Well hello there! Welcome to my profile! Btw my user name used to be pirateKitten11893, but I felt like I outgrew it so I changed it! XD

I'm a girl due to that fact that I indeed possess boobs and ovaries . I loves me some fanfictions! XD Eh...what else? I'm short...actually, no, I'm FUN SIZED, BITCHES! My hair color varies between plain brown to the color of an eggplant, my dark eye color changes with my emotions, and my style changes according to my mood. Suck it, I'm not very specific. My best friend is Kelly AKA Emrixa, she's one sick puppy, but I love her. Check her out.

Name: like I'd really tell you!! Location: STALKER!! Age: between 18 and 21

MMkay, can't think of anything else, so here's a list of FAVORITES!!
FOOD: RAMEN!! (ANY flavor works for me except veggie YUCK!!) and steak, rare. and when i say rare, i mean still mooing.
COLOR: Onyx, jade green, silver, blood red
CANDY and or SWEETS of any variety!: POCKY AND TAIYAKI!! YUM!!!!
NUMBER: 5
PLACE: London, FOR THE WIN!
ANIMALS: felines and big canines (pitbull, husky,german Shepard...) if its small enough to fit in my purse is NOT a dog, it's a RAT with a blowdry!!
SHOW: (non anime) Law and Order SVU, In Plain Sight, House, Charmed (POWER of 3!! lol) and The Vampire Diaries XD
MOVIE: 10 Things I Hate About You (Heath Ledger R.I.P)
BOOKS: The Twilight and Harry Potter sagas (SAY NOTHING YOU SKANKS!!) and the works of the great Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!
RANDOM: I have what my friends like to call "melons", seriously My BFF's brother once took a watermelon out of his refrigerator, held it up to my chest and said "HOLY SHIT, they're the SAME SIZE!!" lol

post if you like.

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

(Put this on your page if u like music)
(o) music

this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!)

If you want to smack the living daylights out of Sasuke for abandoning Sakura, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you hate NejiHina copy this into your profile

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say ZAC EFRON
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say Im WEIRD
I say YES I AM
92 of the teenage population has moved on to RAP.
If YOU are part of the 8 that still headbang and love rock then put this on ur site!

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ...
... ... ..0... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

POST THESE!!

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your butt off.(It's SO obvious)

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If you have a really bad memory, copy and...what was I doing again?

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.(when I do it with other people around me they think I'm crazy!Hmm..I wonder why?)

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would LOVE to know how Naruto's going to end, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

Abortion:

I am six weeks old today, a special treat for me.

I have a pair of big blue eyes, so one day I shall see.

Where are we going, Mummy? All the rain is puring down.

As it hits the sidewalk it makes a funny sound.

Bang bang go the doors, all the men dressed in green.

If they try to hurt you, Mummy, run away and scream.

Help me, Mummy, help me, they are pulling me apart!

First of all my body, last of all my heart.

I love you mummy, belive me, yes I do.

But most of all, Mummy, I thought you loved me too.

Say no to abortion!

Ugly the cat

"Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.
The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye and where the other should have been was a hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner.
Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby, striped type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, and even his shoulders.
Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!!"
All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction.
If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in forgiveness.
Whenever he spied children, he would come running, meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love.
If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbour's dogs. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.
As I picked him up and tried to carry him home, I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. It must be hurting him terribly, I thought.
Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear. Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying, was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring.
Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.
Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.
Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me...

I will always try to be...Ugly. "

If this story has touched your heart in any way, PLEASE Copy and Paste it to your profile

Listen Kiddo's!! ItAsAkU-LoVeR and Takara Makoto are trying to get FF.net to give out awards like : Best review, (and for stories) Most reviews, Most Alerts, Most favorites, Etc. And they can all be given at the end of a month! (THIS IS ALL ItAsAkU-LoVeR's Idea!!)The home page, should be more colorful like..there should be random designs of it. They should put ...stuff up like Naruto on the Naruto fanfictions!! If you agree, then talk to ItAsAkU-LoVeR !. ItAsAkU-LoVeR IS THE BRAINS OF THIS FABULOUS IDEA :D No credit goes to me! HUZZAH! SPREAD THE WORD!! PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE!!

