FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| MegTheVampire |
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight. Name: Meghan Cullen I will not be writing for a while, due to depression. I, Meghan Cullen, solemnly swear to forever be in love with twilight. Looks: Wears all kinds of clothes, except laderhosen or stuff like that. Short grown out Alice do, hair color is between brown and blonde. Legs are 3/4 of my body. Super skinny body type. Eyes are hazel and look cool in the sun ( in my opinion). Long arms. Personality: I am extremely hyper 24/7. Alice like, you could say. Dude I hate these things but I am very superstitious: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. I usually wouldnt do this but the thought of that scares me. I am team emmett and proud. Rosalie... watch ur neck haha. LLE is the new LOL. lle= laughing like emmett All my fave stories are in my 'favorite stories' surprised?? cuz im not!! I am a member of two clubs. The cullen sisters and For the love of cheese. First is about being a cullen. Second is about loving cheese. I am hyper. I am a shop-a-holic. sound fimiliar? coughALICEcough. Hobbies: reading, shopping, teasing Edwella, pulling pranks with emmett, duct taping carlisle to walls, making esme bake cheesecakes, fight with rosalie, steal edwards wallet, prankcalling the volturi, talking on msn, climbing trees, eavesdropping (say what u like, when u climb trees you hear things you dont mean to) I hate...: Jacob Black, ppl who stare, players (u know what i mean), fighting with ppl other than rosalie, when my friends are upset. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. 92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy and past this into your profile If you have ever tripped UP stairs, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile! If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (Lucky is just a normal leprechaun who wants his cereal) If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV. If you have ever forgotten and/or spelt your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friends have made up codenames for boys so they wouldn't know you were talking about them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wore your pajamas to school without even noticing it, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever started talking with a accent out of no where, copy and paste this onto ur profile. Edward or Emmett? Emmett Bella or alice? Alice Rosalie or Esme? Rosalie (not a big esme fan) Jacob or Seth? Seth Robert Pattinson or Kellan Lutz? K.Lutz (lol) Emmett or Emmett? Emmett!! lol Twilight or New moon? Twilight AC or space heater? AC Youtube or MySpace? Myspace Should Barbie Dolls be banned. Duh. Of course they should. Is Obama's idea of making the school year longer a good idea? Ummm... I'm a middle school girl. HECK NO! Can shopping ever be a bad thing? Nope. AHHHHHH! Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car my daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide from his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me. Her name was Aurora Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad copy and paste this if you are against child abuse and want to kick all of the abusers butts cause you hate 'em! I went to a party, Mom I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now Im lying on the pavement, My own bloods all around me, Im sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Mom Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, Mom I wish that you could hold me Mom, one message: dont drink and drive! Jessica and Jazlyn, Read this. I would like to thank my best friends for everything they do and continue to do. they put up with my mood swings and complete insanity. Any way. Jaz, Jess, i luv you guys so much. Ur like sisters to me. And out of all my friends... in any states... i hope we don't lose touch when I move.You guys are my best friends and all my stories are dedicated to ya. You guys know when to cheer me up and when to tell me I'm WAY in over my head. Thanks for puttin up with me. Luv ya like my own sistas, XOXOMeg. :) If you read this entire profile you are: A.) REALLY bored SKOOL IS OUT! No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks!! THIS IS TOO FUN: 1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle. 1. What would you say about your boyfriend? Just Dance- Lady gaga (Apparently he's a good dancer lol) 2.What is the first thing you say in the morning? White and Nerdy- Weird Al (Wakes up White and Nerdy.) 3. Your teacher is... Riot- Three Days Grace (Dude! Some of my teachers could start riots!) 4. What's written on your classroom's blackboard? No Sleep Til Brooklyn- Beastie Boys (I would be the person who wrote that.) 5. How would you describe your next door neighbours? SexyBack- Justin Timberlake (uhhh... I'm pretty sure my next door neighbor is an old man...) 6. What would your Best Friend say about you? Poker Face- Lady gaga (They actually would! Whenever this song comes on we always poke each others faces!) 7. How do you feel right now? Love game- Lady gaga (... this song does not describe how i am feeling. I wanna take a ride on ur disco stick? uh, no.) 8.What's on your bedside table right now? crushcrushcrush- paramore (...) 9.What did you do when you woke up this morning? Going Under- Evanescense (I went under? kk then) 10. When you open your wardrobe you see... Come On Get Higher- Matt Nathanson (Why is Matt Nathanson getting high in my wardrobe?!) 