MY FICS, AS OF RIGHT NOW THEY'RE IN HIATUS. IT WON'T BE LONG, BUT COLLEGE IS HARD RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE TO FINISH THAT SHIT FIRST. ALSO I'LL TRY TO START MY HARRY POTTER FIC. I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT.

Naruto shippuuden

1-Naruto arrives at the village. For the moment we ignore how strong he has become. We just know that he still wears a child’s jumpsuit and to make it look even more retarded he is still that, a retard.

2- He meets with Sakura and Team Konohamaru. After that he meets with everyone else’s. They are all chuunins and in some cases jounins. Naruto is still a genin. It seems that besides exams, there are no other ways to go up in the ranks

3-After some shitty welcome greetings where Naruto looks like the idiot he is every time, it’s decided that Kakashi (number two objective of fan girls) will test Sakura and Naruto. Never mind the fact that by themselves they should be strong enough to hold their own against him considering their ‘teachers’. It also seems that Shikamaru, a pathetic, lazy chuunin is the best male that Temari could find. Which takes me to place her in the same category that her little boyfriend. Pitiful. In a surprising turn of events, Gaara is the kazekage, but since he is a likable character (a killer makes great characters) everyone ignores the fact that he was a fucking psycho who killed his own fare share of shinobis of his own village. Naruto is still a gennin, despite protecting the village or showing enough tactics in the chuunin exams against Neji. Going under earth (much better that some stupid overly elaborated tactic of a jacket to create shadows, instead of using a simple genjutsu to get close or an explosive note to blow a bit of earth and create shadows all the time without taking some gay pose to think)

4-The sparring match shows how Sakura had grown stronger and to our everlasting disappointment, Naruto not only is still a retard. He is still pathetically weak, to the point that the level he showed was the one he should had as a gennin in the first part of the show and even then, pre-shippuuden Sasuke would have wiped the floor with him.

5-At this point there are a few things clear. Naruto is a weakling and just plain stupid. The second is that Jirayja couldn’t be bothered to teach him shit like Kakashi, except basic genjutsu dispelling that which the way Naruto used it; it should have given enough time to an enemy to kill him; and the second to pull out Kyuubi’s chakra with his oh so great method. Weakening the seal and making Naruto use a power that kills him. At this point you question yourself, how the fuck can someone teach something they don’t know shit about?

6-After a few chapters full of Naruto being pathetic; we get to the part with Gaara. The jinchuuriki of the one tailed beast showed that he is more powerful than the one of the nine will ever be, holding his own against an S-ranked Nin while also protecting his village. When Naruto finds out that Gaara had been kidnapped or the mission with Sasuke I can’t be bothered to remember, Shizune (my favourite girl) an overshadowed characters shows more common sense that all the other bitches like Tsunade, Jirayja and everyone else put together saying that Naruto shouldn’t go, because he is not ready.

7-Naruto goes. In Suna, again Sakura shows that despite her idiocy and just plain uselessness, Tsunade is a great teacher, showing her being a great medic. Going after Gaara, Naruto shows how pathetic he is, by not been able to hold against a genjutsu or a clone of a shinobi. He also shows a bigger version of rasengan (for which he still needs a fucking clone, original eh?) and prove again how useless he is by been too pathetically slow to hit shit, while Sakura beats a powerful S-ranked nin

8-In the same mission, it’s discovered that somehow Kakashi has mangekyo. Now, explain to me, how the fuck a non-Uchiha manages to develop the ultimate stage (for now) of the eye? Here’s where fan girls come at his rescue and start spouting shit like – he went through a severe trauma, or he copied (impossible) from Itachi- And this is where I answer: Fuck you. Pure blooded Uchiha had also been through severe trauma, even worse than him with two shinobi wars or the clan’s wars before the village and there was only one person with that eye before Itachi. How curious that this generation full of inexperienced little shits is filled with them? I’ll just put it as another ‘pull out of my ass from Kishimoto’. Like the fact that with every mangekyo you get a different technique than amaterasu and the others. It’s like those kinder chocolate eggs; you get a different little toy with each one

9-Now in the village, our weak hero meets his new team mate and new leader. An emo faggot (like Sasuke) whose only cool thing is his drawing jutsus and with an obsession for dicks, whiles the leader is nothing but a half done copy of the first hokage. Basically, a guinea pig of Orochimaru.

