FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| The Thirteenth Floor |
Author has written 3 stories for Fruits Basket, and Twilight. NOTICE: There has been a change, people! I am no longer the single entity known as I Should Be Doing Homework! I am now TWO beings! My best bud fo life, Emelia, will be joining me on this profile! (Note, I will be talking in Italics, and Em will be in Bold Italics)That's right beotch! Dis be Emelia, you betta reconize! Um, Em, we get it. You're black. Just not ghetto black. So stop that. It's freaky. Sorry... Whelp, I'm Emelia, call me Em, Emmy, Eri, Eri-sama, Milady, or Hey You! I'll just jam my profile righ' there under Arty's. (BTW, our new penname is a bit of an inside joke. Don't ask.) Name: Artemis Age: Whoo! Finally, fifteen! Hair Color: Black, w/ red, purple, and blue streaks Hair Style: Short & layered, w/ bangs stll reaching shoulders (it looks pretty cool when I don't straighten it, because then it's all curly and bouncy!) Name: Emelia Age: 16 Hair Color: LIME GREEN!! (my mom wants to kill mehz) Hair Style: Dreads Eye color: Golden-brown (My Arty thinks they're so pretty) (Shut up!) You're SO cute when you blush like that! (I said shut uuup!) Your real name - Artemis Your Nobody name - (your name mixed up, then place an x were needed) Samitrex (Wow... That's cool) Your gansta' name - (first three letters of first name and 'izzle') Artizzle Your detective name - (fav. color and fav. animal) Blue Panda Your soap opera name - (middle name and street you live on) Sophiana Cooper Your Star Wars name - (first three letters of last name and first two of your first) Astar Your Super Hero name - (second fav. color and fav. drink) Purple Sprite (Sorry, I'm fickle) Your Witness protection name - (middle names of parents) Andrea Luke (oh, that's a pretty name!) Your Goth name - (Black + name of a pet) Black Lawliet (I think Lawliet is pleased. He's purring and digging his claws into my leg!) Your real name - Emelia Your Nobody name - (your name mixed up, then place an x were needed) Mexliam Your gansta' name - (first three letters of first name and 'izzle') Emeizzile... (Odd.) Your detective name - (fav. color and fav. animal) Green Panda (Me and Arty are so in sync!) Your soap opera name - (middle name and street you live on) Arismas Rainbow (Why does that fit so well?) Your Star Wars name - (first three letters of last name and first two of your first) Wolem (... No comment) Your Super Hero name - (second fav. color and fav. drink) Black Daiquiri (i'm such a bad girl...) Your Witness protection name - (middle names of parents) Molly Charles (Well, that's a bit lame...) Your Goth name - (Black + name of a pet) Black Othello Hi! My name is Artemis, and yes, that's my real name. I have a big brother named Apollo if you can believe it. My mom was real into Greek mythology. As you can see by my profile intro, I am trying to learn German. I'm not very good at it yet, but my best buddy, Em is helping me. The only person who calls me "Artemis" is my dad and my teachers, and my dad only does when I'm in trouble. Usually it's just Art or Arty. My interest in German comes from my half-German heritage and the fact that when Em turns eighteen, she's going to adopt me and we're running away to Germany! Squee! Now, my interests include anime, manga, yaoi, lemons, Tokio Hotel, Japanese and German culture, Tokio Hotel, churros, sushi, Tokio Hotel, books, fanfiction, and did I say Tokio Hotel? That's right, my favorite band is Tokio Hotel, baby! My friends are sort of weirded out by how much I'm like Bill Kaulitz, the lead singer, and Ari is quite a bit like his twin, Tom, who's the lead guitarist. A lot of their songs helped me out when I needed it, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. ICH LIEBE DICH, TOKIO HOTEL FUR IMMER!! I also have A LOT of pets. Like, eight. That's a lot for pets right? Apollo has a golden retriever/great dane mix named Abby and a turtle named Hermes. Hee. My little sister, Persephone (We calls her Peace for some reason), has two canaries named Tweety and Sweetie and a cat named Squiggleh(Don't ask), and I have my fluffy black kitty, Lawliet, whom I love, my husky/something mix, Angel, and a cute little raccoon named Bandit! We found him in the backyard and I named him after a raccoon from a book. We're lucky Dad hasn't gone insane yet... Oops... I think Peace just pulled the crazy trigger... RUN, PEACE, RUN!! Hello, I'm Emelia Erismus, and I'll be your hostess for however long it takes you to read my summary or whatever the hell you call this thing... I'm sixteen, I'm bisexual, and I am a complete loony, much like Arty up there! LOVES YA ARTY! (Stay on subject, you spaz!) Oh, you know you love me. If you were actually reading what I myself were typing, you'd most likely find A LOT of typos, grammatical errors, horrifically misspelled words, etcetera. Arty is just