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| IfEaRnOfIsH |
Author has written 33 stories for Doctor Who, Assassin's Creed, Sherlock, His Dark Materials, and Harry Potter. What're you doing here? For God's sake, I just boiled the kettle. If you want a cuppa', you can go get it yourself, 'cuz I'm not going to. Cheek of it. Strolling into someone's profile when you haven't been invited. Chrissakes... I'm IfEaRnOfIsH. (I can't tell you my real name, or the government'll come after you) I was an experiment gone wrong - my dad took me into Canary Wharf when I was four (He works for TORCHWOOD, posing as an IT engineer for Barclays) and I ran into the middle of a laser fire which led to some interesting results. IfEaRnOfIsH was a code name given to me after I fell into a pirhana tank at the zoo and they all decided to make me their queen and hold numerous festivals in my honour. The zoo keepers were very upset, but TORCHWOOD took care of that. Unfortunately, when I hit puberty, I started eating radiators and scared all the kids at school, so my father was told that he had to give me something to occupy myself before I nommed on something important. Kiarra-Chan was the first (I can't give you her real name either - it's not that TORCHWOOD'll have a problem, its just not polite) It so happened that upon her birthday she stumbled across a work in progress - a Harry Potter and Doctor Who crossover named The Science of Magic, and said it was the best crossover she'd read in a while. Of course I replied in a heartbeat, and through a series of PM's became the bestest of friends. You'll be surprised to know that those spirials over her eyes aren't just glasses - they're her real eyes. She's employed by UNIT to see through walls and can detect the heat signatures of most small rodents from a hundred miles away with those things. We happened to stumble across each other in London town one time after a few hours of screaming WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU down the phone to each other and had the most wonderful of times. I urge you to read her work - its insightful and life saving. The tale of how SchmEthanand I met is a most strange one - and it begins with a review of a story called Of Wizards and Popcorn (I do believe that the legendary review can still be seen on the review page today) where he believed me to be a man and referred to me as such. Of course my mutant DNA bristled at this, and I sent a reply back correcting the mistake. Which was followed by a series of at least 304 replies over the course of a year - and it was decreed that we should go into writing together and conquer the internet. And that we did through the use of the ingenius invention of The Hub Show, which makes no sense and should be burned at the stake for heresay, but we thought it was awfully cool. And soon communication through PM's became Facebook, and through that, the wonder that is Skype. There we would do random, play MarioKart on the Wii and talk often into the small hours of the morning, becoming the best friends that we never expected to be. The world ended when we met in person at Belfast airport because of the sheer amount of awesome that had twice the power of your average atom bomb. We did war with swords at Carrickfergus Castle, and when the time came that we had to leave, it was quite saddening. However, since he's been living in London for university, you'll find me on some weekends in his kitchen, with a cup a tea from my stash in the kitchen cupboard, or having sexy teims with Frey. Its been wonderful and happy existence. :D iguannablogger - OH MY WONDERFUL IGUANA. With yet another friendship started by one review, Skype has exploded with awesome once again. There's no one funnier, and no one better at drawing. SHE DREW SOME STUFF FROM MY FICS UYFJYKLIOJKNBHGFT If you want endless Assassin's Creed, HTTYD and SO MUCH MORE, go head over to her spot on the interwebs, and check out her art too! The Red Lily lives in a place that has bags of milk. If you don't mind that sort of thing, you should go and check her out. In the short amount of time that I've beta'd for her, I've seen her writing come on in leaps and bounds. Check her out - you won't regret it! (Shame about the bags of milk though) QuitSextingMyUnicorn wishes she has bio writing skills like mine. But you can't fault her on her Johnlock. May I be the first to proudly present her as FF.Net's newest author, and say that she'll certainly be one of the best. Oh, and we're also married. Go check her out, or I'll kill you. HEY YO DO YOU PLAY XBOX? THEN ADD ME! My XBOX Live tag is IfEaRnOfIsHh (Live wouldn't take my username as it was, for some reason) The only thing I really play online is Assassin's Creed, but I'm up for a bit of Portal or Halo if you fancy it! I'm also quite content with sitting and having a chat, too. :D If you do want to add me, please hit me up with a PM telling me you're from ff.net, as I'm not one to accept random friend requests. Thanks! Well, that sums it up. If you're interested in joining TORCHWOOD at all, let me know and I'll put in a good word for you. ;) GUIZ, I HAS A TUMBLR, YOU SHOULD GO FOLLOW IF YOU WANT YOUR DASH SPAMMED WITH AC AND DAVID TENNANT. THINGS I'M WORKING ON: Dottore: My ACB/Doctor Who crossover. And that is literally it right now. This fic is HUGE. I am LOVING writing this - its like a novel of my own and I'm surprising myself with the things I think up and how its going. Unfortunately, due to SchmEthan being at university, the chapters are no longer beta'd, but I think I'm competent enough a writer to keep out the worst of blunders. I really hope you go give it a read, its my best work yet and I'd love some feedback! There might be a few projects later on that won't be updated as much as Dottore, but will be updated all the same! :) | |||||||||
