Here is a list of my fav books/Series:

Maximum Ride

The Chronicles of Pern

Doctor Who

Anything by Tamora Pierce!

Inkheart/Inkspell

Obernewton

Other stuff by Isobel Carmody!

Artemis Fowl

Larklight, Starcross and Mothstorm- the best series ever!! You have to read them.

Mortal Engines. A series also by Philip Reeve.

Mortal Instruments

Vampire Academy

Chronicles of Ancient Darkness

The Stone Crown

The New Policeman (and others by Kate Thompson)

and- ahhh!! mental blank!! I will fix this once i remember and update when i read some new books i really, really like.

and if any one steals any of my books; i have a long memory. (mwahahahaha).

My Mind:

-My mind is like a steel trap- rusty and illegal in 37 states.

-My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

-You think I'm crazy? Well, at least I admit it.

-Do not disturb. I’m disturbed enough already.

-The doctor say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.

-I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

-Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

-Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

20 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".

7.Don't use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go".

10. Sing Along at the Opera.

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

16. Finish All Your sentences with'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

17. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

18. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.

19. Five days in advance tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

20.Send this to your friends to make them smile- It's called therapy.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MUM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right when he lied and told them there was no candy left.

"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling!"

"Fine, take your banana!"

"I'm allergic to flour. I'm allergic to ocean water...And dental floss. I'm also allergic to air!"

"Psh, screw the Dark Side. So what if they have cookies? Come to the Light Side, we have Edward Cullen and the Jonas Brothers!"

Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

Copying from a single source is called plagarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, the target."

Do not run in the school hall. Gliding is more fun.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them as much.

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it!?

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Life isn't passing me by- it's trying to run me over!

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead, so shut up.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS!

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

Copy and Paste

Cheese-its make the world go round. if you love cheese copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.

If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow while knowing that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tried to put you foot behind you head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dancing!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion.

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

Deepness On Twilight

I’ve developed a weird habit of biting people.

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but Alice is always at his window with a bat. How does she kn…ohhh, right!

All I want is a gorgeous, immortal, cold, silver Volvo owner that sparkles in the sunlight and bites me…is that too much to ask for?

Blondes may have more fun, but Edward prefers brunettes! Ha! Go brunettes!

Changed my name to Bella, moved to Forks, acted like a danger magnet…So where’s my Edward?

Twilight Warning: This book may cause severe daydreaming, insanely high expectations for boyfriends, overactive imagination, drooling, and the belief that Edward Cullen is NOT fictional.

I have been diagnosed with OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.

Before Bella Swan moved here, we all thought he was gay.

You haven’t read Twilight? Go shoot yourself in the foot!

I poured glitter on my boyfriend so that he’d be just like Edward.

Like you don’t gasp every time you see a silver Volvo.

Screw being a princess, I want to be a vampire!

Every time a guy ignores me, I know it’s just because he’s a vampire in love with me, and he is too polite to drink my blood.

I jumped in front of a moving van to see if Edward would save me. And it hurt...

Oh so cute! Bunny!

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