YOZ people. I must admit that I signed up today (Febuary 26, 2009) but I am happy. Check out the authors and stories in my favorites. They are awesome.

Wellz, that's all that I can think of at the moment. Oh, I'm not a fast writer, so please be patient with me.

I just posted my first story and it's been banging around in my head for a while. I have the a lot of the story written out on paper, I just need to type it and post it. I have other ideas for other stories to, so stay tuned. :)

These are some quotes that I have found and rather like...

Love makes people do strange things and hold onto hopes much longer than they should.”

Pride goes before a fall

They say it takes a minute to develop a crush, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, and forever to forget someone. Heck, the last part was sure too.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

51. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

52. Asking, "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?"and then walking away is only funny the first time.

53. The four houses are not the Morons, the Barons, the Smartelics, and the Junior Death Eaters

54. I will not tell Draco and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

55. I will not dress up in a dementor suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to get him to do whatever I want.

56. I will not wear my "DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT" shirt to school.

57. I will not call Professor McGonagall "McGoogles"

58. I will not jump up, yelling "VOLDEMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting.

59. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy place."

60. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

61. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, âœMorsmordreâ is just plain mean.

62. I will not under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

63. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, "We're Off to See the Wizard."

64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

66. I will not use Slytherine and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

67. I will not say "Dude get a life" to Voldemort.

68. I must not point at Voldemort and say "I taught him everything he knows."

69. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

the perfect boyfriend :

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.

The one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

and:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pull's away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

0909090909090909090

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good.

and now for some "if you . . ., copy and paste this"

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i have done this many times in class). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

You know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn’t even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

For people that hate stereotypes:

If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.

bolded ones apply to me

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll..
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTANso I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK, so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED, so I MUST be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON, so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends, so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I HANG OUT with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN, so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m NOT the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN, so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN, so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and/or COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I spot GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I CURSE a lot, so I MUST be a rebel.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

(just so you know, if your in marching band you have a lot of fun and you make loads of friends and have a better chance of getting into college)
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be lesbian.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST have no female friends.
I don't have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular
I am AGRESSIVE, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink
I write FANFICS, so I MUST be a freak

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST have a sterotype.

If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If Nick Jonas said breathing wasn't cool, 95 percent of the girl population would die. Put this in your profile if you would be that five percent that was smart enough to know if you don't die, you can have him all to yourself!

Jonas Brothers
It takes 1 second to love their looks
It takes 1 hour to love their songs
It takes 1 day to fall in love with them
It takes 1 lifetime to forget them

I pledge to make peace
Between Jonas Brothers
Haters and Fans,
And be part of the
Solution-not the problem

We live in a world
Where people pretend
That they are true fans
Well, this needs to be put to an end.
They fake like they know them
When in reality, they know squat
They act like they love them
Well, this acting has to stop!
They only notice their looks
Instead of what is deep inside
They never notice their music
And us real fans know it, those fake ones can't hide.
They don't know any songs
And they can't sing along, well that's not right
Whether it is Mandy, S.O.S, or Seven O Five.
They rate them for the wrong reasons
On scales of one to ten
Always picking Nick and Joe
But never Kevin.
He know he's treated differently
That much is true
Well, fake fans don't care
I sure care, do you?
They buy up all the tickets
Just so they can see their asses
Well, our boys can see through them
Those fake fans need some glasses!
They get to meet them before us,
The true fans in the stands
They just want to date them
Just like all the other bands.
Sure they might be pretty
And sure they might be smart
But their insecurity won't ever get
Their faces implanted on their hearts.
They will always go for us,
The real and the true
I am not a fake fan, but the question is...
Are you?
If you love and support these boys
You'll put this on your site
And always listen to their songs
And love them for reasons that are right.
Look past the faces
And dig deeper within
And discover the true beauty

If you love the Jonas Brothers post this in your profile.

I'M SORRY
That you think the Jonas Brothers are gay
and only because they don't talk about hooking
up with girls in their music.

I'M SORRY
That you think they are pansies,
and only because they aren't cussing
at us through their music.

I'M SORRY
That you joke at me for being in love with them
and only because you don't know them,
and haven't given them a chance.

I'M SORRY
That they call girls beautiful instead of sexy,
so you think that they are wussies
and only because you don't have the guts to
call us beautiful instead, too.

I'M SORRY
That you think their music sucks
and only because they aren't talking about
getting drunk or high.

And most of all I'M SORRY
That you haven't even given them a chance.
You haven't even listened to their music.

And you haven't even thought about the fact that
girls LOVE when guys act like the Jonas Brothers do,
Ya know? Kind, Polite and Like Gentleman. PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE

The Jonas Brothers are a great band with excellent morals and beliefs. There are so many people who are constantly putting them down and all I gotta ask is... why? Because they don't sing about (or take) drugs? Because they don't drink? Because all of them are still virgins? Oh yeah... those are awesome reasons to hate someone. Just because their music is wholesome and appropriate for everyone doesn't mean they're gay or whatever. And no one has the right to call them that. Actually, more people should look up to them and emulate them.

