STOP RIGHT THERE! YES, YOU! STOP! I WANT YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO MY FAVORITE STORIES AND READ "ESPRIT DE CORPS"! IT'S A FANTASTIC STORY THAT ISN'T GETTING THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES! YOU HEARD ME--READ FREEDOMOFTHESEA'S STORY, NOT MINE! DO IT! NOW!

9/29/09: Happy 38th, Mackenzie Crook! A very special chapter of You Get Credit For Trying will be up in honor of the occasion this week! :)

'ello, ladies and gentlemen! You can call me Chaos. I have decided to change this little paragraph around! :) Why? Because I'm bored. And, as we all know, bad things happen when I'm bored. To sum it all up nicely, I'm the charismatic one in the corner who likes to make snide comments about everything, when it reality she's very curious and fascinated by that mental disorder known as 'humanity'. I like men, not the men that society considers handsome but the underdogs and the kicked-upon men who need a little bit more love and appreciation. I also seem to have a thing for crazy men, having added to my roster recently Thomas Schiff, a paranoid schiozophrenic, and Silas, a delusional albino monk. I don't pretend to know everything, but I have a damned good guess.

I'm an atheist. Don't try to convert me and I won't try to dissuade you. In my version, all the big-wigs, (God, Buddha, Charles Darwin, Muhammad, Spock, etc.) are sitting around a table and playing cards and talking about the massive headaches religious wars, science vs. the Bible, and Star Trek conventions give them all. The End.

What do I for a living? Well, when not haunting the grounds of Fanfiction, you can normally find me writing fics or sometimes working on some original fiction. I'm a full-time writer, part-time student, and dreamer for hire. :D Enjoy this look at my homepage!

UPDATE: Officially, 71 percent of you want twins from Ragetti and Glory. :D Good, because that's how it's going!

--Chaos over and out--

Current Avatar: Delmar(Tim Blake Nelson) from O Brother, Where Art Thou? 'They turned him in to a--a horny toad!'

Pairings: House/Cuddy ~ Will/Elizabeth ~ Chase/Cameron ~ Dan/Laurie ~ Rorschach/Dan (Hey, let a girl have her moments...) ~ Sylar/Mohinder ~ Shilo/Graverobber ~ Barbossa/Madeline (Nytd OC) ~ Jack/Isabella (FreedomoftheSeas OC) ~ Tanis/Laurana ~ Dwight/Angela ~ Pavi/Luigi (mild cases)

Top 5 Songs: Night Surgeon ~ With An Iron Fist ~ I Hate Everything About You ~ Orchard Of Mines ~ Requiem For A Dream

Top 5 Movies: Pirates of the Caribbean ~ The Blues Brothers ~ Watchmen ~ Repo! The Genetic Opera ~ The Princess Bride

Top 5 Books: The Dragonlance Chronicles ~ In Death series ~ Harry Potter ~ Maximum Ride ~ The Divine Comedy (especially The Inferno!)

If you want the goofy, dorky, skinny, one-eyed pirate you're going to have to fight me for him!

My favorite quotes:

"I just...LOVE scanning for life forms!"--Data

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?"--A Very Potter Musical

"LET'S GO KILL VOLDEMORT!!"--A Very Potter Musical

"You can call me Voldemort. We've reached that point. We're there."--You have three guesses. ;)

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."--Prof. Dumbledore

"I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!"--Rorschach

"Well, Sir. I'm just trying to figure out whether or not you're having an incestuous relationship with your brother."-- Quoted from Magical Shovel's hilarious parody fic! :D

"Hurm. Chaos-loving female anarchist having some form of eye problem. Must investigate further. .TT." --Belphegor being silly! :) (aka playing Rorschach watching me bat my eyes at him!)

"Ask a Gentern, who they prefer--10/9 will say "The Pavi!"!" --Pavi Largo "Mark It Up"

"I'm the masked horror on your street corner/Make your mama mourn ya/I'm a Night Surgeon!" --Nathan Wallace, "Night Surgeon"

"I sprained my ankle putting my shoe on...DON'T LAUGH!" --My friend who wishes to remain anonymous

"You really need to stop trying to be my friend or else I'm going to kill you."--Sylar

"The mayfly only lives one day. Sometimes it rains."--George Carlin

"The men can abide many things. But they can't abide a Jonah."--Captain Jack Aubrey

"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch for, because you never know when they're going to do something incrediblily..stupid."--Captain Jack Sparrow

"It's the Bible--you get credit for trying!"--Ragetti

"Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party--and you're not invited!"--Captain Jack Sparrow

"I'll take my chances, sir."--Chaplain

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!"--White Goodman

"You gotta kill her, Larry!"--Owen Lift

"I have an idea. Let me get my gun. If you can outrun my bullet, I'lll let you live."-- Writeroncloud9, arguing with Rob!

"TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!" --King Leonidas

"Madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little push."--The Joker

"I'm telling the story!"--Pintel

"My father told me that there are three things in life you need to be successful: A good doctor, a forgiving priest, and a clever accountant."--Oskar Schindler

"Surrender to the Music of the Night..."--The Phantom

"We got a half a pack of cigarettes, a full tank of gas, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses."--Elwood Blues

"Men are idiots. Some of them just happen to be good-looking idiots."--Me!

"Anger, Avarice, and Envy are the three sparks that have all hearts enkindled."--The Inferno

"What blame have I in thy nefarious life?"--The Inferno

"Sometimes the most real things are the things we can't see."--The Polar Express

"He who saves one life saves the world entire."

Copy and paste this if you believe a true friend is one who knows you're a physco ready to snap but loves you anyway!

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile

Who needs the Jonas Brothers when you have the Largo Brothers?! If you know Pavi and Luigi kick butt, copy and paste!

If you have ever sobbed over the death of a fictional character, copy and paste this in their beloved memory. Case in point: Hollom! WHY?! Hollom...

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your hindquarters off.

If you're an agent of chaos, copy and paste this. Or don't. Remember...we're here to upset the established order...

If, for some odd reason, you noticed that it was a miracle that something from the ship didn’t conk Lord Beckett in the noggin when he was about to die, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you went to save Jack just because you missed him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know that PIRATES are indeed better than ninjas, please copy. (No offense to Ninja people out there)

If you got invited to the magnificent garden party, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are completely obsessed with and/or have a major crush on Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, Lord Cutler Beckett, or James Norrington and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and put the ones you like in Italics. Note: Alright, so I like Ragetti best. But if I couldn't have him, Beckett would be the runner-up. ;P

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, Lady Sakura of the Fated, Emy Em Em, Kiska King, ButWhyIsAllTheRumAlwaysGone, goody goody gumdrop 06, Mrs.DeppQueenObsessorGoddess, XxSupernatural.LovexX, ChaosandMayhem,

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, Dawn over the Valley, Captain Samantha Lovegood, Future Mrs. Sparrow, ElizabethTurner93, Dr. Sugar, RaithsEnvyMe, ChaosandMayhem

My Most Absolutely Wonderful Fics(aka my fics I like and others seem to as well):

Chilling: The title for this popped into my head, don't ask me how. But I really do like it. My first spin into the Harry Potter fandom, an analysis of the last moments of Barty Crouch Jr., a fascinating character who doesn't get the nearly enough love as he deserves. (Oh, and the fact David Tennant portrays him in GoF? Just an added bonus!) People have been telling me that my Barty reminds them of the Joker, which is good...considering I was channeling the clown. :D

I Will Kill You!: A Repo! The Genetic Opera fic. Luigi hates decaf. And Pavi knows that. A little fic that erupted in my skull after I became fascinated with the characters of Pavi and Luigi Largo. Especially Luigi. What can I say? An ascot-wearing, coffee-drinking, knife-wielding Italian with a terrible temper makes me happy! :P

We're Not Friends!: A Pirates of the Caribbean fic. Of all my fics, this one has been favorited the most! So, it appears I hit gold with a small scene between Jack and Barbossa--arguing, as per the overall usual. Dedicated to Nytd!

Poseidon's Bookkeeper: A Pirates of the Caribbean fic. A place to house all drabbles and oneshots inspired by prompts over at the Broken Compass. And, if the muse does permit, other small drabbles that may or may not be results of prompts. People seem to like "Norrington's Angel" and "Justice" so read those first!

Suffered, I Have: A Pirates of the Caribbean fic. I always wondered about Ragetti's line in CotBP...how'd he suffer? He met a bonnie lass, of course! Glory is an unconventional woman, and seems to be the perfect match for Ragetti. But what happens when she finds out he's cursed?

You Get Credit For Trying: The sequel to "Suffered, I Have". Some months after AWE, Ragetti, Glory, and Pintel have joined Jack on his quest for the Fountain of Youth. New villians and old favorites will appear, and (I'm warning you now) as the number of chapters increase so will the rating and level of angst/tragedy. The title may not make sense now, but it will in the last, oh, four chapters or so. IN PROGRESS--SO I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU MORE THAN YOU NEED TO KNOW!

A Magnificent Garden Party:

We're having a most magnificent garden party and everyone is invited! This is the page for all the collaborations fics from the Broken Compass forum!

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1827921/A_Magnificent_Garden_Party

Mothers of the Caribbean: A fic dedicated to the women who worked hard to make our favorite rogues the pirates they are! My chapter is the one on Pintel's mum!

Begun by Blood: "Begun by blood, by blood undone". A tale of what the crew of the Black Pearl went through to retrieve those other 887 pieces of gold. Mine's the second chapter, a fun romp with Ragetti, Pintel, and a pesky magpie.

I, ChaosandMayhem, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read,

regardless of the number of reviews,

its age, or anything else.

I have joined the review revolution.

If you have a long bio/profile, and wish to hereby enhance the length of said autobiographical document, copy and paste this to said world wide web page to make said autobiographical document increase in length, number of words, interestingness, and other things which would be known as fun, copy and paste this piece of information to your said autobiographical document.