... WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF INSANE PEOPLE ...

NOTICE:

I WILL NOT BE POSTING STORIES ON THIS ACCOUNT ANYMORE AND i WILL -LIKELY- TAKE DOWN ANY UNFINISHED STORIES.

SORRY EVERYONE!

-On another note, a lot of the stories that I already have here will, most likely, end up being rewritten and then reposted (yes, even the oneshots)

My new account is called: Sparkzey

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4301222/Sparkzey

THINGS THE NARUTO CHARACTERS WOULD NEVER SAY:

Asuma:

"I love you Kurenai! Will you marry me?"

"I quit smoking a month ago."

"Don't smoke; it is not good for your health."

Choji:

"No thanks Shino. I'm not hungry." (Why would he even go out to eat with Shino?)

"I lost 300 pounds on the subway diet."

"Oooooh no! Not another bite."

"I only lost 100 pounds on the Atkins diet."

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

"There's too much fat in these chips."

"I told you to bring me diet coke.

"Here, you can have the rest."

Deidara:

"I should put my clay figures in a museum."

"Why is there a mouth on my hand?" (Would he be stupid enough not to notice?)

Gai:

"That's it! I'm shaving these ugly eyebrows."

"Lee, your sense of fashion is horrible."

"Kakashi, you are better than me..."

Gaara:

"I hate sand! I think I'm allergic to it."

"Temari and Kankurou, why don't we get along?"

"Hold on! There is sand in my eye."

"Who needs a hug?"

"Ok Shukaku, its bedtime now!"

"I should have got my tattoo on my back."

Haku:

"I hate you Zabuza... shove it."

"Wow! I make a pretty good looking girl... pass the lip stick please."

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Hidan:

"Ahhh!! I think I broke a nail."

"I don't feel like praying today." (Hidan, Jashin-sama will come to fry your frikking ass now)

"Actually, I'm atheist."

"All this blood is making me queasy."

"Watch your language Itachi." (says the foul mouthed bitch-cake)

Hinata:

"I love you Neji."

"Naruto! I hate your way of the ninja! It doesn't work on me!"

Ino:

"Who cares about looks."

"Eww... I hate purple."

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"

Itachi:

"I'm so weak. I wish I wasn't such a woman."

"Violence isn't necessary; can't we all just get along."

"I want my mommy..."

"I did NOT have incest with Sasuke!"

"I miss my family."

"Hey Kisame, do you think pink nails would match me better?"

"Sasuke, no hug for your own brother?" (the only thing he would be getting from Sasuke would be THE DEATH GLARE OF DOOM or a kunai shoved through his heart)

"What is this ring I'm wearing? I don't recall being married."

Jiraiya:

"Oh man! Not another naked chick."

"Do you guys think of anything besides women?"

"Ahh the fourth was not anything special."

"That's right. I'm a virgin and proud of it."

"I, Jiraiya, solemnly swear never to look at another boob."

"I love big butts and I can not lie." (That, pervy-man, was a lie)

"I've never looked at porn."

"The internet is not for porn. It's for educational purposes."

"You are young. You are free. Why don't you sleep with me?"

"Why are there so many girls here."

Kabuto:

"I never told Orochimaru that he kinda looks like a girl."

"Oh why did I never finish the Ninja Academy?"

"I think Shizune likes me."

"I need to switch to collecting Yu-Gi-Oh cards."

"Orochimaru, I need a day off."

Kakashi:

"I think I'm going to show up for training early today." (OH NO the world is coming to an end)

"Man, my partners died... Oh well better them than me."

"I'm too lazy to choose the color of my mask today."

"Naruto! You could read my Come Come Paradise!"

"Naruto, you are so smart!"

"I'm done, done with Come Come Paradise."

Kankurou:

"Hey Gaara, can I build a sand castle with your sand?"

"Puppets are kinda boring; I think I'm going to be a ventriloquist instead."

"To tell you the truth, puppets kind of freak me out."

"Oh my dollies look so pretty today."

"I like to wear make up."

Kiba:

"You're a bad dog, Akamaru!!"

"I think I'm allergic to dogs."

"I want a cat."

"AKAMARU! WHAT DID I TELL YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I FOUND OUT YOU PEED ON THE RUG!? Brings Akamaru outside with a shotgun"

Kisame:

"Gaassp, I can't breath!"

"Hey guys, let's go to a fish buffet for dinner!"

"OMG a shark! Run!"

Konohamaru:

"Naruto! You're a bad leader! I'm going to look for Sasuke!"

Kakuzu:

"You guys are so obsessed with money! Don't you fight for anything else?"

"I dont like money."

"I love you Hidan."

Naruto:

"Shut up, Sakura I don't want to be Hokage today."

"I don't like ramen! Let's eat tofu!"

"I hate the color orange."

"I love you Neji."

"Don't believe it!"

Neji:

"I love you more Hinata."

"Time for a haircut."

"I think I'm going to hold back on using the Byakugan for this fight."

"Hey guys, lets work together."

Orochimaru:

"Ok, let’s pretend I'm straight for one minute..." (mehehehe)

"I have one more snake that you haven't seen, Sasuke." (EW, just fucking EWWWW)

"I'm the guy who did Michael Jackson's plastic surgery."

"Does it seem like I have a lot of makeup on?"

Pein:

"Ouch! Papercut!"

"Hmm... this body doesn't go good with my robe."

"What is wrong with my eyes?"

Rock Lee:

"Hey Gai-Sensei! Can I enter a ninjutsu contest?"

"Gai, stop hugging little boys and get a girlfriend."

"Sakura, does nothing appease you?!"

"Sakura, you are so ugly. I hate girls with pink hair."

"Sorry Gaara, I stole your eyebrows."

"Gai, I'm done with these spandex; it's really causing me to itch now."