If you love Sasuke and Sakura fics paste this onto your page

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile

If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your cell phone, copy and paste this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile

If you can freak someone out just by glaring at them, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy the hell out of somebody copy and paste this to your profile

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you have embarassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile

If you have a really bad memory, copy and...what was I doing again?

If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, add this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, xnarutoxrocksx, widgetofdoom666, xXFallenCherryBlossomXx, koolbrunette06, Sessy52, Suzu-chan08

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and your friends have anime/movie nicknames for each other, copy and paste this into your profile

If sometimes you just read and tune the people around you out, copy and paste this into your profile

If sometimes you got in trouble by your teacher for reading in class, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name below! Suzu-chan08

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1:At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down

2:Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3:Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4:Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5:Put Decaf in the coffee maker(home or work), When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction switch to espresso

6:In your memo book, on all your checks put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7:Finish all your sentences with" In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8:Don't use any punctuation

9:As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10:Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11:Specify that your drive thru order is "TO GO"

12:Sing along at the opera

13:Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14:Put mosquito netting around your work area(or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17:When the cash comes out of the ATM yell " I WON, I WON"

18:When exiting the Zoo start running toward the parking lot yelling " Run for your lives they're loose"

19:Tell your children, or younger sibling that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile

If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.

If there are times you just want to annoy people for the heck of it, copy and paste this on your profile

If your mom says your special on the inside, copy and paste this in your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Weird is the same as different which means the same as unique! Which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this on your profile

Everyone is weird. So you have to be at least a little weird to be normal, right? If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandal
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be doing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL/BOY so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help POINTING OUT MISTAKES so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
Stop the stereotyping.

I got this off Numeral

Pick Up-line and shut downs

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Translations: Japan - English (((not by me!)))

Jobun = Foreword
Shô = Chapter

Ichi = One
Ni = Two
San = Three
Shi / Yon = Four
Go = Five
Roku = Six
Shichi / Nana = Seven
Hachi = Eight
Kyuu = Nine
Juu = Ten
JuuIchi = Eleven
JuuNi = Twelve
JuuSan = Thirteen
JuuShi = Fourteen
JuuGo = Fifteen
JuuRoku = Sixteen
JuuShichi = Seventeen
JuuHachi = Eighteen
JuuKyuu = Nineteen
NiJuu = Twenty

Haru = Spring
Natsu = Summer
Aki = Fall
Fuyu = Winter

Sayonara = Goodbye
Ohayo gozaimasu = Good morning
Konnichi wa = Good afternoon
Konban wa = Good everning
Oyasumi nasai = Good night
Merii kurisumasu = Happy Christmas
Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu = Happy New Year

Moshi moshi? = Hello? ("Moshi moshi?", is something they say everytime they answer the phone)

Oh dear Kami-sama = Oh dear Lord / Oh dear God
Oh Kami = Oh God

Nakama = It can mean friend, but has a much stronger meaning to it like: Super-duper-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world-where-nothing-can-ever-ever-ever-EVER-tear-us-apart...

Koibito / Amate = Lover

Anata = means 'you' but also can mean 'dear'

Koi = Love

Koishii = Dearest / Sweetheart

Ichizoku = Family or Clan, ex. The Uchiha Ichizoku (The Uchiha Clan)

Otou-sama, Otou-san, Otou-chan, Tou-sama, Tou-san, Tou-chan, Chichioya (Chichiue),'Oyaji' = Father, dad, 'Old man'

Okaa-sama, Okaa-san, Okaa-chan, Kaa-sama, Kaa-san, Kaa-chan, Hahaoya (Hahaue) = Mother, mom

Onii-sama, Onii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama, Nii-san, Nii-chan, Aniki, Ani, (Name, ex. Naruto)-nii = Older brother, Big brother, (Ani) brother equally, big brother (Naruto)