11. What did you say after you last attended a concert? Yeah- Usher (I rlly did say that...) 12. If you had to write a Fan Fic right now, what would it be called? Dirty Little Secret- All American Rejects (I think imma start a new fanfic now thanks! jk lol) 13. A song you would sing at your school's talent show? Cancer- My Chemical Romance (If I had to sign a song, it would be this... tears sad song.) 14. Your life's theme song? Walk like an egyptian- the bangles (Ppl who know me would say this is so me.) 15. How would you describe what you are doing this moment? Holla Back Girl- Gwen Stefani (I'm hollering back?) 16. If you had to go and jump of a building, what would your last words be? London Bridge- Fergie (I guess I'm jumping off a bridge instead...) 17. Your motto is.. Addicted- Saving Abel (Wanna hear a joke? Say addicted after everything i say. Drugs?(addicted)Beer?(addicted)What hit u in the face this morning?(addicted)) 18. If you could by anything in this world you'd buy... Everytime We Touch- Cascada (No comment) 19. What did you dream about tonight? Pocketful of Sunshine- Natasha Bedingfield (Don't you mean last nite?) 20. Any last words? Dead and Gone- TI and JustinT (I'm dead and gone peeps!) Weird Facts about Meg: I'm nocturnal. I cant eat pecan pie without watchin Popeye. I tell my teachers to keep away the nargles. When I watch Dane Cook preform I cant look away. I threw New Moon across the room when I realized Emmett was gone. Dats rite, EMMETT! I move allll the time. I luv shopping, but i cant shop for other ppl. I call my mom mumsi and my sis blondie. I call my bro lulu (his name is luke) I am hyper. OOO! So rare, i know. I think Edward is better when he is crazy or a drug addict on FF. Regular Edward is waaay too intense. I was bored one day so i decided i would try to write in zephyr font... I spel my name MegHan. Dont cal me megHan or ill break your nek. Its pronounced megan. Wanna hear a joke? Say everything i say BACKWARDS. 123 (say it backwards) abc (say it backwards) crack my finger (say it backwards) IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? Opening Credits: Waking Up: First Day At School: Making Your New Best Friend: Falling In Love: Breaking Up: Prom: Graduation: Life's Okay: Death of a Close Friend: Mental Breakdown: Driving: Flashback: Getting Back Together: Birth of Child: Wedding Scene: Car Accident: Final Battle: Death Scene: Funeral Song: End Credits: Deleted Scenes: My parents like the oddest songs... List twelve of your characters from twilight, in no particular order. 1.Emmett 2.Jacob 3.Alice 4.Rosalie 5.Edward 6.renesmee 7.Seth 8.Jasper 9.Carlisle 10.Aro 11.Esme 12.Paul 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? No, but that would be HILARIOUS! 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? I think of Rose as beautiful, hot is such an impolite word. 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?’ I would laugh my @ off at the thought of Jasper pregnant. 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? Yes. Bella was dating Carlisle but she fell in love with his son, Edward. Amazing fanfic. 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Renesmee and Jacob. Yes, becuz nessie is jakes imprint. lol. 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Edward/Aro! Cuz everyone knows that would be the funniest fic on earth. 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? If Seth walked in on Paul and Jacob, Jacob would beg him not to tell Nessie. And Seth would keep saying, "I knew it!" 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. Alice/Aro. Everyone thought Aro was after Alice for her powers. But what they don't know is that they were lovers when Alice was human. What happens when Jasper finds out? 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Emmett/Jasper. There better not be! Emmett's mine! 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. Seth/Paul. Forbidden. (IDK y!) 11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose? Breaking the Habit- Linkin Park (HELLO! Its jasper we are talkin about!) 12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Paul/Renesmee/Emmett. Paul does Jacob a favor and kidnaps Nessie. Emmett has to get her back before the Cullens come back and blame him! Lots of drama and randomness. 13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Today. 14. "(1. Emmett) and (7. Seth) are in a happy relationship until (7. Seth) runs off with (4. Rosalie). (1. Emmett), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11. Esme) and a brief unhappy affair with (12. Paul), then follows the wise advice of (5. Edward) and finds true love with (3. Alice).” uhhh... wow. How would you feel if 7/8 was canon? Uncomfortable. Jasper/Seth? uh, no. Who would make a better college professor: 6, or 11? 11. Esme. Hands down. Do you think 2 is hot? How hot? Nope. Jacob is ugly as heck and is a perv. 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed? "Get me a rifle." Jasper succeeds. Then Paul shoots himself. What would 5 most likely be arrested for? Edward - Manslaughter of Jacob after Nessie reaches puberty. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8? Jasper - i love Seth! But I have a feeling he wouldnt protect me. Jasper would! FaveCullens in order. Emmett- He is nice, sweet, funny and HELOO! He's EMMETT! Rosalie- Lots of ppl think she is a &... but I like her. She mite have stolen Emmett... but she saved him, just becuz he reminded her how much she wanted a child. She was raped by the man who she thought was "THE ONE." And she still lived through it and managed to find another love. Alice- Who doesnt like a shopaholic pixie? She is hyper and sooo much fun to write and read about. Jasper- He tries to be good for Alice. He made it through the toughest of times for vampires. The scars prove what he had been through. Bella- Wanted so badly to be with her love. She basically almost killed herself to hear Edward's voice. She has been through thick and thin. But I dont like that she kissed JAKE! BLECH! Carlisle- Is so sweet and loves his family to death (no pun intended.). He is a doctor! He has done so much to be good. Edward- I know what ur thinking... EDWARD is ur 7th fave? R U INSANE? I think Edward is too perfect... I mite like him more if the book wasnt in BPOV... but it is... and the way she pictures eddie is too good to be true... Esme- I love Esme... but she is kind of boring. She is very sweet though. She deserves to be in the spotlight more often. Renesmee- I like Nessie... but she's perfect for Jake, so i cant take her seriously. And she is just a child still by the end of BD, so i dont know her very well... ~MY 9 NAMES~ 1. YOUR REAL NAME Meghan 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: Meghizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Red Grizzly 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Veume 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: The Green gingerale 7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: EUUILAE 8.