Name: Alix Comeau

From: The only city worth living in

Age: Wouldn't you like to know?

Birthday: October 29

Favorite Naruto pairings:

Naru/Ino

Naru/tema

Naru/ten

femnaru/shika

femnaru/sasu

sasu/hina

gaa/femnaru

Jira/Tsu

Favorite FMA pairings:

Ed/Win

Favorite Avatar Pairings:

Toph/Sokka

Sokka/Suki

Aang/Toph

Aang/Katara

Favorite Bleach Pairings:

Ichi/Ruki

Ishi/Hime

Yoru/Ichi

Ura/Yoru

Hitsu/Karin

Favorite Crossover Pairings:

Naruto/Rei (Sailor Moon)

Naruto/Tatsuki

Naruto/Yoruichi

Naruto/Winry

Naruto/Kagome

Naruto/Botan

Let it be known that I pretty much DESPISE yaoi. Not entirely, but yaoi is very complex. It is far too hard to get done well and far too many people write yaoi, but rush it, or make the characters OOC, and that just ruins it, ya know?

Also, I hate the NaruHina pairing. It just doesn't work. She'll never have enough confidence to make it work. I hate to say it, I really do, but naruto needs a strong woman who can put him in his place when he's acting stupid, not someone who practically worships him and would almost never disagree. Also there's the fact that if someone tried to rush their relationship, once again it would be totally OOC.

And what the hell is up with all of those fanfictions that totally ruin the pairings. I know I'm not a very good writer yet, but at least I try not to write stories where the main character and the girl/guy that the MC is being paired with fall in love after like, a week, of knowing each other. I mean seriously. More than half the stories I've ever read that had pairings went like this: "Hi i'm naruto. Nice to meet you." "Hi i'm (insert name here), nice to meet you too." ONE WEEK LATER (They've been on all of 1 date) "Naruto-kun, i love you." "(Insert name here)-chan I love you too."

You see what i mean?

And another thing. Hatake Kakashi. I don't understand him. Throughout the whole naruto show, he's an utter jackass. He only teaches naruto 1 thing, and naruto manages to grow exponentially anyway, and kakashi hardly utters 1 word of praise. But sasuke gets praise and compliments for getting put into a life threatening situation and getting the sharingan. It's not like he actually worked to get it, he simply almost died, a feat which naruto has done many more times than sasuke. But then after sasuke turns traitorous, does kakashi start treating naruto like he should've. And even then, all he did was tell naruto about shape and nature manipulation, the kage bunshin training method, and his chakra nature.

Favorite Bands: Secondhand Serenade, Linkin Park, Sum 41, Simple Plan, Three Days Grace, 3 Doors Down, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Aqua Timez, Panic! At The Disco, Asian Kung Fu Generation, Green Day...

Favorite Books: The twilight saga, Hacking Harvard, The center of the universe (yep, that'd be me), Peter and the starcatchers, peter pan, hook, The Percy Jackson saga, Heaven looks a lot like the mall, and many many more...

Favorie Animes/Mangas: Naruto, Naruto Shippuuden, Rosario+Vampire, Bleach, Death Note, Dragonball, Yu Yu Hakusho, Ai Yori Aoshi (Enishi), Prince of Tennis, Full Metal Alchemist, Trigun, Ouran High School Host Club, Sailor Moon, Love Monster...

Favorite Quotes:

"Science is the game we play with god to find out what His rules are."

"Never put off until tomorrow that which you can put off until the day after tomorrow-Mark Twain"

"I see. So basically, you’re a Death God? And you came all the way from some place called Soul Society to vanquish evil spirits? Which means that monster earlier was one of those evil spirits? And it attacked that little girl? Okay, I belie– NO WAY I’LL BELIEVE THAT, DUMBASS!– Kurosaki Ichigo"

"ICHIGO: I came this far to save you. It doesn’t matter if you say you wanna face the death penalty…I’m gonna save you even if I have to drag you away! From this point on, all your opinions are rejected! Got that, dumbass?

RUKIA: What the hell is that?! You’re ignoring all the rescuee’s opinions?! What kind of tyrannical way is that to save someone?!

