Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Dexter's Laboratory, Star Wars, and Code Geass.
Right then, hello! Gotta say reading this stuff is fun.
Writing it? Terrifying!
What's that you say? Writing becomes relaxing after a while so stop complaining and give us fiction you cowardly bastard?
Not like I have anything important to do, like I don't know study for my English BA or anything. I will try to update my work as often as possible but I warn you to expect the more sudden updates during the holiday periods when I actually have time to write.
Anyway, onward. Have you ever wanted to just stick it to Dumbledore and have Harry go his own path? To bash the living hell out of Xander and Angel, giving Spike and Buffy that chance that they really deserve? Ever wanted to see a reunion between Rose and the Doctor?
If so, then stick around.
If no, then stick around.
If you're just here for giggles and couldn't care less for this rant, then please by all means, stick around but shut up.
Lets see just how far I can walk off the beaten path without sending my dear guinea pig- I mean reading audience off to the nearest mental asylum due to complete destruction of their perceived reality!
The Saviour's Critic
Harry is introduced to the wizarding world by Tahkaullus Neuvo, a man who has little to no love for Dumbledore's manipulative ways. Whilst at Diagon Alley, Kaullus gives Harry a lot more backstory as to what has happened in the wizarding world than Hagrid did. After gathering his list of unusual school supplies, Kaullus gives him a room at the Leaky Cauldron, giving Harry a month to learn the basics of what he will be studying at Hogwarts. Harry gets lost on the underground, getting introduced to Hermione ahead of schedule so whoopie there. Kaullus is angry with Dumbles...what else is new. Harry comes to Hogwarts, meeting Neville and the Twins, and Hermione again, and gets Sorted into and Apprenticeship due to his need to grow up faster than most children because of the Dursleys. He's now learning the history of his family, as well as discovering that some of his lessons are bull crap whilst others are pretty good. But now comes the dreaded POTIONS LESSON!
From the Pandorica to Utopia - The Doctor meets more than just Rose in the basement at Henriks, starting off (or is it closing up) a continuity loop that has existed for nearly two thousand years.
Book 1 - Crossing Paths, Healing Scars - Season 1
'The Unquiet Dead' 1869
'Aliens in London' 2006
'World War Three' 2006
'Father's Day' 1987
'The Empty Child' 1941
'The Doctor Dances' 1941
'Boom Town' 2006
Tail end of 'Parting of the Ways' 2006-200,100
'Regeneration' - Time Vortex
'The Christmas Invasion' 2006
Personal Areas of Expertise
Buffy (If I find the time to think something up)
Harry/Hermione - Harry and Ginny just never made any sense to me. Maybe it would work as a short term, teenage thing, but for life? Hell no! And don't get me started on the Freudian speak when it comes to going out with someone who looks like your mum! As for Ron and Hermione...can anyone else say abusive relationship waiting to happen? Ron would never appreciate Hermione's passion for learning, prefering to stick to the easy stuff and Hermione is too independent for him to be comfortable with. Harry and Hermione though? Those two just click together perfectly! Who is it who goes after Hermione when the Troll's loose? Harry! Who is it who risks their friendship with the other because they're concerned the gift given is from a wanted convict? Hermione! Who is it who sticks by Harry all the way through the TriWiz? Hermione! Who reacts in absolute horror when Hermione gets hexed by Dolohov? Harry! Who goes to the grave site of James and Lily Potter? The Hero and the Genius? HARRY JAMES POTTER AND HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER!
Neville/Luna - No real reason, but just handing Neville over to Hannah Abbot never sat right with me. Its one of the things I'm thankful that the movie changed. Besides, they look kinda cute together.
9/10/11/12/13...however many Doctors there're gonna be/Rose - Why? BECAUSE DOOMSDAY MADE ME CRY!!!
11/River - Surprisingly likeable. Not the same as Doctor/Rose, which is why I only say 11, but I love the way the two of them play off of each other. Personally like, 'the legs, the nose, and Mrs Robinson.' "I hate you!" 'No you don't.'