I know what most guys are probably thinking right now... "Why would we want to be like some fags?" Well... because they're true gentlemen... the type of guy every girl wants to be with. So... take the time to call a girl beautiful instead of sexy, hold a door open for her, buy her flowers, go out of your way to show her how much she means to you... just like the guys who mean so much to me... and countless others as well.

Please repost this on your profile if you feel the same way and help me to spread the Jonas love! (And if it helps create a few gentlemen in the process, I say... Good! The world could use a few more.)

--Boys are like trees-- they take fifty years to grow up. --Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

--Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

--I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

--When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

--They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

--We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

--Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" And then it hits me.

--Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

--Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly

--You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

--You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

--Multiply it by infinity, take it to the depths of forever and you'll still only have a glimpse of how much I love you.

“You can only hate someone whom you have the capacity to love, because if you are really indifferent, you cannot even get up enough energy to hate him.”

Love is like a game
If you fall in love you lose…
So why bother winning ?

Life brings tears, smiles, and memories…
The tears dry, the smiles fade, but the memories last forever
Beauty is within the heart, it’s hard to find but impossible to forget.

to live be to die. To die is to live. They know they’re going to die, yet they still try to sing. Why?

Once in awhile.

Right in the middle of ordinary life.

Love gives us a fairy tale.

“ Non-ama-solis”

At Dominos they sell doorknobs and lampshades. Duh, who sells pizza at a pizza place?

“ One day I’ll fly away
To a place better suited for me
To a beautiful place filled with laughter and love.
That is where I truly belong."

You’re only conceited when you love yourself and there’s no reason, but I love myself because everyone else does, too.

yeah I’m a loser, but the coolest loser you’ll ever meet.

Hold your head high. Gorgeous, There are people that would kill to see you fall.

People change, and promises are broken
Clouds can move, and skies will be wide open
Don’t forget to take a breath

RUMORS bring a lot of trouble.
RUMORS start up fights.
RUMORS are evil.
RUMORS should never be listened or read about.
RUMORS can be harsh/mean/ childish.
RUMORS could also sometimes ruin the best things in life.
RUMORS were the start and source of this whole drama.
Then again, without RUMORS life would be boring!
From Celebrities to regular people

Cheaters never prosper. Well, nine out of ten don’t. But if you are that one, more power to you.

Curiosity killed the cat, but knowledge brought it back

The pain you cause me, only makes me stronger.
The heartbreak you cause me, only makes me love more.

be yourself

the only thing we fear when we look upon darkness is the unknown.

I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter

Joe Jonas is my heart, my soul, my everything.

a good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE GAY, ISN’T IT?

I’M OFF TO SEE HARRY POTTER THE SPUNKIEST WIZARD OF ALL.

- SUICIDE: a permanent solution to a temporary problem

a good friend is cheaper than therapy

"Stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don't like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position."

-Stephen King on writing.

You know what I just realized, I AM FREAKING AWESOME!!

and now more quotes...

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through."

"If you love something, let it go. If it was meant to be, it will come back to you."
Susannah Simon, The Mediator

'Don't ever frown because you never know who might be in love with your smile.'

'The hardest part of dreaming
about someone you love is having to wake up.'

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." Anonymous

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

"DOOMED! They're all doomed. Notice I didn't say what kind of doom it was, so whatever happens to them, I will
have predicted it. How very wise of me"
-Angela, Eragon

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.

Guy: then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now please slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gives him a big hug)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your

"Everyone is going to hurt you, you have to decide who's worth the pain."

" I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

'So here's to teenage romances and never knowing why they hurt like hell'

'If you leave, don’t look back.'

"She said, 'Lie to me'. He said, 'I love you.'

'Some Day You'll Cry For Me Like I Cried For You,
Some Day You'll Miss Me Like I Missed You,
Some Day You'll Need Me Like I Needed You,
Some Day You'll Love Me But I Won't Love You'

'Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving
someone if your heart still does.'

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love - Charlie Brown

'If you want something with all your heart,

the entire universe will conspire for you to get it'

–Om Prakash, ‘Om Shanti Om’

'I keep telling myself that I don't miss you,
and that I don't love you,
hoping someday I'll believe it.'

"Don't argue with an idiot, they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

09090909090909090

the person who made these up cracks me up:

How come when you have a fever, you have a COLD? Shouldn't you have a HOT?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker?"
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why is there Brail on the drive up ATM machine??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do we park in the "driveway" and drive on the "park way?"

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal?"

these are from Avery Malfoy's profile (also a good author).

Why its good to be a Women!

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Some Randomness

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...

On a Sears’s hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:.. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...And you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And ... I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? You would think this had to happen a lot for them to mention it, right?)

Quotes (If I know where they are from, I will put it and I will put why I like it...)

-I lay dying and pouring crimson regret and betrayl. -Evanescence-Tourniquet

-If tylenol, duct tape, or band-aids cant fix it. You have a SERIOUS PROBLEM!

-The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade in what the want most for what the want at the moment.

-Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest, it's about those who never left your side when times got rough and when everyone else was mad at you.

-IF you were to die right now would you be 100 percent sure of where you were going?