Onee-sama, Onee-san, Onee-chan, Nee-sama, Nee-san, Nee-chan, (Name, ex. Sakura)-nee = Older sister, Big sister, big sister (Sakura)

Otouto-sama, Otouto-san, Otouto-kun, Otouto-chan, Otouto, (Name, ex. Sasuke)-otouto = Younger brother, little brother, baby brother, little brother (Sasuke)

Imouto-sama, Imouto-san, Imouto-chan, Imouto, (Name, ex. Hanabi)-imouto = Younger sister, little sister, baby sister, little sister (Hanabi)

Ojii-sama, Ojii-san, Ojii-chan, Jii-sama, Jii-san, Jii-chan, 'Oyaji' = Grandfather, 'Old man'

Obaa-sama, Obaa-san, Obaa-chan, Baa-sama, Baa-san, Baa-chan, Sobo = Grandmother, Granny, 'Old hag'

Oji-sama, Oji-san, Oji-chan, Ji-sama, Ji-san, Ji-chan = Uncle

Itoko-sama, Itoko-san, Itoko-kun, Itoko-chan = Cousin

Ossan = Old man / Mister

Onna = Woman

Gaki = Brat

-sama = For higher status, ex. Hokage, Clan Head, ex. Tsunade-sama, Hiashi-sama

-san = For people you respect, ex. Kakashi-san, or with surname only: Hatake-san

-kun = For a boy / man you are familiar with, ex. Sasuke-kun

-chan = For a girl woman you are familiar with, also refered to cute, ex. Sakura-chan

-sensei = For a teacher, doctor, ex. Iruka-sensei, Tsunade-sensei

-taichou = For a captain, ex. Hatake-taichou (Captain Hatake)

-shishou = For boss or a teacher in a job, ex. Tsunade-shishou (By Sakura)

-senpai = For a senior in school or in a job, ex. Neji-senpai

-kouhai (Sp?) = For a junior in school or in a job, ex. Naruto-kouhai

101 things to do at WalMart - If you have done at least 10 of these then you my friend, are super awesome!!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).

97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice.

99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial.

100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.'

And now an ode to yaoi:

If yaoi were vodka

And I were a duck

I'd swim to the bottom

And drink my way up

But Yaoi ain't vodka

And I ain't a duck

So give me some yaoi

And shut the fuck up

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

Love the stupidity and randomness. NOW!

When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek...nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

If genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the tme to do it.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.

It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.

If you can't get the skeletons out of your closet, you'd better teach them to dance.

Stupid is just a 5 letter word.

Don't ask me to think inside my head, because I lost my inside voice.

Friends are like condoms, they protect each other when things get hard.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

If UFO's are supposed to be so intelligent, then why have they abducted humans?

Anyone who says "As easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

If voting could change anything, it would be illegal.

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is is not that that is not, and that that is not is not that that is.

If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

Work is blackmail for survival.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth without first giving him a Certs.

Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.

Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.

Fun flies when you're doing time.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injection?

You are now entering a school free drug zone. Thank you for pot smoking.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS:Lend you their umbrella
REAL FRIENDS:Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

--Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.

If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

If... The Jonas Brothers were standing on the top of an eighteen story building, 95 out of 100 girls would be standing there screaming and crying. Copy and paste this into your profile you're the 5 that would be dragging a lawn chair over there with popcorn and some soda, shrieking: "Jump! Jump! Jump!"

Put this in your profile if you hate child abuse.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Cinderella walked on broken glass.
Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass.
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast.
Jasmine married a common theif.
Ariel walked on land for love and life.
Snow White barely escaped a knife.
It was all about blood, sweat and tears,
Because love means facing your biggest fears.

I got both of these off of xcolormelovelyx's profile, check her out her stories are made of WIN!!

LEARN CHINESE IN FIVE MINUTES...(IF YOU ARE CHINESE, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS OFFENSIVELY...IT IS ONLY FOR HUMOR) YOU MUST READ THIS OUT LOUD...

