| kimpy0464 |
Author has written 27 stories for Twilight. WHO AM I? I'm fun-sized! I'm a 5' tall, hyper little thing with a snarky mouth. People hear me, then look around and can't imagine that whatever it is I said actually came from my mouth. I swear like a fiend and could make sailors blush. I'd apologize for that, except that I'm not really sorry. I am who I am. :) In RL, I'm a wife, mom of a 17 YO son, and a night nurse in the Pediatric ICU who just happens to have a really mean case of OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder, that is). I have a Master's in Public Health, nearly finished my Master's in Nursing, 2/3 of my Master's in International Management, and I do data analysis and research for the PICU. I am also someone who, historically, preferred to read non-fiction; the only fiction I've really gotten into is Harry Potter and Twilight, but I'm expanding my horizons. Lolashoes and Bsmog encouraged me to read Water for Elephants, and I devoured the Hunger Games trilogy. At the present, Cesca Marie is fully responsible for my Outlander obsession; James Fraser is a very close second to Edward Cullen. TWILIGHT=CRACK It all started innocently enough...my gay best friend wanted me to read Twilight before going to see the movie together. He literally forced me to read it. I gave him 15 minutes, certain that I would hate it after 5. Much to my chagrin, I inhaled the story, losing the ability to focus on anything else for the next 24 hours. I then ran to Barnes and Noble and purchased the entire series. I read through it like a maniac. When I got to the end, I decided to re-read it, thinking I could "savor" it the second time around. By about the 10th time through the series, I started to crave more adventures for the Bella and Edward for whom I had so much love. On Stephenie Meyer's website, she had links for "Twilight Fan Fiction," so I checked it out for shits and giggles. Turns out, there were people who wrote about and filled in the "fade to black" details of Twilight that had left me feeling so cheated in the original. The universe truly expanded once I figured that out. As they say, the rest is history. While I never thought I would venture into AU/AH, all it took was one good fanfic, and I was hooked. That's pretty much all I read these days. TEAM EDWARD ALL THE WAY Although Jake is a nice enough guy on his own--he's a great best friend, or gay best friend--there has never been any doubt in my mind that Edward is the schizz. I LOVE Edward, especially when he is nerdy, angsty, or troubled; the more intense he is, the better. I love his caveman ways when he gets jealous. I am Bella+Edward all the way; I don't even read stories that have a Bella/Jake component, no matter how small. I just can't go there. I'm an original Wussperv, and wear my tragically canon tiara proudly. THE FANDOM The fandom has been a place where I've discovered some incredible women who have quickly become the sustenance of my life. I had no idea there were other intense, highly intelligent, witty, geeky, snarky, horny, smutty women out there, and I love it! The support system they provide is unlike anything I've ever experienced. For the record, however, I will be the first to admit that I don't understand those individuals (and, at times, groups) who make it their daily mission to tear down good people. Seriously, we're all adults here, right? We can put on our big girl pants and treat each other with civility and respect, even if we may not always agree with one another. That goes doubly for anyone low enough to hit below the belt and ridicule people for their physique and appearance. I have no time or patience for anyone who publicly rails against someone else. If you have an issue with someone, resolve it privately. Better yet, just ignore it all together. If you wouldn't want it said about you, then do not say it. PERIOD. The fandom is supposed to be fun and funny...please, let's all keep that in mind as we go about the business of satisfying our OCD tendencies. TRANSLATING MY STORIES Recently, I had offers to translate one of my stories into other languages. While I am tremendously flattered that anyone would like my story enough to translate it on my behalf, it makes me a little nervous to have a version of it available that I don't understand. Thus, at this time, I am politely declining any such requests until further notice. Thank you. THE PERV PACK'S SMUT SHACK I'm a proud member of the Perv Pack's Smut Shack Blog, where we celebrate smut in the Fandom. VERY NSFW, but a fun place to play. Come check us out: http://www.pervpackssmutshack.com I also post a weekly column on the PPSS blog called Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy. Past posts can be found here: http://www.pervpackssmutshack.com/search/label/NaughtyNurse LIVE JOURNAL (VERY NSFW!!): http://kimpy0464.livejournal.com Follow me on Twitter: @kimpy0464 | |||||||
