| The Last Rising Of The Phoenix |
Author has written 1 story for Naruto. My Name ... (Is invisible) My Address ...got lost in the post My number ... was never registered thus is illegal I am ... me My likes ... Pineapples :) My dislikes ... I destroy My dreams ... are disturbing My life ... is boring Sex...Maybe later (I am Male BTW) o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o My Favorite Pairing Naru/Yugito (I don't know why or how but this pairing just works.) Naru/FemKyu (One of the best pairing in my opinion but this pairing works best if you develop it for a long time.) Naru/Mizukage (HOT Politics YEAH!) Naru/Harem Naru/FemHaku (IT"S A GIRL I TELL YOU!) Naru/Oc Naru/Temari Naru/Tenten Naru/Shion Naru/Hina (Only If it's good, In my opinion this pairing is illogical.) Naru/Saku (Read above only without the illogical part.) Naru/FemIta (My god how I got to like this pairing I don't know but I do.) Naru/FemSasu (Come on he chases the guy around all the time, now if Sasuke was a female it would be plausible... kinda.) Naru/Mikoto (I once read a fic where this was the pairing.) o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o Chuck Norris Jokes: If you are offended by these jokes, I apoligize. Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved. There is no theory of evolution, there are only the animals Chuck Norris allows to live. There are two kinds of people: wimps and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing his body up, he is pushing the world down. Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris can taste lies. Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions. One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio. The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends in blank forms and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. He has never had to pay taxes. Chuck Norris can make a woman orgasm simply by pointing and saying 'Boo-yah' Chuck Norris doesn't write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King. Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane". The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!” Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell. Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham. You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face. The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There os a pic of this on Deviantart.com) Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell. Master Chief is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon. Chuck doesn’t wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear. 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed...
1. You accidentally enter your password into the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer. 7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling. 8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this. 9. You were too busy to notice number five. 10. You actually look to check if there was a number five. 11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown. If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you. I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bastard. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll in reverse?! I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich. I'm an OG so I must be Mexican. o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o Challenges Rose haired beauty? A Naruto/Fem!Gaara challenge I have seen a few Naruto fanfics in which Naruto is a girl using a henge(or something equivalent to it) to look like a boy but, I have only once seen a story in which Gaara is actually a girl using her Sand Armor to hide the fact that he was in fact a she! Guidelines! The main pairing must be Naruto/Fem!Gaara, if you want it to be a harem you may do so. You may not add Hinata to the pairing unless you make her waaay more confident, cause frankly IF you do make it a harem Gaara won't let Naruto have a weak mate! Naruto must be strong (High chunnin level at LEAST) by the time he graduates. When he meets Gaara is up to you. If for example you are using this challenge and decide to change it a little, I don't care cause frankly I have seen way to many good ideas go to waste due to following the rules too strictly. And lastly have fun cause it is a proven fact that if you want to do something you'll do it better than if your forced. 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0 | |||||||
1. The true reason why Iwa Hates Namikaze Minato reviewsA AU of what might have happen when Minato faced the Iwa army!Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 304 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-11-09 - Minato N. - Complete