1 - THAT'S NOT RIGHT...Sum Ting Wong

2 - ARE YOU HARBORING A FUGITIVE...Wai Yu Hai Ding

3 - SEE ME ASAP...Kum Hia

4 - STUPID MAN...Dum Fuk

5 - SMALL HORSE...Tai Ni Po Ni

6 - DID YOU GO TO THE BEACH...Wai Yu So Tan

7 - I BUMPED THE COFFEE TABLE...Ai Bang Mai Fa King Ni

8 - I THINK YOU NEED A FACE LIFT...Chin Tu Fat

9 - IT'S VERY DARK IN HERE...Wai So Dim

10 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON A DIET...Wai Yu Mun Ching

11 - THIS IS A TOW AWAY ZONE...No Pah King

12 - OUT MEETING IS SCHEDULED FOR NEXT WEEK...Wai Yu Kum Now

13 - STAYING OUT OF SIGHT...Lei Ying Lo

14 - HE'S CLEANING HIS AUTOMOBILE...Wa Shing Ka

15 - YOUR BODY ODOR IS OFFENSIVE...Yu Stin Ki Pu

16 - GREAT!...Fa King Su Pa

17-ARE YOU PREGNANT...Wai Yu Soh Faht

18-YOU'RE CRUEL...Yu Me Ni

19-THAT'S A DOG...Mai Dog Gi

20-DUMB ASS-Wai Yu So Fa King Dum

Favorite Pairings

Naruto
Sasuke/Sakura (My FAVORITE pairing EVER!!)
Naruto/Hinata (KAWAII!! The fox and the bunny)
Neji/Tenten (DUH!)
Ino/Sai...(both skanky whores)
Shikamaru/Temari (cause everytime we touch...lol)

Teen Titans
Robin/Starfire (obvious)
Beastboy/Raven (cute, funny, and SMEXY!)

Ben 10 Alien Force (STFU!!)
Kevin/Gwen

Gakuen Alice
Natsume/Mikan (as kids-ADORABLE; as adults-HOTTT!!)
Ruka/Hotaru (FUNNY AS HELL!)

Fruits Basket
Kyo/Tohru (Both CUTE and OBVIOUS)
Black Haru/Tohru (OMG HOT)

OHSHC
Tamaki/Haruhi (ZOMG CUTE!!)
Hikaru/Kaoru/Haruhi (HOTTEST THREESOME EVER!!)
Kyoya/Haruhi (SMEX!!)

Harry Potter
Draco/Hermione (opposites attract =D)
Harry/Ginny (of course)

Blood
Haji/Saya
Solomon/Saya

Soul Eater
Soul/Maka (KAWAII!!!!)

Vampire Diaries
Tyler/Caroline (ZOMG FORWOOD! SO KAWAII!!!!)

Naruto Birthdays

January
01 - Gai
02 - Iwashi
04 - Haku
08 - Hiashi & Hizashi
19 - Gaara
23 - Shino
24 - Yamanaka Inoichi (Ino's Dad)
25 - Yondaime

February
08 - Sarutobi
10 - Obito Uchiha
11 - Sigure
21 - Yoroi
24 - Nara Shikaku (Shikamaru's Dad)
29 - Kabuto

March
08 - Ebisu
09 - Tenten
18 - Kisame
20 - Ibiki
27 - Hanabi
28 - Sakura
29 - Kazekage

April
02 - Cloud Ninja Leader
03 - Udon
04 - Gatoh & Tonbo
05 - Tazuna
06 - Waraji
22 - Choaza

May
01 - Chouji
04 - Tsunami
07 - Midare
08 - Homura
15 - Kankurou
26 - Iruka
30 - Baiu

June
06 - Gouzu & Meizu
08 - Moegi
09 - Itachi
11 - Kurenai
12 - Dosu

July
03 - Neji
04 - Baki
06 - Kin
07 - Akamaru & Kiba
17 - Gemma
21 - Kotetsu
23 - Sasuke

