Hey! My name is V. Well, it begins with V, but everyone just calls me that, V!

I was originally Anifan13, then I became TwilightObsessor412, now I am simply V2113, and I shall remain that until fanfiction becomes too annoying and I become a famous author!! Until that day, however, I'm stuck here.

I'm Team Switzerland, Edward County, mayor of the Town of Jasper.

Definition: Jake rocks and he and Bella are cute together, but that's nothing compared to Edward and Bella. And Jasper is just plain awesome!!

I love reviews. If you post them, I smile. If I smile, I update more. If you like my stories and you want me to update more often, the way to get me to do just that is simple: REVIEW!!

Of course, seeing as no one ever REVIEWS, I have decided to write little one-shots. Now, if you people would bother to REVIEW asking for more or at least saying you like it then, I would probably UPDATE MORE OFTEN!! But, if you like little one-shots, please review anyway.

Unannounced rant, over.

DESCRIPTION AND LIKES/DISLIKES

I have thick, pin straight auburn hair down to my waist, a very Bella-like complexion (i.e. pale, translucent, etc.), and blue eyes that have a greenish or grayish tinge to them tinge to them depending on the light. There's my brief physical description, make of it what you will.

Books I Like: Harry Potter, Twilight, Animorphs, Fablehaven, Septimus Heap

TV Shows I like: Supernatural, Charmed, Heroes

Favorite Couples: Harry Potter: HermionexRon, HarryxGinny, NevillexLuna, HarryxLuna, RemusxTonks,

Twilight: AlicexJasper, EsmexCarlisle, VictoriaxJames,

Animorphs: RachelxTobias,

Fablehaven: KendraxGavin (until he turned evil), KendraxWarren (sure he's way older than her, and they are distantly related, but oh well!)

Septimus Heap: SeptimusxJenna (they are step-siblings, not really related!!), BeetlexJenna (It's so perfect, and it's quite obvious), NickoxSnorri (They have been through so much together, it's destiny!), SimonxLucy (No matter what wrongs Simon has committed, Lucy has stuck by him from the beginning. They are meant to be), SeptimusxSyrah (I'm going to start shipping this right away, you hear! Right away!! There's a reason why she knew him in her time, only to be stranded on that island and stuck in her own age for 500 years, when he comes along on that very island!! Destiny!)

Charmed: ChrisxBianca, PiperxLeo, PhoebexCole, PhoebexJason, PruexAndy, PhoebexCoop (The first work of Match Made in Heaven, literally) , PaigexKyle (this is my all time favorite of her boyfriends, Henry's a stupid human, Kyle's an angel!! He is too good to be true! He should've been assigned as their whitelighter!)

Heroes: PeterxSimone, PeterxClaire (sometimes... It's so wrong, but it's just so right! I find it vile, yet I find it wonderful!), PeterxCaitlyn (of course, then he just left her in a future that he destroyed and she was lost in the space-time continuum.)

Couples that I Despise and Why:

Harry Potter:

RemusxANY MALE!! I read a fic in which he made out with Sirius. I literally couldn't bear to watch it and I nearly threw up. Is that reason enough? It's not that I have an issue with homosexuality. I just don't like making straight people totally gay, which leads us to:

RemusxSirius: EWW!! They're just friends! Remus gets married to Nymphadora Tonks! They have a child! Those stories in which these two hook up are sickening to read, and I have gagged on multiple occasions because I made a mistake and read a seemingly innocent story that turned straight characters gay, as usual. People just aren't happy unless they're saying someone's gay, are they? Eww...

HermionexDraco: Why would she go out with that cowardly vile scumbag. It sickens me.

Twilight:

JasperxBella: For one, Bella would be dead before she entered the room. Another thing, why on earth would he cheat on Alice? It's strange!

AlicexBella: I've heard of these, and judging by my reaction to the Remus being gay, I probably would throw up that time.

Well, that's all I can think of for now, although, knowing me, I'll probably come up with something later. But first I need to brush my teeth, some bile came up just thinking about Remus and Sirius. Eeewww!!

LINKS

To Breaking Dawn Quotes of the Day FAQ! by nosuchthingashappilyeverafter

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4409965/1/Breaking_Dawn_Quotes_of_the_Day_FAQ

It's mentioned in my version, which is a FF_Legal continuation, although the original author (whose name I shall not write down because I am so very lazy) may continue hers as well.

