Name: Jenn

Age: 16 (Birthday December 20th! 17 is is close...)

Twitter username: Desolate_Jenn (or type in the name: Instigator...shh I'm in hiding)

Favorite Saying (right now): Do not disturb...I'm disturbed enough.

Favorite Music (at the moment): Evanescence, Hollywood Undead, and Escape the Fate

GUESS WHAT!! I won the Fanfiction "Missing Scene" contest in third place! Yay! I got a t-shirt! LOL My winning story is called "More Than My Own Life"

THIS JUST IN! MangoTango450 and I have started another account. We are TheGoodGirlMasquerade. We also have a new story in that account, just...follow the cookie crumbs. The title is liable to change so don't go looking for it. Look for the author instead.

Best friend: Mangotango450 (Aidan)
New friends: Infinitypoet (Crystal), oh HALE no, JasperSAYSrelax128 (Jennifer...and twin), Paige1133, sillybookworm (Yichen), Jules96 (Julie), Tori (Jules' creepy, but totally awesome neighbor!), SophieRosalieHale (Sophie), Moe, Courtney, Destynee_Cullen (Destynee), Destinee_Cullen (Destinee), the list keeps growing!

Team Foster's Home for Imaginary Kids! Whoo! secretive

I deleted all my personal super long rantings and other stuff you don't care about so instead, I will be posting poems (famous or otherwise) I really like...or maybe not :)

My stories to be written

Fairytale Ending--smiles
All human. Bella and Edward have been best friends since kindegarten. He's there for her when she needs him, but is she there for him? She's the only one that doesn't notice the look in his eye when he stares at her, that all his songs have been inspired by her. How does she react when he tells her?
(If you like stories where the best friend turns out to be your true love then you'll love this.)
Completed and ready for posting.

Respect the Unexpected--laughter
Alice is never taken by surprise. Everyone knows that's impossible until Emmett gets an idea from Victoria. Don't plan it and she can't see it. What kind of things can he get away with before it becomes a war?
Still in progress.

My Lost Hope--not really sure, but I think you'll be happy...eventually
Takes place during New Moon. Bella goes back to the Cullen's house after she realizes she's forgetting him. She finds a paper with an address on it. Could this be her ticket to finding Edward? Or will it lead her to more disappointment?
Almost completed. (chapters already posted) (revisions being made)

Glass of Water--tears
Edward told Bella in Twilight that it proved he loved her more because he could leave her. He claims Bella will never have to make that choice. Well, what if she did? What if it was Edward's life in danger? Could she leave him? Would he let her? Jacksonville never looked so dismal and hopeless. Some people see the glass half empty, others half full, but some things can't be judged by a simple glass of water because when you look at it, it's just a glass of water.
Completed and ready for posting.

Empty Glass (sequel to Glass of Water)--major angst, don't count on the rainbow at the end of the storm
What is death? Death is losing something close to you whether it be a part of yourself, a friend, a past life, or a memory; all equally painful in their own way. But how painful can death be if you don't remember life? How painful can it be if you want death? If you crave for it to come and take you away from the miseries of life, how painful can it really be?
Rapid progress, plot already decided.

Gotta love randomness!

I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

“I am sick of people having a near death experiences and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

~Facts~Of~Life~

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!

Stuff I thought was funny!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is Carlisle, screw the fruit!

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand vodka.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmellows and flirting with the firemen.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced...I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

The holy words of twilight

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

Okay People

Almost every girl in the 13-17 age range absolutely loves Edward Cullen, and almost every girl wants an Edward Cullen of her own. So for all you guys out there...

How To Be An Edward Cullen

1. Wear Sparkly Body Lotion.

2. Dye Your Hair Strange Colours In The Following Shades Of Brown, Bronze & Gold.

3. Gel It In A Strange Form, With Random Bits & Pieces Sticking Out Everywhere.

4. Buy Gold, Amber, Dark Brown, Emerald, Topaz & Black Contact Lenses & Change It Regularly.

5. Stalk The Girl You Like.

6. Climb Up Her Bedroom Window(Don't Forget To Bring Oil, Just Incase It Jams) While She Sleeps.

7. Get A Perverted SatisfactionIf/When She Says Your Name In Her Sleep.

8. Have Strange Mood Swings (Or Be Bipolar whichever is easier for you)

9. Be Impossibly Protective Of Her.

10. Tell Her You're A Killer, But You Can't Stay Away From Her.

11. Tell Her She Is Like An Illegal SubstanceTo You, Preferrably Something Like Heroin, Which Dulls The Senses And Intoxicates The Body With Poison. (She'll Love That)

12. Make Her Faint When You Kiss Her.

13. Look At Her In A Way She Gets Temporary Amnesia.

14. Drive Like A Maniac.

15. Dump Her. (It's For The Best) Then Go Commit Suicide Whenever She Tries To Do Any Recreational Sports (God Forbid She Play Ping Pong)

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! Copy and paste this if you have ever wondered the same thing.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the libary, and listning to them over and over again. Crazy is when you dont say a thing about yourself in your fanfiction bio but insted yell random things that make you lafe. Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you laugh about how Edward Cullen thinks Bella is DEAD in New Moon, even though it's a very serious matter, and your sister hears you and asks why you're laughing so loud and you tell her and she just cries about it because she thinks it's sad. Crazy is when you headbang to a slow song, or become odsessed with the song "Let it Die" by Three Days Grace because it reminds you of Edward Cullen for some odd reason. Crazy is naming your winter jacket Mr. Puffy and your best friend naming hers Mrs. Puffy and letting them marry for the winter. Then at the end of the winter, they both retire and divorce each other. Crazy is when you are taking a math test and go over on ur scrap sheet of paper to work out the problem, and start drawing spirals until the teacher goes five minutes left! Crazy is having a major arguement with your friend...and i mean major...its still going on and it has already been a year...about which one is better: pudding or jello. Crazy is when you start laughing until you butt falls off for no apparent reason and your mom comes in the room and goes like, "What the hell is going on?" Crazy is if you suddenly yell, 'PARTY IN MY TUMMY!' and everyone stares at you in Pre-Algebra class. For me, Crazy is looking at your friend and suddenly have both friends rolling on the floor unable to breathe just because the other smiled. For me, Crazy is walking up to people in stores and dancing like Mike (in Twilight). For me, Crazy is crying over a plant that died on a movie. For me, Crazy is crying when you see the bottom of the Ben & Jerry's container. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!