HEY

Please tell me what you think of my writing I need to know what to change. I love to know what you think of my writing even what you think is bad about it.

xoxo-RaNdoM-pIxIE-xoxo

All the guys in my storys are based on book characters I have read about! none of my stuff is Bteaed If any one wants to they can...

Here are some of my favourite sayings:

Shoes can change your life just ask Cinderella.

My friends are the type that would spend hours trying to drown a fish.

So there is this thing called retardedness and me and my girls have gone pro.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tryed slamming a revolving door.

My mother told me not to talk to strange people i never talk to myself any more.

Remember that the titanic was built by professionals and the ark was built by ametures.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Friends will lend you an umbrella when it rains but a best friend will steal yours and yell run B@# run.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isnt it."

Go ahead and rain on my parade i have a really cool umbrella.

Dont frown when you are sad because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Lifes to short to blend in.

The next time you think you are perfect try walking on water.

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to stop its about going out there and daincing in the rain.

Diamonds are pretty and so are pearls but nothing is more pretty than me and my girls.

Parents spend the first part of your life teaching you to walk and talk and for the rest of it they tell you to sit down and shut up.

We were given 2 hands to hold, 2 legs to walk, 2 eyes to see. but why only 1 heart? because the other one was given to someone else for us to find.

One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

God created men first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.

Guys are like slinkies...it's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs.

Our eyes are placed in front because it's more important to look ahead than to look back.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Jasper Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."

"When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"One day your life will flash before your eyes, so make sure that it's worth watching."

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."

Amazing you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

My mind not only wanders sometimes it leaves completely!

Just when I was getting used to yesterday along came today!

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

Esme Cullen: Sweeter than you since 1800s

Carlisle Cullen: Smarter than you since 1640

Never argue with an idiot. The drag you down to their own level and then beat you with experience.

Forget Princess I want to be a vampire!

When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."

"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling?!"

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

We're not sarcastic, we're hilarious. We're not annoying, we're just cooler than you. We're not bitches, we just don't like you. We're not obsessed, we're just best friends.

I'm not afriad of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

The best things in life are unseen. That's why we colse our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who never will. So don't worry about the people in your past. There is a reason they didn't make it to your future.

Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Screw me over and I'll do it to you twice as hard. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea.

Growing old is mandatory...but growing up my friends, well that is optional.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good...

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I am who I am & sweetie I dont need your approval no matter how important yo u think it is...

If it wasnt for the last minute nothing would ever get done.

I eat peanut butter straight from the jar, prefer bear hugs to air kisses,sing along to cheesey songs and believe in second chances.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

Don't regret anything that made you smile because it made you happy even if things are different now it was worth it at the time.

It doesn't matter who you were a decade ago, a year ago, or even yesterday ... what matters is who you are today, and will be tomorrow!

FROM THE DESK OF TOTO - Dear Dorothy, Hate Oz...took the shoes...find your own way home. Love, Toto.

If you let your past disrupt your present you won't have any future.

They lied... Hard work has killed plenty of people.

Life was easier when making decisions was solved by a mood ring, doing rock,paper,scissors or shaking an 8 ball.

I know Jacob Black is fake... but Taylor Lautner is 100 REAL! :P

A Twilight Rehab center opened next door... Dont worry it is made of wood so it will burn quickly =)

I got paper cut yesterday but I got depressed because I waited the whole day but Jasper still didnt bite me =(

I keep trying to kidnapp Jasper but Alice is always there waiting for me. How does she kn...Oh Yeah

You may be my best friend but if zombies are chasing us I will trip you... But if the Cullens are chasing us feel free to trip me!

Team Alice because she can predict the shuffle on her I-pod =)

Save Gas drive like a Cullen

In my mind Jasper is my boyfriend, Alice is my best friend, Emmett is the big brother i never had and Jacob..well... hes around if i get cold!

"I know what you are, pale white and ice cold" "Say it, out loud" "Ice cream cake!"

Guys... don't take your girl to see new moon... u wont get any attention... u would just get jealous coz shes drooling over the guys on screen XD

Whoever wrecked Midnight Sun should have the Volturi sent to their house... And the wives!

