Twilightlover1518
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since: 03-16-09, id: 1868497, Profile Updated: 05-04-10
country: USA
Author has written 15 stories for Twilight.

Pen Name: Gabrielle (Gabby or Gab don't care lol :) )

Age: 15

Birthday: Jan 20, 1995

Awesomeness Level: 700000000 XD

Love for Twilight Level: Infenity :D

Fun Level: Too big of a number XD

Friends: (On and off the computer) 69 Nope, I'm not joking lol

About Me: Fun loving, outgoing, cannot stay or be kept indoors for long, loves cosmatology, art, singing, dancing, (even though I have two left feet lol) cheerleading, swimming, running, climbing, sculptures, writing, roller skating and gymnastics. Love to read, major daredevil.

Craziest Daredevil stunt I've ever tried to do; Umm...well, there all pretty messed up XD. One time, after may tries, I swung really high on a swing and jumped off when it was still in the air, I mean that sucker was almost over the bar and I just randomly jumped off, slammed into a pole and went face first into the sand XD!!

How I look: SPARTAAAAAAAAAA XD no, I'm just kidding. Okay, Light brown skin, Chocolate brown eyes, (YAY BELLA FEATURE) Black hair, down to my back. (Upper back). Always has huge bright smile on face. (I never frown. Frowning, to me at least, means that you're not happy with life. I'M VERY FREAKIN HAPPY!! :D)

Languages known: French, Spanish, English, Latin, Czech, Russian, Portuguese, Arabic, Norweigen, Chinese, Japanese, Danish, Dutch, Finnish, German, Galician, Hebrew, Hindi, Hungarian, Bulgarian, Polish, Italian, Swedish, Thai, Swahili, Slovak, Ukrainian, Sebrian, Turkish, Vietnamese, Croatian, Albanian and Korean.

Languages Actually Spoken somewhat fluently XD: English, Spanish XD!!

What's my wildest dream; My wildest dream has to be... hmm... maybe traveling around the world. I mean everywhere, no place left undiscovered. Just travel everywhere.

My most embarrassing feature: Well...I don't blush. Which is a good/bad thing. Another thing is...well, I kind of can immitate really well. Confused? Okay, let me explain. If I hear a voice, like say I'm talking to someone, and if they talk long enough, I can immitate there voice almost perfectly. :D I can do all voices of spongebob perfectly, I LOVE SPONGEBOB

I can immitate my mom, my sister, my brother, Bella, Alice, Ariel (the little mermaid), my friend Hannah, Melody (ariel's daughter in little mermaid two)...the list is freakin endless.

Where I got the idea for Twilight Retarded Edition: Well, I love fanfiction. This web site is amazing, but I didn't feel that some of the funny stories, were you know...funny enough. So, I read about 150 stories, all humor of course, and found out what people like, and what people don't like. Also, I wanted to write something that if I were the reader instead of the author, I would want to read it. And so, I just started writing and BOOM. a story was born :D

Stories: 14

No Rosalie Don't!

Twilight Retarded Edition

15 ways to give Edward Cullen a heart attack

10 ways to make Emmett cry

25 ways to annoy Rosalie Hale

The Cullens Boys Days Alone

Be my Hero

Just call and I will save you

Daddy, Can you make me pretty?

Black Stone

Walk a mile in my shoes

Why birds didn't come near Rosalie in BD

Rosalie...NO! (Haitus)

Disney--Cullen Style

Personality: Well, I'd like to think of myself as a nice person, but I will cut you if you get on my nerves. XD no, I'm just kidding lol

Why I wrote myself in some of my stories: Cause it was fun lol

Edward: What are you doing?

Me: Making a new profile

Edward: Oh.

Me: Yup

Edward: Can I help?

Me: Sure whatever

Edward: Okay...so, what do I do?

Me: Shrugs I think I pretty much did it all

Edward: :(

Me: Umm...OH! I know, let's tell everyone about you

Edward: they already know about me

Me: Not in my version

Edward: touche

Edward: Hello, My name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and I play piano, guitar, sing, dance, and whatever else this crazy Author makes me do. Oh, and because I accidently changed her in twilight retarded edition, she's my little sister. Okay, goodbye.