typing what I wrote down, because most people can't read the absolute atrocity that is my handwriting. Okay, the "absolute atrocity" thing was a bit much, doncha think, Arty? But still, I am an avid reader, writer, and poet. Sadly, I am dyslexic, so sometime, my words are jumbled. Despite this, I WRITE ON! I WRITE ON, DAMMIT! (Too much candy today, Eri?) ... A little. (I thought so) I'm hot. No seriously, I'm like, drool-worthy. You should all worship me because I'm dead sexy. (And so modest, ne?) Totally! See, Arty gets me! (Think that's enough for now?) Yeah, sure. LOVE ME!! Life Updates! (Arty mostly runs this section, but I'll toss in what I can!) Oh, BTW, did I not tell you people this? My brother is gay and he's been going out with an English gyu named Trevor for about three years now. My dad was just happy that HE wouldn't be the one to tell me anbout sex with a guy. See, my dad is bi so he doesn't really care. My mom thinks it's funny when she and Daddy find the same guy hot. Then they "call dibs" on them. It's so weird but SOOOO insanely funny. More updates, peeps! Okay, apparently, I am now spoken for. I am fanfiction-married to the wonderful author known as Lycan.Kallias! Her lemons are some of the best I've ever read, an I feel that we will be very happy together! (XD ROFLMAO) TREVOR IS PREGNANT! Ow! 'Pollo, I was kidding! Jesus, can't a girl make a joke without getting slapped around here? Though, Trevor did just adopt the CUTEST little white kitty, whom I named Near. I kind of feel bad for the poor little guy, because Lawliet is always molesting him. But sometimes I think Near enjoys it, because he never tries to escape. Lol, my cats are gay. Goddess, we're just one big fruity household! Eros is already teething! Four months and ALREADY he's teething! He's got so much hair now! It's all dark and curly, and he has absolute HUGE blue eyes. HE'S SO FRIGGIN' CUTE! Emelia Erismus has decided that she prefers her middle bname to her first, so she is now being called Eri. TIME TO CHANGE THE PROFILE AGAIN! ARGH DAMMIT! SQUEEEEEEE!! -dancing around- Arty is sooooo happy because Arty is in looooooooove! ARTY LOVES ERI FOREVER!! My and Eri are together now!! BOW DOWN TO THE FLUFFY SHOUJO-AI!! BOW DOWN!! Arty's Family Me- I'm the fifteen-year-old second oldest child in our household. You pretty much know all there is about me due to my profile, so I'll go on! Apollo- He's the oldest kid in our house, he recently turned eighteen and he is gayer than a flaming rainbow. He's got blonde hair and blue eyes, because he looks more like our dad. He's a total spaz, extremely forgetful, but he's a sweet guy... to other people. He takes me shopping for videogames and books, so that's a plus! I love him to death! Persephone(Peace)-she's younger than me by three years and looks more like our mom than I do. She's kind of small and short, but don't tell her that to her face, or she'll go Edward Elric on your ass. Which is hilarious to watch, by the way. Eros(We call him Roro)- he's SOOOOO cuuuute! He's only four months old, but he's already teething, which is hell. He's always gnawing on my fingers! He's got a bunch of hair already, and it's kind of curly. He's got these HUGE blue eyes, too! Trevor- The sweet, lovable boyfriend of Apollo, he's from Liverpool, England, and he moved here when he was about twelve. He andApollo became friends in middle school and I guess that grew into... more. It is a story of love! (swoons) Mom and Dad- they're high school sweethearts and they're almost always together. They always get into "yo mama" fights! It's so freaking hilarious. I love them both to death, but Dad sometimes has his fruity moments, and it gets embarrassing. Mom can calm him down pretty easy though. We get kicked out of the house on Saturdays. It's their "Romantic Time" Bleh. Old people love. Words We've Added "gasm" to Skittlegasm Piegasm Yaoigasm Yurigasm Tacogasm Foodgasm OMGgasm Omnomnomgasm Yogurtgasm Puddingasm Candygasm Icecreamgasm Fanficgasm Gaiagasm Fluffgasm Marshmallowgasm Marshmallowfluffgasm Prongasm Now for something different. My favorite anime/manga! Ouran High School Host Club, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Kingdom Hearts, Chibi Vampire, How's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Fruits Basket, Bleach, Naruto, Under the Glass Moon, Kamichama Karin, Pita-Ten, FAKE, Eerie Queerie, Shutterbox, Loveless, Hero Tales, +Anima, Snow Drop, Dragon Eye, Jack Frost, One Fine Day, Time and Again, Soul Eater, Me & My Brothers, Night School, DramaCon, Because I'm the Goddess and probably more. Favorite Books The Misfits-- James Howe (Oh my God! Just finished it and it's my new favorite!!) Maximum Ride series-- James Patterson (Can't believe I forgot this! DX) Artemis Fowl series-- Eoin Colfer (And it's not just because we have the same name!) The Twilight saga-- Stephenie Meyer (Yeah, I'm one