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| Jinx 456 |
Heyy guys, this is me, Jinx 456. Sorry to tell you that I don't write Fan Fictions, I just read them. Sorry. There are some really good Fan Fictions out there by the way, and I love to read them. Some of my favourite books/TV shows etc. are: Twilight, Friends, Gossip Girl, Ugly Betty, The It girl, Family Guy, American Dad, Ghost Whisperer, Waterloo Road, Eastenders and Pushing Daisies (R.I.P). There are a few more but I'm not going to name them all. =) XD
"One day, I shall take over the world and buy all the cookies I want." "You truly out gayed yourself." "Sometimes letting go doesn't mean your weak, it mean your strong enough to let go." " Roses are red , Voilets are blue , God made me hot , What the hell happened to you ?"
1. Chandler 1. Have you ever read a 6/11 fic? Do you want to? Yes 2. Do you think 4 is hot? How hot? No, I'm a girl 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? If Jasper got Blair pregnant, I don't know what would happen, maybe Blair would die?? 4. Can you recall any fics about 9? Yes, quite a few. 5. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple? Serena and Emmett, probably yeah. That would be fun to see. 6. 5/9 or 5/10? Why? Carlisle and Chuck, NO! It's just wrong. Carlisle and Esme, yeah. They already are! 7. What would happen if 7 were to walk in on 2 and 12 making out? Ross would probably just stand there watching and not saying anything. 8. Make up a summary for a 3/10 fic. Esme's feelings on Alice joing the family 9. Is there any such thing as a 1/8 fluff? No. 10. Suggest a title for a 7/12 hurt/comfort fic. 11. If you wrote a song-fic about 8, what song would you chose? Beyonce and Shakira- Beautiful Liar 12. If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would your warning be? Warning= Chandler may get hurt during this Fan Fiction. 13. When was the last time you read a fic about 5? Yesterday 14. Would 1 look if 2 got lost? Only if they knew each other, which could happen, maybe?? 15. What would 3 say if 4 killed 9? Alice would probably say that she should have seen it coming. 16. 12 goes to break up 10 and 8's wedding. What is their dialogue/ trialogue? 17. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate (8/eight) 9. =) If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head copy/paste this into your profile If you have ever walked in to a pole copy/paste this into your profile If you talk to yourself or fictional characters copy/paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed a door that said pull (or vica versa) copy/paste this into your profile If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever really wanted to slap someone, but didn't copy/paste this onto your profile. If you have ever screamed at characters in a movie or on a TV show, telling them what to do, even if you already know that they don't do it, copy/paste this onto your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile. If everytime you hear thunder you think or say "well someone got a home run" and know why, copy and paste this into your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. I agree when people say girls rule now and 4ever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile If you've reread Twilight over four times, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read New Moon and wanted to punch Jacob Black, copy this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the hell of it copy this into your profile If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice, Golden Eyed Vampire, vampgurl15,LxiPattz, xWayTooMuchSugarx, GossipGirlHere, Jinx456 If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/Hollister told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad When she stares at your mouth When she pushes you or hits you When she starts cussing at you When she's quiet When she ignores you When she pulls away When you see her at her worst When you see her start crying When you see her walking When she's scared When she lays her head on your shoulder When she steals your favorite hat When she teases you When she doesn't answer for a long time When she looks at you with doubt When she says that she likes you When she grabs at your hands When she bumps into you When she tells you a secret When she looks at you in your eyes When she misses you When you break her heart When she says its over When she repost this bulletin Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; TRUE LOVE: Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." HHAHAHAHA! A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies (truest thing EVER). A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now Heres some of my favorite quotes from Pushing Daisies, even if you haven't seen the show some of them are soooo funny you can't help but laugh! Season 1: Emerson: Check please. Olive: slams two large wads of cash down on Emerson's table Emerson: Or cash. Cash is good. grabs money, puts it on his lap Olive: I want to hire you. Technically, I already have, since you were so grabby with the cash. Emerson: Think of it as an escrow between my thighs. Ned: Is this a bad idea? Olive as a client? It's a little too close for comfort. Emerson: sarcastically Oh, hang on a second, let me ask the money. Emerson makes his hand a telephone Emerson: Hey money, it's me, Emerson. Ned rolls his eyes Emerson: I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, thanks for asking. Say, can I still pay my bills and buy stuff with you, even though you was Olive's money first? Uh huh. Ned: Wait. Emerson: laughs Yeah, okay then. Thanks. laughs again The money don't care. Touch him. Emerson: I love you, shovel. Emerson Cod: Sounds like you're narcoleptic. Ned: I suffer from sudden and uncontrollable attacks of deep sleep? Emerson: confused What's the other one? Ned: Necrophiliac. Emerson: Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head. Olive Snook: Me too. I used to think that masturbation meant chewing your food. pauses I don't think that anymore. Chuck: What? You love secrets; you want to marry secrets and have little half-secret, half-human babies. Emerson: I'm not God, but if I was, I'd be an angry God. Chuck: I have so many questions. My mind wanders. Ned: You need to feed it warm milk and a turkey sandwich, let it curl up in a sunny spot and take a nap. Olive: This is a pie shop, not a herbal crack den. Olive: Musing on the idea of setting someone on fire doesn't mean you really want to set them on fire, it's just the thought of it that makes you happy, but only for a second and then you feel bad, but that second can be a lot of fun! Emerson: Some women love like gangstas. They be like "Ooh baby, you bleedin'! How dat happen?" While dey hidin' the razor in their weave. Ned: You’re the only one for me. Chuck: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want. Ned: So? Everyone wants stuff, we wake up every day with list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy. Chuck: What do you need to be happy? Ned: You. Alfredo: If I loved you... Then I would love you in any way I could, and if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty... And if I went blind, I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind... Narrator: The pie-maker considered how not telling Chuck the truth about her father was a lot like being locked in a prison. Then he considered how being locked in a prison was actually much worse than some silly metaphor about truth. Ned: Could that have happened to me on the roof? Could I have be swarmed? ...In my underwear too. I could've been swarmed in my underwear. Emerson: Hey, you don't just get to put them pictures in my head. That's an assault on my imagination. Season 2: Chuck: Boy, Kentucky sure had it in for Betty but, who had it in for Kentucky? Ned: The Terrifying Bee Man. Chuck: What if he was made entirely out of bees and that's why she couldn't see his face because he didn't even have one. I mean, what if there's a whole "Bee-folk society" who'd walk around shaped like people? Ned: Your thinking about how you can train your bees to walk around in people shapes, aren't you? Chuck: Yeah. Olive comes in while Ned, Chuck and Emerson discuss the case Olive: I know, they were lovers at the same-sex persuasion, and the key is for their love nest. Ned: We've ruled out "Workplace Romance". Olive: Oh... I'll just, cross that off my list then. Chuck: I haven't ruled out "Workplace Romance". Chuck and Ned smile at one another Emerson: Romance does give you motive. Somebody's always lovin' somebody they shouldn't be lovin'. Glares at Olive, who glares back. Chuck: There was a young man named Von Deenis. Ned: Who they said had a very big... commercial break Ned: Could I just say that I know you can take care of yourself. When you moved out I panicked because I thought everything was changing... Chuck: Everything is changing. Ned: Way to ruin a good apology. Chuck: What is so terrible about starting fresh? Ned: Because starting fresh means something else is ending stale. Chuck, who I destroyed Play-Doh cities with; Chuck, my best friend, my first kiss; I don't want that to change. Chuck: Yeah, and I'm also Chuck, who went on a pleasure cruise and got a plastic bag put over her head. Ned: That's not as much fun to remember. Chuck: But it happened, and when it was happening I was thinking... well, actually I was thinking "Son of a bitch, why did I have to go get ice for my ginger ale?" but, really I was thinking "I finally get to live my own life and it's already over" ...And then you, you came and you gave me another chance. Ned: So it's my fault Chuck: My first time around I was terrified of change and I'm not going to make that mistake again; I can't. Olive: Praying Father, I wish to stay here forever and serve. If this is not thy will, then drop me a line. Sister LaRue falls to her death and lands infront of Olive Chasing Sister LaRue after reviving her Ned: Nun on the run! Nun on the run! Nun on the run! Catches up to LaRue and touches her again Ned: We are so going to hell. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you've ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever ran into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever tried to impress a guy, but ended up making yourself look horible then copy this to your profile! Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile. If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song, to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy/paste this on your profile. ╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmett Everytime there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know. My favorite quotes from Twilight Series: And so the lion fell in love with the lamp. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight Regardless, I have better reflexes. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I am not ashamed of it. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight Just because I’m resisting the wine doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the bouquet. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight I may not be human, but I am a man. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight Your hair looks like a haystack…but I like it. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight You are my life now. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight Ι love you, it's a poor excuse for what i am doing, bit it's still true. ~Edward Cullen, Twilight ¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨
But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous.