August
02- Tsunade
09 - Nawaki
15 -Zabuza
16 - Fugaku (Sasuke's Dad)
21 - Kaiza
23 - Temari
28 - Raidou

September
01 - Koharu
03 - Aoba
14 - Zaku
15 - Kakashi
15 - Obito
22 - Shikamaru
23 - Ino

October
10 - Naruto
18 - Asuma
19 - Suzume
21 - Mizuki
24 - Anko
27 - Orochimaru

November
02 - Hayate
05 - Wind Country Lord
11 - Jiraiya
15 - Mubi & Rin
16 - Kagari
25 - Izumo
27 - Rock Lee
30 - Misumi

December
01 - Zouri
04 - Dan (Tsunade's Boyfriend)
20 - Oboro
24 - Madam Shizimi
25 - Inari
27 - Hinata
30 - Konohamaru

NARUTO YO'MOMMA JOKES:

Yo'momma so fat even naruto doesn't believe it!

Yo'momma so fat even the byakugan can't see through her

Yo'momma so ugly she turned Orochimaru gay

Yo'momma so ugly when she walked by Hinata, Hinata yelled out "Dddddaaaaayyyyyuuuuummmm"

Yo'momma so fat she makes Choji look skinny

Yo'momma so ugly she makes the Shukaku look cute

Yo'momma so dumb she makes Naruto look like a genius

Yo'momma so ugly she makes Karin look pretty

Yo'momma so ugly anbu thought she was in the second curse mark and kicked her ass

Yo'momma is so stupid she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates

Yo'momma so old Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot

Yo'momma so ugly she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again

Yo'momma so ugly when she stopped by Kakashi he used his sharingan to see if someone put a genjutsu on him

Yo'momma so ugly she scared the little kids in her village more than Gaara

Yo'momma so ugly that she even scared Gaara

Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why Itachi went blind

Yo'momma so ugly she's the reason why chidori and reasangan was made

Some crap that would never happen on Naruto:

Naruto will stop saying believe it
Hinata will stop blushing so much around Naruto.
Ino will stop being a bitch.
Tsunade will admit her boobs are fake.
Kakashi will tell everyone about his life.
Orochimaru will stop being gay.
Kabuto will stop being his bitch/whore.
Karin and Sasuke will get together.
Karin will stop being a bitch.
Suigetsu will give up water forever.
Itachi will leave the Akatsuki and he and Sasuke will be friends again.
Kisame will admit he's a homosexual.
Minato Namikaze will come back to life and everything will be okay.
Deidara will admit he's really a woman.
Sasori and Sakura will get together.
Gaara will have kids.
Orochimaru will come out and admit he is really Michael Jackson.
Tobi is in his right state of mind.
Sasuke will stop being such an asshole.
Asuma will stop smoking.
Tsunade will give up gambling.
If you agree, copy this into your profile

PROOF! That Sasuke cares... for Sakura.

During the bell test, when Sakura fainted from seeing his head above ground, and the rest below, Sasuke waited for her to wake up, even though he probably knows he's wasting time.

-When they were escorted Tazuna to the Wave Country, Sasuke rushed in front of Sakura to protect her and Tazuna, even though Kakashi would have come(of course, he didn't know that but still)

- When Sasuke and Naruto were fighting Haku, Zabuza went to attack Tazuna but Kakashi protected him and Sakura screamed. When she did, you could hear worry in Sasuke's voice when they heard her.

-During the Chuunin Exams, The Forest of Death, when Sasuke and Sakura first found, Orochimaru, disguised as a Grass nin, when he stabbed his leg to get rid of the whole frozen in fear thing, when he went to pick up Sakura, he could have done it many ways, but he chose to pick her up bridal style.

-Again during the Chunnin Exams, The Forest of Death, when Sasuke and Naruto were fighting Orochimaru, disguised as a grass nin, after Orochimaru gave Naruto the five-pronged seal. When Sakura called him a coward, he reacted. He didn't react when Naruto called him a coward.