of those people!) Inkheart series-- Cornelia Funke The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod-- Heather Brewer Vampire Kisses series-- Ellen Schrieber Harry Potter series-- J.K. Rowling Vampire High-- Douglas Rees Warriors series-- Erin Hunter To Kill a Mockingbird-- Harper Lee Cirque Du Freak series-- Daren Shan The Demonata Series-- Daren Shan That's all I can think of right now! Sorry! :D Favorite Non-Anime Shows Scrubs Degrassi What I Like About You iCarly Comedy Central presents The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Viva la Bam Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory Rob and Big Jackass Manswers 1000 Ways to Die UFC TNA Impact Important Things with Demetri Martin True Jackson VP Loaded Will and Grace Deadliest Warrior Mythbuster Wife Swap My Favorite Bands/Musical artists Tokio Hotel Panic! At the Disco Fallout Boy My Chemical Romance Dresden Dolls Kerli Emery Slipknot Death Cab for Cutie Riverboat Gamblers Katy Perry Smile.DK Vengaboys Toybox Good Charlotte Senses Fail Sublime Envy on the Coast 3OH!3 Sum 41 Michael Jackson Metallica System of a Down Foo Fighters Nirvana Bon Jovi Aerosmith Prince Miyavi Girugamesh Motorhead Bullet for my Valentine Marilyn Manson (He scares me!) Favorite Movies Sweeney Todd Wanted Saw 1-4 (though I hide under things whilst watching it) Twilight (it wasn't the best, but it was still pretty good) She's the Man Harold and Kumar go to White Castle/ Escape from Guantanamo Bay Epic Movie Scary Movie 1-4 Brokeback Mountain (Sadly, Arty has yet to see it! TT.TT) X-men movies And Now For some Quotes!: "We're gonna go have sex now! Bye! Heehee... Sex!" -Jojo (Talking about he and his boyfriend) "For God's sake, Jo, no one cares about your goddamned buttsex!" -Eri "Noooooo! It's called "making love"!" -Jojo "-roflmao-" -Arty oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Go away, you booblet." -Damien (Eri's older brother) "D... Did you just call me a booblet?" -Arty "Yes." -Damien "WHAT THE HELL IS A BOOBLET?!" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I AM SIRIUS BLACK!" -Arty "C'mon, Arty, you can be Bellatrix!" -June (one of my buddies) "NOOOOOO!" -Arty "-sighs- Fine, if you're so hell-bent on cross-dressing, then you can be Sirius." -June "FWEEEE!" -Arty oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Shut up." -Arty (To Damien) "We don't say shut up in this house. Say something nicer." -Eri's Mom "-sighs- Fine. Kindly shutteth thine piehole." -Arty "That's better." -Eri's mom oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Arty! Myk wants to cross-dress for Halloween!" -June "No. Myk wants to cross-dress every day. Halloween is the only day his mom would let it slide." -Arty (Myk (pronounce MICK) is one of our gay friends. He did cross-dress that Halloween. He was a dead hooker, while I was his dead pimp. He wore fishnet, a tube top, a shiny black micro-mini, red lipstick, and red pumps. He looked surprisingly good. He's just a little adrogynous, so it worked! :D) ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Oh holy night, the stars are brightly-Mmm, French fry." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I hate the Jonas brothers. I wish they would spontaneously combust and be burnt into little, Jewfro-sporting, Jonas-ey cinders." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I swear to God, I will lick yo face!" -Peace ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Artemis!" -Mr. Jordan (My Literature teacher) "-wakes up- SORRY DAD! I DIDN'T DO IT! THEY CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!" -Arty "-snicker- Guilty conscience, much?" -Eri "... I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." -Mr. Jordan ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I'm doing this because I'm just that nice of a person... Pfft! -snort- Even I don't believe that." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "-rolls up sleeves- Okay, locker. We can do this the easy way -cracks knuckles- Or the hard way." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "GAWD! -storms away from Peace and into bedroom-" -Arty "-stomps in a second later-" -Peace "Godammit! It's kinda hard to storm away from you if we share a room!" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Arty... Did you hide my yaoi?" -Eri "-eyes dart left and right- Noooo..." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Ms. Vaughn! I gots ta pee!" -Arty "You should've gone ten minutes ago, when we had a bathroom break." -Ms. Vaughn (teacher) "But I didnin't has ta pee then! But I gots ta pee now! Pleeeease! My bladders gonna es'plode!" -Arty "Maybe when you learn to speak proper English," -Ms. Vaughn "WHY THE HECK SHOULD YOU CARE?! YOU TEACH MATH!" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Bull junky-chunky-munky!" -Eri ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "You're gayer than a Liberachi bonfire hosted by Liza Minelli with a guest appearance by Celine Dion and Elton John!" -Eri ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "-huggling- I wish I could quit you..." -Myk "-pushes him off- One, I ain't a gay cowboy. Two, you ain't a cowboy," -Arty "-pouts- That doesn't mean I can't quote Brokeback Mountain!" -Myk "Well, it should!" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "-pulls out of Wal-Mart parking lot- Vrooooooooommm...(car noises)" -Crash(My uncle. Nicknamed this for good reason) "-raises eyebrow- Really? Really?" -Arty "Shut up. I'm a grown man, I'll do what I want." -Crash(he's thirty-two) ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Artemis, how many problems did you not do on the homework?" -Ms. Vaughn "That depends. How many were there?" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Myk! Get down from there and put your pants back on!" -Eri "NO -in a tree-" -Myk "PUT YOUR PANTS ON, DAMMIT!" -Eri "Never! Pants are for losers! Like you!" -Myk "Ha! I'm wearing a skirt!" -Eri "Well... damn." -Myk ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Oh my god. Ohmygod. He's got nunchuks!" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I wanna see Neji get drunk. And stand on a table. And strip. And sing "Like a Virgin". Loud." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I like his little poncho. I want a little poncho." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I love watching UFC. Guess why, Nate," -Arty "Because it's two dudes all sweaty and half-naked and wrestling around. Guess why I like it." -Nate (my cousin) "-giggles-" -Arty "I swear, if you say for the same reason, I'll kill you," -Nate ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "What's that you're writing, sweetie?" -Trevor (He always calls us things like "love", and "sweetie", and "darling". He's so cute and polite!) "Writin' pron," -Arty "-blushes- P-pron?" -Trevor "Geez, Trev. Yes, I said "pron". As in chatspeak for porn. As in people having sex. You're such a prudey little queer." -Arty "Sh-shut up! -blushing more- I am not!" -Trev "Prude." -Arty "He is not!" -Apollo "Oh really?" -Arty "Yep. Because he's the one who attacked me in the hallway when we got home last night and tore my clothes off -smirks-" -Apollo "-eye twitches- Thank you, 'Pollo... You have succeeded in making me want to pour Clorox into my brain," -Arty "-grinz- That's what I'm here for, sister dear!" -Apollo "Oh, God -blushblushblushfacepalmblush-" -Trev ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I've noticed you tend to say "Okay" after just about everything I say. Is that some sort of speech impedement?" -Arty "What?" -A Chick That Pisses Me Off "Do you know what an impedement is?" -Arty "No," -ACTPMO "I figured" -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Isn't it so sad when people have ugly babies?" -Eri ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (Okay, at school, this kid that nobody really likes climbd up a tree to get a kick ball that was stuck up there, but the branch broke and he fell. The stick went, like, right up his ass, and this was Eri's comment) "That just goes to show, if you go chasing fter balls, you're gonna get a stick up your butt!" -Eri ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "It's just... so.. PENIS-Y!" -Arty and Eri ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "I don't wanna fucking spell it that way! Fuck you spell check! I'll kill you! Wow... I'm threatening the spell check..." -Arty ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Every time you start talking, you get off one topic and go on to another, which just leads to a long, drawn-out story which you just know makes me happy" -Lacey ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "Wow. You're living a bad sitcom montage" -Lacey oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "That was funny, only NOT" -Olivia (Lacey's big sister) oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo If you have ever called any adult a fucking idiot, copy and paste this to your profile. IF you have ever tried to act cool and failed, copy and paste this to your profile. But don't worry. The fact that you tried makes you cool. Or does it? Most people say that life is good. But life is only good when you get what you want. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse I see stupid people, there's so many I see you're playing stupid again, looks like you're winning Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is free How are you? I'm f.i.n.e- Fucked up Insecure Neurotic and Emotional. I'm F.I.N.E. Thanks for asking what do u mean the moon isn't made of cheez? i'm the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes i'm that kinda girl who will bust out laughing 4 sumthin that happened yesterday If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity. If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever been totally embarrased by a parent, relative, friend or anyone else, copy and paste this to your profile. If you ever laughed and then said, "I don't get it." copy and paste this to your profile. 