Isnt the Harry Potter Story a little far fetched... I can believe the magic and the unicorns but a ginger kid with 2 mates that would never happen!

I can speak only casual Parsel Tounge... Its not much but I know all the basics... "Wheres the bathroom" "Open the chamber of secrets" that kind of stuff...

A tiger says "When I roar the whole Jungle shakes" The lion said "When I roar the whole of South America is scared" The pig said "When I sneeze the whole world craps themsleves.

My friends are the type who can turn even the most innocent conversation into something dirty...

Hasabrokenspacebardammit...

Im not fat I am just allergic to your perfume so everytime you are near me I swell up.

I always get my relatives petrol soaked fake mostaches. Its so much funto see their faces light up... =)

Females are tempermental thats 90 temper and 10 mental

What do you call a man who is kind, intelligent and considerate as well as strong and sexy?? A Cullen =)

I may look like a cute freckle faced country girl but there is a darkness inside me so if you want to piss me off make sure you plan your funeral first...

Anything you say I can and will associate with Twilight! (Me and my friend have been trying this she hasnt go tme yet I got her in like 5 minutes)

Roses are red violets are gold now get of your but and do what you are told!

I warn you the shit you hear about me could be true but then again it may be just as fake as the BITCH who told you!

If you have something to say say it to my face so that I can slap you for it.

Sweetie- You might be two faced but PLEASE at least make one of them pretty...

I can read minds... I know what you are doing... Wait its coming to me... Your on Fan-Fiction aint ya... See told you I knew...

Some random facts about me!!

I am CRAZY!

I am brunette

I am female

I hate citys! Including the only I now live in.

I am Australian.

I can laugh for hours over one little thing no matter how dumb

I think that people who want to be or think or get told they are popuar are really really annoying and should get a life.

I am not popular (as you could guess) and I dont want to be.

I hate attention.

I am kinda smart not freaky genius smart but smart.

I am a really bad at spelling!

I really love twilight.

The first Fan-Fiction I read was Falling into character a Bones f-f

I have only just read the Harry Potter series but I want Harry and Hermione to get together not Ron and Hermione!

I love to sing even though I sound like I am strangaling a cat!

I have been in school choir since year 4.

I hate PE!!

I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up... If I grow up

I can count to 10 in Japanese and to 20 in Italian and Bahasa Indonesia.

I can speak some Bahasa Indonesian, Italian and Japanese that isnt numbers. Also a TINY bit of French.

I can do origami from memory (crane and samari hat only I can do others but I need instructions)

I love to read and I read so much mum refuses to buy me books because I read them to quick.

I am a member of alot of librarys.

I love lots of old books. Especially Trixie Belden!

Can be totally hyper or I can be really quiet depending on who I am with at the time.

I am to tall for my liking.

My Favourite Comebacks:

Did you know that I told you so has a brother his name is shut the hell up!

Save it for Oprah drama queen.

Person 1: Are you trying to kill me? Person 2: Trying not succeding

Person 1: Is this seat taken Person 2: Yes and this one will be to if you sit down.

Person 1: You are ugly Person 2: You are quite good looking... for a gorilla that is.

Person 1: I just came back from the beauticians. Person 2: To bad it was closed.

Person 1: Ive changed my mind. Person 2: Great does the new one work better?

Person 1: You smell funny. Person 2: Its called soap dont think you have smelt it before.

Person 1: havent i seen you before? Person 2: Yes that is why i dont go there any more.

You don't have to say anything. You offend me just by being in the area.

Nothing you could say could offend me. I only get offended by things that make sense.

I wouldn't get angry at you today. It's "Be kind to Animals" week.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I might be short but you're ugly and I still have time to grow!

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I see you liked your first chin so much you decided to get another one.