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: Anne Wilson 9. YOUR GOTH NAME: Black Vixen (I like it!) The Stupid Test! Tehe. (put an x next to the one tht is you, than in the end, add up all the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun! (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. (x) You have ran into a glass/screen door. () You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. ~total= 4~ () You have ran into a tree. () It IS possible to lick your elbow () You just tried to lick your elbow. (x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm. (x) You just tried to sing them. (x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. (x) You have choked on your own spit. () You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it. (x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice (x) You just looked at it. (x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it. () People have called you slow. ~total so far= 11~ () You have accidentally caught something on fire ( My hair, actually. ) () You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek. (x) You have caught yourself drooling. (x) You’ve fallen asleep in class (x) If someone says “fart” you laugh. (only sometimes lol) () You just laughed. ~total so far= 14~ () Sometimes you just stop thinking () You tell a story and forget what you were talking about ()people are often shaking their heads and walking away from you () You are often told to use your “inside voice”. ) You use your fingers to do simple math. ~total so far= 14~ () You have eaten a bug. () You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it (x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc. ~total so far= 16~ () You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. () You break a lot of things. () Your friends know not to use big words around you () You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused (X) You have fallen out of your chair before (x) When you’re laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling 18!! I'm not stupid! YOUR GUY SIDE: ~You love hoodies. TOTAL: 6 YOUR GIRL SIDE: ~You wear lip gloss/chapstick. TOTAL: 14... Im such a girl. LOL. -On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit She ended up staying longer than As she walked along under the tall elm When she reached the alley, which was a However, halfway down the alley she She became uneasy and began to pray, Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness When she reached the end of the alley, The following day, she read in the Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and Thanking the Lord for her safety and to She felt she could recognize the man, so The police asked her if she would be She agreed and immediately pointed out When the man was told he had been The officer thanked Diane for her bravery She asked if they would ask the man one Diane was curious as to why he had not When the policeman asked him, he Amazingly, whether you believe or not, Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (Well, that's between them and God, isn't it?) I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a terrorist. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if If you have ORFS (Obsessive Rabid Fangirl Syndrome) and are proud of it, copy this and paste it in your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you're in junior high and the boys in your class still haven't gotten rid of their cooties, copy and paste to your profile. If you think fighting is fun, but war is pointless, copy this into your profile. Funny Twilight stuff: The future is not always set in stone you cane enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine Verify news before doing something stupid Love can be like heaven in the middle of hell They can't make them like a Cullen any more It's understandable for little kids to be scared of doctors. Especially vampire doctors! Mythical creatures seem to like rain. having a pulse is over-rated Edward Cullen puts the Greek gods to shame Real men sparkle Hybrids are cool 'Vegatarian' has many meanings Clumsy is not something to be ashamed of Rain isn't an omen, just unavoidable Hearing voices in your head doesn't mean you're crazy you can lie in your thoughts What's dangerous to the body is dangerous to the heart stupid lambs and sick masochistic lions are good pairs Everyone has a soul mate, even if it takes a hundred years to find yours Imprinting can suck Nothing beats an irritable grizzly. 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Emmett THE ANSWERS 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! --Basics-- Name: Meghan Louise Cullen --Favorites-- Color: Blue, green, and topaz. Cartoon: Spongebob --Do You-- Have any siblings: 2 --Love & All That Crap-- Ever been in love: Yes --This or That-- Fruit or Vegetable: Veggies --Have You Ever-- Danced in a public place: YEP! I rocked it out 2! Talked to someone you don't know: Nope, at least i dont think so. --Random & Silly Junk-- Are you a virgin: I'm 12! Twitter= Megsybug 100 questions: 7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? First grade where there was no drama and everyone got along 14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER? Has to be a dark hair color (Not even red will do) and eyes can be green or blue. 26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Yep 32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? I text. 71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Last time I checked, lol. BTW! That wasnt 100 questions If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice? 2. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner. 3. What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way? 4. Why do our noses run and our feet smell? 5. What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"? 6. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? 7. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? 8. When someone with multiple personalities threathens suicide, can that be considered a hostige situation? 9. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice? 10. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? 11. Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare? 12. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? 13. If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil? 14. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? 15. If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons? 16. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? 17. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? 20. If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? 22. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? 23. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? 24. Psychics never win the lottery. Why is that? 25. How can two space ships meeting always face the right way up in Sci-Fi movies? 26. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? 27. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 28. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? 29. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? 30. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? 31. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? 32. If you blame someone for your failures, do you credit them for your achievements? 33. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? 34. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 35. How come everyone's going so slow if it's called rush hour? 36. Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?? 37. Why do we chop a tree "down" and then chop it "up"? 38. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? 39. Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren't we clean when we use them? 40. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If money doesn't make us happy, then what does it do? 42. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? 43. If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it? 44. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 45. When people say "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," What side is the right side? 46. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 47. Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase? 48. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? 49. When Puerto Rico joins the union, where will they put the 51st star? 50. Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G? A Twilight Survey Which book in the series is your favorite? BD, becuz everything was solved. How long did it take you to read the books? I got twilight in a library, read new moon and eclipse online in one day then waited 8 months for BD. i almost died. Who introduced you to the books? Some girl came to our class and read a passage from it as an example of 'descriptive writing'. It was the meadow scene. SHE RUINED THE WHOLE THING! Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? Bought Twilight. BD. eclipse then new moon. Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie? MIDNIGHT SUN!! What's your dream ending to the series? Jacob dies and Nessie falls for Seth. Edward and Bella live happily ever after. Favorites: EMMETT Who's your favorite vampire? EMMETT Who is your favorite werewolf? Seth What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? Anything that comes out of Emmetts mouth. LOVE HIM! What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment? UMMM... the honeymoon. it was so sweet! What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment? ICK! When she punched him! How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment? When Bella is held hostage. What was your favorite adventure/battle? When Alice and Bella run off to rescue Edward in Volterra Which book cover was your favorite? BD!! Are these books among your favorite books of all? They are my faves! This or That? Twilight or New Moon? Twilight New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse Eclipse or Twilight? Twilight Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun? Midnight Sun Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie? Midnight Sun The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn? Breaking Dawn Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? Edward Who do you like more: Bella or Edward? Edward Bella or Jacob? Bella Bella or Alice? Alice Alice or Jacob? Alice Rosalie or Alice? Rosalie Jasper or Alice? Jasper Jasper or Edward? Jasper Carlisle or Esme? Carlisle Emmett or Jasper? Emmett Emmett or Jacob? Emmett Bella or Rosalie? Rosalie Esme or Charlie? Charlie Charlie or Carlisle? Charlie Charlie or Billy? Charlie Jacob or Sam? Sam Sam or Quil? Quil Quil or Embry? Quil Who's the better villain: James or Victoria? Victoria. Werewolves or Vampires? VAMPIRES!! Movie Stuff: How did you first find out about the movie? I was obsessed with Twilight and then i saw on twilighters.org that there was a movie comin out. I freaked. Are you excited? About upcoming