10- That done, they go for Sasori’s spy. You all know how it went. Naruto like always does the only thing he can do. Use a brain dead beast power against Orochimaru. Please note, that Jirayja is supposedly stronger than Orochimaru. Then how the fuck does Jirayja gets hurt and Orochimaru barely? Again let’s ignore this. They proceed to Orochimaru’s base, where after a bunch of useless pages or chapters, they meet with Sasuke

11-Naruto finally shows how gay and utterly pathetic he really is. Sasuke beats the shit out of them all with jounin-kage like abilities, while Naruto begs like a bitch in the floor.

12-Once in the village, Kakashi starts explaining elemental manipulation and the kage bunshin method. Again we see what a waste of breath Jirayja and Kakashi are as teacher and two; and here is where it’s get good. The secret of Kage bunshin. Naruto was so retarded that he never noticed shit, even though it’s the only technique he uses to make up for his complete lack of skill in any area. –Also, a reviewer once told me that in the Naruto books says that Kakashi was the only one who knew. To everyone, fuck you. Sandaime was called the fucking professor and the God of shinobi. If that man didn’t knew or Jirayja or other high level shinobi then you fail along with Kishimoto-

13- Instead of using the training properly, Naruto goes to create another version of rasengan. Who the fuck does he expects to take by surprise with an attack that creates cyclones just by been at his side or the fact that he has no speed to speak off? Meanwhile we see Sasuke getting uber powerful techniques that even Kakashi with more training and experience didn’t think creating. Sasuke defeats a half dead Orochimaru, kills a half dead Itachi, and kills Deidara. All the time pulling techniques out of his ass, that had Orochimaru used them in battle, he would have the sharingan already. Along with Sasuke is his super team. A fan girl that we have to tolerate all the time lusting after our resident emo, a big oaf who speaks with animals and a copy of Zabuza with delusions of grandeur. At this point you have to question about the Nidaime Hokage too. Kisame, Suigetsu and a shit load of other character have shown more powerful affinities. It seems that Kishimoto enjoys giving Sasuke powerful opponents that at the end of the fight die because he start fawning over Sasuke like a fan girl giving him some powerful jutsu for which he has no chakra to use (Deidara’s fight)

14-At this point we have to re-evaluate the abilities of our two ‘protagonists’ (even if it seems that Sasuke is the main). In one hand we have Naruto. Pathetic speed, pathetic taijutsu, pitiful genjutsu, gennin level fuuinjutsu, three jutsus that he can not use properly, since he sucks at summoning and rasengan. Basically put, his abilities sucks, to add insult, the seal is weakening and Sasuke can seal off the Kyuubi. Pitiful beast

In the other hand Sasuke. Great speed, great taijutsu, balanced and powerful ninjutsu and high level genjutsu along with advanced fuuinjutsu abilities that he seems to have put to good use. Let’s not forget uber mangekyo sharingan along with his new summoning contract with hawks that came out of nowhere and no curse seal to hold him back.-If someone out there is thinking of Juugo for the contract, then fuck you. The little shit can speak with normal animals, there’s no need of his intervention for summoning creatures that can speak on their own. I also can not fanthom why a creature would serve him after what he did with Manda. Anyway, he got another awesome contract that he seems to be able to control perfectly like the one before, while Naruto can’t seem to be able to do shit with the toads.