ICHIGO: Shut up! The one being rescued doesn’t get to complain! You just act the part and stand around trembling and say ‘Oh, save me!’

RUKIA: ‘Oh, save me!’ my butt! I don’t tremble!”

"Hey- 'thou shalt not kill'- remember? What kind of church man are you?"- Vash the stampede

"I always knew that you were no mere mortal... But i had no idea that you were a cat."- Wolfwood

"Mada mada dane"

Naruto Quiz Thing! Label your own 1-12 fav characters, then answer the questions. Don't forget to copy and paste this inside your profile!

1. Naruto

2. Temari

3. Gaara

4. Lee

5. Shikamaru

6. Tayuya

7. Tsunade

8. Sakura

9. Shino

10. Jiraiya

11. Anko

12. Konohamaru

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Tayuya/Anko. No, I haven't, but can you say, "Epitome of S&M Yuri."?

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

"THE POWER OF YOUUUUUTH!" Ahhhh... my eyes are burning! No, I don't think lee is hot.

3)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Naruto would kill konohamaru. End of story. Plus, I'd laugh my ass off.

4)Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Some shino fanfics... not many though.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Umm... seriously? Temari/Tayuya? Temari fucking KILLED Tayuya.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Hehe. Shikamaru/Shino, or Shikamaru/Jiraiya. Well... jiraiya doesn't strike me as gay, or petifilic, so I'm gonna say 5/9.

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Tsunade walking in on Temari and Konohamaru. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA XDXDXDXDXD!! FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fanfic.

Gaara and Jiraiya...

"Gaara's seal is going haywire, and they need someone to fix it. Enter jiraiya. Can jiraiya not only mend the seal, but mend gaara's heart? Angst/Fluff."

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

Umm... hell yes. Probably at least a quarter of all non-crossover naruto fanfics contain at least a little narusaku fluff.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Tsunade and Konohamaru.

My Miniature Saviour

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

What friends list?

13) Does anyone you know writes or draw Eleven?

Nope!

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Temari/Lee/Shikamaru. Could be a funny story, but again, what friends list?

15) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Jiriaya'd say: "This'll be great material for my next booooooooooook..."

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Sakura. I'd choose Gives You Hell by the All-American Rejects, cuz that's what I think naruto should feel about sakura.

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Naruto/Tayuya/Konohamaru

Warning: Mature Language, people being raised from the dead, and petifilia.

18) What would be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Jiraiya and Temari. AAHH MY EYES!

Jiraiya: So... need me to help you get sand out of any uncomfortable places for you?

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

Anko describing Temari and Sakura's relationship:

Anko: That is so... SEXY. Move over girls, make room for a threesome!

20) How emo is Seven?

Tsunade being emo? Well, it depends. She was pretty emo while she was still depressed about dan and nawaki, but after naruto rescued her she wasn't very emo at all.

Copy and paste to your profile if you wish!

Percy Jackson and the Olympians Survey

1. Which book from the series was your favorite? Why?
The Last Olympian. Epic battle scenes, intense percabeth, and sarcastic chapter titles. What else could you ask for?

2. Which Olympian god/goddess is your favorite? Least favorite?
My favorite is Poseidon. He's epic awesomeness that controls OCEANS! Least favorite would be Athena, I hate how she says that annabeth is her favorite daughter and then has total disregard for her happiness.

3. Which half-blood/mortal in the series is your favorite? Least favorite?
My favorite is Annabeth. My least favorite is Clarisse.

This or That

Percabeth (Percy and Annabeth) or Lukabeth (Luke and Annabeth)?
Most definetely Percabeth. After all, luke's an evil, betraying jackass that deserves no love!

Annabeth or Rachel?
Annabeth. No shit.

Thalia or Luke?
Too easy. Luke's a jerk, thalia's awesome. You figure out my answer.

Riptide or Backbiter?
RIPTIDE IS SUPREME EPICNESS!

Wisdom or the Sea?
The sea.

True or False (opinion based)

Percabeth?
TRUE!

Perachel?
False, but good bait to get annabeth to realize her feelings.