"What should I wear today?"

"I'd rather learn the Chidori."

"Should I get a perm?"

"I hate the word youth."

Sakura:

"Screw this, this ninja thing ain't for me. I just wanted to be near Naruto."

"Damn Sasuke, you're even uglier than I am."

"Damn Sasuke get a hair cut."

"Maybe I should dye my hair blonde."

"OMG Ino and Sasuke look so cute together."

Sasori:

"I heart you Deidara."

"I think I will dedicate myself to Taijutsu, it seems more fun."

"Arrgh, I can't feel my body."

"Arrgh, the poison is invading my blood."

Sasuke:

"I'm sorry Itachi. I don't feel like fighting today."

"You know, I'll stop hunting Itachi. I think I'll just enjoy life and marry Sakura."

"Naruto, I love you. You are much more than a brother to me."

"I'm not emo." Breaks into song I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known. Cuts wrists Don't know where it go... passes out

"Kakashi, you have the same lens are Itachi...weird!"

"I love you Sakura/Ino."

"That girl is hawt."

"Do this outfit look strange."

"I look like a girl."

"Aww a puppy."

Shikamaru:

"I'm sooo hyper. Let’s run laps around Kohana for an hour." (twitch)

"Ino I hate you; you're such a bitch. Yet you're so hot marry me?"

"Whats 11?" (twitchtwitch)

"I really like the new alarm clock Asuma got for me."

"I hate to look at the clouds."

"I hate my hairstyle."

"Lee let me borrow your spandex."

"Dattebayo."

"Lets go eat ramen, believe it."

"I love Hidan."

Shizune:

"Tsunade-sama, I don't wanna work for you anymore!"

"Tsunade-sama, I'm so bored! Let's go gambling."

Shino:

"Oh my god, did you see the size of that bug?"

"Eww... get that thing out of your mouth you don't know were it has been."

A bug! A bug! Get it off me! Get it off me!

HAHAHAHAHA! (okay so he DO say that in one of the episodes but that was forced ')

I need some Raid. These bugs are really bugging me.

See a bug "AAAHHH kill it, KIILL IIITTTT!"

Temari:

"This damn fan is really starting to get heavy."

"Hmm... maybe I should get an electric fan."

"This fan is so ugly, I want a new one."

"Will you do my makeup Kankurou."

The Third Hokage:

"This village sucks. I'm moving to Hawaii."

"Iruka, I want my tapioka pudding now."

"Orochimaru, you can destroy the village if you will let me go."

Tsunade:

"I hate being young. I wish I didn't have this jutsu going."

"Mmmmm grubs slimy yet satisfying."

"Gambling is horrible. I'll pick up a better hobby like collecting shells."

"I am NOT a total whore."

"God I'm glad that Dan creep died. I swear he was stalking me."

"Shizune, do you think I am flat-chested?"

"They call it HO-kage for a reason!"

"You think I need implants?"

"Or should I get breast reduction surgery?"

THIS CAN BE CALLED: MY PERSONAL WACKO CORNER XD

Anyone ever noticed something funny about Yagami Lights (Death Note) name?? No, Yes?? well the funny part is that if you spell his last name backwards it becomes Imagay or, split up, Im a gay... funny right?? XD

Doesnt it sound insanely stupid when someone says "Ill kill you dead."? Well I think it does but at the same time it's funny in a carcrash kind of way

Can you drown in someones ego?? If so then PLEASE get the uchiha family away... Hey, that might be the reason as to why they were killed... People were drovning in their ego XD

Would you be afraid if some random person ran into a room and yelled "Dont worry people, we are only here to kill you."?? I know I would be shitting my pants and then I would laugh so bad that i would be shot... and if i survived that then i would be shot again...

Can one kill a rainbow with a big can of poop?? Yeah well I have been wondering that lately and the only thing I got from that was 1) A gigantic headace and 2) How the hell do yu even find a friggin rainbow?

Anyone ever wondered how ramen with syrup tastes like? Well I do and it all came to me after reading a story called A Withered Blossom written by Marius Khushrenada ... I wonder how it taste *Go hunting for ramen and syrup*

Did you know that the rain is WET (major shocker there right)

They always say that a little hard work never killed anyone... But why should we risk it?

If crazy is good... Then I am PERFECT

Be optimistic... Everyone you hate will eventually die

Do you think that if I hit myself in the head with a book enoug times, that the info will sink in?

I am perfect in that fucked up way

FOOTBALL... Just ANOTHER reason for grown men to cry

I dont need to get a LIFE ... Im a GAMER ... I have lots of LIFE

Did you know that MY imaginary friend think that you have problems?

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way, when you criticize them, youre a mile away with their shoes...

Im not retarded... I just like licking windows...

I smile cause I have no idea whats going on...

Strangers have the best candy...

I love halloween... Its the only time when you are encuraged to take candy from strangers...

There are no stupid questions ... ... ... ... Only stupid people...

Violence is NOT the answer... Shooting the person in the head repeatedly IS

WATERSHIP DOWN: where bunnies kill bunnies because these bunnies hate other bunnies for acting like BUNNIES

By the time you finished reading this I would have already raped you and stolen your wallet...

”Fortæl mig det, og jeg
glemmer det.

Vis mig det, og jeg
husker det.

Lad mig opleve det og jeg
forstår det”

its a chinese saying (in danish)... ill try to translate it:

"Explain it to me and I forget it.

Show it to me and I remember it.

Let me expirience it and I will understand it."

other info, which i just thought of:

- I am strange so I might make funny comments on stuff

- Oh lookie, a butterfly... (sigh sometimes i hate myself for it - make that most of the time... XD)

CONGRATS... YOU HAVE NOW WASTED YOUR TIME READING MY PROFILE... GOOD FOR YOU XD