Person 1: Smart #ss. Person 2: Me being smart has nothing to do with my #ss. Person 1: To bad it doesnt or you would be a genius! (sorry I cant spell)

Just Random Stuff:

One day three men were walking along and came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first man prayed to GOD saying, "Please, GOD, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! GOD gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to GOD saying, "Please, GOD, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! GOD gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to GOD saying, "Please, GOD, give me the strength, ability and intelligence to cross this river." And, poof! GOD turned him into a woman.
She looked at the map, then walked across the bridge.

This is totally sweet:

Girlfriend: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boyfriend: No

Girlfriend: Do you like me?

Boyfriend: No

Girlfriend: Do you want me?

Boyfriend: No

Girlfriend: Would you cry if I left?

Boyfriend: No

Girlfriend: Would you live for me?

Boyfriend: No

Girlfriend: Would you do anything for me?

Boyfriend: No

Girlfriend: Choose--me or your life

Boyfriend: My life

Girlfriend runs away in shock and pain and Boyfriend runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I visit a small town
I promise to obey traffic laws
Of course for Charlie's sake
And whenever a wolf howls,
I promise to remember Jake
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

Ten things to see before you die:

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.( I have seen this well he may not be emo but he looks like it!)

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. RIP Michael Jackson

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner. This has happened!

10. The reaction of the teen population if Abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing. (Whats acermobie??)

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'M RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. (just one, not all of my friends)
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future (No thats mainly just Gorge Bush)
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
I got to private school, so I must be a rich snob

6 truths of life:

1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.

2. All Idiots after reading the first truth will try it.

3. And discoveer that the first is a lie.

4. Your smiling now because your an idiot.

5. You will soon show this to another idiot.

6. Theres still a stupid smile on your face.

I apolagise about this I am an Idiot too and I need the company...

i knew a blonde that was so stupid that...
1. She called me to get my phone number.
2. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate.'
3. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
4. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. She tried to drown a fish.
7. She thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
9. She tripped over a cordless phone.
10. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
11. She asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. She studied for a blood test.
13. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When she heard that 90 of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
15. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left' she turned around and went home

My Stats:

Team Jacob/Team Edward
Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn
Robert Pattinson/Taylor Lautner
Movie/Book
Vampires/Werewolves
Rosalie/Alice
Emmett/Jasper
Kristen Stewart/Ashely Greene/Nikki Reed
Kellan Lutz/Jackson Rathbone
Jacob/Sam/Seth/Quil/Embry
Volvo/Porsche/M3/Jeep/Mercedes/Rabit
Cliff Diving/Motorcycles
Angela Weber/Lauren Mallory/Jessica Stanley
Mike Newton/Eric Yorkie/Tyler Crowley
Bella/Jacob
Aro/Marcus/Caius
Italy/Forks/Phoenix
Jane/Alec

My views on characters:

Bella:
I love her because without her there would be no twilight! But she is kinda weird because as if when you find out that a guy has been watching you sleep and followed you places you dont scream and run away! But she is awesome still.
10 Favourite Bella quotes:
I dont care whos a werewolf and whos a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch she can join the party too.(Eclipse)
I already know how strong you are you dont kneed to break the furniture. (Breaking Dawn)
Its a good thing you are bullet proof. (Breaking Dawn)
Did you know I told you so has a brother Jacob? His name is shut the hell up! (Breaking Dawn)
Stupid, shiny Volvo owner. (Twilight)
The thing, I thought to myself… it had possibilities — as a nickname, at the very least. (Twilight)
I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. (Twilight)
I tried to be diplomatic, but mostly I just lied a lot.(Twilight)
His tone questioned my sanity. (Twilight)
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. (Twilight)

Edward:
Totally romantic (In a creepy stalker way in twilight). I personally didnt like Rob Pattinson playing Edward he just looked wrong for the part! (SORRY ANY ROB PATTINSON FANS)
10 Favourtite Edward quotes:
Did you run over someones cat? (Eclipse)
Amazing how can someone so tiny be so annoying? (Eclipse)
Jasper shows up covered in battle scars towing this little freak. (Eclipse)
You know Jacob, if it wasnt for the fact that we are natural enemys and that your trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you. (Eclipse)
Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet? (New Moon)
Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either. (Twilight)
What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy? (Twilight)
Are you referring to the fact that you can’t walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over? (Twilight)
Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it. (Twilight)
And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct? (Twilight)

