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Deceptionist
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since: 12-27-08, id: 1782370, Profile Updated: 08-26-09
country: China
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hey there!!

Dang, I changed my name AGAIN. I've really got to make up my mind. Wow, that's gotta be a first.

I think I might change it back. O.o

Okay, I know this is a profile (duh) so I'm gonna introduce myself.

I read a lot. A LOT. Have I meantioned A LOT? Haha. I don't lend people my books unless they receive a lot of death threats beforehand. Dog-ear it and I'll poison you with cyanide.

Oh, and I lovelovelove Starbucks! Go de-caff lattes!! Seriously, why didn't someone invent them earlier?! They think wristwatches are 'neat' (haha, got that of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), and then take their own sweet time over essentials like LATTES?! Yeah, I'm just over-reacting, I know.

I eat a lot, but I'm not fat. Yet. If I was, the world would just end. Seriously. But I have a 'high metabolism'. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. I hate things like that. Waste of brain space. Ugh.

I'm a Ravenclaw, which means I'm really smart (I think). Yay! I'm also TV-obsessed, which explains my glasses. They're not those thick ugly ones that you see Daniel Radcliffe wearing in Harry Potter. Ugh. As if. I hate Daniel Radcliffe. No offence to his fans. I'm incredibly fashion-forward. Mum says I waste too much money for my own good, but honestly, who listens to mothers nowadays? And money is there to be spent, right? I'm sure all you shopaholics out there agree with me. So... I watch a lot of TV. I have cable (don't know how anyone lives without it, honestly), but I can't watch so much anymore, on account of it being the new year and all my teachers suddenly decide to turn into homework-giving psychopaths. They are such insert word of choice here.

I love Edward and Bella! I think they make the perfect couple! GO EDWARD AND BELLA!! Jacob is okay, I guess. I never really did like him. He's too pushy. No offence to all those Jacob-luvers out there. I used to be one too, until my best friends made it their personal mission in life to convert me into a Team Edward. Unfortunately. Or not, depending on your point of view.

I've already got another Edward-Bella idea sparking. I'll start one that once I'm done with my story. I have a very wild imagination. It tends to get out of hand sometimes. Not much we can do about that, can we? I love writing. Can't believe it took me this long to actually start writing fanfics. I'm a computer illiterate, you see. A total retard. Sob... So whatever!

And and and, since I have a totally fantah-bulous bestie, I absolutely have have have to tell the whole world! And disappoint all my future fans out there... Sorry, you guys! (girls??)

I should stop now, I guess. Mum's going to throw a hissy fit. I was supposed to be using the computer for online French homework. Hahas. Who honestly cares?

Now, the real stupid fun starts...


Guy-Girl Stuff

A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad Follow her
When she stare's at your mouth Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you Grab her and don't let go
When she start's cussing at you Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet Ask her what's wrong
When she ignores you Give her your attention
When she pulls away Pull her back
When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared Protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up
When she say's that she likes you she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes don't look away until she does
When she misses you she's hurting inside
When you break her heart the pain never really goes away
When she says its over she still wants you to be hers
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
Give her the world.
Let her wear your clothes.
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she's important.
Kiss her in the pouring rain.
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

Find the guy that calls you BEAUTIFUL instead of hot,

who calls YOU BACK when YOU HANG up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for HOURS and listen to your heart beat,

or will stay awake just to WATCH YOU sleep,

wait for the guy that kisses your FORHEAD,

who keeps YOUR PICTURE in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in SWEATPANTS,

who holds your hand in front of ALL HIS FRIENDS,

who thinks your beautiful WITHOUT makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he CARES and how he is LUCKY to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live even if he died. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste

Tottaly Random Things I Thought Were Funny

Person # 1: Happiness is just around the corner.

Person # 2: Too bad the world is round!

Never knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and hide, he hates that.

I'm not afraid of death; what's it gonna do, kill me?

