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| twilly |
Author has written 10 stories for Twilight. My name is twilly, well, that’s not really my name, but you can still call me that. I would never ever use my real name for fear my fanfic me would be discovered by anyone the real life me knows might find out about the Twilight closet where I keep my inner 13 year old squee-er. I’m 22 years old and I’ve been 22 for a while, but not nearly as long as Edward has been 17! I know it’s weird, especially since I have a 14 and a 15 year old. They constantly embarrass me in public by loudly suggesting I buy Twilight stuff and RPattz posters, I’m not sure they understand the closet concept. My 14 year old has a friend who he announced was “Team Jacob”, I was torn, I wanted to tell him not to hang out with her anymore. Then she sent a pic to his phone from her room. Her walls were covered in Edward; he laughed when I busted him for riling me up. I suggested he marry the girl. I live relatively close to Forks. Close enough to know it doesn’t really snow in Forks, Seattle or Portland, but I’ve stopped getting upset when it does in fic, because it’s fiction, right? However, you should never let anyone in your story pump their own gas in Oregon! I mean, who cares if the climate is wrong, weather-smeather; but damn it, don’t fuck up fueling up in the Beaver State! (When I say close, I mean like 250 miles south, but on the west coast of the US, 250 miles is fairly close) I’m also a lurker, kinda stalking the story forms, blogs and twitter. I love hearing what everyone has to say; but I’m not always ready to share. I've tried to be twilly everywhere, but sometimes I'm a close derivative; I don’t review stories nearly enough. I really do love them, but I can never think of anything witty, insightful or meaningful enough to compare to the awesome gift a new chapter. I’m working on it. I’m actually considering hiring a ghost writer to develop a catalog of fantastic reviews for future use. Also, if I reviewed your story, and you're not quite sure about my comment; yes it was sarcastic, sardonic and/or in jest. I’m sorry I failed, jokes aren’t funny when you have to explain them. I am a libertine trapped in the body, life and social prowess of a prude. So I appease my wicked inclinations by reading fanfic smut and I blush like Bella when I’m watching porn. Although, in fairness, I didn’t realize I was so debauched until I started reading the fanfic smut. Lastly, I apologize to my 11th grade English teacher who is probably having a conniption because I used the word “I” 22 times in a 560 word piece, including beginning 13 of the 25 sentences with “I”. However, I did only use the F-word once, so it may be a wash. I really should know better, I took that damn class three times! Dang it, I just used "I" four more times. Me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/twilllly Me on LiveJournal: http://i-m-twilly.livejournal.com/ | |||||||
1. The Love Boat » reviewsLove, exciting and new. Come Aboard. We're expecting you. Love, life's sweetest reward. Let it flow, it floats back to you. Best friends, a childhood crush, a free cruise, and a ship full of swingers.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 73,498 - Reviews: 1038 - Updated: 5-14-13 - Published: 5-3-12 - Edward & Bella2. The Twilight Twenty-five: Round Seven » reviewsTwenty-five adage inspired, one hundred word drabbles. What is an adage, you ask? It's a short but memorable saying expressing a general truth. I may not take these phrases at face value; but then again, maybe I will.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 4,178 - Reviews: 333 - Updated: 1-25-13 - Published: 12-15-123. PTB SUniversity 2012 » reviewsI always though "Matriculation" sounded like a dirty word. But PTB S University took me anyway, go I guess that makes me an undergrad. "Grad" is code for Edward, right? Okay, I'll stop now. Here's where I keep my dirty little o/s and mini-takes.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,028 - Reviews: 129 - Updated: 7-28-12 - Published: 5-28-124. Twilight TwentyFive Challange » reviewsTwenty-Five, one hundred word drabbles based on twenty five photo and word prompts. Written as part of the The Twilight Twenty-Five, Round 5 Drabble challenge.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 5,227 - Reviews: 213 - Updated: 12-31-11 - Published: 10-2-11 - Edward & Bella5. The Naughty Elf » reviewsSanta believes there's no such thing as a bad elf. Bella's been fired from nearly every toy shop. How can Santa get her in the right position when everything out of her mouth is so very dirty? Santa, elves, chocolate starfish and phasing reindeerTwilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,915 - Reviews: 555 - Updated: 12-24-11 - Published: 12-15-11 - Edward & Bella - Complete6. How it Should Have Ended » reviewsBeyond silly alternate endings, out takes and drabbles. Because they are so ridiculous, I'm not even going to waste a beta's time. To read them, please suspend all belief in reality and spelling.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,007 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 10-11-11 - Published: 6-23-117. Love Me Mercilessly reviewsBella is the sheriff's daughter and the preacher's niece. Edward is the prodigal son returned. They hide their relationship for everybody; but can they hide it from themselves? O/S for the TLS Lyrics & Lemons contest.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,753 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 7-29-11 - Edward & Bella8. Jack, Jill and a Foosball Table reviewsSPANKING THE MONKEY CONTEST entry. Edward and Bella are best friends so they can't touch each other; but that doesn't mean they can't touch themselves. Things explode as they struggle though assembly instructions littered with nuts, rods and ball cups.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,751 - Reviews: 97 - Updated: 7-16-11 - Published: 6-22-11 - Edward & Bella - Complete9. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty reviewsAddoooorable. And lemony. When an overnight rain cools things down, Edward heats things back up, claiming his sleeping beauty. A lemony, zero angst, fluff ball oneshot from the HEA. Judges' pick for the My Precious Fandom: Whose LTwilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,045 - Reviews: 76 - Updated: 7-16-11 - Published: 7-12-10 - Edward & Bella - Complete10. The Applicant reviewsFML Contest O/S. Unemployed Bella interviews with Edward and Vlad for a job at the local market. AH - M for language and lemons - Bella & EdwardTwilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,201 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 2-15-10 - Bella & Edward - Complete
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