Jacob:
I like him in the story but I wouldnt want him to get together with Bella. It is good that he found Renesmee in the last book so that he dosent have to suffer. I loved all his blond jokes!
10 Favourite Jacob quotes:
Next time you want to hit me use a base ball bat or a crow bar ok? (Eclipse)
A little stoned. Dr Fang isnt sure how much pain medication I need. (Eclipse)
Mabey... If you werent about a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck the life out of the girl I love... well no not even then. (Eclipse)
Im getting older here Bella. Okay not technicly but you get the idea. (Breaking Dawn)
I still think dracular one and dracular two are creeptacular. (Breaking Dawn)
They are coming here to see you not the scenery(Breaking Dawn)
Does my being half naked bother you? (Eclipse)
He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that and this is his plural, not mine, ‘We’ll be watching.’(Twilight)
Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf? (New Moon)
After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, ‘She wishes she was that cool! (Breaking Dawn)

Alice:
I want a best friend like her! She is nice all the time and is always so bubbly and happy. Plus she would be alot of help when I am shopping!
5 favourite Alice quoets:
It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share. (Twilight)
Ive never seen anyone so prone to life threatining idocy. (New Moon)
Anyone else would have been better off when the vampires left town but you have to strat hanging round with the first monsters you can find. (New Moon)
How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto? (New Moon)
Bellas all about the extreme sports these days. (New Moon)

Jasper:
I dont know what to say about Jasper because you only really see him in Eclipse and thats it. I would have liked to see alot more of him though.
5 favourite Jasper quoets:
You truly are one frightening little monster. (Eclipse)
It’s just been my experience that some kinds of working relationships are better motivated by fear than by monetary gain. (Breaking Dawn)
Actually, Alice says there’s going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?(Twilight)
For the first time in a century I felt hope. (Eclipse)
And finally my absolute favourite just because of the accent...Oh well I think we can handle that! (Twilight Movie)

Rosalie:
Although she can be a bitch I still like her. She can be kind but also a total and utter Bitch. I really do like her now she has grown on me.
5 favourite Rosalie quoets:
Over my pile of ashes. (Breaking Dawn)
About time. The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired. (Breaking Dawn)
You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.(Breaking Dawn)
If we had happy endings, we’d all be under gravestones now. (Eclipse)
Edward has always been a little strange. (Eclipse)

Emmett:
He is so funny! I love all his lines in the books and Kellan Lutz was a good choice for him! He is one of my favourites!
10 favourite Emmet quoets:
You haven’t changed at all. I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always. (New Moon)
I have to step out for a second. Don’t do anything funny while I’m gone.(New Moon)
I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around. (Eclipse)
Fall down again, Bella? (Eclipse)
You’re monopolizing the bride. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush. (Breaking Dawn)
So it’s still standing? I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt? (Breaking Dawn)
Bout time somebody scored around here! (Breaking Dawn)
Oooo scary. (Breaking Dawn)
So you see, Hells not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you. (Twilight outtake from Stephanie Meyers website.)
Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort. (Breaking Dawn)

Esme:
She is so kind and caring I wish my mum was more like her! She barely says anything at all in the books!
5 favourite Esme quoets:
I hope you haven’t been showing off— it’s rude. (Twilight)
There are exceptions to every rule. (Twilight)
Emmett hits the hardest, but Edward runs the fastest. (Twilight)
Stop her, Edward. She’ll be unhappy if she hurts him. (Breaking Dawn)
You’re what he wants. It will work out, somehow. (Twilight)

Carlisle:
He is so nice and caring! He is awesome!
5 favourite Carlisle quoets:
I’m sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire. But I’m hoping that there is still a point to this life, even for us. It’s a long shot, I’ll admit. By all accounts, we’re damned regardless. But I hope, maybe foolishly, that we’ll get some measure of credit for trying. (New Moon)
I always wondered where the crown jewels disappeared to after John of England pawned them in the thirteenth century. I suppose it doesn’t surprise me that the Volturi have their share. (Breaking Dawn)
Try to find Alistair and tell him what happened. I’d hate to think of him hiding under a rock for the next decade. (Breaking Dawn)
Sorry about this, Bella. We couldn’t rein Alice in. (Twilight)
I’m Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and Alice, Edward and Bella (Twilight)

List Twelve fictional characters from the same book.