Twilight Lover-Traumatizing Yet Kinda Funny Makeover

http://www.girlgames4u.com/twilight-makeover-game.html

OMC! I feel nauseated by myself. I feel like Rosalie! I turned Edward into a pretty boy homo that wears pink lipstick. PINK!! The shame of it all. My friends will NEVER let me live this down!! The reason I feel like Rosalie is because she would gladly do the same and find amusement in it... and that's exactly what I did!! Yipes! And what's with the speedo? -shudders-

My Fiction Press Account

V21

QUOTES

From Bella Bites Back by Burnt Toast- J is for Gorilla

Bella's PoV

“We’re you just sleeping?” Edward asked.

I shook my head and said,” I was confusing you Eddie Ol’ Boy.”

“My rabid pet mountain lion doesn’t like it when you call me that.”

“Too bad I killed it,” I pouted.

“Poor Bob…”

“I once saw this thing on Alice’s blog…”

“Alice has a blog?”

“Yes. As I was saying I saw this thing on her blog that said 'Angry Lions say: RAWRRRRR!; Sad lions say: Meow; Hungry lions say: RAWR! I AM GOING TO EAT YOU!; And mountain lions say: OMG! RUN! IT’S EDWARD CULLEN!'”

INSIDE JOKES (NOT TOTALLY REVEALED, SO YOU PROBABLY WON'T GET MOST OF THEM)

(While writing Half Moon)
Macster: Hey, how about Gwen calls Edward pretending to be Quinn to see what's up with the vamp?

Me: That's a wonderful idea! And while I'm at it why don't I invite the president of the United States over for tea and crumpets with my Irish pet monkey, Elvis!

Macster: HAHAHA! That was good, but don't you mean British? Only British people can have tea and crumpets.

Me: No, Irish. And remember, this is a pet MONKEY!! Key word being monkey.

Macster: British.

Me: Irish.

(still continuing to this day. If I say Irish, she says British. Reverse psycology doesn't work on either of us! Although once it did when I spelled out British instead of saying Irish and it confuses her. And she does this odd singing thing when she says British occasionally that never fails to make me crack up. No kidding! It's like buhh-riiit-ishh!)

(While reading an odd little book with bajillions of short stories in it)

Me: ... dwaf. Wait... what?

Macster: Excuse me? Dwaf?

Me; Okay, then. That was odd.

Macster: PURPLE LADYBUGS!!

Me: PEI!!

Macster: YOU DRANK MY COKE!!

Cheese the Mouse: Oh it's Cheese the Mouse, and I rock the house. C-to the-H-to the double-E-S-E! Da Mouse! Cheese (makes peace sign)

Me & Macster: Okedokee then...

(Cheese the Mouse is my friend. She made up Cheese the Mouse, but I made up her theme song. Me and Macster were quoting Notes Galore! by nosuchthingashappilyeverafter. It is soo good, you should TOTALLY check it out!)

(\_/)
(O.o)

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your TV doesn't have buttons.

7.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

8.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

9.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

10.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there.

11.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

12.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

13.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!

(\_/)
(O.o)

RANDOM STUFF THAT I MADE UP

I'm a hungry hamburger!! EAT ME OR I'LL EAT YOU!! I have no clue where that came from but it would make a funny smiley. Imagine a hamburger with ginormous teeth in between the lettuce and burger with eyes sitting on top of the bun and odd little slanted eyebrows, on a plate with a napkin tied around it's width that says 'Kiss the Burger' and a mini fork and knife in it's roll-type hands and 'EAT ME OR I'LL EAT YOU' in French Fries in front of it.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Tobias killed them. So, if you're ever wondering who to thank for the fact that we're not going to the dance with Rexy the classasaurus-rex, pick up Animorphs book 1 and cry at the last page. Rejoice when #13 comes to life. Be addicted to #23. Cry your head off over and over again on #33. Be sooooo happy on #49, I think that's the one anyway. And, in the last book, cry tears, not for Rachel, but for our resident Hawk/human/andalite with random DNA in his bloodstream. Put this on your profile if you were depressed by Tobias's unsatisfactory end of Animorphs.

