be fun to use. Pretty much trying to explain why her eyes were blind after the seven year skip and I have the perfect partner for her.

That's number 5 on the polls, so picture that duo because I'm laughing in sheer anxiety on that subject.

Alica and Beth: I really wanted to stay no to this, without a freaking doubt. However due to me eating too much sugar one night and a few liters of soda I have an idea to get the Black Twins on the Red Dawn's side. All I will say is that this is interesting choice to have but one challenging subject that is practically the organizations secret weapons helping Naruto?

Do they have emotions, or are they just so selfish they only care for themselves and just themselves? So many questions that I will be using when this little "idea" of them betraying the organization might occur during the Strugeburg Arc of the story.

I will say I love this concept of having the Black Twins of Death sticking their awakened forms against their masters, simply unheard of yet plausible. How? Well just your heads and a few illusions of a certain blood line. I've said enough right there.

Priscilla: Oh fucking hell NO! I don't care if she had gotten first place on this poll. There is no way I will have her or two other characters who I name later down nowhere near Naruto. Plainly speaking this is the entire series antagonist here. I don't physically believe or metaphorically think this woman would fit in Akatsuki. For one with it would make Clare actively seek all the Red Dawn Members out to interrogate where Priscilla was.

Not to mention the organization would also take drastic measures to get Naruto with them at all costs, being a mercenary and others things they do "know" people will disappear. I can name a few during this duration of the story, can you guess? No well be shocked that I won't write her in, I have substitutes at the bottom for certain characters.

So my answer for accepting her, is a HELL no. I just can't picture this story going too far with one of the strongest beings on the continent fighting for humans.

Isley: One the most infamous of beings in the lands. I think he is the perfect fit for a person who would be most suited to join Akatsuki for his own benefits along with protecting the two people he considers as a family. Yes mister Isley here is killed off due to fighting the Abyss Feeders or something like that in the later chapters of the manga and boy was I livid at that fact. So the gears in my head are turning with this man being able to join under the impression of: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

Mere words just can't describe my anxiety to make this boy to join the Red Dawn. Also do you think Isley would be a great fit for Galatea? I mean the man always loses witty banner with pretty woman as the chapter with Luciela was an indicator, so imagine the conversations. Not to mention the fact that he is slightly noble to match the God Eyes Aristocratic personality.

So c'mon work with me on that regard, will we save Isley from his death? Oh fucking yes we will now...

Rubel: Honest to freaking god I wanted this guy to just be a primary source of information for Naruto to use. I won't make him an active member of Akatsuki since this boy is already a master spy being a Double Agent. I can't make him realistically the Triple Agent. Let's face it he's totally shady at best and I think he should be one of those unexpected characters that drop in to make you know something big is up. So he's going to be an active source for information but really the kind of person I want in the Red Dawn. He's just to illusive for my tastes and having him would compromise his position in the organization during the seven year time frame here.

So a nice choice but not my thing. Moving onward...

Clarice and Miata: A pairing that was, unexpected. I think Clarice would get along with Naruto who would view this an opportunity to see how the Claymore creation process was affected with the woman. He would also find it similar to how his daughter was, innocent and had that drive to be different despite being scorned on by her peers. An interesting choice and as for Miata. Well c'mon people Clarice is her "mother" right and what about her "father?"

Oh yes Naruto will be at some point if I feel like it, sneak into the Organizations HQ to learn of their intentions form outside sources and inside alike. So what if he met the gir during her early years inside the cell she was in or maybe walked into the place where Clarice first met the girl.

Very interesting and I can't offer more than because I'm making quite notations in my mind about these characters.

Raki: Really, it's Priscilla's reasoning why I'm not adding him. Naruto really didn't give a flying fuck about this kid, and neither do I in this story. Well maybe later on when Raki is captured it'll be a concern but not a real crucial person now. Let the kid mature and would Naruto consider it, yes but he has too many cons against the pro's per say.

Raki, Priscilla and Clare is just a threeway mega disaster right in the center of hell, so a no go there. Sorry folks I just don't want to deal with that, personally the kid is fine where he is in Canon and hell it'll be more interesting when Clare is stunned to hear about that.

If new manga chapters are out then I'll read to see what happened to him and her during the Destroyers little rein of hell.

The Assassin: It's going to be a he and he is a human. Interesting Local Contract Killer that I have the back story already written out and having a picture of what he looks like. I can give a name when the time comes but for now this part of OC is done. I got everything nearly finalized when the Arc for the Assassin comes around, though the chapters will be shorter for recruits it'll be worth it I hope.

So congrats on that and we'll see what happens next with the people's opinion on my little warped creation. Yes when I do mean warped, he'll be mirroring a certain character we all have seen and if not well I believe that's my goal to have a new concept.

He will Appear in the Strugeburg Acts as well; a late Add-In that I want to make up for lost time to the readers who wanted him a while back.

Okay now that is settled I have the substitutes...

Replacements!

Rubel / Akatsuki Member - Basically One Character of the Akatsuki from Naruto's Universe comes here! Just ONE and only ONE! I'm borderline realistic with this little detail and it will be very interesting to read, cause we have someone that is just as confused with Naruto in these lands. Who will it be? Suggestions are welcome but I have one person in mind as it is.