Which book in the series is your favorite? Eclipse How long did it take you to read the books? A few weeks Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? Buy them Who is your favorite character? All of the Cullens, except Renesmee Who's your favorite vampire? All the Cullens, I can't choose Who is your favorite werewolf? Jacob What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories? Edward: I don’t see you making yourself useful. Why don’t you go fetch a space heater or something? Jacob:Go fetch a space heater. I’m not a St. Bernard. What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment? I have lots, but probably when they officially get engaged What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment? When he kisses her, and she then punches him and brakes her hand How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment? Can't decide What was your favorite adventure/battle? In New Moon, when Bella, Alice and Edward are with the Volturi. It's not really a battle, but it's a good scene (in the movie and the book) Which book cover was your favorite? All of them, I can't decide Are these books among your favorite books of all? Yes, their one of my favourite series of books Twilight or New Moon? BOTH! New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse, but I still love New Moon Eclipse or Twilight? Eclipse, but again I still love Twilight Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? Edward, deffinatley Who do you like more: Bella or Edward? Edward Bella or Jacob? Bella Bella or Alice? Love them both! Alice or Jacob? Alice, buy far. I like Jacob, but he's kinda annoying Rosalie or Alice? BOTH! Jasper or Alice? BOTH! Jasper or Edward? BOTH! Carlisle or Esme? Love them both, two of my favourite characters Emmett or Jasper? Love them both. Deffinatley can't decide Emmett or Jacob? Emmett all the way Bella or Rosalie? Again, BOTH! Esme or Charlie? Esme Charlie or Carlisle? Carlisle Charlie or Billy? Charlie Jacob or Sam? Both Sam or Quil? Quil Quil or Embry? Embry Who's the better villain: James or Victoria? Like them both, but it would have to be Victoria Werewolves or Vampires? Vampires, but werewolves are still cool Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !) When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. He would make a lovely corpse. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Money doesn't make you happy. I now have 50 million but I was just as happy when I had 48 million. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side. "Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost? Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. - Mrs. White, (Clue 1985) If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'? We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh. When life gives me lemons I throw them back and demand Edward. Real men...sparkle. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. I will temporarily rule the world, forever. You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon Don't look at me with that tone of voice! Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver "PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a a bitch" "Stress: The condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someone's ass" "MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... godamnit... all of our problems start with MEN!" " 'I love you' is eight letters. And so is 'bullshit' " "When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find out they are not it." The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them. I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on. Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” (Fred Allen) “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. “ (Woody Allen) “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. “ (Steven Wright) “If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? “ (Lily Tomlin) “I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people. “ “I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead. “ “Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food. “ “We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect. “ (Alanis Morissette) “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. “ (P. J. O’Rourke) “Airplanes may kill you, but they ain’t likely to hurt you. “ (Satchel Paige) “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” (Laurence J. Peter) “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience. “ (George Bernard Shaw) “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. “ (Lily Tomlin) “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? “ (Lily Tomlin) “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. “ (Harry S. Truman) “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. “ (Mark Twain) ,Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone. I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. "I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay." GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A BLONDE. "POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON" None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all Anger is one letter short of danger. If you die, I'll kill you!" They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?. "I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous "When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown "I'll kill you until you die!!" "They misunderestimated me!" -George W. Bush" "The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus" "Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass" Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me? If two wrongs don't make a right, try three I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goo
-On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile. Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought "I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." ~ Anonymous "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." ~ Anonymous Tell the truth and run. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else" "Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real." They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Ever had writers block when talking? Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you. AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s including Bella Disorder. AV is Addicted to Vampires ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Men are like bank accounts.Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either. 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. 3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. 4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. 5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. 