I have read one of the books in less than 4 hours.
False. My fastest time is when I read TLO, I finished in 7 hours.

I wish that when Annabeth kissed Percy that they weren't about to die and he would've kissed her back.

Naw... I mean, it was so much more romantic when they finally got together at the end of TLO.

I have written fanfiction for this series.

Not yet, but you can expect some at some point.

If you roll your eyes every time you see someone spell diary, 'dairy', copy and paste this in to your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrolably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish that tsunade was your grandmother, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have read Breaking Dawn More than 10 times, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that somewhere along the line of writing the Harry Potter series, J.K.Rowling went insane and therefore paired Hermione with Ron even though she and Harry make the perfect couple, copy and paste this into your profile

100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you.

List twelve of your favorite characters from PJO, in no particular order.

1. Percy

2. Annabeth

3. Rachel

4. Grover

5. Silena

6. Aphrodite

7. Poseidon

8. Luke

9. Thalia

10. Nico

11. Clarisse

12. Tyson

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Aphrodite/Clarisse... OH GODS NOO MY EYES!!

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Um not that hot... the whole lower half of the body is a goat thing is kind of a turn-off

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Well, first off, tyson getting luke pregnant is impossible cuz they're both guys, but even if it was possible... well, that just wouldn't happen

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Tons... I just can't remember their names

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Annabeth/Aphrodite Hmm... I don't think so. I mean, they don't really get along too well.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

5/10 a.k.a Silena/Nico ! That'd be really cute!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out?

If poseidon walked in on annabeth and tyson making out... I'd laugh my ass off... and he probably would too.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Rachel/Nico

Annabeth and percy are together, meanwhile rachel and nico feel left out. How do they pass the time?

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Percy/Luke ... I don't think so...

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Poseidon/Tyson

My Son

11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

What friends list?

12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

WHICH FRIENDS LIST!! GRAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Seriously? Annabeth/Grover/Silena . Um... even if I knew which friends list you were talking about, that'd still be a NO!

14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

In the End by Linkin Park ... it just suits him

15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

That... that's just sick. You disgust me! Seriously! Percy/Aphrodite/Tyson! That's just plain WRONG! That pairing fails. Epically.

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

A few hours ago.

17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (5).

Percy and Poseidon are in a happy relationship until Thalia runs off with Poseidon. Percy, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Clarisse and a brief unhappy affair with Aphrodite, then follows the wise advice of Silena and finds true love with Silena.

Wrong... just so, so, wrong!

What title would you give this fic?

Percy the Manwhore

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a heated arguement?

Poseidon vs. Luke Poseidon would PWN!!

19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

I would calmly ask them how they became friends, and then go into fangirl mode and ask for photos/autographs from percy and/or annabeth... but mostly percy.

20. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

Luke and clarisse in a closet with a rubber ducky. I'd take tons of photos and use them as blackmail.

21. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

I would feel incredibly sad... annabeth is like, my fictional idol!

22. If you saw (9) and (3) in bed together, what would you do?

Thalia and rachel in a bed together... well, that'd never happen, considering that hunters are supposed to be virgins, and oracles can't have sex either.

23. What would you say if you found out that (12) was a rapist?

I would laugh... and laugh... and laugh... and then warn percy, annabeth, and grover... and NO ONE ELSE!! MWAHAHAHAHAA (Yes, I do feel slightly high right now, thanks for asking.)

24. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

I would flop onto my bed and sigh, before saying, "Nico, what could you possibly want with my stuff... and it's polite to ask before going through other people's stuff. Ask next time."

25. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?

Um... percy? Emo? That... makes me sick to think about.

26. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?

I'd smile and hug him, before requesting a song on his reed pipes.

27. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

"Hey... since you're the goddess of love and all, can you enchant that hairbrush so that whenever I use it I have good luck with guys? Or at least, have my hair look nicer than usual?"

28. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think?

"Poseidon, Thalia, and Grover. Shut... the HELL UP before I turn you into mince meat and scatter you through tartartus. I need my sleep gods damnit!”

29. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do?

I would sit and watch the fights that would undoubtedly happen between my teachers. I might even bring some popcorn.