Hey, Im Amelia Gherardelli (Italian)

I found this site about 6 months ago but spent 5 months just reading (sorry to all the people whos storys I read but didnt review) and Im now trying to write a Stravaganza story :)

Fave books : harry potter (who doesnt like these?), Inkworld trilogy, Inheritance series, Stravaganza, Power of 5, Princess Diaries, all things Jodi Picoult, Dick Francis, Dark Material series, and those books with Takeo and Kaede and Shigeru (does anyone know what thats called??)

Fave people : Luna (harry potter), Neville (Harry Potter), All marauder time period people, Luciano & Arianna & Rodolfo (Stravaganza), Roran & Katrina & Brom (Inheritance), Dustfinger & Roxane & Black Prince (Inkworld), Matt & Pedro & Scott & Richard (Power of 5), Michael and Lily (Princess Diaries), too many Jodi Picoult books to say, same with Dick Francis, Lea Scoursby & Pan (Dark Material), Shigeru & Kenji & Yuki (Unknown).

I dont like oneshots very much (some are amazing though) and I hate these pairings : Harry Potter anything but they should be (except if it's Sirius, who can be with anyone), Stravaganza proper pairings, Same with Inkworld (down with Farid!!), and Princess Diaries...

Im living in Chile, South America right now and Im learning Spanish.

Thanks to all the people who have helped me get through the sad times with thier storys :D

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon)

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Just to tell you, if you have read every word so far it means that you definently ARE crazy or weird, and you should DEFINENTLY put at least those ones on your profile. (Supposing you have one).

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skipdown the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. You didn't, and continue to not, notice the missing 4, 8, 13, and 16 on the list.

21. And you've just scrolled up to check.

22. And are now smiling to yourself :)

Meals (Sisters nickname for me, meals4641 is a friend joke, doesnt everyone love Joey??)