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clearwatercullener
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since: 12-09-08, id: 1765128, Profile Updated: 06-26-09
country: United States
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.

hello peoples!!

i made a C2 soo check it out it sooo help me make great c2 it is slash but its not to gross. i am trying to write CE. but its hard with very few reviews!! i am starting to really like slash, my fav is HarryRon. they are so cute but also i am a crossover junkie (not drugs duhh) i love harryedward pairing cause jasper and carlisle have mates. and jacob need a life no joke there. here are sum bands i found and and i

-blonde redhead
-the car is on fire
-the bravery
-dragonslayer

Also i have sum broadway shows i also

- RENT
-Avenue Q
-Sweeney Todd

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things
(I wanna do so many of them...T.T)

Guess what I dreamed last night? There was a panda that became king and banished all math teachers to Middle Earth and then KA-POW! Sauron combusted him with his floating, fiery foot-ness, then a giant mudpie wheel appeared out of nowhere and all the math teachers-powder stuck to the mudpie wheel and it rolled and rolled and there were monkeys who were fighting for a pen that stepped all over the Voldemort-powder while fighting on the rolling mudpie wheel and then it finally rolled over a cliff and fell in front of a giant abbey full of little talking foxes that chopped it up into little pieces and ate all the math teacheres-flavored mudpie with delicious chocchocochunk cordial

thank from the writter of letters from 4 privet drive by ward 49 I love that story!!

Friends: Tell you that you look nice.

“Shut up. Then I was discovered in the Wizarding World, and viola!”

“I thought you looked familiar,” said Harry.

“Like your dead girlfriend?”

Harry raised his eyebrows, not amused.

“RENT,” she clarified. “I really want to play Mimi in that show. You go to Broadway at all?”

They shook their heads. Harry liked this girl. She was funny, nice, and sufficiently odd.

from Our own speacial therapy written by xHarryIsMyHomeboyx thnkz!!
Best Friends: Say your outfit looks like throw up, and then help you find a new one 10 minutes before school starts.

Ten little indains went out to dine
One choked his little self and than there were nine

Nine little indains sat up late
One over slept himself and than there were eight

Eight little indains travled to Devon
One dicided to stay and than there were seven

Seven little indains chopping up stick
One choped himself and than there we six

Six little indains playing with a hive
One got stung and than there were five

Five little indains going for the law
One got in chacary and than there were four

Four little indains going to the sea
A red harring swoulled one and than there were three

Three little indains going went to the zoo
A big bear hugged one and than there were two

Two little indains sitting in the sun
One srizzled up and than there was one

One little indian left all alone
he went and hung himself and than there were none

Lizzie boredan took an axe
she gave her father 4o wacks
when she saw what she had done
she gave her mother 41

thank you agietha criste from and than there were none.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! FAIL!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

what brown and stick??

hmmm

well its the bottom so look lazy ass!! b4 you look read the others!!plzplzplzplz

what green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree it could kill you

hmm its at the bottom too dammit!

if you fall down a well where will you land??

guess your head off!! hahahah

if you have 5 quarters how many nickles you you have

where is the anwser

AT THE BOTTOM!! duh.

if you have apples

then I take 1 how many apples do i have??

what lives under the sea c

GUESSSS!!

heres a fun haiku

haikus are stupid(5)

somtimes haikus make no scences(7)

refridgeorator(5)

hahahahah

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

crazy rollar cosater ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ome i wanted to go on a rollar cosatar today but i can't i winter dammit grrrrr!!

even stanger i usally hate them hummmm watever

heres a horrblie good long short story

dear ladymen and and jellyspoons

i come before for you, to stand behind you

to tell you a story, i know nothing about

one bright morning, in the middle of the the night

two dead boys, laid up to fight

they went back to back, and faced eachother

pulled out there swords, and shot each other

the deaf police man, heard it all

and saved the lives, of 2 dead boys

if you don't belive this lie, it true!

ask the blind man, he saw it too

will you save the lives of these , two dead boys too??

the immortal words of the office

learn your rules
or you will be eaten in your sleep grrrr
now the true gudie to counting

what is 1 + 1

SHUANNNNNNNN THE NON BELIVER!! SHUANNNNNNN

now whats 2 + 2

FISH ps everyone kn ows that duhhhh

here is the next one 3 + 3

froggy jump to the moon!!

again 4 + 4

mountain lion (its edward fav one)

last one 5 + 5

CLAPPING MONKEY WITH SYMBOLS AHHHHHH

there now you know how to really count!!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so i must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see."
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue

SO what number controls your life mine is 46!!ahhhhhhhhh

so what happens when you get scared half to death twice??

if there is a speed of light what the speed of death??hmmmmm

Did you know54.6 of satistics are made up on the spot

did you know 75of satistics are lies

did you know that 96 of teens have tryed drugs copy and paste this if you have ever had a poppy or sesame seed bagel

if you think copy and paste this if... is very stupid copy this on you profile heheh

ok the first one to the jokes at the top (its funnier on a sugar high try it again then if its not funny now)

a stick!!

the next one hmmmm

a pool table silly duhhhh

hi don't know your back oh corse!!

NONE YOUHAVE QUARTERS STUPID!!

(most people get that one so don't be all mighty on your horse!!)

the space bar!!hah

i love you all
your buddy
clearwatercullener

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. Close Encounter » reviews
Set after gof. dumbledore sends harry for protection to the cullens. can they help him get over the guilt. also a harry is changed by an event w/ BCJr.NO male/male or speical powers
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,679 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 6-6-09 - Published: 4-19-09 - Harry P. & Edward
2. How it starts reviews
How uncle Vernon falls into physical abuse. simple but good
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-28-09 - Harry P. & Vernon D. - Complete
3. Crytal kiss » reviews
This is a lovely onesot between eward and bella enjoy. warning breaking dawn spoilers ahead!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-17-09 - Published: 1-12-09 - Bella & Edward
4. frozen soul » reviews
When edward leaves in NM bella is turned by victoria and forced to join her army as a slave. but what hapens when she finds her self free? who freed her? what will her and tabitha do now. normal pairings not AH
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,662 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 1-5-09 - Published: 1-2-09 - Bella & Edward
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