Author has written 15 stories for Twilight.
Pen Name: Gabrielle (Gabby or Gab don't care lol :) )
Birthday: Jan 20, 1995
Awesomeness Level: 700000000 XD
Love for Twilight Level: Infenity :D
Fun Level: Too big of a number XD
Friends: (On and off the computer) 69 Nope, I'm not joking lol
About Me: Fun loving, outgoing, cannot stay or be kept indoors for long, loves cosmatology, art, singing, dancing, (even though I have two left feet lol) cheerleading, swimming, running, climbing, sculptures, writing, roller skating and gymnastics. Love to read, major daredevil.
Craziest Daredevil stunt I've ever tried to do; Umm...well, there all pretty messed up XD. One time, after may tries, I swung really high on a swing and jumped off when it was still in the air, I mean that sucker was almost over the bar and I just randomly jumped off, slammed into a pole and went face first into the sand XD!!
How I look: SPARTAAAAAAAAAA XD no, I'm just kidding. Okay, Light brown skin, Chocolate brown eyes, (YAY BELLA FEATURE) Black hair, down to my back. (Upper back). Always has huge bright smile on face. (I never frown. Frowning, to me at least, means that you're not happy with life. I'M VERY FREAKIN HAPPY!! :D)
Languages known: French, Spanish, English, Latin, Czech, Russian, Portuguese, Arabic, Norweigen, Chinese, Japanese, Danish, Dutch, Finnish, German, Galician, Hebrew, Hindi, Hungarian, Bulgarian, Polish, Italian, Swedish, Thai, Swahili, Slovak, Ukrainian, Sebrian, Turkish, Vietnamese, Croatian, Albanian and Korean.
Languages Actually Spoken somewhat fluently XD: English, Spanish XD!!
What's my wildest dream; My wildest dream has to be... hmm... maybe traveling around the world. I mean everywhere, no place left undiscovered. Just travel everywhere.
My most embarrassing feature: Well...I don't blush. Which is a good/bad thing. Another thing is...well, I kind of can immitate really well. Confused? Okay, let me explain. If I hear a voice, like say I'm talking to someone, and if they talk long enough, I can immitate there voice almost perfectly. :D I can do all voices of spongebob perfectly, I LOVE SPONGEBOB
I can immitate my mom, my sister, my brother, Bella, Alice, Ariel (the little mermaid), my friend Hannah, Melody (ariel's daughter in little mermaid two)...the list is freakin endless.
Where I got the idea for Twilight Retarded Edition: Well, I love fanfiction. This web site is amazing, but I didn't feel that some of the funny stories, were you know...funny enough. So, I read about 150 stories, all humor of course, and found out what people like, and what people don't like. Also, I wanted to write something that if I were the reader instead of the author, I would want to read it. And so, I just started writing and BOOM. a story was born :D
No Rosalie Don't!
Twilight Retarded Edition
15 ways to give Edward Cullen a heart attack
10 ways to make Emmett cry
25 ways to annoy Rosalie Hale
The Cullens Boys Days Alone
Be my Hero
Just call and I will save you
Daddy, Can you make me pretty?
Walk a mile in my shoes
Why birds didn't come near Rosalie in BD
Personality: Well, I'd like to think of myself as a nice person, but I will cut you if you get on my nerves. XD no, I'm just kidding lol
Why I wrote myself in some of my stories: Cause it was fun lol
Edward: What are you doing?
Me: Making a new profile
Edward: Can I help?
Me: Sure whatever
Edward: Okay...so, what do I do?
Me: Shrugs I think I pretty much did it all
Me: Umm...OH! I know, let's tell everyone about you
Edward: they already know about me
Me: Not in my version
Edward: Hello, My name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and I play piano, guitar, sing, dance, and whatever else this crazy Author makes me do. Oh, and because I accidently changed her in twilight retarded edition, she's my little sister. Okay, goodbye.
Me: Bye Edward
Me: Okay, I think that-
Bella: Ooh! Whatcha doing?
Me: Making a profile...
Bella: Can I help??
Me: I already did everything...but you can talk a little
Bella: YAY! Hi, my name is Isabella Marie Swan, I'm very clumsy, turn red at just about everything, sing, dance, I have an awesome boyfriend and best friend who are vampires. They sparkle!
Me: Okay, I think that's enough out of you
Me: Okay, that's all, B-
Emmett: Hey, what's up!?
Emmett: Can I talk too!?
Me: :/ fine rolls eyes
Emmett: WASSUP!? I'm Emmett MCcarty Cullen and I am totally awesome!
Rosalie: Hey, Have you seen Emmett?
Emmett: Right here babe! Here, say something!
Rosalie: Hello, I'm Rosalie Lillian Hale, I may not have a power, but my extreme beauty makes up for that. And don't worry, you can be jealous all you want. That just makes me feel better :)
Jasper and Alice: Can we talk too??
Me: Eh, just go ahead
Alice: HI!! I'm Mary Alice Brandon Cullen! I can see the future! I may be small, but don't underestimate me! I am fast, strong and plus. I am a total shopping expert! Fashion is so my passion
Me: Looks like we got a fifth BRATZ doll...
Jasper: Hello, I'm Jasper Whitlock "Hale" Cullen. I used to be in the military. I control emotions :)
Me: And, that's about everyon-
Esme: My name is Esme Cullen. (A/N i don't really know her last name lol) I'm the mother of the vampire family. I love all my children, but they can be a handful sometimes :)
Carlisle: Hello, My name is Carlisle Cullen. I'm a doctor and a "Father" I love all my children, and my loving wife Esme.
Me: Okay, that about sums it up. Bye People!! :D
Read Below if you hate Child Abuse
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Also, check out Concrete Angel by Martina McBride. There are sweet little children in the world who need help but are not receiving it. WE can make a difference if we just took the time to do show.
Child Abuse. Stop it.
Be my hero; Bella's New Hairstyle
Be my hero; Alice's Living room
Be my hero; Bella's Dress
Be my hero; Bella's hairstyle
Be my hero; Rosalie's Dress
Be my hero; Alice's Dress
Be my hero; Keke's Dress
Be my hero; Nicky's Dress
Be my hero; Ashley's Dress
Be my hero; Nessie's Dress
Be my hero; Bella's Engagement Ring
Witch Doctor; Alvin and the Chipmunks :)
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
There were 3 girls
They were looking through peoples
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
Repost or you are going to die
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
Random Sarcastic Junk.
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!
My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!
let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.
yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
i speak fluent sarcasm.
are yhu stoned
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark
Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw
There are no stupid questions – just stupid people.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
Racism should be stopped
A black man walks into A bar, a white man walks in and says
IF YOU HATE STEREO TYPES READ AND POST THIS!!
Bold those that fit you!!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
Labels are stupid so don't use them.
Black Stone Banner; (Well, not really. I just found it and thought it fit XD)
Walk a mile in my shoes...
Isabella (Izzy) Swan (Ideal Nerd Look)
Isabella (Bella) Swan (Ideal after makeover look)
Charles (Charlie) Swan
Alice Brandon (pretend she has blue eyes)
Jasper and Rosalie Hale Together (Despite everything; Aww)
2) (Saw this and thought it was absolutely adorable)
Carlisle and Esme Cullen (to hard to find a good single pic for each)
Brat Pack (As Edward calls them :D)
Rosalie too, but she already got enough pics :)
Angela Weber (Though she has little part in story)
Bella and Edward as kids
That's all folks :) Well...until I get more characters XD
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