1. Alice

2. Jasper

3. Esme

4. Carlise

5. Emmet

6. Rosalie

7. Edward

8. Bella

9. Jacob

10. Charlie

11. Billy

12. Aro

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

A Rosalie/Billy story. No

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

No but my sister does.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

If Aro got Bella pregnant it would be funny but not impossible and really weird

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Jacob of course.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Jasper and Rosalie. I'm thinking no.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Bella/Jacob or Bella/Charlie. Easily Bella/Jacob!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?

If Edwrad walked in on Jasper and Aro in an awkward situation, I wouldnt want to know!.

8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.

Esme has an obusive partner and Charie is the police officer who looks into her case.

9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?

Alice/Bella. Some twisted person probly has written it

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Edward and Aro... Ummmmm Mind readers unite??

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?

Alice and Carlise... Why would I want that to happen it would just be very weird!

12. If One and Five got together, Would One's ex get together with Seven?

If Alice and Emmet got together, would Jasper get together with Edward? I'm guessing no.

13. Create a title for a Four/Nine humor fic.

Carlisle and Jacob... Dr Fang and the werewolf... I dunno

14. Would Five and Eight make a good couple?

Emmet and Bella... No idea probly not

Why do men refuse to stop and ask for directions, and women refuse to
learn how to read maps?
Because Men are stupid and stubborn and Women just cant be bothered.

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Probably not

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
On criminal minds with Amanda/Adam they didnt

Is there another word for synonym?
not that i know of

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Yes, VERY!!

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
The city??

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant?
how would i know if it was in endangered animal or an endangered plant

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
No, it's still a fly.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
both

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
No they just stink!

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Yes unless they are meat flavoured (my friend refuses to eat anything if it is even meat flavoured)

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
Yeah, they have to tell that to everyone.

How do they get the deer to cross at the road sign?
They dont

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Because they can??

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
I dunno but it made me laugh!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Ummm Carlisle Cullen. Was he born before sliced bread?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Because he is fictional DUH

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
um...

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
Some may be a little slow, and haven't figured it out yet.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad
girls live.
hahahaha

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
HUH??

It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the place has
deteriorated.
I agree.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
LOL!

If psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still
working?
Beause they are so not real physics (like Alice lol)

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor since you can't drink
and drive?
To prove that you're old enough.

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations, when smoking is prohibited
there?
Because people used to smoke in there??

Do you need to use a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
No, a regular gun will work just fine.

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?
Probably drives his snowplow

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on
the doors?
because of robbers

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
No

If you are in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light, what happens
when you turn on the headlights?
nothing

Most packages say "open here"; What is the correct protocol to use if a
package says "open somewhere else?"
Open it anywhere else; except the place that says that.

Why are there braille instructions on drive-in Automatic Teller
Machines?
Because a man made that sign

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Why is greenland all cold and icy while iceland is all warm and green?

Why do our noses run, and our feet smell?
Because people wanted to confuse us!

Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
i would not know

Why are there floatation devices under airline seats instead of
parachutes?
No idea

Why does Minute Rice require FIVE minutes to cook?
Good advertising.or maybe they ment to put minuets

How good can a bedtime story be if it's supposed to put you to sleep?
The point is that it should help you get to sleep faster.

If winners never quit, then why are you supposed to quit when you're
ahead?
Its a figure of speech; If your first in a race and dissing all the people behind you, then you'll end up loosing.

If ghosts go through walls, why don't they fall through the floor?
Because they levitate, duh.

When you feel down, why do people ask you what's up?
What are you supposed to ask??

In horse racing, why do they award the rider and not the horse?
Because if it was up to the horse, they'd have killed the rider at the beginning.