-I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have.

-I'm so impressed you fit a pony into my room! -Veronica Mars

-Lilly: Don't you watch any horror movies? My soul is doomed to walk the earth until justice has been served...
Veronica: Really?
Lilly: Yeah that, and as kind of a side project, I dispense fashion advice. -Veronica Mars

-It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live. -Harry Potter

-What hurts the most, Was being so close. -Rascal Flatts-What hurts the most

-I'm not okay, so stop asking.

-Love is the slowest form of suicide.

-Tears are feelings we can't say.

-Did you know I'm invisiable, but only when noone is around.

-Sick of trying, tired of crying... Yeah I'm smiling, but inside... I'm dying.

-See the truth is, you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath, I would apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

-Maybe she just to scared to get close to anyone, because everyone who said "I'll be there" left.

-You think you know, but you have no fucking idea!

-The Prince: You told me it was a matter of life or death

DaVinci: A women always is. -Ever after

-Beauty is over rated if it washes off in the rain.

-Veronica: Meg's pregnant.
Duncan: I know.
Veronica: You know?
Duncan: There was a letter, from her aunt. I guess Meg had asked to live up there and raise the baby.
Veronica: Oh my God, Duncan, how could you...
Duncan: Last spring, before we broke up...
Veronica: OK, stop, I was shown a diagram once, I know how it works. But you knew, and you didn't tell me?
Duncan: This has nothing to do with us.
Veronica: Oh, no! Nothing. Your secret illegitimate child gestating in the womb of your comatose ex-girlfriend affects neither you nor me -Veronica Mars

-No, I dont like you, I just stare at you all day for no reason.

-You asked what's wrong, I smiled and said nothing, then turned around and whispered everything.

-I have fought my way here to the castle, beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen. My will is as strong as yours, my kingdom as great. You have no power over me. -Labyrinth

-I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave. -Labyrinth

-It is just a crystal, but if you turn it this way and look into it, you will see all your dreams. -Labyrinth

Very Unimportant, but funny nonetheless

1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)

2. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

3. The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet. (OMG!)

4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig!)

5. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

6. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

7. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.("Honey, I'm home. What the...!")

8. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

9. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

10. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

11. Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

12. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm...)

13. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

14. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (okay, so that would be a good thing)

15. A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

16. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

17. Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too!)

18. Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live longer)

19. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig!)

REMEMBER WHEN ...

getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do

WAS GROW UP?

-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-

You may delay, but Time will not. — Benjamin Franklin

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life. — Winston Churchill

You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. — Mae West

War does not determine who is right – only who is left. — George Bernard Shaw

Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. — Arthur C. Clarke

Too much of a good thing is wonderful. — Mae West

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov

There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. — Bill Hicks

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence. — Jeremy S. Anderson

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. — Oscar Wilde

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. — James Branch Cabell

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. — Edmund Burke

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny…’ — Isaac Asimov

Stupidity, if left untreated, is self-correcting. — Heinlein

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. — Oscar Wilde

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. — Fletcher Knebel

Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. — Joss Whedon

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. — Evelyn Waugh

Programmers never die. They just become legacy. — epsilona01

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime. — Michael Sinz

Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it. — Richard Feynman

Patience has its limits – take it too far and its cowardice. — George Jackson

Never waste a lie when the truth will do. — Jack Clancy

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. — Isaac Asimov

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. — Woody Allen

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. ‘No’ is the answer. — Erik Naggum

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction. — Blaise Pascal

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. — Lord Dunsany

Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life. — George Burns

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome. — Isaac Asimov

Life is a sexually transmitted disease — R. D. Laing

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. — Woody Allen

It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required. — Winston Churchill

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. — Albert Einstein

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. — Rita Mae Brown

In mathematics you don’t understand things. You just get used to them. — Johann von Neumann

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. — Charles, Count Talleyrand

If I misbehave and nobody sees me, that’s one less lie I’ll have to tell later. — Dave Dunseath

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. — Peter Kaye

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming. — Jimmy Carter

I intend to live forever, or die trying. — Groucho Marx

I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough? — Tom Clancy

I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account. — Conan O’Brien

I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. — Groucho Marx

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out. — Bill Hicks

I can resist everything except temptation. — Oscar Wilde

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. — Pablo Picasso

Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand. — Confucius

Great thinkers have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. — Thomas Jones

For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong. — H.L. Mencken

First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure. — Mark Twain

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. — Henry Ford

Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes. — Oscar Wilde

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. — Leo Tolstoy

Everybody has a plan, ’till they get hit. — Mike Tyson

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. — Pablo Picasso

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. — Kin Hubbard

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute. — George Bernard Shaw

Any fool can know. The point is to understand. — Albert Einstein

A witty saying proves nothing. — Voltaire

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. — Joseph Stalin

A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience. — Doug Larson

A generation which ignores history has no past – and no future. — Robert A. Heinlein

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. — Emo Philips

these are from www.vegard.net (the ones above this line --> _)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

By the way, anything by my favorite authors is very good. I recommend debjunk and the story The Baby Project by t.maria.2007