Priscilla/The Alchemist - I wanted this creation to be in so bad and now I have the reason. It's simply nearly all written out and the alchemist will be human. The reason why is that this Claymore World is so close to mirror Renaissance Era Europe its not funny. I personally believe that this ideology was in the Claymore verse based on human tendencies to find an answer to something we so strongly believe in as a myth or legend.

Turning Lead into Gold? Or discovering the Elixir of Life?

So many possibilities and who knows could it be a scientist with no regards to human life or Yoma alike?

Raki/OC Awakened Being - I wanted an interesting offer to someone from the Era of Male Soldiers. To me I will probably write this out eventually after I'm done with the other OC's but still I like this idea. The Fourth or Fifth ranked unknown warrior from the time before time? Cliche but hey it'll work for my needs.

Revised Poll Outlook:

1. Riful

2. Galatea

3. Alica and Beth

4. The Alchemist

5. Isley

6. Akatsuki Member from Naruto Verse...

7. Clarice and Miata

8. The Awakened Being

9. The Assassin

The Challenge: For Artists and Visionaries on Deviant Art!

Oh and before I go, I have to ask anyone to make something from the bottom of their heart.

Please make a Deviant Art with the Claymore Canon Characters having Akatsuki Cloaks on them, please I can't do it because I suck at art and photo-shop. I just want to make something completely worth while, so people can easily picture these characters wearing the iconic cloaks of a New Dawn for their world.

That's it finally and well have a good year folks because I know I will.

Characters Known In Naruto's Past:

Emiko: The still relatively unknown daughter of Naruto Namikaze, is a huge mental trauma, and anchor for him once to be sane. Not much has been concluded yet it's true to say Naruto loved her despite being adopted as her father. Her reasons of death are still shady at best. Her Death is definitely planned out, and there will be more later as to why it happened. (Note it's not the same girl, it's merely a glimpse)

Itachi Uchiha: The ANBU captain that committed the slaughter of the Uchiha Clan itself, Naruto, and the young captain had a student teacher Relationship due to the blond child meeting him. The stoic elder boy gave some respect despite his cold exterior to the child, and he trained him in secret despite the scorning disapproval from his clan, and the Hokage at the time. It wouldn't be still later when the Massacre happened did some random Uchiha member sliced the eyes of Naruto Namikaze out onto the ground. The ANBU Captain at time nearly stopped in sheer shock to see the image of Naruto with his eyes at his feet. Itachi managed to implant the single eye of Shisu, and another eye to give the Sharingan to the half dead child. The teen hasn't beenheard from since.

Madara Uchiha: The Main Master of puppets as he recruited Naruto to extract theKyuubi, not much is known except the deal made between the two. The Two Sharingan users did indeed face off but battle is currently unknown. It's said that Namikaze wanted to live through the process no matter what to see Konoha Razed to the ground.

Sasuke Uchiha: Very little is known about the friendship or kinship between the two supposed "rivals" in the past Naruto was calmer around the younger Uchiha who both of the two trained together to get their vengeance in later times. What is known is that Sasuke, and Naruto saw each other as brothers united in the darkness. Much will be known later in the story, and one key hint is that Naruto acted as the mature one between their social conversations.

Sakura Harnuo: The female teammate of Naruto, and Sasuke. She developed a clinging hope to the Uchiha to remain in the village. She was heart broken at the time to see Naruto leave, and supposedly die years after he left with the Toad Sage. When he arose as the Missing Nin, the Avenger of Hell she nearly went insane at the sight of her two former comrades intent on destroying their home. Much will be revealed on in later dates of time.

Kakashi Hatake: The former ANBU captain is the sensei of Team Seven. The Jounin believed he could keep his father figure, the Fourth Hokage's memory alive by passing down his style of teachings to his Son Naruto , and apprentice Sasuke. Much to his horror it did little to sway either of them much due to Naruto having his loyalty on the life of his daughter, and in the end the man failed extensively. He blames himself for not seeing both fire's of the leaf turn into ash before his eyes. Not much is known on what he personally thought about his students, and his reaction to the betrayals.

The Fourth Hokage: Also known as the yellow flash of Konoha, and is the father of Naruto without a doubt. The man perceived his village as some paradise to seemingly see his son, the container of the Kyuubi to be treated as a hero. However human pain, grief, and desperation sent that ideal after the sealing ended. The Village turned its back on the their former leaders request, and they were damned before long they knew. It's said that Naruto faced the chakra memory of the Fourth in the seal during the Kyuubi's extraction. Naruto destroyed him simply much to his own horror at his son, and more information will be sent later on.

Challenges that I've confirmed who taken them:

puffdadder's:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6317647/1/Weight_of_the_World

Jackiely's: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5990693/1/The_Ultimate_Jinchuriki

Sephieroth's : http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6538232/1/Sometimes_Myths_are_Real

Deviant Arts: Related to My Stories:

Jurassic Park Ranger of Isla Sorna: I'll always Protect you 01& I'll always protect you 02 (Forwarded from: The Hand of Kane)

REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.

From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.

Tom and the Absolution
1997-2008

A great Character and a funny host you will live on forever in this.

If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32, The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, DarkSamuraiX1999, foxgoddess07, thymistacles, DiscipleOfAnime, Marutectz552