101 THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART (Note, I boldfaced the things I've done!) 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. (Even better, bring your own bokken(woodensword)) 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. (Your fly's down) 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven’t seen 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re 17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look 20. Put M&M’s on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll 23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from 24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, 30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired 31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale 32. Take bets on the battle described above. 33. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while 36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. (Again, I got Apollo to do this) 37. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to 41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 42. Two words: "Marco Polo." 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet 44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD’s in Electronics. 45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the 46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at 47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. (I took a thirty-minute nap) 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, 49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and 51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice 52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your 53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the 54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run 56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror 57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. 58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly 59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and 60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch 61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with 62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse 63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you 64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people 65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and 66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of 67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every 69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in people’s 70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of 71. Hit on the elderly. 72. Hit on 5 year olds. 73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly 74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray. 75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. 76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a 77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your 78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for 79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind 80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me". (I set a bunch of singing valentine's day monkeys up the other day and got my friends to press the trye me buttons on all of them) 81. Start pocketing any and all free samples. 82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say 83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people 84. When you’re alone, have loud conversations with your 85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms 86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the 87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to 88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, 89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department 90. Put lingerie in the men’s department. 91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn 92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that 93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, 94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in 95. Light a match under a sprinkler. 96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I 97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my 98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that your a 99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone. 100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen 101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless. BONUS Attempt all of the above during the same visit. Controversial Issues: Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal electrocute the poor animals?And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! Weird is good, strange it bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile! If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying "Dang, we screwed up bad!". Put this in your profile if you have a best friend Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Baa Baa Black Sheep, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. (Omg they DO!) If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste this on your profile. If you KNOW that gravity hates you, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, WriterGirl3000, White Moonlight, shizuka-ai, sakurauchiha4, ShivaVixen,Shrimps of Mass Destruction, Yasu Uchiha, Fox-Zodiac, The Thirteenth Floor, If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you know an anime character who should be real, then copy & paste into your profile. If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Mwahahahaha, I have a plate of peas and a spork! You know what that means... (everyone runs away again) Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. (How do you spelL CPR?) If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. (IT's not my fault. It's the magic fish.) If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart (just once, but still...), Littlwhisker (I do it all the time so get over it!), WhiteWinged Alchemist, Yasu Uchiha , Fox-Zodiac (Very difficult to accomplish, but somehowI have. Many Many Times), I Should Be Doing Homwork(Anyone can fall DOWN the stairs. It takes talent to fall UP them!) If you have ever fallen UP the DOWN escalator, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. (Sun, sun, go away, don't come back any other day. The dark is where I like to play. Sun, sun, go away.) If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. (Who the hell does?) If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy onto profile. If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off. If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. (The sad part is when you have thumbwar with yourself and lose :( Sucks don't it?) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you've ever had a conversation with yourself while other people were around. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you've ever started yelling random things as loud as possible. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you like to run around in your underwear. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you've started a conversation with your pets. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.(many times) If you have ever tried to fly without a plane or any other flying machine/type thing, and FAILED, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile. If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile. Chose 10 of your OC's. Or ten of your favorite people.(like friends,family,celebreties. Anyone you think is cool.) But you can't chose yourself. 1: Ariar Aro-the spaciest, creepiest, hyperest half-vampire the Twilight world will ever know 4: Ranmyaku- "WHERE THE HELL IS MY NECRONOMICON?! Oooh... Oh CRAP! TIME WARP! AHHHH!" -is sucked into time warp- (She's a time-tripper. She gets randomly sucked into different time periods) 1) 4(Ranmyaku) invites 3(Anna) and 8(Jayci) to dinner at their house. What happens? Ranmyaku and Anna swiftly get drunk and begin to strip, while Jayci jumps out the window to murder a squad of cheerleaders with their own pompoms. 2) 9(Al) tries to get 5(Alexei) to go to a strip club. Oh trust me, they're on the same page. Half-naked guys taking off their clothes off on stage? They are SO there. 3) You need to stay at a friends house for the night. Do you chose 1(Ariar) or 6(Osiris)? I'd rather sleep on the street. Either one of them will suck my blood while I'm sleeping. 4) 2(Kairo) and 7(Andris) are making out. 10 (Jojo) walks in...Their reaction? Jojo: -begins to bounce excitedly- Oh! Oh! Good idea! -runs to fetch his boyfriend- 5) 3(Anna) falls in love with 6(Osiris). 8(Jayci) is jealous. What happens? Osiris watches while two hot chicks with homicidal tendencies fight it out over him. 6) 4(Ranmyaku) jumps you in a dark allyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10(Jojo),2(Kairo) or 7(Andris)? Jojo is the most likely. Plus, Ranmyaku's army of the dead will fall before his rainbow spandex. 7) 1(Ariar) decides to start a cooking show. 15 minetes later what is happening? Osiris is trying to put out the Cullen's kitchen before they get home. Ariar is sleeping in the oven. 8) 5(Alexei) is in a car crash and is critictly injured. What does 9(Alucard) do? Alexei doesn't drive! She thinks cars are evil. Plus, they're still at that strip club. 9) 3(Anna) has to marry either 8(Jayci),4(Ranmyaku) or 9(Alucard). Who do they chose? Well, Al is gay, Jayci is homicidal, and Ranmyaku is also homicidal. Since Ranmyaku has a necronomicon, Anna's gonna pick her. 10) 7(Andris) kidnaps 2(Kairo) and demands something from 5(Alexei) for 2(Kairo)'s release. What is it? Andris: Come to the dark side! Alexei: I ALREADY AM, NUMNUTS! Kairo: -knees Andris in the balls, jumps on his motorcycle and rides away- 11) You get to meet either 1(Ariar) or 6(Osiris). Who do you chose? Osiris. He's sexier and can tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue. Ariar would just steal my marshmallow fluff. 