-After Orochimaru gave Sasuke the Cursed Seal, Sakura went to help him. I'm not sure if this is just because he was in a lot of pain, but instead of dealing with the pain by himself, like I thought he would, he actually let Sakura help him and the animators made him faint onto her.

-Also during the Chuunin Exams, The Forest of Death, when Sasuke wakes up, the first thing he does is ask Sakura who hurt her. Even the the influence of the Curse Seal couldn't change the bond he has with her.

-Another in The Forest of Death, when Sakura hugged him, the Curse Seal receeded. There's gotta be something behind that.

-During the Perliminary Rounds of the Chuunin Exams, the first thing Sasuke thought of when he was trying to make his curse mark receed was the image of Sakura crying, begging him to stop.

-After Garra semi-changed into his Shukaku form, and after he pinned Sakura to the tree with his sand hand, Sasuke told Naruto that he had better save Sakura no matter what, then run away.

-Also during this time, Sasuke also said that he wouldn't allow another important friend to die in front of him, refering to Sakura.

-Again during this time, when Sasuke went to catch Sakura after the sand released her, there were many ways of catching her, but he had to catch her bridal style. I know that's the way she fell, but then, who made her fall that way. The people who make Naruto. I say, they're hinting something but making Sakura fall in that manner.

-Once again, after Sasuke caught Sakura and went to lay her down on a branch, if you look closly, you will noticed his hand lingers under her head for a split second.

-Do I have to say it, when Sasuke told Pakkun to take care of Sakura, you could hear worry in his voice. His eyes also softened a bit.

-After the Hokage's funeral, in the flashback when Sakura asked Sasuke if he saved her, he said that Naruto saved her. You can tell that he had regret and sadness in his voice. Like he wanted to save her.

-When they were escorting Idate through the race, while on the boat when the Rain nin were attacking, Sakura's arm was hit by a kunai. Even though it was only a small cut, when she cried out in pain, Sasuke showed a hint of worry on his face.

When Ino hugged in during the Chuunin Exams, Sasuke was very mad and pissed off. But when Sakura hugged him in the hospital, he didn't have any hatred in his eyes and he let her.

-During Naruto and Sasuke's fight on the hospital roof, when Sakura ran in the way to try and stop them, Sasuke wanted to pull back. It means he cares for her well being in some way; or else, he would have just ran her through.

-This one I thought was implied. Who confronted Sasuke the night he left? Sakura. The people that make Naruto might be hinting something.

-Again, when Sasuke was leaving, he put up with all of Sakura's talking instead of ignoring her like he normally does. He even gave her a speech. A short one, but still.

- When Sakura asked to go with Sasuke, he replied that it was "too dangerous." He didn't want her to get killed.

-Also when Sasuke was leaving, before he knocked her out, he said "Thank you." This shows that he does care about her in some way.

-Sasuke knows that Sakura is weaker than Naruto, yet he doesn't call her 'weak' or 'idiot'. Just 'annoying'.

-Lastly, when Sasuke knocked her out, he could have left her on the ground where she left her on the ground where she lay.

Sasusaku. Stuckup-chickenhaired-i-hate-the-wolrd-emo-boy meets sweet-but-get-in-my-way-and i'll-break-your-spine- girl. What better match is there!

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:

s, sasukerules.org, xkawaiichix, KairiUz, CrookshanksisaNinjaIf you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, Chibi Shino, Chibi Kabuto

Images of Sakura from my upcoming Naruto/Elfen Lied crossover story:

Adult: http://clusterf.sevenload.net/dataC003/data84-2/slcom/jf/zf/cgjkjge/rboemskcejmg.jpg/Elfenlied-Nyu.jpg

Child: http://team7forever.deviantart.com/art/Chibi-Diclonius-Sakura-chan-180954345

...Yeah, that's all I can think of for now. Peace out!! XD