6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it. 7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. 8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. 9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. 10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" 11. My Reality Check bounced. 12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key. 13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. 14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. 15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. 16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. 17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level. 18. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? 19. If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you. 20. If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good 21. The family that sticks together should bathe more often. 22. The fridge light DOES go out. Now let me out of here!! 23. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 24. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. 25. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 26. Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. Friends or best friends FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN we really messed up!" FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. here's a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"I'M HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this craaaaaap If you call me a BITCH, well, a bitch is a female dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, and nature is beautiful, so thanks for the compliment! Girls Things guys should know about girls! 1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out. (CARDINAL RULE) 2. Don't say you understand when you don't. 3. Girls are petty; get over it. We like to start fights. 4. You don't have PMS, so don't act like you know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me you never will. 5. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 6. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big. 7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys. 8. It's good to be sensitive sometimes. 9. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize. 10. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it, but it is extremely sweet. 11. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it. 12. We are Drama queens; never forget that. 13. Fashion police do exist. 14. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about. 15. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times. 16. We don't shave our legs everyday: get over it. 17. Don't make bets about us; we always find out; you may think we don't know, but WE DO! 18. Shave! No matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it. We like clean-cut men. 19. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. 20. Don't compare us to Pamela Anderson; parts of her are fake, just remember that. (Remember: you have a better shot at us than you ever will have with her.) 21. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. 22. We are beautiful at all times. 23. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't. 24. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can't you aim in the toilet and not on it. 25. Most importantly: we are always right in one way or another so don't forget that! 26. we have an excuse to act bitchy once a month; you dont For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is if you've falen while going UP stairs and brought some down with you and the started laughing at THEM...and then yourself later. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO! I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! If two wrongs don't make a right, try three I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE." What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. "We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook “You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” "Love your enemies! It really pisses them off" "Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again "Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"- find "good morning" a contradiction of terms You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us! I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Smile. It confuses people. If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? The world is cruel... get used to it! Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!! A day without sunshine is like... night. A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiney? Behold the mighty...chihuahua? When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town. "It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone." "Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that." "When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate." "It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. Jesus died for "Myspace" in heaven!! There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & Those who can't Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice Every morning is the dawn of a new error I used up all my sick days, so I am calling in dead Proofread carefully to see if you any words out Ever stop to think, but forget to start again? Don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out. If at first you DO succeed, then don't look so astonished Education is important. Although, school is another matter entirely. Music is love in search of words. Isn't it a cruel idea to have an 's' in 'lisp'? Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds! I ran with scissors and lived! I agree with the dictionary: Girls before Guys, Partying before Studying, and Friends before Love I don't obsess. I just think intensely. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. The knack of flying is attempting to fall... and missing the ground. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone has a weird side. Me and my friends just prefer to make it public. Somebody needs a happy meal. Music is like candy, you throw away the rappers. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead? When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. If you don't like me, there's nothing I can do. Newsflash honey, I don't live to please you! We fall for stupid boys, make lots of stupid mistakes, talk really fast, and laugh incredibly loud. But us teenages girl are really good at one thing: Staying strong. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not. Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me. I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. I smile because I have no idea what's going on. He who smiles in the midst of a tradgedy has found someone to blame it on.