movies YESSSSSS! What do you think of the casting so far? I LOVE THEM! RPATTZ is just causing drama though. Are you going to go see it? Upcoming movies yes. Planning on going with anyone in particular? My bffs and mumsi. lol Do you think it stayed true to the book? Twilight, no. Breaking Dawn Speculation: Are you planning on buying this book as soon as it's out? I did. Do you think Bella will be turned into a vampire finally? She has. Do you think she and Edward will get married? Duh. she already did. Do you think Jacob might imprint in this book? Ick. I was hopin he would be alone forever. Who do you think Bella will end up with : Edward or Jacob? Edward. Jacob can suck it. Do you think it will be a happy, sad, or shocking ending? I cant believe its OVER!! SAAAAD Who do you think will be the villain(s) of the book this time? Volturi. I know they are. How would you feel about a possible vampire / werewolf cross? never. already read this book! Will Charlie find out Edward is a vampire? Not in BD, but later on, yes. Will the vampires and werewolves continue the truce they had in Eclipse? Oh no. read the book and the dumb dogs considered breaking it. If anyone, who do you think will die in this book? I was praying Jacob would die- but of course it didn't happen For a twist: what would you think if Edward was somehow turned human? THAT WOULDVE BEEN AWESOME! Do you think Jacob will be over Bella by the end of the book? He imprinted on her freakin daughter. I hate you jake. u ruined renesmees life. What do you most want to happen in Breaking Dawn? JAKE WILL DIE!! What's your dream ending? For bella to be turned into a vamp and for emmett to have more screen time in da book. (A Few Last Things:) In which book did you like Bella's character best? BD. She actually grew up. How about Edward's? He didnt change any. Jacob's? Never liked him. Alice's? New moon, SHE saved Bella, not the dumb dog If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person? EMMETT! Or jake to kill him. Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, >He told his friends that it was cool, >And when he pulled the trigger back, >It shot with a great, huge crack. >Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, >I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! >When I went to school that day, >I never said good-bye. >I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. >When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, >And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. >Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, >And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. >And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, >And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now >And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best >Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest >Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, >And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass >Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. >But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. >And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try >I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. >Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, >But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest >When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could >please listen to me if you would, >I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new >I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo >I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, >I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. >But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, >Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. >I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true >And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, xXKatieCullenX, Bby-Leyla-Vamp, Shiny-silver-volvo-stalker, MegTheVampire Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you think Preps travel in packs, copy and paste this into your profile Makes them harder to kill...(shifty eyes) If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. ۩If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix copy this into your profile. ۩If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab copy this into your profile ۩If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile. Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks He who laughs last didn't get it. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his freinds, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER! Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool LANE? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can' he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your Ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso . 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! renessme, jacob made out with your mom...twice. Stephenie Meyer goes ahead and makes Bella order a Coke in Twilight, but in New Moon, on the plane, she says that Bella has low tolerance for caffeine... or was it Coke? Or pop? Something along those lines. But, whatever. WTF! Edward leaves again fanfics. He's just not going to do that!! I wish people would stop writing those fanfics for a non good reason like in New Moon. Models who try to act. Come on, you've already got a nice, pretty face, and you've gotta go out there and destroy television?! Doesn't make any sense to me. Racists. Do I need to elaborate? You're born as who you are, and no one should give you shit for that. People say I'm freakish, and who am I to argue? when people say to me "your so weird" i just answer "i'd rather be weird and uniqe, the average and boring like you". Jeff Dunham rocks Achmed :D Silence, I kill you I am extremely random and PROUD OF IT! why is it that when we ship things by