Fact File:

Name: Martha J. Brown
Age: 14
Location: UK
Birthday: 12th June
Favourite Colour: White (I am aware that's fairly bizarre but I do just love that colour - It's just so clean and clear and refreshing :L !)

About Me

I am a massive bookworm. I love every kind of book as long as it's not some weird murder mystery that's really quite creepy. I don't like books that scare me :L I would probably say my favourite series or set of books are the Harry Potter books, I also love The Twilight Saga, Vampire Beach, Morganville Vamps and The Chaos Walking Trilogy. Hummmmmmm, not really sure what else to say now. I don't just read of course, I also compete in swimming, I'm on the school teams for Football (Soccer), Rounders (Similar to baseball I think), Hockey, Badminton, Netball and Basketball. I'm also musical, I ply Clarinet, I sing and I'm in the process of learning the piano.

My Stories

So far I've only written 1 story for FF as technically the rest are poems. I have translated the story into French but if you are French or if you are going to recommend it to a French person please be aware that it is translated by hand so may be slightly off :S Everything I've written so far is set during New Moon from either Edward's pov or Bella's, always despairing. If you're not into doom and gloom then it's probably not best to read my writing. Even though I've never written for any other category than Twilight it's mainly because I'm actually quite bad at thinking up plots. If anybody likes my style of writing and has a good plot but can't write it then feel free to PM me and I'll see if I like it :) Oh, and one last thing: please, if you don't like what you read then don't send me flames. I'm all for constructive criticism or compliments but if you're just going to insult me don't bother -There, I've said my piece so now go ahead and read or don't read :) Thanks

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~

23 Reasons Why I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me: IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me:CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me: WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me:HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me: ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

18. My mother taught me: HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

19. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

20.My Mother taught me: GENETICS
"I swear you're just like your father."

21.My Mother taught me: ABOUT MY ROOTS
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

22.My Mother taught me: WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

23. And my favorite: My mother taught me: JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

National Sarcasm Society - We need you support! Be sarcastic today and help out the NSS!

Angry people need hugs...or sharp objects...

Fruit loops are like gay cheerios!!

Stupid sign: Caution water on road when raining (I ask my self who came up with that genius conclusion?)

Justin Bieber: defining gay since 2009

YOU! OFF MY PLANET!

Why does nobody ever use the olive crayon...poor crayon!

I see dumb people reading this

WARNING! Do not read this phrase! (You did didn't you!!)

Mirrors don't talk. Lucky for you they don't laugh either!

A black cat crossing your path signifies...that the animal is going somewhere

I speak sarcasm as a second language

Vampires prefer brunnettes which I am! (Ok, so that's not strictly sarcastic but oh well!!)

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is definitely not for you!

Copy this onto your profile if:

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever wanted to kill one of your best friends because they don't like the Twilight Saga/Twilight/NewMoon/Eclipse/BreakingDawn/StephMeyer copy and paste this onto your profile!

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Love vs Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer then she had planned, and had to walk home alone. she wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe fromharm and danger. when she reached an alley, which was a shortcut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security rapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could've been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safty and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could reconize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer had thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they could ask the man one question. Diane was curious to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe it or not, you're never alone.

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truely believe in God...Yes there are many people in the world. But God walks beside you always.

I'm a Christian and Proud! You don't have to be one either to believe in God!

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." (Who else imagines Edward doing this in New Moon?)

The Stupid Test

Go throgh all these and put them on your profile. If any of them apply to you then put a little cross in them. If you get 18 or more you're reallllyyyy stupid, if not then you're fine!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
( ) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
(x) You have ran into a glass/screen door.
( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
( ) You have ran into a tree.
( ) It IS possible to lick your elbow
( ) You just tried to lick your elbow.
( ) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
( ) You just tried to sing them.
(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
( ) You have choked on your own spit.

( ) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
(x) You just looked at it.
( ) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.
( ) People have called you slow.
( ) You have accidentally caught something on fire.
(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
( ) You have caught yourself drooling.
(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class
( ) If someone says “fart”, you laugh.
( ) You just laughed.
( ) Sometimes you just stop thinking .
(x) You tell a story, and forget what you were talking about halfway through.
( ) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you.
(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
( ) You use your fingers to do simple math.

( ) You have eaten a bug (but not swallowed it!)
(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.
(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it.
(x) You’ve looked all over for something, and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.
( ) You sometimes repost chain mails because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
(x) You break a lot of things.
( ) Your friends know not to use big words around you.
(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused.
( ) You have fallen out of your chair before.
(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.