Me: Bye Edward

Me: Okay, I think that-

Bella: Ooh! Whatcha doing?

Me: Making a profile...

Bella: Can I help??

Me: I already did everything...but you can talk a little

Bella: YAY! Hi, my name is Isabella Marie Swan, I'm very clumsy, turn red at just about everything, sing, dance, I have an awesome boyfriend and best friend who are vampires. They sparkle!

Me: Okay, I think that's enough out of you

Bella: :(

Me: Okay, that's all, B-

Emmett: Hey, what's up!?

Me: sighs

Emmett: Can I talk too!?

Me: :/ fine rolls eyes

Emmett: WASSUP!? I'm Emmett MCcarty Cullen and I am totally awesome!

Me: ...

Rosalie: Hey, Have you seen Emmett?

Emmett: Right here babe! Here, say something!

Rosalie: Hello, I'm Rosalie Lillian Hale, I may not have a power, but my extreme beauty makes up for that. And don't worry, you can be jealous all you want. That just makes me feel better :)

Me: ...??

Jasper and Alice: Can we talk too??

Me: Eh, just go ahead

Alice: HI!! I'm Mary Alice Brandon Cullen! I can see the future! I may be small, but don't underestimate me! I am fast, strong and plus. I am a total shopping expert! Fashion is so my passion

Me: Looks like we got a fifth BRATZ doll...

Jasper: Hello, I'm Jasper Whitlock "Hale" Cullen. I used to be in the military. I control emotions :)

Me: And, that's about everyon-

Esme: Hello.

Me: groans

Esme: My name is Esme Cullen. (A/N i don't really know her last name lol) I'm the mother of the vampire family. I love all my children, but they can be a handful sometimes :)

Carlisle: Hello, My name is Carlisle Cullen. I'm a doctor and a "Father" I love all my children, and my loving wife Esme.

Me: Okay, that about sums it up. Bye People!! :D

Read Below if you hate Child Abuse

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Also, check out Concrete Angel by Martina McBride. There are sweet little children in the world who need help but are not receiving it. WE can make a difference if we just took the time to do show.

Child Abuse. Stop it.

Now.

Be my hero; Bella's New Hairstyle

http://www.hairstylesdesign.com/gallery/images/short_hairstyles_01_01.jpg

Be my hero; Alice's Living room

http://www.atlantarealestateforum.com/wp-content/photos/2007/08/wm-lakeview-at-hm-chadwick-living-room.jpg

Be my hero; Bella's Dress

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41Dh-hipQ5L._SexyFormalGown_.jpg

Be my hero; Bella's hairstyle

http://hairstyleschat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/prom-hairstyles-for-long-hair.jpg

Be my hero; Rosalie's Dress

http://lh3.google.com/_rCN9SB5zgWU/SBzoEpxcJkI/AAAAAAAAAEs/orIJOyhSkYQ/1015+darius+cordell+evening+gown.jpg

Be my hero; Alice's Dress

http://alldresses.com/mas_assets/product/d4009.jpg

Be my hero; Keke's Dress

http://www.promgirl.com/_img/PRODUCTS/320/PromGirl-401775310.jpg

Be my hero; Nicky's Dress

http://site.flowergirlus.com/bridesmaiddress_4939_L.jpg

Be my hero; Ashley's Dress

http://www.fashionright.com/images/prom-dresses.jpg

Be my hero; Nessie's Dress

http://www.thebridalshop.com/jovani/images/19418275.jpg

Be my hero; Bella's Engagement Ring

https://www.kranichs.com/product_images/Ritani@2253_M_1RZ1966CCRWG_M.jpg

Witch Doctor; Alvin and the Chipmunks :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1KD8LfvPWc#

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

There were 3 girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die

-Gab ;)

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Random Sarcastic Junk.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
(i try not to hurt there feelings. lol. :)=. )