If insects are so obsessed with bright lights, then why don't they
fly off to the sun?
Its A LOT farther away than the local lampost

How are children supposed to take medicine when it's meant to be kept
out of their reach?
Dunno

If you sneeze on your computer, would it get a virus?
No, different viruses.

Why do we close doors and windows to reduce noise, considering sound
travels better through solids?
I didnt even know that

Why does 'a fat chance' and 'a slim chance' mean the same thing?
Fat chance is sarcastic.

Why do we hang our clothes on a washing line instead of a drying line?
Because they just got done being washed, I guess.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Dunno

If dawn breaks, does dusk come back together?

lol

Why does 'dyslexia' have to be so hard to spell?
why does lisp have an s in it??

If you try to fail, and succeed, what have you done?
Failed

If sour cream expires, is it then 'sweet cream'?
No, then it's just gross.

If superman can stop bullets with his chest, why does he duck when a
gun is thrown at him?
Because he is dumb

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
no

Why do you push harder on the remote when you know the battery is dead?
Some people are just trying to revive the battery, cuz its too damn hard to get to a shop

If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner have to drown also?
Nope, they would help the person duh!

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Among the stars.

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon
called a yellow?
Because that would confuse the less intellegent of out kind.

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
No but it would be seriously funny!

How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but
just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How would I know?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?
Because that would be mean.And funny

If people on psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call
you first?
maybe they are waiting for you to call them

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
BLUE CRAP

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
NO,they do not flammable means it can catch on fire and Inflammable means it will not catch on fire :)

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, and a racecar
driver is not called a racist?
Because Racist has a differnt meaning

Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
because they are retards

What is the speed of dark?
the world may never know...

If you dream of your death, what happens?
you dream your death. nothing happens really

When you reach for the stars, and were successful, what do you reach
for next?

what ever the hell you feel like. oh wait, you would be dead if you got anywhere near a star you would die

Wouldn't it be awkward for Shasrpay and Ryan from High School Musical in a romantic play like Romeo and Juliette?

I got a Jackson Rathbone poster sighs

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Ok so pick a playlist on your i-pod and that is the answer for that question:

Warning: Results can be freaky, wrong, or just plain weird.

1. How does the world see me?

It's a war- Dukes of Winsor

2. Will I have a happy life?

Bad case of lovin you- Robert Palmer

3. How do people see me?

Heaven 911 Remix- DJ Sammy (They see me as a reminder of the twin tower bomings??)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

I'm too sexy- Right said Fred (LOL as if!)

5. How can I make others happy?

Glamorous- Fergie

6. How can I make myself happy?

Don't Cha- Pussy Cat Dolls (??)

7. What should I do with my life?

Love is all around- Ricky Lee

8. Will I ever have children?

Stole- Kelly Rowland (They will get stolen??)

9. What is some good advice for me?

love Song-Sara Bareilles (That is hard to spell!)

10. What do I think my current theme song is?

Princess- Short Stack

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Hey there Delilah- Plain White T's

12. What song will play at my funeral?

Cupids Chokehold_ Gym Class Heroes

13. What type of men do you like?

Walkin on Sunshine- Katrina and the waves

14. What is my day going to be like?

love Story- Taylor Swift

15. Why am I here?

Witch Doctor- Alvin and the Chipmonks

16. What will people remember me for?

You belong with me- Taylor Swift

17. What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?

Don't Trust me- 3oh!3 (This actually did happen!)

18. Are there people outside waiting to take me away?

Like it loud- Cassie Davis

19. What will this year be all about?

keeps Getting Better- Christina Aguilera

20 - If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:

Differently- Cassie Davis

21 - The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:

Ever Ever After- Carrie Underwood

22 - Your message to the world:

Just Dance- Lady Ga Ga

23 - Your deepest secret:

Let me Entertain you- Robbie Williams

24 - Your innermost desire:

Forever Young- Alphaville (Yeah as a vampire (Jokes))

25 - Your oldest memory makes you think:

Accidentally in love- Counting Crows

26 - Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:

Candyman- Christina Agulera (lol)

27 - When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:

We Will rock you- Queen

28 - Right now, your feelings are:

Lean on me- MIchael Buble

29 - The day you fall in love will be the day that:

Grace Kelly- Mika

30- You’d describe you best friend as:

Jizz in my pants- The Lonely Island (LOL what the hell!!)