Your wierdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

WARNING: DO NOT follow in my footsteps...I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun!

Growing old is mandatory, growing up however...

Before you criticize someon walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticze them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

You see dead people, but I see regular people and it burns!!

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me!

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I am enjoying every minute of it.

I believe that you should live everyday as if its your last, which is why my room is such a mess. I mean come on who wants to clean their room on their last day?!

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver...

Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalks.

Life is like a pack of gum...I've yet to figure out why.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Come to the dark side...we found the Cullens!

I smile because I have no idea what is going on.

I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call friends (I love you guys! :D)

Therapist= The/rapist...scary thought

There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "I" in PIE, and thereis an "I" in MEATPIE, and MEAT is an anogram of TEAM...

I'm not paronoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!!

Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then for the rest of our lives tell us to sit down and SHUT UP!!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder while coming in a boat to save your sorry butt!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that I just got that happened yesterday

Isn't it funny how the word politics is made up of the Latin word "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning blood-sucking creatures?

What happens if you get scared to death twice?

You know its going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more then one night..."

I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless. Maybe.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt!"?

The dinasours extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed sicide.

Docters say I have muitiple personality disorder. We disagree.

I didn't say it was your fault...just that I was going to blame you

You can blame all your problems on my two imagenary friends "Steve" and "Candy". They don't mind.

I'm not random, I just have many th- OH LOOK A SQUIRELL!!

In America- SPREAD THE STUPIDITY!!:

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. (MY FAVE!)

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature. ( I want to be a politician! coughcough vampire coughcough )

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Only in America do we have problems with obesity, but still let kids roam around once a year looking for free candy

Those copy and paste things everyone loves so much

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. (Why would I?)

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile

If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you've ever fallen off a chair backwards.

If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile

If you've ever had a random spazz out moment in the middle of class or a quiet room, put this in your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

FRIENDS vs. BEST FRIENDS (I swear on my life I would totally do all that below for my BFF. Otherwise she'd take my life. Haha)

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will cry with you and then go beat up the sorry loser who made you cry

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Will be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: At your funeral would be crying

BEST FRIENDS: Sorry I'll be in jail for killing the jerk who murdered you!

Ah-ha! My BFF lookingforthelight totally C&P-ed this into her profile! Stupid! I didn't do it! Haha, I don't have freakin' time.

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!:

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

You know you live in 2008 when...

1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

I am the kind of girl who's not afraid to go through life alone and who has learned to care very little what others think. I walk aroundmuttering lyrics of some random song under my breath and all of my teachers have learned to discard the doodles in the margins of my papers. I scribble out rather than erase and wouldrather stay at home and read a book than go to a school dance. I appreciate respect and in return give it to those who gave it to me. I don't fight over stupid things like clothes and looksor hang out with those who have died their hair more times than others. I spend more time predicting the future than reminiscing over the past and would rather be made fun of by the populars than join them. I am the one who tells people my honest opinion but nicely and pretty much tells it like it is. Avoiding populars is everyday business and I scream when I find out we aren't allowed to bring iPods on our field trip. I mainly act real strong and learn to lie very well...it's required when you've gotta be nice to people who have called you a freak numerous times "behind your back." Yep..that's me. Nice, right? (i owe this to xLove-Hate-Relationshipx i loved it so i stole it. it kinda describes me.:))

"Help! I've fallen and I can't--Hey! Nice carpet!"

There are no stupid questions...just stupid people.

You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.

My imaginary friend thinks you have issues.

Flying is very simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

We can take a lesson from Crayons. Some are sharp(most aren't, though), some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are unique, but they all learn to live
together in the same box.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door then apologizes.

Don't look at me in that tone!(i had a teacher tell me this. my friends and i laughed and we got sent out of the classroom!)

Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?

When life gives you lemons, make Grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you can't beat them, join them
If you can't join them, sue them,
then rub it in their faces.

How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged?

Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.

The past is just the future with the lights on.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

"Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary.

Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity.

Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is our way of saying "You can't fire me! I quit!"

If you know me, chances are, you hate me.

Sticks and Stones can break my bones,
But words can hurt my inner child.


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My name is Sarah
and I am but three
My eyes are swollen
And I cannot see.
I must be stupid.
I must be bad.
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better.
I wish I weren't ugly.
Then maybe my mommy
Would want to hug me.
I can't speak at all.
I can't do a wrong.
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.
When I'm awake, I'm all alone
The house is dark.
My folks aren't home.
When mommy does come,
I'll try and be nice
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car!
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the hard wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes.
I'm so afraid now.
I'm starting sry.
He finds me weeping.
He shouts ugly words.
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more.
I finally get free.
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl.
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!" I scream.
But its much too late--
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please, God, Have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And he heads for the door.
While I lay motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah,
And I ambut three.
Tonight, my daddy
Murdered me.
Sniff, sniff. Child abuse...make it stop! No one should have to suffer like that!


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Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
Calling me Stupid, won't make you Smart.
Calling me Weak, won't make you Strong.
Calling me Ugly, won't make you Pretty.
Calling me Poor, won't make you Rich.
Calling me Fat, won't make you Perfect?
So why bother?

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24 Things I owe to my Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
"Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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Her name was Aurora
She was only Five.
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in the Attic

Her only friend
Was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
Unlock the Door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

She grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet, but thinking
"God, Why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom sudddenly
Grabbed for the knife
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find a sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms.

Again, Sniff, sniff

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Please read this poem that I found. I think it really says something,
so if you are someone who thinks that you are better than someone else,
You ARE wrong. Because we are all human, and each life is worth the same,
No matter where we come from, what tongue we speak in, nor how we look.

So please read this poem. Thank you. A lot.

I know I'm not perfect,
I know I'm a geek, in many ways,
I know I listen to "Weird" bands,
I know I like to read,
I know I like school, even teachers.

BUT:
I know I have true friends,
I know I'm loved,
I know who I love,
I know I can overcome ups and downs.
And I know who I am.

Anything else you'd like to throw at me?

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I am a girl,

Harsh but vulnerable,
Sarcastic but silly,
Stupid but
thoughtful,
Thorny but tender,
Funny but serious.
Loud but passive,
Dramatic but bland,

An open book,
Easy to love, easy to hate
Clumsy but occassionally coordinated,
Independent but dependent on friends,

An oxymoron,
A puzzling paradox,
An unsolvable contradiction,

And totally proud of it.

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(One day in my Technology class with my teacher, Ms. Annins...)

Ms. Annins: ...You have to tell the computer exactly what you want it to do! It can't read your mind!!

ME: (Sighs)...Technology is no replacement for Edward Cullen.

(Me and my friend Anna one day)...

Megan: If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I got arrested for?

Me: (pauses to think for a moment, smiling) Hm...Assault...murder...grand theft auto...not sure which, though most likely murder.

Anna: Yeah, I agree.

(I have such good friends, don't you think?)

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Thanks for reading, it means alot to me.

I'm not afraid of the dark...I'M AFRAID OF THE NINJAS HIDING IN IT!!

WARNING!!

CAREFUL OR YOU'LL END UP IN MY NOVEL!!

(Seriously. I have a shirt that says that. Really. I do. )

Good Friend Vs. Best Friend

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend will walk into your house without ringing the doorbell or knocking, a best friend will walk in and yell,"I'm home!"

A good friend will call your parents by their first names, a best friend will call them Mom and Dad.

A good friend will tell you that your a great singer even if you're terrible, a best friend will tell you that you suck.

A good friend will tell you a little white lie. A best friend tells you the truth, no matter what.

A good friend forgot your birthday. A best friend reminded the whole town how old you turned.

A good friend will forget to give you back the jeans that she borrowed. A best friend has at least three outfits that you used to own, but mysteriously disappeared...