1. Dottore » reviewsAbstergo has meddled too much, for too long. The threads of time are crossing, and the Doctor and all that he is are being sucked into the chaos, where a man lies in an Animus in a corrupt TORCHWOOD. All hope is lost - for now. T for language and themes.Crossover - Doctor Who & Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 104 - Words: 103,057 - Reviews: 148 - Updated: 4-10-13 - Published: 5-22-11 - 11th Doctor & Ezio A.2. Daemon's Creed » reviewsEzio's daemon suited him like no other. Together, they worked in the darkness to serve the light, and having found it, made it burn.Crossover - His Dark Materials & Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,896 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-1-13 - Published: 10-26-12 - Ezio A.3. Vatican Cameos reviewsIts all about control. J/S. Set during the Hound of the Baskervilles.Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-26-12 - John W. & Sherlock H.4. Rage Infinite reviewsRage: Noun: Violent, uncontrollable anger. Verb:Feel or express violent uncontrollable anger. And then there is Sherlock's rage upon finding that the American's hurt Ms Hudson. And its something infinite and unstoppable.Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,520 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-5-12 - Mrs. Hudson & Sherlock H.5. Blood Tests reviewsMycroft's paid John to get some of Sherlock's blood. But Sherlock's not having any of it. This is just me testing the waters in this part of the fandom - a bit of fun and no shipping. Unfortunately.Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,573 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2-4-12 - Sherlock H. & John W. - Complete6. The Hub Show » reviewsLIVE! From a deep dark cave, located in Wrong End of the Stick Forest, TEH HUB SHOW! Where Doctor Who and TORCHWOOD characters are forced to answer thought provoking *Quiet laughter* questions! Hosted by SchmEthan and IfEaRnOfiSH/Jinxy! HAMS!Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,749 - Reviews: 97 - Updated: 11-27-11 - Published: 6-12-097. Crazy reviewsAn Abstergo Agent is the last to go mad - of this he is certain. Song fic - "Crazie " by I Fight Dragons.Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Horror/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 974 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10-28-11 - Officer8. In Ol' London Town reviewsIn Ol' London Town, something howls in the night. Can you hear it, Jack the Ripper? The Assassin's coming for you. T for themes. A gift for iguanablogger.Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,020 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-7-11 - Complete9. Blood Soaked Texas reviewsTexas. An outlaw and his girl. There's a scar on his lip. Cowboy Assassins, what more could you possibly want?Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,157 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-25-11 - Complete10. Affairs of the British Heart » reviewsShaun needs a cuppa'. But she's in the way, and he'll have to go past her first. Y'want pointless fluff for your evening in with your J20 and your cat? You'll get it here. T for language, M for themes later.Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,878 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 5-11-11 - Published: 3-13-11 - Shaun H. & Rebecca C. - Complete11. The Truth reviewsThis is how Paradise was lost.Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 3-23-11 - Adam12. Snap reviewsHe visits her once a year, every year. Oh, the things she will tell him. Oh, the things she has seen. Rated for suicidal references. Post JE.Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,855 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-19-10 - 10th Doctor - Complete13. Geronimo! reviewsWhy exactly did he choose that word? Where did it come from? A short summary of how that word came around. MAJOR SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT FOR THE END OF TIME PART TWO. Consider yourself warned. :DDoctor Who - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1-3-10 - 11th Doctor - Complete14. The Nightmare that is the Study Timetables » reviewsI'M BACK WITH ANOTHER CROSSOVER! This time, Ron and Harry seek to destory the awful talking time tables they've been landed with, and The Doctor is forced to join in their quest to destory the timetables...WARNING...This fic contiains choas and stupidty.Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,879 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 7-30-09 - Published: 7-16-09 - 10th Doctor15. Between You and Me reviewsWhen one is utterly wasted…things one really doesn't want people to know have a tendency to slip out…even certain names.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-29-09 - 10th Doctor & River Song/Melody P. III16. The Search for the Truth » reviewsBased on the awesome comic strip - The Search for the Truth. Five Canadians in Cardiff City. One Torchwood hub. One Clairey-Wairey Detector. One Dalek in a jar. One British man in the magic blue box. ONE SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH! Rated for language only.Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,576 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 7-27-09 - Published: 7-18-09 - 10th Doctor17. Hello! reviewsSong-fic, based on Take That's, "Hello." Rose reflects on her relationship with the Doctor and makes some strange comparisons. One shot - and give me some flames if you want. I need something to point and laugh at.Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,219 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-16-09 - 10th Doctor & Rose T.18. The Black Parade reviewsThose who have been drawn to the glittering bell gather to remember the one who was perhaps the luckiest of them all. The one who forgot. A song fic, "The Black Parade." By My Chemical Romance.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,123 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-24-09 - Complete19. Subject Of the Song » reviewsWhat the Ood sung. Co written with LuckyBlackCat. We don't give a care for your flames. BAH!Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 4 - Words: 562 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 6-23-09 - Published: 5-15-09 - 10th Doctor & Donna N.20. Of Wizards and Popcorn reviewsDonna's reaction to the Doctor's appearence in The Goblet of Fire. This is based on my friend's similliar reaction.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,610 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 6-10-09 - 10th Doctor & Donna N. - Complete21. There Will Be No More Children of War reviewsA poem for Journey's End. -WARNING- MAJOR SPOILERS!Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 364 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-26-09 - 10th Doctor22. Daisy Chain of Thoughts reviewsWhile Rose sits back among daises and apple grass, she reflects on her relationship with the Doctor, while chanting an old ryhme from her childhood..Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 5-22-09 - 10th Doctor & Rose T.23. The Science of Magic » reviewsThe TARDIS crash lands in Hogwarts' grounds, leading to inevitable adventures...but is there darkness afoot? Will the Doctor and his new found companions pull togther and beat it! WILL RON AND HARRY ESCAPE THE TIMETABLES! First fanfic! No flames!Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 26,923 - Reviews: 138 - Updated: 5-16-09 - Published: 4-8-09 - 10th Doctor - Complete24. Feline Furiousness » reviewsThe Doctor and Donna encounter their greatest enemy yet...a headstrong cat.Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,879 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 5-2-09 - Published: 4-26-09 - 10th Doctor & Donna N.25. Ants reviewsRose makes a promise to the human Doctor. -WARNING- Slight spoilers for Journey's End...ever so slight, though. :DDoctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 933 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 5-1-09 - Rose T. & 10th Doctor26. He Will Knock Four Times reviewsA poem I wrote after Planet of the Dead. -WARNING- Major spoilers ahead!Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-28-09 - 10th Doctor - Complete27. Running Along the Bay reviewsWe were back on Bad Wolf Bay, but yet, I had all I was ever looking for…and more… Rose/10.5Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,206 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-20-09 - Rose T. & 10th Doctor28. It Was Her He Chose reviews"There was nothing but a brick wall…it was her he had chosen, not me." My take on what Rose was thinking when the Doctor jumped through the time window on the SS Madame DePompadour.Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-18-09 - 10th Doctor & Rose T.29. Games Over Caviar, Salad, Tofu and Truffles! » reviewsA sequel to Games Over Salad, Steak, Chips and a Rocky Horror! As the games continue, it's the Doctor's turn to pick a restraunt. This surely means it's Rose's turn...?Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,035 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 4-18-09 - Published: 4-12-09 - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - Complete30. The Puzzle Piece Kidnapper reviewsThe Doctor is determined to finish the 3000 piece puzzle, and Donna is fed up with it. As a desperate attempt to do something else, she kidnaps the last puzzle piece. A war aboard the TARDIS ensues.Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 4-16-09 - 10th Doctor & Donna N.31. Doctor, Defied reviewsWhat was going through the Master's head in his final moments.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-15-09 - 10th Doctor32. Running without shoes reviewsRose finally realises something...where she left her heart...and runs all the way home to get it. Set after Journey's end, with the human Doctor.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-13-09 - 10th Doctor & Rose T.33. Games Over Salad, Steak, Chips and a Rocky Horror reviewsThe Doctor and Rose attempt to go out for dinner, but the Doctor soon becomes annoyed at a keen waiter, who rather likes Rose. But he doesn't know she to his planning her own game play. A quiet war ensues.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,695 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 4-9-09 - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - Complete
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