31- Your friends describe you as:

You cant touch this- MC hammer

32- In a Lift you are most likely to:

Dont want to miss a thing- Aerosmith (what can you miss in a lift??)

33- Your philosophy in life is:

SOS- Jonas Brothers

34 - Your farewell message to the readers of this:

Aint no other man- Christina Agulera (LOL)

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading. 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up. 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

Stupid Warnings:

This is a list of all the stupid warnings on the products most of us use daily.

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Not to be used in Children
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

16. On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

17. On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

18. On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

19. On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

20. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

21. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

22. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

23. On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

24. On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

25. On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

26. On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

27. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

28. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

29. On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

30. On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you
(Great go ahead and ruin a childs hopes and dreams)

List Twelve fictional characters from the same TV show.

1. Bones/ Dr Brennan

2. Booth

3. Angela

4. Parker

5.Cam

6. Zach

7.Sweets

8. Max

9.Hodgins

10. Rebecca

11. Daisy

12. Goodman

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Zach/Daisy no

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Parker Cute but not hot he is only a little boy!

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Goodman and Max It isnt even possible unless Max had a sex changes ages ago.

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Hodgins of course!

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Booth and Zach NO NO NO NO now I am gonna have nightmares!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Cam/Hodgins or Cam/Rebecca easily Cam/hodgins (Even though I want Hodgins to be with Angela)

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?

If Sweets walked in on Booth and Goodman in an awkward situation he would probably try and figure out why they are attracted to each other and try to solve their problems.

8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.

NOT ROMANTIC MORE LIKE HURT/COMFORT! Rebecca goes to the lab to find Booth because something happened to parker but he is out and they cant find him so Angela helps her. Lame I know.

9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?

Bones nad Max Probably like family Fluff not romantic fluff!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

I have no Idea ummmm Goodman goes to the (I cant remember what they are called...) physactrist??(Whatever Sweets is anyway)

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?

Bones and Parker Sorry but I believe Bones is not a pedophile!

12. If One and Five got together, Would One's ex get together with Seven?

if Bones and Cam got together would Bones Ex get with Sweets? Does Bones even have an ex??

13. Create a title for a Four/Nine humor fic.

Parker Booth ultimate bug racer.

14. Would Five and Eight make a good couple?

In a weird twisted way mabey.

Awesome pairings:

Angela/Seth (It is seriously cute!) (Twilight)
Rosalie/Emmett (Twilight)
Alice/Jasper (Twilight)
Carlisle/Esme (Twilight)
Bones/Booth (Bones)
Angela/Hodgins (Bones)
Daisy/Blane (MIhigh)
Sarah/Elliot (Cheaper by the dozen)
Morgan/Prentiss (Criminal Minds)
Abbey/McGee (NCIS)
Castle/Beckett (Castle)
Jim/Trixie (Trixie Bleden)
Honey/Brian (Trixie Belden)
Ashley Greene/Jackson Rathbone (They would make such a cute couple!) (Real life)
Quil/Claire (Twilight)

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

50 Things Not to Do at Hogwarts(winkwink)

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. (But a lead is ok??)

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. (Joke shops are better)

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. (But thats all the fun)

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldey senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class sky clad. (HUH)

31) I will not use Umbridge's detention to write, "Told you I was Hard Core." (lol)

32) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on his or her arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every Potions class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as body lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasley twins "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. (:'( now I need a new costume)

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

List Your Twelve Harry Potter Characters:

1) Hermione Granger

2) Harry Potter

3) Ron Weasely

4) Fred Weasely

5) Gorge Weasely

6) Albus Dumbldore

7) Sirius Black

8) Voldemort/ Tom Riddle

9) Professor McGonaggle

10) Professor Snpe

11) Rubius Hagrid

12) Draco Malfoy

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Dumbledore and Hagrid no.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Nah not really but seriously funny!