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward (into a vampire) so God is Carlisle. That and every one of Carlisle's creations woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

Wait a sec, my dad is into brunettes, and so is Edward. Could that possibly mean my dad is Edward Cullen? And my mom is Bella!? And I'm RENESMEE!! I wonder where Jacob is then. Wait, my aunt is ALICE!! UNCLE EMMETT!! AUNT ROSALIE!! GRANNY ESME!! GRAND- No... my Grandpa eats meat. And he's old... DANG IT!!

(\_/)
(O.o)

THINGS TO DO AT WALMART:

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

3. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

4. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

5. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

6. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

7. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror.

8. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

10. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

11. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

12. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

13. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

14. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

(\_/)
(O.o)

RANDOMLY RANDOM STUFF

I have just made this profile considerably longer. Oh, well!

A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said:
"Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK.
When I grew up I was BLACK,
When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
When I die I'll be BLACK.
But you, sir...
When you are born you're PINK,
When you grow up you're WHITE,
When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun you turn RED,
When you're cold you turn BLUE,
And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.
Put this on your profile if you HATE racism.

Jesus loves you...so love Him back!!
97 of you won't post this.
When Jesus died on the cross, He was thinking of you!
if you are one of the 3 that cares, you will put this on your profile!

It's funny until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious!

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'

A day without sunshine is... night.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"

There is no "I" in team but I do all the work anyways cause the others are too lazy...

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER

I have the cape, I make the whoosh noises.

When i walk past an automatic door and it opens for me, i worry that if i don't go through it, i might hurt its feelings

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. How do you feel now?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.

The statistics on insanity are that 1 out of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

You cry I cry, You laugh I laugh, You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

Funny how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.’

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. So why am I still in jail?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and i can’t...hey nice carpet!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

The spontaneous rally will began at 1:45

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life! So I guess I'm quite the disappointment... FRIED EGGS TASTE LIKE PEARS!!('kay, randomness)

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Life's tough, get a helmet

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Unfortunately, my parents didn't think to inform the teachers that until after I entered the lunchroom.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking?

How come you never see the news story Psychic Wins Lottery?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s HILARIOUS!

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

I got a lot of ideas. The problem is that most of them suck.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, Where the heck is the ceiling?

Don’t worry, they can’t hit us from this fa... -last words of a Civil war general

ERROR: Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue.

According to a recent survey, 3/4 of people makes up 75 of the population.

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

We're not lost. We're locationally challenged.

Whoever said nothings impossible never tried to nail jell-o to a tree!

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

I have the largest seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

It takes 47 muscles to frown and 13 to smile, but it takes 0 to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

The inventor of Crest Toothpaste passed away. Four out of five dentists went to his funeral.

Anyone who uses the phrase easy as taking candy from a baby has never tried taking candy from a baby.

You live and learn. Or rather, you live and sit there with a blank face then lie and say you get it.

I gave up junk food. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.

There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

It matters not whether you win or lose- what matters is whether I win or lose.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Employee of the Month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you- but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

I had my car towed. There was nothing wrong with it- it was just cheaper than gas.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid.

If you have any problem with this profile, write it on the back of a 100 bill and send it to me.

It’s great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who’s bald.

I’m not a geek – I’m a level 12 paladin!

You can buy a gun at Wal-Mart, but your 4th of July sparklers have to be smuggled through the state line.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.

If victory is too high to climb, take the elevator.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened last year.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later

Evening news is where they begin with Good Evening and then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you’re up to.

I don’t mind if you sleep in class, but please do not snore, you are disrupting those who are sleeping

if nobody’s perfect I must be nobody

Remember there is no I in team, but there is an M and an E

I don't talk on the phone because I hear voices on the other end...

One day, I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

If you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Perfect men are only fictional. (Sigh, Edward)

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely. No, that's a lie, I do so obsess.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Then the foil tore, and I found out my knight was a guy.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Nah, not really. It's fun here. My head is echoey!! ECHO-ECHo-ECho-Echo-echo...ech...ec...e... .. .

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. Dear fragmented heart, I met another boy today, prepare to become microscopicish.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Now I've got to hunt down that shrink and blast him with my power sucking ray of doom!!

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a- BUTT!!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Am I the only one who doesn't understand this line of work?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I ran with scissors, and lived! (COOL!)

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

If you have read this far - congrats! You officially won the 'I So Need to Get a Life!!' Award!! Now post this at the bottom of your profile like a good little minion... MWAHAHA (original post by V2113, don't forget this part or I shall hunt you down and KILL YOU!! Just kidding... or was I?)