12) 10(Jojo) challenges 4(Ranmyaku) to a chariot race. Why? Because Ranmyaku has a chariot, he has a chariot, and Anna just set up a racecourse for no reason. Why not? 13) Everyone gangs up on 3(Anna). Does 3(Anna) have a chance in hell? Yup. Anna has a hockey stick and Red Bull. No one can beat her then. 14) Everyone is invite to 2(Kairo) and 10(Jojo) wedding except for 8(Jayci). How do they react? Hmm... Despite the fact that Jojo is engaged to someone else and would never marry a psychotic vengeance-seeking ninja, Jayci will probably try to kill everyone who was invited, and even some people who weren't. 15) Why is 6(Osiris) afraid of 7(Andris)? Because Andris is hell-bent on screwing everyone on the above list. 16) 10(Jojo) gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go? Jojo: Once upon a time there was a magical place where unicorns shit rainbows and ate the sun! The end! Anna: -claps- YAY! Andris: -eye twitches- Jayci: -poking dead body- 17) 1(Ariar) arives late for 2(Kairo) and 10(Jojo)'s wedding. What happens? And why are they late? Jojo is kidnapped by Calvin, his boyfriend, and Ariar stumbles in drunk after the theatrics. 18) 5(Alexei) and 9(Alucard) get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happends? We are going back to that strip club! 19) 3(Anna),8(Jayci),6(Osiris) and 4(Ranmyaku) all go to the zoo for 8'(Jayci's)s brithday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8(Jayci)? Anna lets all the animals loose, Osiris sucks the blood of several zookeepers, Ranmyaku shoots down a griaffe, and Jayci gets to murder the running and screaming zoo-goers. Everyone's happy! 20) Everyone gets together and start protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do? They are protesting the crazy things I make them do for my own sick entertainment. 21) 9(Alucard) murders 2(Kairo) best friend. What does 2(Kairo) do to get back at them? Well... Kairo doesn't have friends. He only has a creepy stalker that he wouldn't consider a friend if she saved him from being raped. 22) 6(Osiris) and 1(Ariar) are in mortal danger. Only one of them can surrvie. Does 6(Osiris) save themself or 1(Ariar)? Osiris was sworn to pretect Ariar no matter the cost. Besides, the only thing that can really kill him is a pack of werewolves or another vampire. 23) Which one of them is most likely to fail at life? Well, they all get laid more often than whoever had the time to make up this questionnaire... 24) 5(Alexei) is trapped in a cave. 10(Jojo) comes to rescue them. What happens? She's not trapped! She's hiding a body! 25) 3(Anna) starts a day camp. What happens? Anna: Children, I have something to say. Kids: -continued playing and screaming- Anna: Children... Kids: -ignoring- Anna: -eye twitches and revs up the chainsaw- SHUT YOUR MONKEY ASS UP AND LISTEN TO ME OR WE'RE GONNA PLAY TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! Kids: -silent as a grave- Anna: -smiles sweetly- Good children. 26) 4(Ranmyaku),6(Osiris), and 7(Andris) are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8(Jayci) walks in. What happens? Jayci: Cool! -begins to Hokey Pokey as well- 27) 1(Ariar) starts to write a fan-fiction where 9(Alucard) and 10(Jojo) are going out. What is 2(Kairo)'s reaction? Kairo: -eye twitches- OMG... -runs away- (He's freaked out by gay people) 28) 7(Andris) makes an apple pie. Is it any good? If you're a cannibal! 29) 8(Jayci) and 3(Anna) go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do? Anna calls me and I bring an endless supply of marshmallow fluff and sushi. 30) While they are camping, they run into The Blair Witch. What do they do? (If you haven't seen that movie pretend they ran into the Bogyman or something like that instead.) Jayci kills her and Anna watches whilst drinking Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee. 31) The quiz is over. What does everyone go to do now? Ariar: -falls asleep- Kairo: REVEEEEEENGE! -runs away- Anna: -is busy making out with random guy- Ranmyaku: -bringing dead zookeepers from earlier back to life to join her undead army- Alexei: I'm going to the bar... -leaves- Osiris: -running away from Andris- Andris: -chasing Osiris- Jayci: -going to a gas station to buy candy for her brothers- Alucard: -bugging his best friend Izzi to take him to a night club- Jojo: -is making out with his boyfriend- And all is right with the world! Number your 12 favorite Bleach characters in no particular order and answer the following questions. 