3. What would happen if Twelve and Eight got pregnant?

A whole lotta destruction and ugliness!

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?

nope

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

NO NO NO I am gonna have nightmares now!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Five/Nine atlease George wouldnt be gay then!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

He would think Harry is under a curse and try to kill Malfoy(like we all want)

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

This is not romance!! Ron is playing up in class so Snape punishes him??

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

NO! At least I hope!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve romance fic.

Siruis turns gay (Malfoy already is) and he falls in love with Malfoy.

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

I wouldnt want that!

12. Does anyone on your friends list read Three?

Probably

13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Not that I know

14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

15. What might ten scream at a great moment of passion?

Fifty points from Griffindore!

16. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Back in black??

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Warning EXTREME violence!

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Eleven to use on Two?

He doesnt need a line if he says something would you not do it?? He could be F-in Scary if he wanted to!

Harry:
Awesome guy but seriously dumb sometimes I mean come on we can see half the stufff coming from a mile away and he still walks right into the trap. Also he married Ginny another instance of stupidity he should have gotten together with Hermione. So much bad stuff has happened to him that you can't help but feel sorry for him.

Hermione:
I still like her even though she is seriously bossy and a know it all that only thing she doesnt know thoough would be that she should have been with Harry not Ron! Harry and Ron were lucky to have her a a friend because she saved their asses just as much as Harry saved Hers and Rons with half of the credit.

Ron:
I dont hate Ron as much as most other people I still think he is a good character but he needs an attitude change. He is a selfish git but so are many other people in real life and we dont hate them nearly as much. If he was smart he wouldnt have gotten together with Hermione he would have been with Luna. Weird I know but it is what I think. I also hate reading storys where Ron is even worse than he is in the books.

Dumbledore:
He may have had a lack of judgment in not protecting Harry from the Dursleys neglect but he is a great guy. I really dont like J.K Roling from making him an almost bad guy in the last book. Also making him gay was stupid I am not homofobic at all but it is just wrong. I may think he made a bad decision to send Harry to live with the Dursleys but I hate reading storys that make Dumbldore a bad guy, like he manipulated Harrys life to make him live a slave or whatever.

Fred and George:
I am making these two in the same one because they are pretty much only one character. They are awesome even when one of them have lost an ear they are laughing and trying to make a joke about it. They are like the Maruders of Harrys time just without the invisibility cape and the abitlity to turn into an animal.

Ginny:
I dont know what to say about Ginny. She is ok I guess but like lots of other it seems like her character just wnted to marry Harry because of his money and his fame. Her and Neville would be a good pariing and I have started to not haste when people pair her with Malfoy.

Hagrid:
He is awesome slightly oblivious and like really scary creatures way to much but other than that awesome.

Snape:
I dont like him and the last book didnt change that at all. He was still a slimy little git and he was in love with Harrys mum... Three words WHAT THE FK

Voldemort:
F-ing Evil ass hole!

Sirius:
His name makes me laugh how can you take him seriously when his name is Sirius. I do like him and I hate how J.K Rowling killed him off! it would have been good for Harry to have family other than the Weasilys. He may have even made Harry realise that Hermione was the one he should have been with not Ginny.

We have a vampire cat, he was trying to bite my kneck this morning! It hurt like Hale

I just finished the Host by Stephanie Meyer! It was awesome!! If you ever get the chance read it and don't worry about the start being confusing it won't take long for you to understand!

10 Ways to know you are addicted to Harry Potter:
1. You have tryed to walk through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 in London station
2. You have tryed to make yourself a wand
3. You pretend your wand works.
4. You no longer tell people to wash their mouths out with soap you just point at them with your wand and yell scourgify
5. You have travelled all over to try and find Hogwarts.
6. You call everyone else you know muggles.
7. You grab brooms and try to fly.
8. You refuse to wear silver lockets.
9. Everytime you see a short person you try and make them your house elf.
10. You read or write Harry Potter Fan Fiction...