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| iluvtwilight13 |
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight. I got this off another persons profile but this stuff is awesome Stereotypes SUCK! I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. Before You Ask... AU - Alternative Universe A True Boyfriend: When she walks away from you mad: Follow her When she stare's at your mouth: Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you: Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong When she ignore's you: Give her your attention When she pull's away: Pull her back When you see her start crying: Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared: Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you: Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt: Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you: she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands: Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret: keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does When she misses you: she's hurting inside When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?" If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : I am against abortion Read this I cried Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that put it in your profile. AU - Alternative Universe Daddy's little Cannibal was one of the best authors on fan fiction and will be severely missed. If you have read one of her stories and liked or loved it copy and paste this on her profile. A True Boyfriend: When she walks away from you mad: Follow her When she stare's at your mouth: Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you: Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong When she ignore's you: Give her your attention When she pull's away: Pull her back When you see her start crying: Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared: Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she tease's you: Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt: Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you: she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands: Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret: keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does When she misses you: she's hurting inside When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her Call her before you sleep and after you wake up Treat her like she's all that matters to you. Tease her and let her tease you back. Stay up all night with her when she's sick. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid. Give her the world. Let her wear your clothes. When she's bored or sad, hang out with her. Let her know she's important. Kiss her in the pouring rain. When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?" If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : This is my webiste were I wil put Bella's outfits and put up messages about updates and stuff. http://xxprettylovablexx.webs.com/ I hope u enjoy it and become a member! “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” - Carl Jung QUOTES I FOUND Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Life is sexually transmitted. You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead!!" ?? Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Get the last word in: Apologize. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, yet you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. As I lay in bed last night, looking up at the stars and the moon, I thought to myself, 'Where the hell is my ceiling?' Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. One day we'll look back at this moment, laugh nervously, then change the subject. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. Randomness is the base of conversation. I will temporarily rule the world, forever. You couldn't find water even if you fell out of a boat. I'm not crazy I’m just ... well, I’m not crazy! Never mess with a guy wearing make-up. They mean business. It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand. Friends are there to hear the song in my heart and clue me into it when my memory fails. A university professor set an examination question in which he asked the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: 'I don't know and I don't care.' I have PMS and a gun. EXCUSE ME. You were saying? I can go from chick to BITCH in 3.5 seconds! It's been lovely, but I have to SCREAM now. Warning: Trespassers will be shot It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them? Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!' This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. 'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot. I hear voices, and they don't like you. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished. This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force. He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. God has a cruel sense of humor. I have no predjucis. I hate everyone equally. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same. Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy. Age...a matter of feeling, not years. We grow small trying to be great. You are only what you are when no one is looking. When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left. We are not retreating...we are advicing in another direction. The proctologist called...they found your head Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film. I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. Heaven kicked me out. Hell was afraid I'll take over. How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot off his/her head! Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm required to have a lot of common sense. Or any, for that matter... I'm bored. Run for your sanity. I didn't deny it! I just didn't admit it! Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. I just thought of something funny...your mother. It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me! That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again. There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works. I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. .. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.. 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence? Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. §æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§ I have discovered the equation to go over the top in everything! If: Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E but and, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASS KISSING that will put you over the top. §æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§ Why do psychics have to ask for your name? If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2? When the "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business, did they see it coming? Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?" Why is the word abbreviation so long? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? If the sky is the limit, then is space over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Is "Cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?! If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons? If two wrongs don't make a right, why do two negatives make a positive? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware? Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free? If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or naked? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word Lisp? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented? If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it Fed UP? If quitters never win and winners never quit how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?! Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from? Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo? to much of a good thing is a bad thing "Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it." - Margaret Cho “Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.” – Robert Benchley “There is no calamity greater than lavish desires. There is no greater guilt than discontentment. And there is no greater disaster than greed” – Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher. “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.” – Mark Twain A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste This is also one of the cutest things ever written (apart from a bronze haired someone I know)!! If this doesn't touch you THEN YOUR NOT A VAMPIRE!! One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies... The girl asked the guy to pull over because she wanted to talk... She told him that her feelings had changed and it was time to move on... A silent tear slid down his cheek as he reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note... At that moment a drunk driver was speeding down the very same street... He swerved right into the driver's seat killing the boy. Miraculously the girl survived... Remembering the note she pulled it out & read it... It said: "Without your love I would die" Depressed? Crying? Then you need emotional therpy. I know this gr8 therapist called Jasper Hale... This is for people like Rosalie who need more confidence... If you had to read that other bit again then you need to learn irony and sarcasm... Girls FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter This is a true story: Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad (add this to your profile if your against child abuse) I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to flamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it. My name is sarah CHILD ABUSE...MAKE IT STOP!!Please, be aware that child abuse happens everyday, and it isn't just physical, it's emotional too, and sometimes that hurts more than a beating from your parents. Physical abuse scars you on the outside and that pain will go away, but emotional abuse scars you on the inside and the pain of being called worthless never goes away. So please, help stop the abuse. ╚═╩═╩═╝Love vs. Sex A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit She ended up staying longer than As she walked along under the tall elm When she reached the alley, which was a However, halfway down the alley she She became uneasy and began to pray, Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness When she reached the end of the alley, The following day, she read in the Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and Thanking the Lord for her safety and to She felt she could recognize the man, so The police asked her if she would be She agreed and immediately pointed out When the man was told he had been The officer thanked Diane for her bravery She asked if they would ask the man one Diane was curious as to why he had not When the policeman asked him, he Amazingly, whether you believe or not, Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." So true! At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile Twilight Oath | |||||
1. A Day at the Mall with the Cullens reviewsWhat happens when Bella, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice come to the mall and Emmett gets bored? Humor ensues!Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,393 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10-11-09 - Complete2. Skateboarding with Edward Cullen » reviewsBella Swan a 17-year old girl was adopted by her aunt and treated like a slave but all that changes when bella enters a skateboarding contest hosted by Edward Cullen.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,008 - Reviews: 98 - Updated: 6-14-09 - Published: 2-5-093. Edard POV in Skateboarding with Edward Cullen » reviewsOK this is Edward POV in special parts in Skateboarding with Edward Cullen and you have to read it before reading thisTwilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-14-09 - Published: 2-8-094. Party Turned Hostage Takeover » reviewsBella goes to a party hosted by Lauren Mallory with Jacob,Alice, and Rose but what happens when Emmett, Edward,, Jasper, and Nessie decide to take everybody hostage? rated t for nowTwilight - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,327 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 6-14-09 - Published: 3-4-09