ship it's called cargo, but when we ship things by car it's called a shipmeant? boyfriends: all the good ones are either gay,married,or fictional characters in movies or books (coughemmettcullencough). dance like no ones watching,sing like no ones listening. always forgive your enemies-nothing annoys them so much. if pain is beauty i must be fucking gorgeous. the hardest thing in life is to be so in love with someone and watch painfully as they are in love with someone else. boys are like trees they take 50 years to grow up. i agree with the dictoinary.girls before guys,partying before studying,and friends before love. life isnt passing me by,its trying to run me over. a preety girl can kiss a guy a bird can kiss a butterfly the rising sun can kiss the grass but you my friend can kiss my ass. WBWAVS- wishing bella was a vampire symdrome AV- addicted to vampires LES- love emmett syndrome AACIBD-addicted to all cullens including bella WIWAVS-wishing i was a vampire syndrome and g-d (carlisle) said "let there be emmett"... and it was good. i have a mind like a steel trap;it is rusty and illegal in 47 states. so many pedestrians-so little time. if at first you dont succeed,cheat,repeat untill caught,then lie. im a cruel,heartless,bitch but im damn good at it. mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young. join the army,visit exotic places,meet strange people,then kill them. i brake for. . . oh shit no brakes! saw it,wanted it,threw a fit,got it. i live in a world of rainbows,hearts,bunnies,and unicorns.the rainbow is only in shades of grey and black.the hearts are broken and bleeding.the bunnies are acting all emo again and the unicorns are cutting themselves with their horns. . . all in all its my perfect life. last night i lay in bed looking up at the sky and i thought to myself where the heck is the ceiling! you say im not cool.but cool is another word for cold.if im not cold im hot.and i know im hot thanks. a friend will help you move a body a best friend will help you move the dead body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway. i find it kinda funny i find it kinda sad the dreams in which im dying are the best i've ever had. i used to be normal untill i met the freaks i call my friends. i wanted to kill the sexiest person alive then i realized oh yeah suicides a bad thing. im an angel honest!the horns are just there to keep the halo straight. dont hate yourself in the morning,sleep till noon. inside this body lies that of a skinny girl but i shut her up with chocolate. dont follow in my footsteps,i tend to walk into walls. i hate sleeping at night.i dream about how perfect you are then i wake up and reality reminds me i cant have you. therapist=the/rapist (ouch) they say "guns dont kill people,people kill people".well i tink guns help.if you stood there and yelled "bang" i dont think you'll kill many people. learm from your parents,use birth control. an apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well aimed. right now i'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time.i think i've forgotten this before. people who eat jellybeans fart in technicolor. officer i swear to drunk i'm not g-d. some people are like slinkies. . . they're not good for anything but its fun to watch them fall down the stairs. save the earth.it's the only planet with chocolate. the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you cant have them. a friend gives you their umbrella in the rain,a best friend takes yours and says "run-beep-run". who ever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving a door. none of us are virgins-life screwed us all. fight crime:shoot back. g-d made mud g-d made dirt g-d made boys so girls can flirt. all tresspassers will be shot.survivors will be shot again. there are three kinds of people:those who can count and those who cant. guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot. there is a fine line between insanity and stupidity.feel free to cross it. i'm the kind who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence becasue of something that happened yesterday. emmett cullen: Hotter, better, funnier than you since 1916 (tehe, changed it) jasper hale: charming ladies since 1843 (Nope, dats emmett) alice cullen:quirkier than you since 1901 rosalie hale:better than you since 1916 edward cullen:more depressing than you since 1901 (LOL I changed it mwahahaha) bella swan: luckier than you since 1990 (yeah rite. ROSALIE is lucky!) they laugh because i'm different. . . i laugh because they are all the same. who was the first person to look at a cow and say "i think i'll squeeze these dangly things here"? 1 out of 4 people are insane.look at your three best friends if its not them its you. guys:no shirt,no service girls:no shirt:no charge. we said friends forever we even made a pact but now we're going our seperate ways we're not even looking back. you laugh i laugh you cry i cry you hurt i hurt you jump off a bridge i get a paddle boat and save your sorry ass! apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese,there are five people in my family so it must be one of them.its either my mom or dad,my older brother collin,or my younger brother ho-chan-chu,but i think its collin. g-d made rivers g-d made lakes g-d made the yankees but we all make mistakes. stupid is just a five letter word. i didnt lose my mind i sold it on e-bay. smile and the whole world will smile with you,laugh and they'll all think you're on drugs. smiles and tears,giggles and laughs,late night calls and cute photographs,i'll be there for you till da day of my death,best gurlies forever till my very last breath. a wise man once said 'go ask a woman'. TEAM ROSALIE: because deep down we all think she's awesome. TEAM JASPER: because he can snap at me anytime. TEAM ESME: because she's the coolest mother ever. TEAM EMMETT: because we all love a guy with muscles. TEAM EDWARD: because we wish all guys were this perfect. (Edwards not perfect... emmett is.) TEAM CARLISLE: because all doctors should be this hot. TEAM BELLA: because she's Edward's girl. TEAM ALICE: because seeing things before they happen rocks. HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG! POST THIS IF YOU THINK SO!