A good friend doesn't know your middle name. A best friend knows your parents'.

Annoying things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

- I'm gonna do that one of these days...

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

My new quote
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand
up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do
you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you
standing there all by yourself!"

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself
beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a
tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention i n class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the
horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad,
why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying
horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape be fore
I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to
buy Mom."(it doesn't matter how many times i read this one i always laugh!)

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.

Girl:Slow down, i'm scared.

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, slow down.

Guy:Now give me a big hug

She gave him a big hug

Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people

were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the

breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she

loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he

would die. If you would do the same for the person you love, copy this in your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

-Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table: 239.99. Hot Breakfast: 4.20. Two Aspirins: .38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!


if Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 of Americans and Canadians that is yelling "JUMP BITCH!" copy and paste this in to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Jasper Hale somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Jasper Hale), copy this into your profile.

If you think all the good ones are either married, gay, or fictional creatures, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you like to write, copy/paste this in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you have/had a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character, then copy and post this into your profile

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least)

Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this into your profile.

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just to help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you jsut see two reveiws, paste this in your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.

A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friend sits there laughing their ass off saying, "Dude, you're an idiot!"

If you have an annoying younger --or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.(one of my friends can do it)

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.

you think TV Golf is the mst boring thing on TV... copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.(saw 3. it was sad.)

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile

If 2 of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you be standing there laughing your ass off. If you are copy and paste this

If you hate ShikaTema copy+paste this to profile

If you think Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan should stay in Rehab copy paste this

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

have you ever been hurt because you daydreaming,if you have copy and paste on your profile

have your friends tell you that you are to obsess with fics that you are scaring them, copy and paste this.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303,Thank you people who are nice, AfterDarkHours, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, kamiry, hinata 7875960400, Jasper's Delicate Angel, JazzyLover


98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Flower of the Desert, Blue Tiger-chan, BleedingSaro, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, kamiry, hinata 7875960400, Jasper's Delicate Angel, JazzyLover


COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU HATE STEREOTYPES! BOLD THE ONES THAT APPLY TO YOU

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short


I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I HAVE a BIG FAMILY siblings, so WE MUST be financially challenged

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too

I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet

I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I must just be Emo.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be Emo.

I like COUNTRY music, so I MUST be a redneck hick.


This is Written by a Guy!!

Not Me i Just Thought It Was Cute

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it makes us kinda mad.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there..

We don't care if a guy calls >OR TEXTSbut at 2 in the morning we do get a littl e concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.

That it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it..

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you!

dont 'feel bad'

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say 'thank you.

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to
wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up..

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown,
Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'
i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; )

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!

Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population
and find someone who will treat you with utter respect

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'i love you' .and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this


Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.(my mother has to jut out her chin because she foged up the mirror)

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved

Oh so cute! Bunny!

()()

('.')

('')('')

Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination, and
come join the dark side, we've got cookies.

(All credits to this hilarious back part goes to... harrypottermeetstwilight! -she did say people could copy and paste- Now let's all clap and cheer, whether you like it or not, or I'll beat you up. With a few minor adjustments...)

You know you love me (lol, that was so Gossip Girl)

Deceptionist

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. Bella of the Volturi » reviews
Edward never came back. Bella was changed by Laurent. Now, she's one of the Volturi's elite, and her broken heart is almost healed; she is engaged to another in the guard. But what happens when she's sent on a mission to foil Victoria's latest plan?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,987 - Reviews: 143 - Updated: 11-16-09 - Published: 2-27-09 - Bella & Edward
2. Jacob Came First reviews
Bella and Jacob have been chilhood friends for, like, ever. She knows he's a werewolf and just about all his other secrets. Oh, and they're going out. So what happens when the Cullens move to dreary Forks and Bella meets a certain bronze-haired vampire?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,250 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-25-09 - Bella & Edward
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