1. The Nightingale Journals » reviewsNight nurse Bella Swan blogs about her experiences via "The Nightingale Journals." When Dr. Edward Cullen is named the PICU's newest Fellow, their attraction is undeniable, but they are trying to remain professional. Epic banter and UST result.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 234,162 - Reviews: 3125 - Updated: 12-2-11 - Published: 2-9-10 - Bella & Edward - Complete2. Just a Passenger in the Naughty Boy Car » reviewsSometimes, when you're the only female traveling amongst males, your life becomes one big fart joke! A series of goofball family vacation drabbles written for DICATAKADD for her second FGB piece. Intended as silly fluff.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,722 - Reviews: 78 - Updated: 11-26-11 - Published: 2-10-10 - Bella & Edward3. To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before reviewsJasper Whitlock is the Kirk to Edward Cullen's Spock—they're best friends and hardcore Trekkers. Will some smuggled Romulan Ale give Edward the liquid courage he needs to let Jasper know exactly how he feels? *Winner of the Hardcore Nerdward Contest*Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,833 - Reviews: 54 - Published: 8-7-11 - Edward & Jasper - Complete4. Bookworms: Birthday reviewsBella Swan captures a glimpse of a beautiful man, then starts to receive a series of sexy texts. Who is sending them to her? What does he want? To show her the stars. A smut shot written in honor of TFX's birthday.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,144 - Reviews: 52 - Published: 4-2-11 - Bella & Edward - Complete5. MatchDotCom reviewsWhen your first online date from MatchDotCom turns into the date from hell, is there any way to salvage your ego? Why yes, in fact, there is. It's called Jasper and Alice. M/F/F slash, originally posted on Twilighted's FFFA.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,721 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 11-24-10 - Jasper & Alice - Complete6. The Silver Lining » reviewsDivorced Bella meets widowed Edward one afternoon in a Laundromat, and an instant attraction results. When you meet your soulmate after your spouse dies, do you allow yourself fall in love? A FGB O/S written for Litljazzbird.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,141 - Reviews: 118 - Updated: 8-13-10 - Published: 8-7-10 - Edward & Bella7. Up reviewsTwo complete strangers wait for the elevator every day, arriving and leaving at the same time. One day, the electricity goes out while the strangers are riding together, and they find novel ways to make the time fly by. FGB one-shot for AgoodWITCH.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,807 - Reviews: 77 - Published: 8-1-10 - Bella & Edward - Complete8. Bookworms: Revenge reviewsAfter Edward "punishes" Bella for a misdeed she didn't commit, it's her turn to give Edward a taste of his own medicine. As they say, revenge is a dish best served cold, but Bella decides to serve it piping hot. Originally written for Fics for Nashville.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,945 - Reviews: 29 - Published: 7-27-10 - Bella & Edward - Complete9. Bookworms: Crime and Punishment reviewsBella has been a very naughty girl, inducing Edward to have erotic daydreams. For this egregious crime, she must be punished accordingly, in the most erotic of ways.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,717 - Reviews: 38 - Published: 4-23-10 - Edward & Bella - Complete10. The Anatomy Lesson reviewsWhen Edward asks Bella to help him study for a test, she has no idea that it is a hands-on learning experience. Rated M for citrus fruits.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,370 - Reviews: 52 - Published: 3-22-10 - Edward & Bella - Complete11. Bookworms: Silence reviewsBella and Edward challenge each other to an erotic game of chicken-who will be the first to utter a word while they ravage one another? One-shot from Haiti compilations.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,380 - Reviews: 34 - Published: 3-14-10 - Edward & Bella - Complete12. Love Among the Microbes reviewsCan a lab geek ever find the woman of his dreams? Well, he may be able to find her, but can he convince her to go on a date? Dr. Cullen does his very best to win over Dr. Swan's heart. Gigglesnort Awards Judge's Choice Winner.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,476 - Reviews: 81 - Published: 3-2-10 - Edward & Bella - Complete13. May I Help You reviewsEdward Cullen watches as the object of his affection flirts with Mike Newton at the Forks Diner. How is he going to get her back for her teasing? Published for Mrs. TheKing's Gratitude for Readers Day.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,326 - Reviews: 46 - Published: 2-28-10 - Edward & Bella - Complete14. Bookworms reviewsBella Swan is a reserved writer whose Saturday routine includes her favorite coffee, reading in the bookstore, and watching Edward Cullen. They trade furtive glances, until Bella decides to risk it all and introduce herself. FGB O/S for Marijee.