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. was a little sad when i saw you with her but then i laughed because she was ugly Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. My favorite word is sarcasm. "I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin "You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity. I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else. Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that. I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to. i dont suffer from insanity i enjoy evry minute of it Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? Why are the Force and duct tape the same?- Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. BABY I LUV U You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump out a window , Ima miss your sorry ass. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I don't obsess! I think intensely. Be who you are and say what you feel for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind- Dr.Suess If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile. Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, ( I think it's Colin.shhhh) Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes. "Never hire a colorblind electrician." "If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it." "Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject." "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" "A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking." "Maybe this world is another planet's hell." "Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug." "I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib." "Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it." "After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done." "At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote." "Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill." "The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future." Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore. "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. If you can't convince them, confuse them. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it. If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation. You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it. Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write. You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club. You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say. The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs. Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway. Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. SARCASM is just another free service I offer. I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking Education is important; school however, is another matter Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either. Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Trying is the first step toward failure. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”? Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic. Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one? I apologize, do you want me to mean it too? Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation? "Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face." "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." "All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand." "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." “I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V. You know you need a boyfriend when cartoon characters start looking amazingly HOT! Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style. So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head. Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face. I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. I love my computer, because my friends live in it. I'm the person your mother warned you about If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again. Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research. I hear voices, and they don't like you. Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs? Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already ¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨) "REMEMBER WHEN REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now! Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you. 9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Funny Stuff: When Obama tells his children to clean their rooms, he ends with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message!" An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. When life gives you lemons go out & buy vodka. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _' Twilight Oath | |||||
1. Saved » reviewsEdward finds 6 year old Bella being attacked in an ally during his rebellious years. He saves her. Will their friendship grow into something more as Bella grows up? I suck at summaries. Just read it!Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 29 - Words: 35,649 - Reviews: 481 - Updated: 12-22-09 - Published: 3-30-09 - Edward & Bella2. Complete » reviewsEdward is completely happy, until he starts to think of his mom. Then he feels not so complete. What chaos will happen when Elizabeth returns as a vampire and does NOT approve of Bella? OOC! Rated T cuz I say so. Oh and no lemons... I'm just a kid!Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,155 - Reviews: 86 - Updated: 3-27-09 - Published: 3-9-09 - Edward & Elizabeth - Complete