15-Next, Jirayja fights Pein. Sage mode. Was worth shit against Pein. For once something good happens, Jirayja dies. I say good, because the man did nothing useful. I can bet that had he left Naruto behind, he could have seek training for taijutsu from Gai while his chakra control, along with genjutsu and ninjutsu would have gotten better with Tsunade and working on his own. All the while, going up in the ranks if he had something called brain.

16-Meanwhile, Asuma dies. That was a happy day for me. I hated the character. After that we have to tolerate Shikamaru’s pathetic saga of mourning. Our suspicions of Kurenai being barely more than a fan girl is proven right when it’s found that she is pregnant of Asuma. Why would she go for a gorilla looking, chronic smoking lazy shit is beyond me.

17-While Jirayja is fighting, Shikamaru with his pitiful team and Kakashi fight Kakuzu and Hidan. Somehow Shikamaru manages to defeat Hidan while burying him on a forest (again, where he could have burned the little shit to prevent him from re-attach himself or finally die. Nara genius at its best). Kakashi fights Kakuzu and manages to catch him unaware, where you have to wonder how he manages to do it so easily against someone with more than a hundred of years of experience than him. After that, Naruto comes with his new uber slow attack, this time needed between three or six clones, only to embarrass himself and only succeeding in the second attempt

18-At this point you can guess what happens with Naruto’s attack. Uber powerful but like the Kyuubi he can’t do it to save his pitiful life without drawback. After a drama and equally pitiful filled chapters, Naruto goes to train for sage mode, ignoring that Jirayja FAILED doing the same, all the while with years of experience and more talent than him. Pain attacks the village and everyone is a weakling, Danzou is a bitch and it seems the toads can’t tell when another toad dies in the real world.

19-Naruto comes back trying (and failing) to look like some hero. Again with a power for which he needs clones, and doesn’t last shit. There he fights Pain and after some fighting he manages to convince the little fool to be a good guy.-The logical thing to do in Nagato’s place was that after revenge against Hanzou, he should have taken the HOT babe at his side. Retires to some peaceful village away from there, like Demon country and create a family-.

20-After that comes the Hokage’s election since Tsunade is KO. At this point everyone forgets the fact that Naruto saved all their sorry asses and he goes back to been the pitiful fag that wants Sasuke to comes back, while Danzou takes the Hokage title against Shikaku’s proposition for Kakashi( so much for Nara genius (AGAIN). The same Kakashi that was dead in the floor like a common pathetic dog and whose strongest techniques are kamui and a pathetic lightning dog?)

21-Kage summit. Kishimoto goes fan girl again and shows our emo with enough balls to take on FIVE kages ignoring the fact that he doesn’t have the strength to back it up. After some emo moment he awakens Susanoo. One surrounded by black flames…Bullshit. Madara as a great villains and typical Kishimoto character reveals his plan to the world, instead of doing like any good shinobi and keep quiet.

22-After that Sakura suddenly decides that she is suddenly all powerful all the while taking advantage of the fact that Naruto IS a retard. Then Gaara comes and has a gay reunion with Naruto, all the while he, his brothers and all Naruto’s friends show their lack of faith in Naruto and have forgotten the fact that he is stronger than all of them put together (Is it not pitiful?)

23-Finally we see Madara fight a little, and show that he is the most bad ass character when the attacks can’t touch him or that he can create his own little world (Thank you, now I can use it in a fic. You have to admit he has the coolest powers followed by Pein)

24-The next is Danzou fighting and I sincerely hope he wins. Konoha really needs someone like him. No little emotional shit, no faggot-Sasuke-moments. A real fucking leader and Sasuke show again how overpowered he is, pulling out Susanoo and Amaterasu and only panting when Madara remembers it to him. After that, uber technique from my ass, guess what? Sasuke now has a hawk contract!!

Conclusions: From now on, I have bestowed on a friend, the job of telling me how the manga goes from time to time, because I refuse to read that filthy piece of fan girlish shit. After I finish my Naruto stories (rewriting some), I’ll go to try other fandom’s.