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned
or just stupid.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway

Life's tough...Get a helmet

I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw

There are no stupid questions – just stupid people.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Racism should be stopped

A black man walks into A bar, a white man walks in and says
"No coloured people in here"
The black man says,
"When im born, im black
when i grow up, im black,
when im ill, im black
when im in the sun, im black
when im cold, im black
when im dead, im black
When your born, your pink,
when youre growing up, youre white
when youre ill, youre green
when youre in the sun, youre red
when youre cold, youre blue
when youre dead, youre purple,
now tell me youre not coloured!"
If you want to abolish racism, copy and paste this onto youre profile!!

IF YOU HATE STEREO TYPES READ AND POST THIS!!

Bold those that fit you!!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed
.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. ( I don't care either way )
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST be a great cook. ( i am but thats not the point )

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I DON'T LIKE to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

Labels are stupid so don't use them.

Black Stone Banner; (Well, not really. I just found it and thought it fit XD)

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/5300000/fan-art-rob-kris-twilight-series-5348826-512-458.jpg

Walk a mile in my shoes...

PHOTOS!!

Swans;

Isabella (Izzy) Swan (Ideal Nerd Look)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KNsqTtJqRK0/SMC5uBMaNbI/AAAAAAAAADo/qE-AvBS3wcA/s400/sarah+in+dorky+glasses.jpg

Isabella (Bella) Swan (Ideal after makeover look)

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs47/300W/f/2009/178/3/7/Bella_Swan_Manipulation_2_by_LadyMansonx.png

Renee Swan

http://photos.friendster.com/photos/62/18/92788126/1_244169658l.jpg

Charles (Charlie) Swan

http://tocnoto.si/teens/wp-content/uploads/billy_burke_555569.jpg

Cullens;

Edward Cullen

http://photos-p.friendster.com/photos/82/11/39661128/1_162607475l.jpg

http://picturesofedwardcullen.com/images/edward_3.jpg

Alice Brandon (pretend she has blue eyes)

http://www.truetwilight.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Ashley-Greene_l.jpg

Emmett McCarthy

http://legendarynd.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/kellan-lutz-87nh.jpg

Cullen/Hale Twins;

Rosalie Hale

http://api.ning.com/files/ajl0Ao2j4GUOTi7V5oSeN4PPnNAab3xN4dN2odUWl5o_/rosalie_cullen.jpg

Jasper Hale

http://twilightsagamovie.co.cc/jasper.jpg

Jasper and Rosalie Hale Together (Despite everything; Aww)

1) http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/5400000/Jasper-and-Rosalie-Hale-twilight-series-5484683-2227-2324.jpg

2) (Saw this and thought it was absolutely adorable) http://www.twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/hale-baby.jpg

Carlisle and Esme Cullen (to hard to find a good single pic for each)

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/still/twilight61.jpg

Brat Pack (As Edward calls them :D)

Tanya Denali

http://www.palzoo.net/file/pic/user/Rose-McGowan.jpg

Jessica Stanley

http://www.filmgrenade.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/stephany.png

Lauren Mallory

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/94/m_e9cc524848ea48dc951cce2abf1f4e98.jpg

Rosalie too, but she already got enough pics :)

Terri Denali

http://www.buddytv.com/battleimages/usr2013920/2013920_f05666e1-f3a7-453b-9c50-c452209af20e-noah-puckerman.jpg

Angela Weber (Though she has little part in story)

http://i573.photobucket.com/albums/ss172/TheCCoven/AngelaWeber.png

Bella and Edward as kids

Bella;

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_pk2tbRi9IEY/SUHilvrj5pI/AAAAAAAAAC4/WSXshvtiJcw/s400/sad+little+girl.jpg

Edward (ideal);

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/4631818/2/istockphoto_4631818-red-haired-boy.jpg