1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. 2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE. 4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler. 5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? 6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'? 7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? 8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton 9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown 10.) "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." – Unknown 11.) "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid." – Unknown 12.) "He who laughs last didn't get it." – Unknown 13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. 14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney! 15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! 16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. 17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. 18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head 19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." 20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin. 21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days" 22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder 23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... 24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. 25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public 26.) Guns don't kill people. I do. 27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. 28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron. 29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either. 30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. 31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS 32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. 33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. 34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship. 35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. 36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet 37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. 38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have 39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal. 40.) Did you just call me a bch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. 41.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing. TEAM EDWARD: because all guys should be this perfect... TEAM EMMETT: because I LOVE a guy with muscles... TEAM JASPER: he can take a snap at me any time... TEAM CARLISLE: because I like to play doctor... haha... TEAM JACOB: because I don't mind a little extra hair... CULLENISM: my new religion. DRACULA? Pff, more like Edward Cullen... I have OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder. MIKE NEWTON: my brand of valium. PROUD TO BE A BRUNETTE! (Edward prefers them. Take that, blondes!) JACOB BLACK doesn't have to toast at 108.9 degrees F to have me SWEATING...! I thought I had found my Edward Cullen... but it was just another idiot with fangs. If Edward Cullen was real, I'd like, totally stalk him. WARNING: Having a vampire boyfriend may be hazardous to your health. (Not that you'd care.) Why so sullen, Edward Cullen? TWILIGHT: noun, 1. period between afternoon and nighttime 2. the first textually transmitted disease. THANKS TO TWILIGHT, now if that certain boy seems to ignore me, it's only because he's a vampire, and he's polite enough to try and resist my blood. EDWARD CULLEN: he's bringing sexy back... yeah! EMMETT CULLEN is a sexy beast. Literally. JASPER HALE: Making you feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts. In my mind: Edward loves me, Alice is my BFF, and Jacob wants me. I kissed a WEREWOLF and I liked it! I hope my VAMPIRE don't mind it! JACOB BLACK OR EDWARD CULLEN?? Ah, that's easy. BOTH, PLEASE AND THANKS! Maybe I shouldn't say it... but JAMES, if you wanted to track me, I wouldn't be so hard to find... haha. I like my men cold, dead and sparkling. If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing Edward. In my personal opinion, Bella is a complete twat. Twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight. What obsession? Oh, for Fork's sake. YOU REALLY KNOW YOU'VE REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN, AND ARE TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT, WHEN YOU WATCH WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, JUST IN CASE SOMEONE CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.
HE SAID: I don't know why you wear a bra: you've nothing to put in it. SHE SAID: You wear pants, don't you? Hahahahahahahaha. Wait. What? I have super powers. I just don't want to show you. Hi. I have cool socks on today. I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as I do. Don't flatter yourself. I was looking at your friend. ME?? SARCASTIC?? NOOOOO. I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce. Tell your boyfriend's pants it's not polite to point. FAKE. It's the latest trend. and everyone seems to be in style. If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain... bom chicka wah wah... and every word is nonsense, but I understand. When The Power Of Love Will Overcome The Love Of Power, The World Will Know Peace. Secret Admirer: a stalker with stationary. Who ever said, "Nothing is impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door. Don't follow me... I'm lost too. Poke me. I dare you. Doctors say I have Multiple Personalities. We disagree with that. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt... then it's hilarious. DON'T DRINK WATER: fish have sex in it. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is question is Carlisle Cullen, get those apples the hell away from me. I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths. "If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English." - Homer Simpson. One night I looked up at the beautiful stars and began to think... where the HECK is my roof?? Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to. I'm smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet.
Someone has to spread the good news that we survived. The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business. I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be. You really should stay away from me. I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you. Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know. I hear voices in my mind and you’re worried that you’re the freak. Be safe. You are exactly my brand of heroin. And so the lion fell in love with the lamb… What a sick, masochistic lion. Come on, little coward, climb on my back. Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise? Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it. You are utterly indecent — no one should look so tempting, it’s not fair. Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me! And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct? Actually, Esme wouldn’t care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don’t even think we have cobwebs… what a disappointment this must be for you. You really shouldn’t have said that. It seems I’m going to have to tamper with your memory. You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window. You have to admit, it could happen. Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand… I’m sorry if there’s been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight. To be perfectly honest, she’ll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I’m sorry about your evening. When someone wants to kill you, you’re brave as a lion — and then when someone mentions dancing… ~Edward Cullen, Twilight | |||||
