| BellaRide28 |
Author has written 7 stories for Maximum Ride, Listener, Lie to Me, Mentalist, NCIS, Heroes, and Misc. Tv Shows. Hi! My name is Melissa Fluffnagel, and I love to read and write stories and songs and play guitar and sing! I hope someday to be a famous country bandmate (hence the guitar). I want to be a bandmate 'cause I don't think I could ever face all of the people alone. I am a beginner at guitar, but it is not as hard as I had feared. Soon, I will learn a few songs, I hope... I also write songs. They aren't that great, but someday I hope to put music to the lyrics and perform them! My favorite band as of right now is Sugarland, with Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush. She is an awesome singer, he an amazingly gifted guitar player. They just bring so much fun and energy to the stage, I hope that one day I can have that effect on people. Right now, I have one true bestie. Her name is Petunia, but you may know her as CullenWithWings on here, and PowerFreak on FictionPress. 'Our group of friends dosen't really have a 'name'. If anything, it would be 'the kids who burst out laughing for no apparent reason on a random inside joke'. Wow. I can see why we don't have a name'. -Tally. Until about two months ago, I only read book FanFics. Then I discovered the amazing realm of TV Shows. I have so many on story alert, it's not even funny. It even inspired me to write a few of my own! Please check them out... In my writing, I like to use OC's. I know this drives many people crazy, but it makes me feel better. Especially in TV Shows, you never know everything about a given character, so it is extremely hard to write a story in their POV. Therefore, I insert my own character which I know nothing about. I really don't understand why people hate OC's so much... If anyone wants to enlighten me, feel free! I have discovered that I watch thirteen series: 24, Bones, NCIS, NCIS: LA, CSI: Miami, The Mentalist, Lie To Me, Fringe, White Collar, The Listener, Heroes, Psych, and The X-Files. Wow. Do I have a problem? Pertaining reviews: Reviews are greatly appreciated, but not required. Please tell me exactly what you thought, even if it falls into the flame category. And, feel free to ramble or tells stories etc. They make me feel so much happier than a simple, 'Please review!' (Not that I don't appreciate those... :-)) Well, I think that's all the info really about me... The below three poems were suggested by Nia. She even wrote the second two! Poems: If you are a dreamer, come in, IT'S A LOVE/HATE REALATIONSHIP Roses are red, Updates: November 26, 2009: Ok, all of you people here who are angry because I haven't updated my stories (especially Hearing Isn't Always Listening) my life has been extremely chaotic lately, and i have had no time to update. So please bear with me, and i will get back on track soon. August 24, 2009: I have finally updated my profile! I even added this nifty little update spot, where I will write about all sorts of things in my life! (Not that you guys care, but you might find it interesting!) The rest is things that I have either found funny or sentimental. Favorite jokes: A blonde and her husband are sitting on the couch, watching the news, when a reporter came on. "Two Brazillion men died in a skydiving accident today," he sad. The blonde said "Thats just terrible," and started to cry. Her husband looked at her and says, "Yes, that is sad, honey, but they knew the risks involved when they did it." A few minutes later, the blonde, still crying, turns to her husband and asked, "How many is a Brazillion?" This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field, The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.' The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field, 'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.' The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again. The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling, One day this blonde calls her friend and says, Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?' The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.' Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies them for a moment, then studies the box. He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.' She asks, 'Oh, how come?' He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.' Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!' The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror. (This area used to contain an absurd amount of copy and pastes. For your convenince, I have removed them.) One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me. Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies… Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. Rest In Peace, my old friend. Girls MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS: 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. FYI- Honda is straight, but Hyundai is gay. ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!: (1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..." (2)Dear Lord, (3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for (4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? Man: Where have you been all my life? One bright morning... FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR 1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker" 2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!" 3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly. 5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down. 7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 11) Meow occasionally. 12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?" 18) Say "Ding!" at each floor. 19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?" Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me Friend: Will bail me out of jail Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up" Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad" Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. Friends: Fade Best Friends: Are 4 Ever "Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous "When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous "Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.” ~ Anonymous "An apple always keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." ~ Anonymous "Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?" ~ Anonymous "My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil." ~ Anonymous "When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade" ~ Anonymous "Roses are red, violets are blue, rainbows are gay, and so are you." - Petunia Rose-Daisy Some of my other favorite quotes are: Hide and go seek is not meant to be played with yogurt and pickles. -Tallulah Pineapple Don't skip alone. (Try walking up to someone and saying that with a straight face. Its hard.) -Tallulah Pineapple Geniuses can run into doors too.- Random Sticker Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes. -Petunia Rose-Daisy Feel free to email me at: melissafluffnagel@yahoo.com | |||||||||||
1. Lying Will Get You Nowhere » reviewsWhat happens when our beloved Lightman Group gets roped into a field trip to Toronto, Canada, where they meet our favorite EMT, Toby Logan? Chaos, competition, and hilarity ensue.Crossover - Lie to Me & Listener - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,955 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 11-18-09 - Published: 7-5-092. Psyonesislamiaielistainsilesneroes » reviewsA crossover of Bones, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, CSI: Miami, Lie to Me, The Mentalist, Psych, Royal Pains, X-Files, The Listener, and Heroes. What happens when our favorite characters all get invited to a mysterious function in Colorado?Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,133 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-9-09 - Published: 10-14-093. Hysterically Humored HeroesAll the Heroes characters after the season three finale. What trouble they get into, off and on camera. Authors notes- courtesy of me and Mohinder.Heroes - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,554 - Published: 10-14-094. Hearing Isn't Always Listening » reviewsAlexandra Logan is your average, everyday high school student. With one HUGE difference. Being related to Toby Logan isn't as easy as it sounds...Listener - Rated: T - English - Family/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,716 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 9-17-09 - Published: 6-29-095. Decaf Dreams reviewsWhat happens when Gibbs has to switch from his usual black coffee, to the dreaded decaf? Some odd dreams... Well, maybe not so odd considering his job. Not AU, although it seems it in the beginning.NCIS - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-11-09 - Complete6. Fuchsia Fools » reviewsWhen a string of April Fool's Day pranks upturn a murder, the CBI team ask themselves a question: is Jane really psychic, or is this just a horrible coincedence? Two-shot.Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,204 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 8-14-09 - Published: 7-22-09 - Complete7. Soaring Sun » reviewsWhat happens when Max and the Flock meet some more bird-kids? Will they get along? Especially since the newcomers are different? MUCH different. Fax, Tiggy, Del, and Peavon.Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 22 - Words: 22,283 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 6-15-09 - Published: 1-25-09