Hey y’all. Machi’s the name, making you feel as uncomfortable as legally possible’s the game. And today, I’ll be teaching you how to use "box" in Chinese sentences. But really, people...bacon? It’s all I can do not to cut myself with my own fake nails. Honestly.

Fact: I love pink.
Fact: emememe.
Fact: You're jealous of me and my life. You know you are.
Fact: Bears eat beets. (oh ho ho. see what i did there?)
Fact: I need to get out more.
Fact: I’m an introvert
Fact: I can get annoying. Often. So those impulses to hit me with something–say, a baseball bat or a Morning Star–will come frequently.
Fact: I would very much enjoy a dish of ice cream.
Fact: I am Watari. And Santa. And Flavor Flav.
Fact: I cried when my mom wouldn’t buy me the movie Panic Room. It was three bucks on VHS. Three. Bucks. THREE.
Fact: I can have mood swings. Expect them.
Fact: My friends lie to Jordan.
Fact: I would so take that pill. Chika knows which one I’m talking about.
Fact: I think there are too many people named "Amy" in the world.
Fact: I listen to Britney Spears. And Luppi strips to it.
Fact: Aside from Britney, the occasional Miley Cyrus, and some Taylor Swift, I also listen to Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, 3OH!3, and things of the like. Cuz I’m an odd one like that.
Fact: Luppi is not nannerpuss. Deal with it.
Fact: I cannot control Keegan or his uncontrollable desires to steal my pencils.
Fact: I spend too much time not doing my homework.
Fact: I hate Dial-Up.
Fact: I love lists.
Fact: I cannot listen to "We Are Broken" by Paramore in the dark. I just can’t. It totally freaks me out.
Fact: The alternate ending to ‘Paranormal Activity’ the movie where Katie slits her throat SUCKS.
Fact: I’m proud of you if you’ve read this far into my facts.
Fact: Listening to "Starstrukk" by 3OH!3 depresses me.
Fact: I feel strongly about us Disposables.
Fact: I am NOT a thief.
Fact: Kent tosses things at my friends' heads, but he said he thinks I'm nice. Boom.

"Heh, Cake."