Hi, my name is Christen. I am a twilight obsessed horselover. I ride horses obviously and I love to jump. Dressage really isn't my thing, i'll try it but i'm going to stick with jumping. I'm a twilighter/fanpire, whichever you prefer to call twilight fans. I've read all of the twilight saga ,so when you read my twilight inspired stories i know what i'm talking about... for the most part. Just so you kno, i'm a total spazz so sometimes i don't really make sense, just bear with me and tell me and i'll fix it. ok? thank you

Love

~~Twilight Horse Luver~~

Currently working on: Growing up as Bella Hale & Horse Shows. Sequal to Bella get sick will be soon...i hope..

Sorry everyone that i haven't been updating. I have been busy with school and just haven't had any time to write at all. I spend most of my time at school and any free time at the barn, working with a green pony. So sorry there hasn't been updates but I have to have my priorities. Plus now i'm working at my barn's riding camp... so joy working with kids and annoyed ponies/horses.

Favorites:

Movies: The Twilight Saga Movies, Dreamer, Black Beauty,THe Proposal, Stick it, Scream,Moondance Alexander,When In Rome, Drumline.

TV: Charmed, Family Guy, NCIS, Bones,House, Numbers,CSI:Miami, Make It Or Break It, Heartland, THe Ellen Degeneres Show, Whose Line is it anyway?, Dirty Jobs, Access Hollywood, TMZ.

Books: THe Twilight Saga, The Gallgher Girls Series, Canterwood Crest, Of Mice and Men, Speak.

Somewhere behind the rider you've become, the hours of practice, frustration, numerous falls, and the coaches that have pushed you...is the little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back. Ride for her.

How to ride a horse: Step One - Mount the horse. Step Two - Stay mounted ...

Take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got and remember what you had.Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret. PEOPLE CHANGE, THINGS GO WRONG, but just remember life goes on.

Somewhere behind the athlete you've become
The coaches who pushed you
The people who believed in you
The long hours of schooling
The dirt beneath your nails
The falls you've taken
The ribbons you didn't win
The tears you've cried
And the horses you've given your heart to
Is the little girl who fell in love with a horse
And never looked back

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a children's fold-away stroller:
Do not fold while child is in stroller
(Wouldn't that save time?)

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Then later do this again yelling "The Brittish are coming!"

Repost this if you laughed...

Or are planning to do any of these things

Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise

Write your top ten Twilight characters in no particular
order and answer the questions - no peeking!

1. Bella Swan
2. Edward Cullen
3. Esme Cullen 4. Alice Cullen 5. Rosalie Hale.
6. Carlisle Cullen
7. Jasper Hale 8. Emmett Cullen 9. Renesmee 10. Seth Clearwater

1. Have you ever read a three/eight fanfic before?
Esme & Emmett? ...mo not one just about them...2. Do you think four is hot?
Do I think Alice is hot? I don't roll that way.

3. What would happen if eight got one pregnant?
...If Emmett got Bella pregnant? WTF? Well Edward would beat the shit out of him .

4. Do you recall any fics about two?
Yepz.Most of them are about Edward.

5. Would four and five make a good couple?
Alice and Rosalie?If they were lesbians maybe but i'd doubt it. Although i do a friend that has a crush on Alice...

6. Seven and three or seven and nine?
Jasper and Esme ewww he would be going with his mom... and Jasper and Nessie WTF? Nessie and her UNCLE would be weird too. both are just wrong!

7. What would happen if one walked in on two and eight in an awkward situation?
...If Bella walked in on Edward and Emmett?! What the hell?

8. Make up a summary of a three/ten fic.
Esme and Seth? Esme was tired of Carlisle , so she heads over to La Push, unaware that she would find love?

9. Is there such a thing as one/eight fluff?
Bella and Emmett? If there is..I'm not gonna search!

10. Suggest a title for a six/two hurt/comfort fic.
Carlisle and Edward? 'I need a doctor'? IDK!

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to go out with one?
If I wanted Bella to go out with Alice?...I guess make Jasper and Edward mates, then have Bella's blood sing for Alice...I guess...

12. What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?
"Edward. your my best vamp friend!"

13. If you wrote a song-fic about nine, what song would you choose?
Nessie... "My little girl" by Tim McGraw

14. If you wrote a one/five/nine fic, what would the warning be?
A Bella/Rosalie/Nessie? WARNING: FIGHTING SHOPPING VAMPIRE GIRLS

15. What might be a good pick-up line for four to use on eight?
Alice might use on Emmett? "Wanna play truth or dare?"

Songs i listen to while writing.

Sense of spark : Finger Eleven
Circus : Britney Spears
Supermassive Black Hole: Muse
Thnks fr th Mmrs: Fall out boy
Dance, dance: Fall out boy
Teenagers: my chemical romance
Poker face: Lady gaga
Shoes: Kelly
Blood: My Chemical Romance
Bella's lullaby: Carter Burwell...i think
Bruises and bitemarks: Good with grenades
All I ever wanted: Basshunter
Crush: Paramore
"Ebay":Weird Al Yankovic haha it's hilarious!

Everyone that hates stereotypes, put this on your profile. The bold ones apply to me.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.

I'm a SINGER, so I MUST think im better then everyone else.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm a DEMOCRATE, so I MUST not believe in being RESPONSIBLE

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm an equestrian, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging steal-your-money type of girl.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy to get.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I'm INTO THEATURE &ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGATARIAN, so I MUST be a CRAZY POLITICAL ACTIVIST.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I HAVE A BIG BUTT, so I MUST be a slut.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a GIRL WHO ACTUALLY EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MORMAN, so I MUST be perfect.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Ambercombie &Hollister.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I DON'T LIKE THE SUN, so I MUST be an albino.

I SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenagers who drink &smoke, so I MUST drink and smoke too.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of humor, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm DEFFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy obsessed stalker.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I like BLOOD, so I MUST be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and a MURDERUR.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school,so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue.

I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a loner.

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a santanist.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST! (Does this count if you do sometimes?)

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.

I like GAMES,ANIME, AND COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I SPOT GRAMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be one too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes, so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I am a PERFECTIONIST SO I MUST check everything 10 times and burts into tears at one mistake.

I am VERY SOCIAL, I MUST have no life.

I like FIRE, so I MUST be an arsonist.