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,643 - Reviews: 82 - Published: 1-15-10 - Bella & Edward - Complete15. Paging Dr Cullen reviewsDifficult patients are not the only challenge facing nurse Bella Swan in the Forks Hospital ER-and Dr. Edward Cullen is the biggest challenge of all. He's determined to win her over, she's determined to keep him at arm's length. Who will win?Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,616 - Reviews: 72 - Published: 1-1-10 - Bella & Edward - Complete16. Piano Man reviewsShy researcher Bella Swan is coerced by her best friend Jacob Black to spend a night in a gay bar checking out the new piano player, Edward Cullen. Can Bella find the way to Edward's heart by bringing him a tasty apple pie? FGB o/s for AngryBadgerGirlTwilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,519 - Reviews: 127 - Published: 12-23-09 - Bella & Edward - Complete17. Lipstick Traces reviewsBella Swan finds herself free from her significant other, and undergoes a transformation into a new, self-confident, independent woman. Part of her transformation involves new experiences of the most delicious kind. O/S Fem slash written for MsKathyTwilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,776 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 12-3-09 - Bella - Complete18. Desiderata » reviewsDesiderata is Latin for "desired things or something that is needed, wanted." Both Edward and Bella want happiness, but will their pig-headed stubbornness and biases get in the way of finding true love? Based upon Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice."Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 160,496 - Reviews: 826 - Updated: 11-25-09 - Published: 6-24-09 - Bella & Edward - Complete19. Danke Schoen reviewsGeeky Edward Cullen meets shy Bella Swan in 9th grade biology lab. When best friends fall in love, can it ever work? Rated M for juicy lemons. Finalist in the NaughtyHeels 80s contest.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,099 - Reviews: 52 - Published: 11-4-09 - Edward & Bella - Complete20. Dr Hot Bitch Goes to PoonTown reviewsThere's only one doctor in town who can heal nurse Bella Swan's broken heart-Dr. Carlisle Cullen, AKA Dr. Hot Bitch. Written for Ninapolitan's birthday on FF. Rated M for hot lemons, just the way Nina likes them!Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,667 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 10-14-09 - Bella & Carlisle - Complete21. So Close, Yet So Far reviewsCrackfic written for Sareliz. He is a beautiful yet aloof rogue. She is a prim yet coy seductress. They see each other daily, but they're just out of each other's reach. Can they ever find the way to each other's heart?Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,671 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 10-10-09 - Complete22. The Best Man reviewsJasper Whitlock has been in love with Bella Swan since the first time he saw her in the Forks High cafeteria. But Bella fell in love with his best friend, Edward. When tragedy strikes in Bella's life, can Jasper help her pick up the pieces and start over?Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,897 - Reviews: 27 - Published: 9-27-09 - Jasper & Bella - Complete23. The British Invasion reviewsEsme Masen is about to be schooled in the art of foreskin foreplay...and her sexy neighbor, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, is more than willing to be her tutor! Rated M for lemons. Official entry in Parkaward Contest.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,165 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 8-18-09 - Carlisle & Esme - Complete24. Underneath it All reviewsEdward Cullen is a recently divorced doctor/dad, Bella Swan is a nurse who works with him at Harborview ER. There is more than meets the eye with this pair, and they discover EXACTLY what lurks underneath their scrubs. Rated M for GRAPHIC lemon.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,928 - Reviews: 87 - Published: 7-29-09 - Edward & Bella - Complete25. The Green Eyed Monster Comes Out to Play reviewsBella Swan is a nurse in the Pediatric ICU, where Dr. Edward Cullen works. Sexual tension has been building between them for months. Will a session of heavy flirting over tequila shots resolve it? Second place winner in the Parkaward Contest.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,853 - Reviews: 157 - Published: 7-26-09 - Bella & Edward - Complete26. Frankie Say Relax reviewsWhat happens when Bella Swan meets Edward Cullen on the very day she has given up finding a boyfriend? The EPOV companion piece to "Like a Virgin."Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,276 - Reviews: 35 - Published: 6-9-09 - Edward & Bella - Complete27. Like a Virgin reviewsBella Swan wakes up one morning to an epiphany: She has given up on finding a boyfriend. What happens when she meets Edward Cullen the very same day? Age of Edward contest submission, 1980s Edward.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,329 - Reviews: 73 - Published: 6-3-09 - Bella & Edward - Complete
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