That's all folks :) Well...until I get more characters XD


1. Walk a mile in my shoes » reviews
Isabella Swan has always loved Edward Cullen. But one fateful day at school changes her view on him forever. One day, at the school fair, a mysterious lady makes one of Bella's worsts wishes true. Will Bella regret it? Or will she take advantage? R&R T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 66,130 - Reviews: 410 - Updated: 11-11-10 - Published: 1-5-10 - Edward & Bella
2. Last Breaths » reviews
Edward Masen, a small boy living in the dreary town of Forks Washington has a terrible secret. His father, Edward Senior, constantly abuses him, resulting in several injuries, a broken heart and...a mental disorder? Full Summary inside R&R T Short HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,483 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-6-10 - Published: 5-28-10 - Edward & Bella
3. Daddy's Little Girl » reviews
When the Cullens' youngest member runs away, Edward falls apart. Bella is devastated, and no one speaks of their loss. But what happens when years later, they find a little girl, who looks exactly like the one they loss? Who's her mother? R&R plz
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,012 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 4-7-10 - Published: 3-17-10 - Edward & Renesmee C./Nessie
4. Broadway Blues » reviews
Bella Swan has a big gift. Her voice has wowed millions of people, but it is not all glamour and glitter for this girl. Still sore over a personal loss, she moves to Forks, where little does she know, her life is about to change...forever. R&R T HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,672 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 1-28-10 - Published: 1-24-10 - Edward & Bella
5. Be my hero » reviews
Bella, Edward and Alice are all orphans, living off there love for each other. One day, Ms Willow, there overseer, who was like a mother to them, turns up missing and is reported dead. Moving in her place is a man; Taylor Wilkins. Sum inside. Rate changes
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 34 - Words: 93,337 - Reviews: 360 - Updated: 12-9-09 - Published: 7-1-09 - Bella & Edward - Complete
6. Disney Cullen Style reviews
What the title says. Rated T just because. Please review! :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,303 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-3-09
7. Twilight Retarded Edition » reviews
LOL ITS PRETTY MUCH WHAT THE CULLEN CLAN THAT INCLUDES BELLA DO WHEN THERE BORED. HEHE warning: may contain funny contents that are just plain retarded please refrain from smashing the computer if you don't like my story. Thank you! : a tiny bit OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 26,537 - Reviews: 233 - Updated: 7-31-09 - Published: 4-5-09 - Complete
8. Extreme Twilight Madness » reviews
Be afraid. Be very afraid. *Backs away slowly*
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 2,224 - Reviews: 105 - Updated: 7-22-09 - Published: 6-29-09 - Complete
9. Daddy, Can you make me pretty? reviews
Lol, while everyone is out, it's just Nessie and our fav vampie dad, and no not Carlisle. EDWARD! Renesmee was promised to be taken on a trip to the aquarium, but her mom is out. Soo...what does a girl do? She goes to her awesome dad! Cute One Shot R&R
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 7-15-09 - Edward & Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
10. The Cullen Boys Days Alone » reviews
Lol everyone but the three boys are out, and they are BOOOOREEEEEEEED. What will happen? Find out in these short funny stories! Rated T for language. Warning: May have content that is just plain stupid. Please refrain from hunting me down and shooting me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,205 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 5-20-09 - Published: 5-19-09 - Edward & Emmett
11. 10 Ways to make Emmett Cry reviews
What the title says. And if your still not clear, then just click and read for yourself ;D
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 26 - Published: 5-13-09 - Emmett - Complete
12. 15 Ways to give Edward a heart attack reviews
Does this even need a summary? I mean come on, the title says it all ;D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 5-12-09 - Edward - Complete
13. 25 Ways To Annoy Rosalie Hale reviews
No summary. Just a whole lot of awesomeness
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 336 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 5-6-09 - Rosalie - Complete
14. No Rosalie Don't! » reviews
What happens when Rosalie gets fed up with Bella being around all the time and decides to take matters into her own hands to get rid of the Human? Problems with occur of course normal pairings a little OOC but not too much! R&R and please leave comment.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,367 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 4-10-09 - Published: 4-2-09 - Bella & Rosalie - Complete