I also adore, 'Doctor Song, you've got that look on your face again' "What look on my face?" 'the 'He's hot when he's clever' face' "This is my normal face" 'Exactly' "Oh shut up" 'Not a chance.'
Steven had it right, 'that's not your hot girlfriend, that's your wife. That's the person who tells you to tae out the bins in the morning!' Love that summarisation of them!
Amy/Rory - They are just so adorable!
Jack/Ianto - Hey they don't make any gay jokes and they treat the relationship seriously. That's enough to get me behind them...oh crap.
Martha/Mickey - I dunno why, seeing as its like what Rowling did with Neville, just handing them over, but I like it. Probably cos its Smith and Jones again. Love that title.
Buffy/Spike - Yes I'm a Spuffy fan. Do not fear Bangels, I am a forgiving Spuffy fan. I know, it flies against my Doctor/Rose ideals, but I can't see Buffy hanging on forever waiting for Angel to come back and Joss Whedon, no matter how much I like his work, is a bastard for making it look that way. Buffy's a strong independent woman and, like our loveable rascal said, 'the girl needs a little monster in her man,' an equal. Not a wet blanket like Angel (I apologise Bangel fans but there it is), nor a superiority freak like Riley (I have no apology to make to the Buffy/Riley community because I hate that fascist slime's guts and hope that he burns in hell. I don't care what the comics might have done, Riley Finn deserves pain). And there's Spike, ripe for the taking, always there, always pushing her buttons, always with something to say or do or prove, and we're really supposed to believe she wouldn't try him out? Hell I'm straight and I was ogling Spike in 'Gone' when invisi-Buffy tore his shirt open. I just pretend that Seeing Red never happened. Whoever wrote that episode should be taken out and shot.
Willow/Tara - Like with Jack and Ianto, they treat the relationship seriously and don't fall into stereotypes. In other words, the relationship is real.
But with ONE condition. If its a season six fic, the relationship must crash and burn due to Willow using too much magic, and one or both of them must die. Tragic romances get me, what you didn't know? Yes despite the ball bashing Spike got in Seeing Red, Tara's death got me. I LIKED TARA YOU BASTARDS!!
Dawn/Andrew/Conner/OC/teenageguyfromschool/anyone who isn't Xander - Because the Dawn/Xander relationship just weirds me out. It's Buffy's sister getting together with Buffy's brother figure! Isn't anyone else disturbed? Also I thought it'd be cool for Dawn and Conner to meet and exchange stories of growing up (or not) with their angsty, depressing, superpowered, sometimes evil family members.
Angel/Cordy - Because that canon pairing is one that needed to happen. I mean my god Angel got broody when he got his own TV show. Cordy actually dared to give him a personality! And as you've probably guessed, I'm a sucker for a relationship that ends in tragedy.
Fred/Wesley or Fred/Gunn - Either one works because Amy Acker is sexy as hell in anything she wears, and dammit she always has that mousey cuteness, even when she's playing an evil technician in charge of blood sacrifices to Old Gods (Cabin in the Woods was awesome). And Fred dies in the end. Tragic romance, rinse and repeat.
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you’re one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, slygirl16, Raxacoricofallopatorius, Maethorwen of Atlantis, Tahkaullus01
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
Copy and paste this and highlight in bold what your are and what you supposedly must be:
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAY PEOPLE, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I have ASTHMA so I MUST be a loser
I am an ADRENALINE JUNKIE so I MUST be suicidal
I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry that I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry that my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry that I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
I'm sorry that I am actually nice; not a jerk
I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
I'm sorry that I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
I'm sorry that I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry that I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry if I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry if you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry that I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry that I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' (I've seen more than one of these relationships go to hell and I've seen the guys who would actually treat the girl right actually sitting across from them, and all the while I'm trying to stop myself from slapping them and asking them in no uncertain terms WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!)
If you're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' And girls, in case you think I'm being a sexist guy, go to Maethorwen of Atlantis's profile page where I copied this from. SHE'S not afraid to agree with this.
This one, I feel, is just as important as the last. Credit goes to Nintendo4ever.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
As of this posting, my account is not for viewers who oppose same-sex relationships. Re-post this if you agree that homophobia has to end.