1. Hantarou Yamada 2. Renji Abarai 3. Ichigo Kurosaki 4. Byakuya Kuchiki 5. Kisuke Urahara 6. Kenpachi Zaraki 7. Yachiru 8. Grimmjow Jeagerjacques 9. Ulquiorra Schiffer 10. Stark 11. Gin Ichimaru 12. Toshiro Hitsugaya Have you ever read a Six(Kenpachi)/Eleven(Gin) fic? Do you want to? People write those?! I've been missin' out! Do you think Four(Byakuya) is hot? How hot? Yup! So hot that if I ever saw him in real life I'd rip his clothes off and drag him into a closet! (Note: I've said all of this with an adorably innocent face) What would happen if Twelve(Toshiro) got Eight(Grimmjow) pregnant? O.o I JUST WENT DO BUY CHIPS! HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?! Toshiro: ... Dude, I don't even know. Can you read any fic(s) about Nine(Ulquiorra)? Well duh. Would Two(Renji) and Six(Kenpachi) make a good couple? ... Who would be cruel enough to have Renji go through THAT?! Oh, yeah... I would! . Five(Urahara)/Nine(Ulquiorra) or Five(Urahara)/Ten(Stark)? Why? ... Why do neither of these seriously disturb me? Because I have the sick and twisted mind to write both. What would happen if Seven(Yachiru) walked in on Two(Renji) and Twelve(Toshiro) in bed together? Yachiru: Ken-chan, what're they doing? Make up a summary for a Three(Ichigo)/Ten(Stark) fic Party at Aizen's!... There must have been alcohol in that punch. Is there any such thing as One(Hantarou)/Eight(Grimmjow) fluff? Wow... My mind just can't comprehend this... Suggest a title for a Seven(Yachiru)/Twelve(Toshiro) hurt/comfort fic. I Need A New Lock. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four(Byakuya) to deflower One(Hanatarou)? Hmm... Hantarou getting beat up and Byakuya there to save the day! Do any of your friends read Seven(Yachiru) slash? I hope not. I really, really hope not. Do any of your friends read Three(Ichigo) het? I should hope so. If not, they're either Anna or Myk. Who is in love with Ichigo. Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven(Gin)? Yup Would any of your friends write Two(Renji)/Four(Byakuya)/Five(Urahara)? Where has this threesome been all my life? What might Ten(Stark) scream at a moment of great passion? Zzzzz... (He's freaking lazy, he fell asleep during the foreplay!) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight(Grimmjow), which song would you choose? "Psycho" by Puddle of Mud If you wrote a One(Hanatarou)/Six(Kenpachi)/Twelve(Toshiro) fic, what would the warnings be? Warning: Do not read unless you've consumed MONUMENTAL amounts of alcohol. What might be a good pick-up line for Two(Renji) to use on Ten(Stark)? Wanna see what I can do with my sword? When was the last time you read a fic about Five(Urahara)? I'm reading one now. What is Six(Kenpachi)'s super-secret kink? Bondage. and blood. Would Eleven(Gin) get in bed with Nine(Ulquiorra)? Drunk or sober? Drunk. Definitely drunk. And I mean drunk off the ass drunk. If Three(Ichigo) and Seven(Yachiru) get together, who tops? -eye twitches- Yachiru "One (Hanatarou) and Nine (Ulquiorra) are in a happy relationship until Nine (Ulquiorra) suddenly runs off with Four (Byakuya). One (Hanatarou), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven (Gin) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve (Toshiro), then follows the wise advice of Five (Urahara) and finds true love with Three (Ichigo)." What title would you give this fic? The Creme of the Crack: The Fic You Should Only Read While High Name three of your friends who might read it. Anna, because she has issues, Myk, because he's a hopeless crack-romantic, and June, because she does whatever they do. Name one person who should write it. Quyn, because she lives for crap like this. (Note: Quyn is an alter-ego of mine. She may appear in furutre stories!) How would you feel if Seven(Yachiru)/Eight(Grimmjow) was canon? O.o Oh my God... -curls up in a corner and rocks back and forth- | |||||||
1. Why Jasper's Face Really Looks Like That reviewsHave you ever wondered why Jasper REALLY looks like he does in the movie? Well, here's my theory!Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 358 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 5-4-09 - Jasper & Alice - Complete2. Purr, Kitten, Purr reviewsIt all started at dinner. Honda-san made some particularly delicious fish, and Kyou… He enjoyed it so much that he almost purred. He tried to cover it with a cough, but I caught it… And I wanted to hear it again.Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 2-8-09 - Kyou S. & Yuki S. - Complete3. That Fine Line reviewsThere's a fine line between love and hate, but where do we stand? Yaoi! Kyo/Yuki! A little limeyFruits Basket - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 860 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 1-7-09 - Kyou S. & Yuki S. - Complete
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